Posts by atech

The point of the movie is self-reflection: Would you push the button?

I saw the aliens as a way to explain who was controlling everything, it was a way to leave God and religion out of the movie.  The "employees" were everyone.  Dude and the aliens were able to use whomever they wanted to try to test others and to keep an eye on those who were being tested.

They couldn't tell about all the consequences of of pushing the button because that would affect the outcome of the test.  The test was to see how selfish people are.  If they knew that their life would somehow be affected negatively by pushing the button, no one would ever push the button.  If they believe that the only efftect is that someone they don't know will die, then they have the opportunity to truly choose to be selfish or to put others before themselves.

No one ended up in jail for killing their spouse.  The NSA took them.  At one point in the middle of the movie there is a line of people walking down a strangely lit path in what looks like a wharehouse.  I'm pretty sure those were all the people who ended up killing their spouse and they were all heading to their eternal reward for doing such.  The guy who warned the other guy somehow managed to not be taken by the NSA, who was using the police force to try to find him.

Honestly, I loved the movie.  It was a little choppy and hard to follow at times but I enjoyed the idea that life is a test.  It was a great way to reflect on the human race and where we all stand as a people: are we selfish or do we put others before ourselves?  If we all passed and put others before ourselves the world would be a better place.

Don't worry about it.  An over 2000 calorie day every once in a while may be good for you.  For example, I try to eat about 1600 calories a day.  I find that if I stick to that for about 2 weeks I stop losing.  But, if every 7-10 days I add a day where I eat about 1800-2000 calories I never get to that point where it has been a week and I haven't lost anything.

Also, talk to your friend.  Tell her that you appreciate the thought she put into getting you a treat and that it was delicious but you felt like crap afterward (physically and emotionally).  Explain that that crappy feeling is why you are trying to eat better, because you don't want to feel like crap, you want to feel healthy.

I think I'm going to go a different direction than everyone else here:  your ex-wife's mother was killed by her father.  

I'm going to guess that she is trying to cling to the best parental examples she has, your parents.  Even though your mother is a little crazy, her family is totally screwed up and un-reliable and she doesn't have a mother to have any kind of relationship with.  Maybe she realizes that throwing your kids into your family is the best way to keep them away from the crap that is her family.

That's just a guess.  You feeling left out is totally understandable.  I think you should set some boundaries with your ex and with your family.  Don't get all upset when they do some things without you if they are still doing things with you.

They probably do understand that it is difficult for you to be around her at family functions.  Maybe they didn't invite you to the amusement park because they are trying to be the family that your ex doesn't have.

Because divorce is difficult, she needs support too.  She has relied on your family for 12 years and it has to be difficult for her to just let go of that.  I image that as things move forward and you both get on with your lives, she will rely less on your family and these awkward and sometimes hurtful situations will fade out.

Again, talk to your family and your ex.  Set boundaries that everyone can live with.

Good luck.

CJ and I don't mind doing chores, and we both like a clean house, so, for us, the actual cleaning isn't a problem.

In order to get us both off our butts to actually do the chores, I'll say to CJ "X Y and Z need to be done today.  Which would you like to do?"  He'll pick the one he dislikes least and I follow with "Great.  I'll do Z.  Whoever finishes first can start on X, then the other will help finish."

CJ and I also have different standards for cleanliness and/or different ways of getting things done.  We both understand this and when we choose chores, we never say anything about the other person's chores not being up to our standards or being done differently than we might do them.  We're just grateful that things are getting done.

This system we have works great because we end up getting things done pretty fast.

Also, I try not to load too much on us at once.  If I know 5-6 things need to get done I'll try to get 2-3 done one day and the rest done another day.

Stocks are a really good idea.  Right now they are relatively cheap and the markets are currently starting to increase.  In the long run (over 10 or so years) stocks have never failed to create a return.  If you decide on stocks, make sure it is managed, like a mutual fund or retirement savings or something like that.

If everyone said, "The stock market sucks right now, I'm not going to invest in stocks", the market would never recover.

Once upon a time I heard that if baby bird is touched by a human (ie gets a strange non-bird scent on it), the mother will abandon the baby.  Plus, if the newly scented chick gets the new scent on other chicks in the nest, the mother will abandon those chicks as well.  So, if this is true, handling the bird to put it back in the nest won't do it much good.  If she really wants it to live she can take it home and attempt to nurture it herself, which probably won't work either (I know that one from personal experience).

Summary: that poor chick is pretty much screwed.

Before we had finally decided, yes we are getting married for sure, there were no plans for anything.

After we talked about it and he talked to my dad (which happened the same day) but before I had a ring on my finger we talked a little about where we would live (he worked about 40 miles from where I worked so we decided to live in the middle) and a little about finances (which didn't do us much good because we were both laid off a month later).  We also came up with a range of dates: mid February to mid March.

I told him that nothing would actually be planned and no one would be officially told until I had a ring on my finger, which gave him some motivation to go buy a ring and properly propose (use the words "will you marry me?").

People make those comments and think they can get away with making those comments because when they make those comments the people they are making comments about just laugh and ignore it on the outside while being hurt on the inside.  The only way people are going to stop making comments like that is to let them know that it is inappropriate.

Next time she makes a comment like that say something to her.  "Hey, that comment is not appropriate and I do not appreciate when you talk to me like that."  

It very well may be her own insecurities that she is showing with a comment like that.  Keeping quiet about her comments is only going to let her know that she can get away with saying those things.  Keeping quiet helps no one.

The OP is like so many others that I see in the forums.  It is time for people to start standing up for themselves!  You don't have to be rude or mean to stand up for yourself but you do need to firmly and confidently let people know that their rude comments will not be tolerated.

It sounds to me like you have already decided that you aren't going to eat the cake, which is fine.  If you don't want it, don't eat it.

You could reply to your coworkers with a sincere "Thankyou" and then add that cake isn't something you want to eat right now or you are still full from lunch or tell them that you wouldn't enjoy it as much as they will.  

I also liked pavlovcat's idea of saying that you'll take a peice home with you (and actually take it) but throw it away or give it to a family member when you get home.

lorik,

Victorian views toward sex are not the only reason to wait until marriage. 

Yes, sex is an important part of a relationship, but waiting until after marriage to find out how sexually compatible two people are is not wrong or stupid.  So what if I get into a marriage and find out that working toward sexual compatibility is going to be hard.  Marriage isn't easy anyway.  The point is to find someone you love who loves you who shares your dreams, values, and goals and then you figure out how to make everything else come together.  You work at it; and if "it" includes sex, then you work at that too.

There are a handful of reasons why I have waited and will continue to wait until I am married before I have sex.  I consider myself to be very religious and some of my reasons stem from that.

-I believe that my waiting shows self control (I have had a number of opportunities that I passed up).  If I have self control and if I have the ability to tell myself (and a potential partner) no, I believe I have a better ability to control other emotions (anger, for example) which could lead to better understand and better communication in a relationship.

-I believe that my body is a gift from God and that that gift should not be abused or damaged (I'm thinking STDs here) and should be respected (by myself and others).  This is also why I don't drink, smoke, use illicit drugs, or dress inappropriately and why I try to eat right and exercise.

-I believe that procreation should be kept between a husband and a wife so that children have the opportunity to learn from and be loved by both a mother and a father.  Yes, you can have sex without reproducing, but there is always the risk of pregnancy.

-I believe waiting until marriage shows an added level of commitment from me to my future husband (I am engaged and my fiance has also waited, showing the same commitment and dedication to me) and an added level of commitment from me to my Savior, who created me and blesses me and helps me through the hard times.

-I know, not from my own experience but from experiences of others, that it is difficult to separate sex from emotion.  I have been in relationships that ended difficultly for me.  I know that if sex had been a part of that relationship, it would have been even more difficult for me to bounce back.

-I believe that having only one partner to share those experiences with brings two people closer together, emotionally and physically.

The only reason I have find in my own life to not wait until marriage is a physical desire to have sex.  This doesn't even begin to compare to the reasons I am waited, so I wait.

I understand that you may not agree with my reasons for waiting until I am married, but I wanted to put those reasons out there so others may have a better understanding of why I, and many other people, wait to have sex until after marriage.

I became a believer in Renter's Insurance when a friend of mine was between living places.  Some of her stuff was at her parent's house and some was at her grandmother's house and some was in her car.  Well, her parents live in California and while her stuff was in their house, their house burned down in one of the wildfires.  Her insurance covered the cost of everything lost in the fire (unfortunately they can never bring back anything that had sentimental value).  Until then I had no idea that stuff would be covered no matter where it was.

I have my Renter's Insurance with the same company as my Car Insurance.  Because of the discount, the total cost of both is about $2 more than what just my Car Insurance would have been by itself.

Original Post by nasuoni:

What I'd like to know from those who think that being gay is a choice is...

When did you 'choose' to be straight? And could you choose to be gay if you wanted?

To me, heterosexual relations appear to be the natural form of relationship; we are physically built for it.  It seems to me that a person wouldn't need to choose to be straight in order to be straight; I assume that tendency comes naturally.

And yes, I see where you are going with this.  And no, I can't prove that homosexuality is not also natural.  But I can state that the body isn't physically designed (in the reproductive way) to allow for homosexual relations.

It is my understanding that the point of a physical attraction is to promote reproduction and the propagation of the species, which can't be naturally accomplished in a homosexual relationship.

I keep reading posts that say that it is a fact that a person cannot choose their sexuality.  Where are y'all getting this fact?  Where/How was it proven?  What are the evidences of this fact?

What I'm reading into everyone's posts so far is that there is a difference between "one true church" and "one true faith" and that difference is the human quality that makes up an organized religion, which is quite insightful; thank you for your thoughts.

first, it's contradictory to say that you believe your church is "the one true church" and then to say that it's subjective.  if it's "the one true church" then it's everyone's one true church, right?  unless, of course, you mean that everyone else's opinions are subjective and yours is objective.

I guess the term "subjective" didn't portray exactly what I was getting at.  Yes, I believe that my religion is the one true religion for everyone.  But other people who believe their religion is the one true religion probably believe that their religion is also the one true religion for everyone.  I guess the message I was trying to get across is that arguing about which really is the "one true church" is fruitless and not the point of my post.

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, aka, a Mormon.

We sometimes get a bad rap for blindly following and, growing up, I did simply follow what my parents believed.  I saw how my parents lived their lives, I saw that my parents were good people and followed the doctrines and values that I was being taught as a child.  Even when I was young this was important to me, I've never understood people who say one thing a do another.  My parents, and the other LDS (Latter-Day Saint, aka Mormon) adults that I were around lived what they believed.

As I've grown up, I'm almost 26, I've come to an understanding of my own; I no longer rely on the beliefs and testimonies of my parents.  I've studied my religion (though there is always more to learn), I've lived my religion (including repentance, no one is perfect), and I know of its truth. 

Sure, most of my family follows the same religion I do but we have each used our agency to choose for ourselves that this is what we believe and this is what we want to follow.

For me, there was no sudden 'Aha' moment; it came slowly and softly and the reasoning behind my faith is nearly impossible to explain.  It is a feeling of peace and a feeling of love that brings me to know that Christ lived and that He died for the sins of the world.  It is a feeling of sorrow that my actions in this life were part of the cause for His pain before and during His death.  It is a feeling of gratitude that He did for me (and everyone else in this world) what I couldn't do for myself.  It is a feeling that resides within me that is so strong I can not, and wouldn't dare to, deny it.