Posts by aschraed

Original Post by jdunckel:

Question about how you parent. Does your son get treated any different then the rest of the children.  Do you tell him you love him?  Do you spend equal time with all the children?  Is it possible he feels leftout of family activities?  I ask this because it sounds like he is doing this for attention or possibly hes testing the waters trying to get a reaction out of you and your husband.

 He gets more because he is the proverbial "squeeky wheel"  I even tuck this kid in at night.  I drive him to school. If anything, he tries to get away.  I take him to his appointments.  I asked if he wanted to go out on a "date" night.  He tells me to go to "Hell-o kitty"  I don't think that would be it.  He just wants me not to interfere.

It is federal law (in America) that if you are in a restaurant the staff cannot discriminate or tell you to go to the bathroom.  I breast fed all of my children.  People are ignorant.  If someone says something to me I show em the full monty.  I do NOT care.  These puppies are loaded!

People need to remember (and it sounds like it needs some reminding) these things contain projectile milk.  I have good aim.  Keep it up - try me!!!!

If they try to say somethign about germs and contamination I remind them I wouldn't feed that to my baby! and the food they give me contains more germs.  So that usually shuts them up.  But I am a little mouthy at times.  But it's been a while.

Also had the cute apron with "Oh lala" on it and a woman's figure on it.  I just love this apron.  I had to turn it "inside out" to just the white part showing.  Kind of funny that we could still see the woman's body (in a french maid costume) painted on the apron.  Yea real colonial.

Today felt a little better.  I talked to a friend who also is in pharmacology/toxicology and she said it would be around 2 weeks are thereabouts for it to completely work out of my system.

I was still a little grouchy/depressed.  I got my feathers ruffled by my teen.  I guess he has to test his limits.  Plus I have been more demanding in that I was demanding people be respectful and not expect me to just do for them. 

Your doc lied...  (perhaps unintentionally).  I have been taking it for 6 months.  When you stop taking it, you feel sluggish.  Some reports where people have "flu like" symptoms of nausea and vomiting.  Me, I am just tired and depressed.  I had tried to quit taking it a month ago.  I started getting agitated fairly easy.  It gives me the energy. 

Yes I lost weight, but after a time your body will build tolerance and you will requte a higher dose.  I have lost a total of 40 lbs.   Apparently, it's an amphetamine.  It works on a part of your brain that changes the chemistry in your brain. 

I read it's better to weigh more and be heatlhy than to be unhealthy and skinny.  Keep taking care of yourself.  It's super hard to feel motivated but don't just base your results on your size.

You may not be eating enough or you may be eating hidden calories somewhere.  Also keep in mind that muscle weighs more than fat.

Keeping an active log of your food intake, how much you eat, etc will also be a integral part of meeting your weight loss goals.  Eating foods rich in vitamins and minerals will help with your goals. 

Good luck!

Original Post by enchantingimage:

Emotional intelligence is essential to an adult's ability to act maturely. It's important to prepare your approach/reactions in a rational/logical manner. Relationships evolve/morph into different types with age. I think you should talk to your husband about good parenting. His daughter is trying to control the situation out of frustration. He needs to ' help her' by showing her some tough love.  In putting up an emotional barrier until he can rationalize circumstances change. People change. His role to other people also changes as they change into adults. His relationship  should have matured with his daughter a long time ago. Even under extreme stress/pressure/frustration we have to act with intelligence... not just emotion. It's human nature for our emotions to get the better of us sometimes. The reason she's so good at pressing daddy's buttons is because she installed them.  The forgive me/excuse me/tolerate me button needs to go bye-bye. Tell him to take the logical approach and remove them now. For her own good and for the sake of your marriage. He needs to take a giant step back so he can rebuild his relationships  with his daughter. She's been given into one too many times for her own good.My husbands/daughters relationship with my inlaws doesn't have anything to do with me. That doesn't mean that I will tolerate unacceptable behavior though. I refuse. I have no problem calling the police/having them arrested... Under circumstances that call for me to do so... I consider you overly kind/passive in your approach to the circumstances. There is no reason you shouldn't have had her arrested,imho.I would've. Regardless of whether or not my hubby liked it. I  just wouldn't have remained his wife after the fact. That is if he decided to make it an issue between us. The lack of support/respect he's showing to you isn't acceptable to me.

 I did dial 911.  I could not get through - I was in a small, Texas town.  I had to leave because she was irrational and I was so angry I was not able to be calm.  It got heated and the only person I could control was myself and remove the kids from what was going on.  I also had her 17 year old brother just crying because he lives with her and he felt scared and abandoned. He is her advocate.  She teaches him how to manipulate. Dad is aware. It hurts. 

Dad realized he messed up.  He is a push over. He told her that he was cutting her off. He also told his mother the next morning he could not keep supporting her.  Also, he is hiring an attorney to evict her.  He keeps trying to get the daughter to help him.  The MIL told DH not to cut her off. My husband told MIL that MIL could pay a couple of thousand dollars to her every month and have her spit in her face.  So I guess the in-laws gave her money.  Which is good.  I don't think it will continue, but fine.

I am willing to accept what role I played.  I was already upset and venting to my husband. She came into our room, without knocking, looking for a fight. I was trying to calm down. I didn't go directly to her. I was sitting on the bed.  I continued to do so.  She walked up to me.  I was trying to get the facts but was also upset.  My husband and I don't usually have fights, my voice was excited but I was not yelling at him.   He understood that and we were talking it out.   He is very quiet. 

I wish law enforcement had answered.  I thought about that this morning. I used to feel bad for her situation. It is my assertion that she is deceitful and she was say and do anything to get her way.  I feel bad for homeless people too. But I don't go buy them a condo.  They just have to "figure it out" like everyone else.  I seriously thought about taking my husband to a random street corner and just hand the guy holding the sign a $1000.  What's the difference?  Not much... Except this guy would not likely spit in our face (metaphoric or literal).  And he'd probably be far more appreciative.

I just don't trust this gal (23 year old).  I also told my husband that I am going to take care of me first now. I did put 50K in my bank personal bank account.  I did tell him that his word means nothing as he seems to keep going back on it.  I also told him that his actions are what will speak to me.  I also said I don't need things to make me happy and that if he chose to remain "married" to his daughter that was fine. She would stick with him until the money ran out.  

He says he feels like he's abandoning his kid and that this is hard for him.  I can relate, but I don't see how he's abandoning her.  She is being allowed to be an adult. I can't see him doing that. He speaks softly to her.  He is an advocate with her to the best of his ability.  I stayed with my parents for a couple of days.  I needed to get away. My parents think he's great. They like him. He is genuine. I would never stop loving him. He is trying to take action.  He warned the daughter that she needs to move all of her bills out of their joint account because he wasn't putting money in.  I do have access to the account.  He saw that I took a large sum of money and he agreed and was scared at first but realized that he helped to create insecurity.  He has been in agony.  He doesn't respond to her when she says ugly things about me.  He reassures me that he is placing me first.    

Another thought on my mind is her baby.  I know it's tough being a parent, especially a single parent.  She has been going through a long drawn out battle with the baby's dad and dad's mother.  I kept hearing how this guy was violent.  But what I saw was she was also violent. I heard these horrible things about him and believed her.  Her lies are venomous and I am also worried about the baby.  The baby is precious.  I am saddened that we don't/aren't able to spend more time with her.  The 23 year old does lack maturity, but she has not really had much opportunity to practice. She lives in a  fantasy world.  It's hard to tell truth from fiction with her.  She does not have a job, yet she cannot get on food stamps and her baby does not qualify for medicaid.  She says she is too proud and besides no one will talk to her. 

Yesterday my husband was at the pharmacy and he saw this CHIPS insurance, where the parents pay for it.  She told him she did not qualify for even that.  I worked in social services so  I know far better. Even with her assets she could have gotten at least that.  . I believe her to lie.  He started to grab it.  I told him and I hope it sunk in "She is a grown up.  She needs to be in charge of her life and hasn't asked you about your opinion. Stop trying to assert it."  If she wants to pay for private insurance, she will.  If she wants to pay all the private agencies, she will. 

Another thing "no" in and of itself is a complete answer.  Except to me...(okay that was a joke)...

I have to admit here that I aside from all of this. I did do a little revenge spending.  I went and bought a Blackberry. I rarely get anything from myself.  It was a used phone I had and the lady at the cell phone company wondered how long it had been since I got a new phone (it was one of those old chunky phones that might have been cool 10 years ago).  So if I have these choppy messages, it means I am working off the Blackberry.  I have been having a great time playing with my new phone.  I also took my mom out to dinner with the two younger boys (6 and 3).  The other kids were off playing with others so they did not get to go.  My dad was playing poker.   Kind of sad because it was his Father's Day dinner.  But my mom and I enjoyed it for him.  I guess lack of planning on my part doesn't constitute emergency on his.  These are good peeps (my parents).  But alas me and my mom and the two little boys did go to the Japanese Steak House and we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly.  The little boys were impressed with the chef's skill of paying with fire and knives.  I thought perhaps they might have been jealous, but they loved watching him.  My three year old was a hoot as he kept saying he wanted to be a Japanese chef.  The chef couldn't keep from laughing.  They kept telling him not to play with fire.  Kids are so concrete in their thinking at that age.  But it was fun to watch them and the chef. I did get the lobster Tandori ($50).  I ate all of 5 bites and said I was full. Which I was.  I also ordered a couple of appetizers because my mom only ordered a salad.  She has Alzheimer's so it's hard to tell if she's just not hungry or she's not sure what to get.  The boys never had calamari - which I think for good reason... they liked it.  They also had plenty to gnosh on later.  It was a treat for them as well.  They even drank root beer from the bottle!

To make the dinner part up to my dad - my mom and I went to Cheesecake Factory.  We bought two pieces of cheese cake.  Hence we were to full to sample each, but we took two small bites, had them in a doggie bag to let my dad have them.  We ran into some old friends while we were out.  I was happy to see them.  These, ironically, are also people I would go to in times of crisis.  I had already called one of them.  The other was out with her grandkids.  So we didn't have much time to chat.

The little boys spent some time that night with a relative.  I spent some time resting and taking it easy. I thought about going to the spa to get some work done.  Since I'm on a roll, right?  But it was late in the day.  I was too tired.  My mom was getting tired.  We went home and just sat quiet.

My husband and I had a long talk about this last night.  We set some boundaries to paper and signed them.  I am going to take care of me first.

Today we get this email and she makes up all these thing I allegedly did to her to justify her actions.  IDK what she is talking about.   I asked my husband about them. She said she tried to talk to me.  Which she never has. We spent some time together - not a whole lot. She never mentioned anything she was upset with me about.

I did end up ordering online where I can go get my photos. I was seriously perturbed. I did say something about putting limits on people so that others could use the machines as well.  I was wrapped up in the principle.

I am so in the same boat with you. I have put two posts because I couldn't even walk on mine.  I am starting to. I got a brace which seemed to help. I don't know what the weather is like where you are at but I live in a very warm climate (Texas) so swimming does wonders for me. So if you can get some swimming in.  My dad recommends running in the water.  I have 2 small kids, which also love to go.

I miss my walking. If I want a good work out, I can just either do laps, play with them or tread water to keep weight off.  I miss my morning walks and can't wait until I can do it again. Feel better soon! Also you might want to find that ankle brace. I don't know if a drug store would carry those. I had the ace bandage as well which it did okay but I was still worried about my ankle rolling and causing more injury.

Feel better soon!

I was thinking the same thing this morning. I simply don't want to eat. I mean you said exactly what I was thinking. If there's nothing that has real nutritive value I don't want it.  I wanted to make your post but you did it for me.  I have been skipping meals and I too have recently gotten in the habit of forgetting to eat. My DH and mom used to say the same things and I would wonder if they were crazy and practically force them to eat. Now I am the one forgetting. I hate cooking meals because they expect me to eat too. I put less on my plate because I just dont want to eat. I want to other things.  I guess it's habit after awhile. I will be checking back to see what others say.

I never knew if this was an efficient way to remove fat from meat or not. I knew you could get some of it off.  I am learning a lot from all the posts here.  It sounds yucky but I specifically meant meat crumbles. I dont think that patties would be a good thing to rinse off.  I did end up using crumbles and adding seasoning and it tasted just fine.  I just didn't want to consume a whole bunch of fat if I could have avoided it. That's why I love it here.

Seriously, I thought this was my son posting this. He's the same age and he eats like it's going out of style or like there's no tomorrow. But man oh man! I get so mad because I have started to bring more healthful food into the house and he eats it. I think that's normal for teenagers. I don't think he has an eating disorder. He just has to eat. He will usually eat 3 helpings at dinner. Then an hour later come back for the remainder of the meal then get what else he can find without havng to cook.

Oh and one more thing on your second question here are some ideas since you are a trucker because I used to be a fast food junkie and I am always on the go (i have a bunch of kids).

I went to a dietician as well...

Complex carbs include (but not all)

whole wheat (get the label that 100% whole wheat) it has to say this rather than just wheat bread, pasta, or tortillas, according to the dietician.

Vegetables

Potatoes (most people see this as a veggie, but it's really a starch).

Your body recogized and breaks down three things:

Fat, carbs (simple and complex), and protein.

Carbs

Veggies, breads, pasta, starch, rice etc.

An all protein breakfast is fine. It actually will pervent hunger but your stomach will break down protein faster than it will veggies. What (I think Jane) is trying to say is that if you eat carbs (like that thing you eat after work out) you should eat "better" carbs that make you feel full longer and that won't cause your body to have higher insulin spikes.  Also you need to be using those carbs early on in the day, therefore you should eat them sooner. They are your body's most immediate source of energy. Then once thats gone, you burn fat (a more efficient form of energy).

When you read the food labels look for things with less sugar in them (as far as carbs go).  Sugars are simple and cause that insulin spike which is just plain old bad for you. Simple sugars, like in sodas, have empty calories and can actually store on your body as fat if you eat more than you need and can actually make you feel hungry even like you're starving the reason is because you are. Empty calories means there in little to no nutritive value in your food.  Look for foods with a higher fiber content on the label.

Complex carb ideas for on the road:

Cherry tomatoes, cucumber slices, whole wheat bread, baby carrots, celery(maybe with all natural peanut butter on it), raisins, orange slices...it sounds like rabbit food but eventually you will start craving this stuff (it sounds insane but remember that habit thing). You actually will start craving what your body becomes used to.  Salads. Avoid high fat foods at fast food restaurants. You may want to read up on what to look for.  Beware: Salads at fast food joints are loaded with latent fat and calories. Many times they add dressings and toppings that have high fat. A lot of people think they are doing great by ordering the "Asian Salad" and don't realize the "extras" easily add up 1000 cals and over 50 fat grams.

Proteins :

Eggs, meat, nuts, cheese, beans etc.

Look for leaner meats (chicken breast, fish, low fat cheese).

Ideas for on the road:

string cheese, precooked chicken breast - lunch meat, nuts, boiled eggs

Protein helps your muscles funtion.

Fats

2 kinds: good and bad

Good examples: olive oil, avacado, nuts

Bad: margarine, trans fat.

I mentioned peanut butter earlier. In all natural peanut butter the oils are not emulsified (broken down into smaller fatty acid chains). The oil sits on top in natural peanut butter because it isn't broken down. This costs a bit more, but if you can (and like it) I recommend it. But do pay attention to the serving size.

The dietician gave me a simple rule as far as fats go 3 grams of fat per 100 calories.

Ideas for on the road snacking:

nuts, peanut butter, oils added to salad dressing.

I recommend (if it's possible) getting most of your food from the market, versus allowing someone else to make it and have in a cooler.  Look online for recipes that you like that are easy to make that you like. Pay special attention to the ingredients. See what you can do to make them healthier (i.e. whole wheat bread instead of bleached flour). White flour, pretzels, and other snacks are usually empty calories. When you eat, make sure you make your calories count nutritive wise. I find myself spending more time in the fruit and veggie section than the snack section (as I was before).  Our store also has a health food section where you can buy in bulk. So I like to go see what snacks are wholesome I can try.  I also keep soups with the pop top lid that are okay for those times when I am in a bind. I try to avoid as much as possible (and it can be difficult) restaurants now. If you cannot avoid restaurants, try to plan which ones you can stop at that offer you better food choices and don't add a lot of the extras. Most chain restaurants will provide thier nutritive content online to help you make a better decision. Look for (and write them down) which restaurant will offer you what. Write down a couple of ideas that are workable for you.

Also, if you can't log what you eat right away, write it down and how much you ate.