Posts by soulmaiden

I am weight-restored (for the most part) from my anorexia and I am starting to recover mentally.  I am now 111-115 pounds, way up from that sad weight of 83 pounds.  When I was in recovery, originally I focused so hard on 'sticking to the meal plan' and eating only 'healthy' foods.  Then when my dad was in surgery, something just snapped.

I ate what I wanted, and everything I wanted.  I scarfed down boxes of poptarts, ate jars of pb and nutella and gone on crazy binges where I eat until I feel like I'm going to puke or explode.

This is normal, believe it or not.  The body is very smart and it knows what it wants.  Just trust your body and stick to your MP - get some help though, I still struggle with some overeating and restriction tendencies.  I have my parents lock up the snack cabinet and be around when I have my meals and snacks.

Yes, I have still had slip ups and restricted and binged, but the weight you are gaining is NEEDED weight.  I still have trouble understanding that if I stay at a low weight I WILL DIE.  I can help distract you from binges or give you tips, but just remember, right now this is weight you need to gain, so just keep on following the meal plan, even if you binge a little bit.

I now have medical problems from my disorder - osteopenia, a low low heart rate of 45, lanugo, all that "great" stuff, gee thanks eating disorder. 

Today is binge-free day #1 (again) for me too.  Yesterday I lost control a bit.  Today I am not restricting myself and got back on the horse with healthy meals and snacks.  I've allowed myself a frosted sugar cookie for a treat, so I'm hoping that it will control my cravings later tonight.

I'm sorry to those of you who had some binge-bug attacks lately as well, but I'm glad to see you guys are getting back on track right away.  I realize that its important to forgive myself and move on and its always really encouraging to see others do the same.

Yesterday I wasn't out of control, so I don't feel like I binged, but looking back on everything I ate, and the way I ate it, it probably was a binge.

Day 1 starts again today, so far so good.  I've had a hearty breakfast, a good lunch and decent snacks so far.  Now I just have to get through my biggest trigger time at night.  It won't be easy considering there is so much junk in the house, but I think I have the willpower.  I can do this!

- a healthy relationship with food (food is not the enemy)

- a healthy relationship with my body and accept my shape

- I want my curves back!  My chest is as flat as a board and my butt might as well be non-existant!

- I want to be able to feel strong when I exercise again

- Fit into a normal size clothing and not just 1s and 0s

- Stop getting 'oh gosh your so skinny' or 'she's anorexic, she doesn't eat' comments all the time

- I want the only stares I get to be when I want to be noticed for doing something weird, not just because of the way I look

- I don't want all these medical problems, so a healthy body I guess, and not only that, but I need my period back, I may want to have kids some day too

I had a bit of a binge episode today, but it wasn't too bad.  I grabbed two bags of trail mix and ate a ton of dried fruit and chocolate, but not the entire bag.  I at least was able to stop myself before consuming the entire things.

I'm trying to get back to basics and ENJOY food, make friends with food again, essentially.

I've taken some steps to help me out, I've picked out snacks and pre-plan meals and such so that I stay full, and if I feel triggered to binge, I'm trying to come up with 'safety plans'.  Here are some really filling snacks that stomp out my cravings:

• Four small graham cracker squares with pb or chocolate frosting
• Some whole-wheat crackers and a string cheese
• An apple or banana with a glass of milk
• Small handful of nuts
• Cottage cheese with some fruit

Also, I find that if I feel really anxious or just got in a fight with someone, that those are the times I tend to just freak out on food, so I'm going to try journaling instead.  Talking to others or even messaging people on here I hope will help me in the future afterschool when my binges tend to strike >.<

gi-jane pretty much hit the nail right on the head.

Soups, chili, meatloaf, ground beef and mashed potato casserole, baked chicken, grilled cheese... ooh and fajitas yum

Original Post by jessikkaa_x3:

this is my day #1 tooo =)

i was annorexic, and then developed a binge disorder. im currently 5'5" and about 101. im trying to just gain muscle now since ive gained enough back in fat *my lowest was 82lb*

wish mee luckk! and the same to everyone else trying. but i definately agree that we should keep eachother posted. like if we need help just come here and post. anyone have aim? 

I have AIM, I am spacebunni3  bleh >.< I was how young when I picked that stupid name?  hah hah

Cool!  This is the start of day #2 for me, and I already set some goals -

• Eat when I'm hungry
• Have pre-portioned snacks
• No poptarts in the house, again, ever >.<
• Enjoy my food, eat slowly
• Ask for help if I get a binge urge
• Kitchen's closed rule after meals and snacks

Looking forward to today!  Its going to be good!

I've had three really bad episodes of binging as of late, one of them I can only remember calorie-content on:

1.  In addition to a healthy breakfast, lunch, dinner and two snacks, I had 1/2 of mixed nuts (500-600 cals), 10-12 tbsp peanut butter, 2 bags of m&ms, a heck of a lot of grapes, two fig newtons, a loaf of homemade banana bread, 1/2 a bagel with honey, and a banana.

2.  Had good breakfast of cereal, milk, cottage cheese and a banana.  Then, had three nature valley yogurt bars (420), two powerbars (500), two nut bars (420), six fig newtons (330) and an apple (90).  Stupid bars...

3.  This was really bad, it was after a healthy breakfast, lunch and mid-morning snack.  I started out healthy with strawberries (55), a tub of cottage cheese (440), grapes (250-260), four poptarts (840), fig newtons (550), two yogurt bars (280), two mini-bags of m&ms (180), a chocolate covered banana (130), 1/2 of banana (55), handful of mixed nuts (150-170), two nectarines (120), a box of fruit loops (600?), blueberry muffin (170) and a reeses big cup (210).  Around 4000 calories in one sitting >_< uggg

I know how frustrating it is when I binge and others don't know what to do or say 'at least it was all healthy food right'.

Sure but that doesn't help the stomach ache.  Don't worry about those four pounds.  A lot of it is water retention and weight from the food.  After I binged, my weight shot up about four pounds too, but after two days it was only up a pound from what I originally was.  Just forgive yourself and find out what caused the binge and how you can stop it next time.

If your restricting too much, eat more, obviously, and make sure when you snack and eat your meals to get adequate protein and fats in with your carbs.  If you must have a snack or an extra treat, make sure its not just carbs, and that its fat and protein too, it helps with satiety.  Pre-portion your cereal in baggies too maybe?  Or buy the smaller snack boxes of cereal so they are pre-portioned for you?

Hope that helps, good luck and if you ever get an urge, message me on here or busy your hands with something else, call someone, anything.

What do you like to do?

Draw, write a story, call a friend, come online and message people on CC, read a book, get out of the kitchen and do something productive in your room, watch a movie, do homework, watch television.

Hope some of those help, I have the same problem and unless I occupy myself afterschool I binge, then exercise >.< but I'm learning to break the habit.  Slowly.

Original Post by avl:

Ok so I am here to update how my day has been so far. So far so good.

But I just got home from work and obviously I went straight to the kitchen. I started eating some grapes and then I saw the jar of jam in the fridge. I scooped out a big chunk of strawberry using my finger (I know it sounds gross). Then I stopped myself realizing what I was doing. I don't want to do this anymore. So I left the kitchen and went dowstairs to write to you guys in order to prevent another binge.

I haven't had dinner yet. I will do some of my marking (I'm a teacher) until it's time to eat and I will continue to work after dinner and stay out of the kitchen.

paulamcd: I have also found that ever since I've started to work out more I eat and binge more. I've tried cutting back on my exercise but it doesn't seem to help with my binges. I think that it has just become a bad habit that I need to break.

I'll report on the rest of my evening later. I am crossing my fingers for a successful night!

Congrats!  It sounds like you are doing really well for today.  I also have taken steps to prevent binging by snacking periodically and avoiding the kitchen completely since I have gotten home.  I hope dinner goes well and expecially after.  I'll check in later.  and I'm anxious to hear how you'll do - great I'm sure ^^

Original Post by baby_doll_121:

Oh man all these recipes are awesome.. I have been doing the apple, and cinnamon thing in the microwave, but I put a little  bit of brown sugar on it.. I use this brown sugar made from splenda that is only half the sugar. Tastes like apple pie.. and adding granola makes it that much better.

 

The peach dessert sounds really good too.

 

I also love to make fat free chocolate pudding and dip fruit into it.

I am in love with the caramel de luche (sp?) jello pudding cups!  They are delicious and only 60 calories!  I love to stick them in the freezer for a few minutes before hand, makes them so tasty, especially with fruit.

I would recommend trying frozen dinners or pre-cooked meals in a bag.  In fact, we bought a fantastic shrimp stirfry which came in a bag, sauteed that up, and made some Minute Rice to go with it.  We even added in some canned veggies and it was a great meal!

If you like the atmosphere and 'fun' kind of feeling from eating out, why not use some fancy dishware, get out some nice glasses, dim the lights and turn your dining room into a restaurant!  I love doing this with my family.