Posts by mir730

Forum	Topic	Date	Replies

Health & Support	Parents and family members of children with autism	Mar 25 2008 15:34 (UTC)	13
Thats funny how you at first found a reason not to care for yourself, because of having a child under the spectrum. Because that was MY reason for putting on back all of those lbs that I worked so hard to work off from a few years ago. Thats amazing you had a mind shift, I am wondering, what changed your way of thinking? My son has pddnos and is doing very well as he is in therapy and has been for a year. We hope to mainstream him by the time he is in grade 1, he just turned 4 a few days ago. It's very hard and challenging... I admit my biggest worry is that my son wouldn't be independent but I have been reassured since he is getting help now, he will be. But either way, in order for that also to happen I have to be healthy too. Thanks for posting this thread.
Health & Support	Ambien and hunger?	Mar 24 2008 19:34 (UTC)	7
I am on a drug called Imovane which is the Canadian version.. of not sure if its Ambien but I think Lunesta but it hasn't done anything to my appetite that I can think of. One thing to stay away from is the natural herb kava kava, that will make your appetite sky rocket.
Health & Support	Has anyone recovered from binge eating??	Mar 24 2008 19:30 (UTC)
I hear you, I definitely do. I am far from overcoming my binge eating but I have gotten so much better. It's not something that will disappear overnight and the fact that you are aware that you have this disorder is a good thing, because you are aware. I too, do NOT want therapy. I too, binge eat when stressed, depressed, etc. I have had to do my own self examination and find out WHY I binge eat. I am finding some answers.. like for instance I was never a chubby child, never skinny but was not that chubby child until I hit puberty. I figured I just gained weight due to puberty but deep down I found comfort in food because I was rejected by my peers and it hurt more than I can explain. We binge or develop other EDs because we are trying to cover feelings we don't want to face and yes they are ugly. And therefore we use other ways of coping that are not good. But I have to say since I RARELY eat refined sugar now (which was hell to break from), I just never really want it. I really don't eat too badly overall, I never hit the drive thrus anymore, I actually usually eat well. I never binge on cookies or chips anymore!! BUT.. I am still a long way off, even though I have been able to stop binging on those foods, my portion sizes are way too big still, even though my choices are usually better. I still am a member of the clean plate club but.. have I improved say from like 6 months ago? For sure. The only thing that will work for you is to figure out why on your own why you are binging. The answers that you may come up with could be very ugly and uncomfortable but its better to know now before something worse happens. Best of luck to you.
Health & Support	signs of starvation mode	Mar 24 2008 19:20 (UTC)	3
What the others said is exactly it. Starvation mode is when your metabolism is so slowed down to the point that it begins to hold onto every calorie that you consume for dear life "thinking" that it must store it since the body hasn't had enough calories. If you for instance all of a sudden go on a 500 calorie diet its going to defeat the purpose because if you end up eating more than that you will gain. Like the above said if a woman is active and trying to lose weight, she should not consume less than 1200 (depending on her weight that is). Usually 1400-1600 is the safest caloric value to consume to lose weight safely. It depends really on the height and muscle mass to calculate the right amount of calories for you to lose weight and to not go into starvation mode. A dietician can help you with that.
Motivation	currant, heaviest and lowest weight	Sep 21 2007 14:37 (UTC)	139
Well when I joined Jenny Craig a few years ago I was horrified to see that I was almost at 221lbs! But I lost a lot of it fairly quickly, I went down to 166 and wanted to lose roughly another 20 lbs. But unfortunately stressful triggers came into play, really horrible things happened and the fact that I was plateuing didn't help matters. I ended up sadly gaining back it, almost anyway, I went back up to 207 but now right around 200. I still feel like a fat disgusting pig, especially for letting things get to me like they did :( And this is what I did to myself as a result.
Motivation	Help!!I need motivation to lose the weight.	Sep 05 2007 19:25 (UTC)	1
I was in a similar situation, I hated, HATED how I looked but at the same time could not be bothered with caring for myself. I also made the mistake (and still do) by focusing on those who dislike me instead on focusing on those who do like me and what I could improve about myself. But the reality of it is, in my case I have a family to care for and not only do I need to be a better role model but I need to be there for them. I want to see my kids grow up, so I either keep eating to hide from things and end up morbidly obese and ill from being overweight and living a short unhappy life... or finally shape up. I am still in the process of "shaping up" since its probably really going to take me a lifetime really do that.. but one thing that I am starting to get a handle on is.. how to not let stress push me into comfort eating and to find other ways to relieve stress like blogging, and even walking helps... but I sure understand where you are coming from.. I still hate the way I look but I also know since I am not letting food be a crutch, the way I look is temporary.... oh and other than the odd potato here and there, if its white, I don't touch it!
Motivation	Help with Stress	Sep 05 2007 19:19 (UTC)	2
I sure sympathize and empathize with you. I always let things get to me. Thats good you want to not fall into comfort eating because after hard work, and money spent, and 55 lbs gone (I still had 20 more to lose), as soon as some horrible stressful things splashed me into the face 60 of those 55lbs lost came back :( I was angry, depressed, bitter, you name it... but I made "food" as a friend and it numbed those feelings. But I do realize that I mishandled my feelings and anger and I am going to try not to make the same mistake, and at the same time I am in the process of dropping those unwanted lbs. Funny, people say that only 10% of circumstaces are what shapes a person, but 90% of it is how one reacts.... I'd say I let things get to me way too much. I don't ever see myself as completely half full but I need to fill up my empty glass just a little. But I do blog, and I don't care how WHINY they are.. I just do it, I even start reading up on books like "Chicken Soup for the Dieter's Soul" is a great one which really I have found to be helpful. But I can't give you other advice because I am still learning... and I sure won't advise anyone to become spiritual because heck.. I am not!!
Motivation	I feel disgusting....	Sep 04 2007 02:58 (UTC)	4
Hi Melissa, glad to have been some help. And yes, I definitely can relate to how it feels by being stabbed in the back from those who you trusted. I sure understand what you mean about "trying to be Switzerland", ugh. I'm sorry you had to endure that. Well firstly, as far as my goals are I not only need to get that 60 lbs off but find a way to KEEP it off. I literally just started LA weight loss but I know from myself that any weight loss program is NOT going to work unless I find the root problem of my eating and I pretty much have... working on it is the bigger challenge. I also need, actually more importantly so I don't slip up again to deal with my feelings better. Believe it or not if you are about to explode, taking a fast walk somewhere to blow some steam helps. It really does. And the problem with me is that I just don't let go of things. I am not forgiving, which I know is bad. But that is just not my nature to be and I know I need to change my attitude about things but I also refuse to "love" those who have even hurt me. I'm sorry but that is just not who I am! Some people have been trying to convince me to be more spiritual in my way of thinking but I am not interested. I am who I am, I need to change, yes.. but I am willing to go so far. But I do know my health is at risk and a family to raise, so I need to be more responsible with my actions. But here is the thing that I have to work on. If you feel you want to binge or something because someone upset you, ask yourself this "who am I hurting, them or me?", if you don't want them to win over you, then that may be enough to stop the binge from happening. I never really saw that until it was pointed out to me that all of these years I was hurting myself in the end. Writing your feelings, blogging sure helps and I have one which is incredibly whiny but I don't care. If it helps, that is all that matters. Do something you enjoy, anything to keep your mind off of binging. We need to basically relearn that we need food for nourishment, not for comfort and its true. We eat to live, not the other way around. Another thing I am considering to do is buying myself a punching bag and imagining its the face of someone who had hurt me from the past and keep giving it a swift kick and punch :) Hmm the more I think about it, the more I like that idea. Gets your frustrations out in a good way, and besides you are burning calories and developing muscle at the same time... and also sparing yourself from some serious charges :)
Motivation	I feel disgusting....	Sep 03 2007 23:11 (UTC)	6
Hi Melissa, I am not sure if any of this makes you feel better but I understand where you are coming from. I initially lost 55lbs out of 75lbs that I wanted to lose from Jenny Craig. I did well, and I figured that another 20lbs would be very slow to come off but it would. But at the same time, my little world that I had created for myself (I was in denial about some things but ironically I focused my life on weight loss and did that well) it crashed with some harsh reality AND so called friends who I have helped out in anyway possible stabbed me horribly in the back.. well I fell into a huge depression, became bitter, resentful, angry, and who did I end up hurting in the end? It was myself because I gained 60 lbs back. I recently discovered that I am a binge-emotional eater and I numbed those feelings by eating. So now I am trying to undo some of that and its very slow... the feelings suck but if I don't allow myself to feel it, or even be angry with whomever had hurt me, it will be worse for me in the long run if I keep "medicating" it with food. I am here if you want to talk.
Motivation	The most motivating thing that happened to you.....	Sep 03 2007 23:06 (UTC)	42
Well this is sad and I am even faling off the wagon but getting back on and did join LA, and lost a little already. But a few weeks ago, we went on a family day trip. We were in a mall and a very obese man was walking by. My 5 year old daughter blurted out "oh man, that guy ate too much!!" Okay I was mortified but I also don't think he heard her and I HOPE not. I told her immediately it was NOT nice to say things like that and to not do that again. I have told her before to not make comments about other people's looks, apparently it can take repitition. But a few days later I thought so much about it. I couldn't help but think "you know what if it was me walking around the mall and some kid said the exact same thing about me". Or worse yet, well there was a time when I lost 55lbs and now I put 60lbs of that on :( The same people I am sure say things "what ashame, how she put that on". But anyway, I think my daughter's comment about that man was an eye opener for me. And I also think more so than that, reading up on so many things and really understanding that binge eating is a lot more than just trying to cover up hurt feelings, anger and sadness. Because that is why I have battled my weight in the first place all of my life and that is also what had caused me to gain all of that lost weight I initially had. Soooo I guess those are my motivators.
Motivation	How can I avoid candy?	Sep 01 2007 17:31 (UTC)	2
Rachel I know how that is. Giving out chips won't do a thing to me but the candies my kids are going to bring home are going to be challenging. Besides my son can't eat sugar of any kind anyway so I think its best for my daughter to choose the ones that she wants and hide it somewhere from me, and give the rest away. Thats the best thing.
Motivation	A motivation mantra	Sep 01 2007 02:56 (UTC)
You know once in a while you DO have to treat yourself as long as its planned. If its a spur of the moment thing and you were not planning to splurge then yes, its good. But sometimes it IS worth it IF you plain for it properly. If you completely deprive yourself then in the long run it will do more harm than good. But moderation is the key, not deprivation. Still, that muffin was not a good choice and certainly not planned but I did okay for the rest of the day so I don't think it made too much of a dent, if it did at all.
Motivation	How can I avoid candy?	Sep 01 2007 02:51 (UTC)	7
Good idea! Try to think of a candy you don't like and replace it with that. See, I don't like plain potato chips. That is why I ALWAYS give small bags of plain potato chips out for Halloween :) It works because I won't touch it.
Motivation	Why are people so mean!?!	Aug 31 2007 19:37 (UTC)	11
I am not proud of it but I will admit it. I have a jealous streak in me but only towards those who have had things just fall into their laps when it was not deserved. Especially when it comes to those who had hurt me in some way. I admit I am a little obsessed with fairness which unfortunately is a waste because very few things in life are fair. However, I am happy for those who get good results or something good from EARNING it. Just remember this, you EARNED your loss and you probably EARNED your promotion. What has she done to deserve any of that? If she doesn't work for it, then she doesn't get! Thats how it should be. Tell her that (in a kind way of course), next time she makes a comment about your loss, just say "I'm sorry this is how you feel but I ahve been working at my weight loss and I am happy to be seeing results. If this is what you want for yourself then you have it within you to do the same"... or something like that.
Motivation	why did I do this?	Aug 31 2007 19:28 (UTC)	2
Yeah its okay, well yes I will definitely plan for "cheat nights" thats for sure. But the thing is I just started watching what I eat... but hey, it's one bad meal and quite harmless compared to what it COULD have been right? I could have chosen a cream filled eclair which... I would think would be worse right? Its okay, I think I burned that muffin off anyway by doing all that laundry I HAD to do today since I had let it build up over the week. The washer and dryer are in the basement and in different rooms. I had to run up and down several times to take the loads (I can't just bring the basket because my back is too sore for that right now) but I had to do it several times.. going up and down the stairs AND taking the laundry and carrying it to the dryer... no wonder I hate doing laundry so much lol. Yeah I was rushed but for now on I'll eat a meal replacement bar if this happens in the future.. which at some point it will.
Motivation	Husband won't support me	Aug 31 2007 17:15 (UTC)	9
Hi there I am glad you shared your story. I think deep down he is afraid of losing "the old you" and MIGHT perhaps be slightly insecure of losing you. This kind of thing is not uncommon and I have heard of the same things from other women in regards to their husbands. He is used to you being 188 lbs and may not want you to be any different, and sometimes we become creatures of habit and don't like change (boy don't I know it) but just keep reassuring him that you are there for him no matter what, and remind him you are doing this for you because you need to feel better. Ask him WHY he doesn't want you to lose weight and lets see what he says. Eventually he'll come around I am sure but just keep reassuring him in the meantime. Not sure what else to suggest. My husband is all for me losing weight, not for image reasons but he doesn't want me diabetic like my father and neither do I. I hope this helps. Mir
Motivation	Re-starting-again	Aug 31 2007 04:10 (UTC)	3
Yes I sure know where you are coming from. I have yo-yoed and its because I never knew of my unhealthy relationship with food until now. I too am sick of being fat and sick of trying too. I need to deal with what causes me to overeat in the first place and its ugly. Good luck to you, I know this wasn't helpful but I just want to say you are so not alone in this.
Motivation	Who else has been fat their whole life?	Aug 31 2007 03:33 (UTC)	1
I have been fat pretty much since I hit puberty which was around age 11. Before that I was always average. Go figure, I was born late.. in fact my mother had to be induced and I only weighed 6lbs and 6oz. Birthweight means NOTHING.
Motivation	food is no comfort	Aug 31 2007 02:52 (UTC)	1
Its all true what you said but tell me, HOW does one find real happiness?
Health & Support	~~Bingers Anonymous~~	Aug 30 2007 02:43 (UTC)	436
Ugh sushi is actually one thing that I tend to binge on. I love sushi and unfortunately I think I'll have to keep away from it for a while because I don't trust myself around it. Six pieces of California roll just won't satisfy me.
Motivation	not doing well :(	Aug 30 2007 02:41 (UTC)	2
Its okay, my mother came over and she watched him and I decided to go out for a swim. Even though my son is very high functioning it is still very difficult. And when you are trying to fight these urges on top of trying to pacify a child that won't want to be pacified, then its definitely time for a "time out". As for reading to him, well I would love to do that but if I read half way through a short book to him, then that is progress. He behaved well tonight though...
Motivation	distressed - beloved dog to put sleep	Aug 30 2007 02:37 (UTC)	7
I'm really sorry to hear this. I know my family has been through it several times and its horrible losing a pet. You must take the time to grieve or else it will get worse in the end.
Motivation	not doing well :(	Aug 29 2007 17:49 (UTC)	5
Well my son has a mild case of autism and the ABA therapist has helped him a lot. Well that would be fine and good except for one thing.. he is 3, and the way he is today I would be lucky to get him to agree to even go to the store with me! He is in a cranky mood and my gosh so am I. It's not like I can just go pick up and go right now... so other suggestions?
Health & Support	~~Bingers Anonymous~~	Aug 29 2007 04:37 (UTC)	438
Wow I can relate to pretty much everything that everyone has written. I never really thought of this but I must be a binger too. I have always struggled with my weight, ALWAYS but it never got so bad until after I had my kids... I did manage to lose 55 lbs with Jenny Craig a few years ago but I was also in denial about my son's autism. I also thought I was becoming spiritual... and that fake life I had created myself did feel good. I ignored the biggest stressors and just pretended they didn't exist so I lost 55lbs out of 75 lbs that I had wanted to lose. But early last year, things crashed and ruined my secure little fabricated world... it was apparent that my son was not developing and it was time to get him assessed, and also at the same time so-called friends who I bent over backwards helping stabbed me in the back!! So what happened? Those 55 lbs that I worked hard at losing came back and then some. I got into a huge depression, and just hated everything, spirituality let me down so I ditched it and ate more, that was my comfort. Do you always look forward to EATING something the next day? Do you think about what you can eat and get excited about it the moment before you go to sleep? Well I know I do but I have to face things or else I'll end up heavier than ever and that is the last thing I want to do. In reality, I have let my past experiences rule me and I know I must let go but am having the worst time with it. I feel like I CANT let go of what people have done to me. But I do know it wasn't them who I had hurt by hanging onto these feelings, it was me all along.. and I know this but not sure if I can ever '"forgive" them for doing this to me. If I was a strong and mature person I would have held my head up high just shrug past torments I have had to endure off and go on with my life but I can't stop reliving the past and this is I am SURE a huge contributor to my problem. I have horrible problems with anger, depression, jealousy and comparing myself to others. I know people think I am a joke and they are right. I am a joke because I keep wanting to deep down hurt myself over and over again and I just subconsciouly want to kill that already severely wounded innner child. And stuffing my face all the time is a good way to do it dont you think? Well just had to share... I guess I am a binger and ever really thought I was... another harsh truth to face... Mir
Health & Support	Help =(	Aug 29 2007 04:12 (UTC)	1
I am sorry to hear about your pain. I can totally empathize with you because I feel like the only real comfort is for my issues is food too. And I am trying to break away from that but at the same time I have no desire to fall back to spirituality. So I better find something else to find comfort in.
Health & Support	My take on the "Binge Eating Disorder"	Aug 29 2007 04:08 (UTC)	4
me too :( I am a slob.... and I let things get to me way too much, thats all there is too it.. but I am glad in your case you have a good explaination, with me I am just pathetic.
The Lounge	worst insult you ever got because of your weight....	Aug 29 2007 02:35 (UTC)	447
Okay kendi, that is just FUNNY.. knocking him down with your clarinet box, that made me laugh.. served him right :) And vivi, well.. that waitress sounds like an idiot that has no idea how to mind her own business. Don't let her ruin you, like everyone else tells me the same thing about people who have hurt me.. she isn't worth it :( And they are right and I am seeing what they mean.
Motivation	oh I need some big time advice	Aug 29 2007 02:27 (UTC)
Well I told my husband tonight FLAT OUT that I am NOT going. I am GOING to be selfish at times, especially when it comes to things like this. See, I have always felt like I had to please everyone and I know in some situations you have to go along with things...but this is NOT an important event and for that I am NOT going. Since I am trying to take control of myself and this is something I am struggling with big time.... this event will do nothing but sabotage my efforts...this is NOT the time for me to bend to the wishes of others. He can just tell everyone there that I am sick, when in reality I hope to be swimming. Oh sorry I forgot to mention its at someone's house and I have been to this person's house before. They don't have ANYTHING low cal at these parties, and I just visualize myself absolutely miserable there (because I have been through this) and wanting to eat all day there. I cannot take that chance so I just won't be there. If I ever get stronger then I might have given in.. but this is not the time to do so... As for those folks who feel they have to brag about their kids, perhaps they are insecure and some of what they say could be fabricated? Either way I don't want to listen to how they are coasting by while we have been struggling with things lately. Anyway I am not going and happy about putting my foot down.
The Lounge	worst insult you ever got because of your weight....	Aug 28 2007 20:55 (UTC)	452
Yeah kids can be cruel but so can adults :(
Motivation	The person we all know, and wish we could be	Aug 28 2007 20:54 (UTC)
Okay I am ashamed to admit this but I am going to be open, and I must be if I need to deal with my issues. I am a horribly jealous person as it is. And I KNOW how horrible it is, but its true. And yes it makes me sick knowing there are people out there who can eat, eat and eat without gaining an ounce while I struggle, struggle and struggle with weight! My husband was more or less like that. He could eat ANYTHING and not gain anything! Oh it really made me sick and it just pissed me off watchign him down a whole pizza and such without gaining anything.. however, his cholestrol is high and his tri-glycerides are high. He may not be gaining weight (he is a tiny bit heavier than he used to be) but he knows its time to eat well for the other reasons.. so I wonder if ANYONE really gets away with eating that way. In fact here is a twist.. my husband said I am lucky for being able to gain weight BECAUSE its a sign that my health could be in jeopardy.... now talk about ironic. But either way, lets smack that girl :)

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