Posts by sabrinamaries

Ericaa,

I'd like to start out with saying I was anorexic/bulimic for about 4 years so I understand how much four pounds can really mean. My big thing was Sunday. I used to be extremely religious (which I'm not that much anymore) and as it was "The Lord's day" and I was technically hurting myself through out the week (very unchristian( I would eat normally and not throw up or starve myself etc.

Then Monday would come... This was the worst day because then you get on the scale...

Here's my advice/challenge- you've already figured out your scale is broken you're going (or have went) to the gym and weighed yourself.... DON'T get on the scale anymore. If you want to recover it's the first step or at least it was mine.  My mother realized I had a problem because of how often I got on the scale. A battery that would last a normal person a year or even longer would last me 6 months. I got on it upwards of twenty times a day... I don't know if you do this or not but I figure if you're anything like what I was you do.

I'd get on wondering I went to the bathroom do I weigh less now? I just ate how much do I weigh? It's been an hour have I gotten any fatter? It was pretty ridiculous- but I was addicted. That scale meant whether or not I ate that week, whether or not I left the house, whether or not I went on a date- the list goes on.

 I understand it's hard and I even understand the suicidal part (I've seen a scale tell me I gained 6 pounds in a day too I ran the battery out lol). I had my moments where I just figured "I'm not beautiful, I'm fat, nobody could love me, I'll never look good, they all talk about me because of how fat I am (I weighed in between 100 and 108 too)I'd rather die then face the mirror etc" I don't know if this is how you feel sometimes but I've been told that this is normal for this type of mind set so I'm thinking you might.

I can't help to much because mine was a long hard road that had a lot of support but all I can say is (you probably know this) throw out your scale (I ripped the wires and threw mine out a window it felt really good) , don't compare yourself to other people, the mirror isn't right believe me you're skinny and lastly a fact-

When you don't eat your body goes into starvation mode, it shuts down you're metabolism slows, it can cause headaches, heart issues, hair loss and if you're persistent enough and do it long enough DEATH. When you eat normally or at all during this (if it is severe enough)  you're body tries to consume and hold all the fat (calories etc) in your body and store it for later when it really needs it. This means your two days make-up for nothing.

If you want to talk let me know. I at least understand where you're coming from.

To anyone reading this- I'm not a professional so if I  stated anything incorrectly etc. please don't hound me for it I'm just trying to help :)