Posts by eringilbert

No, not invisible at all.  It's understood that you're new, it's just that answering the same ol' same ol' gets a bit old after awhile and some of the regulars get a bit frustrated doing so.  It's not you at all, promise. 

Okay... it sounds like you set your goal date really soon for it to be telling you to only eat 1250 per day.  And with a burn meter estimate (moderately active, I assume?) of 2400 you should be eating closer to 1600-1900 per day to lose.  2200-2400 to maintain.  The 1200 cal gig is an absolute mininum for a grown woman that is either super small or in a coma.  I really don't recommend it -- it'll make you hungry.

Basically just look at your burn meter and try to average a 500-700/day deficit or so.  Anything over 1000 is going to be counter-productive.  For example, my burn meter is around 2320 and my average intake is around 1800 with some days around 1300 (not hungry or full on veges for the day) and some days closer to 2000 or so.  It all evens out by the end of the week.  And I haven't lost much on the scale, but I've lost fat  (been working out pretty well and not really worried about the scale so I don't fret over it) that is noticable in the oddest places. 

So eat more, lose more.  Now if I could just convince my mom of this I'd have it made.

Original Post by leslazz:

Lets see, laundry everywhere and I DO mean everywhere-except in the assorted hampers, newspapers all over the table daily, dishes in the sink-not the dishwasher, trash cans overflowing so trash in all over the ground around them, chocolate chip mint ice cream on the white kitchen floor and tiles (who thought to put white tile in a kitchen anyway?), dog hair on all surfaces,TV's blaring 24/7, every light on in the house when he leaves....

<<<takes a deep breath>>>

oh, wait a minute, you said roommates. I was talking about my husband and kids! My bad...

 OMG!  Either my family is 2-timing with you or your family is 2-timing with me!    Add some cat hair in there, dishes in the living room and the basement, and a bathroom that looks like a tornado hit it 5 minutes after being cleaned and you stole the words right out of my mouth ;-)

double post, sorry

Blech to fake foods.

Aspertame give me migraines so that's out from the get-go.  As for the rest of it, if I can't pronounce what's in it, I'm not eating it.  (and considering I've got a pretty good grasp of hooked-on-phonics, that's saying something)

It's great for those who like it, but count me out   I'll take me some real food full of fat and calories and carbs over an unidentifiable lab created concoction any day of the week.

And as long as I keep moving it's okay :-P

Original Post by sashai:

I eat no more than 1000 calories a day.  

 You just answered your own question. 

Your body is hungry.  Your body is not going to let go of its precious stores of fat in anyway shape or form until you feed it and it knows that there will be more coming to keep it running. 

It's really an amazing machine when you think about it.

I don't have your stats, but you should be able to put them in here at CC and it will tell you what your body wants from you.  Set your activity level correctly too and do what it says (most peeps will recommend that you slowly up your intake by 50/100 cals per few days for calorie intake.  Then you will lose weight.

Where are you getting the 31% first of all??

Secondly, you do not need free weights to do strength training.  There are push-ups, ab exercises out the wazoo, chair-ups (sit on a chair, or in my case the couch, brace your hands on the frame or the seat, scoot your butt off until you're holding yourself up and then start with the upsie-downsies), and resistance bands.  Which are cheap.  And pilates... can't forget that (it's kicks my hubby's butt like you wouldn't believe ;-).  And all can be fit in here and there if you don't have a huge block.  Maybe not preferable, but better than nothing.

So my opinion, diet, no.  Increase muscle, yes.

chiming in, repeating exactly what they've said ^^^

Get a couple nice pairs of shoes, some cute capris or new shorts in your new size, a few new tops in your new size (try them on before you leave the store!!!).... and voila, you will no longer look your new size.  And the shoes are super-duper important! 

Trust me.  I've put on that same 30 pounds in the past year that you have.  But I'm more than a body, and it's difficult to avoid life.  So I put away all of my lighter weight clothes (which were making me look 3 times the size I actually was), went and got some more flattering apparel for this new temporary body of mine, the cutest pair of sandals I've ever had, and it's oh-so-much-better.  Even though it REALLY irritated me to have to shop for new clothes :-|  I'm glad I did.

And your friends miss you.  Don't miss out on your summer because of something as silly as a bit of padding ;-) 

And if all else fails, if you run into someone from your "thin days" you can always own it yourself before anyone else has a chance and complain about how the freshman 15 attacked and multiplied and you fully intend on taking it up with your college counselor

In the same boat as many of you.  My husband and I have just never thought anything about finding another person attractive.   We've never looked at it as a good or bad thing, it just is.  I figure he found me attractive so he must have damned good taste, so on that rare occassion where he actually makes a comment I am usually able to see what it is that he's appreciative of.  As to rather or not he eyes them when I'm with him, I don't know.  It's not that he's secretive about it or anything, I've just never thought to look for it so I really just don't know.

Though I still don't understand his draw to Angelina Jolie... I think she's a little on the nutty side personally, which kind of detracts from her attractiveness for me.  Maybe I can just turn his attention to Megan Fox so he can get all the look with a bit less nutty.

He knows I'm appreciative of the male form too... hell, some of them out there you'd have to be dead to not appreciate!  But again, he already knows I have good taste ;-)

On the other hand, if we were out and he was rudely ogling other women and making derrogatory comments (or if I was for that matter) or behaving in some other disrespectful manner or comparing me to other women, I'm afraid we'd have words.  But as it is, we're kind of best friends so who else you gonna discuss this stuff with??

e

THANK YOU rufus_k!!!  I lost over an hour of my life the other day trying to find the video of the Ripley's footage... to no avail.  But yes!  That's the same guy I was thinking of.  After looking at the Mutter thing, he was 29 and suffered from a congenital issue called Hirschsprung's disease.

Kauf, I agree.  Super-duper creepy

um, it's just a hunch, but I have the sneaking suspicion that the OP is currently in her late 30s to early 40s as she talks about weighing more than she did in her 20s and early 30s.

Could be wrong....

Ahhhhh, who am I kidding?  I'm never wrong. 

:::falls off chair laughing manically:::

Original Post by gi-jane:

I tend to operate on the basis that, as an adult, I don't need approval....  Provided I'm not actually harming myself or someone else I don't have to justify myself, engage in debate or rationalise my actions.  If I were you, therefore, I'd quietly get on with the job, lose the 20 or 30lbs and present yourself as a fait accompli. 

And my technique when my mother raises subjects I don't want to talk about.... big smile... offer to put the kettle on. 

 Ditto. 

I do so love it when someone else keeps me from having to do all the typing

You may want to check into that with your insurance co.  Down here, it is covered by multiple companies.  The worst thing they could tell you is "no", and that won't kill you, but there's a chance it is covered so you may also get a yes.

Here are some of the steps we went through with my brother:  Psychologist, weekly therapy sessions; Psychiatrist, drugs (some really skeery drugs); and every day to every other day excursions -- starting at the convenience store and working our way up to walmart on a Saturday afternoon.  Sometimes we wouldn't make it past 5 minutes and he'd want to throw me over his shoulder and run back for the car, but that 5 minutes counted dammit!

Some of the things that definitely worked:  a better diet including more veges/fruits and more protein.  It seemed like when he would eat more home-cooked foods (I mean, hey, we were talking a single guy that was 30/31!  He ate drive-thru a lot!), his entire demeanor changed.  He was able to face life a little better.  But even if it was a homemade meatloaf or cheeseburger, it did him better than fast food. 
Our trips out made him nuts, but they helped him greatly (by the way, he is now back to taking care of his own life and back to working every day -- he will still have an off day, but they are only happen maybe once a month or so).  It definitely helped him to have either me or my dad there with him in the cases that he would kind of freak out by the checkout and not be able to do anything.  We would just take over on that trip and try again the next day... so finding a buddy who will push and protect but not enable can be a good step.  Having an enabler not so good though as you will constantly just let them take over an do it and never make any progress (that was one of the hardest parts for ME to get past as that is exactly what I would do if I hadn't quashed that part of me... I'm a little pushy ;-).

Some things that did not work (for him... everyone's brain is wired differently and everyone will have to find which path works for each individual.  None of this should be construed as telling anyone reading this what will work for you and what won't.):  Paxil:  made him sleep 23 out of 24 hours per day.  He would wake up in places he hadn't fallen asleep.  Klonopin:  actually helped a little, but he'd never take it properly.  Effexor:  oh, dear god.  What a nightmare this one was for him.  Not that Effexor (or any other dual reuptake inhibitor) is bad if you're going to take it correctly and if you never have any intention of ever getting off of it, but I've mentioned his inability to take meds correctly, right?  The Effexor itself really made a difference in him.  Gone was the shaking and the flop sweats when he would be around people (even family members), he would only have to excuse himself a few times in a couple of hours to regain control.  But then, he started waiting too long to take the next dose which would send him into immediate withdrawl.  That knocked him on his butt so bad that my parents and I tag-teamed on stopping by to basically force feed him his pills on time.  Then he decided that this just wasn't worth it to him and he proceeded on a (at least) 2 month withdrawl journey from the Effexor, and to this day if he gets really stressed out it will lay him up with the brain zaps (it's been a year and a half since the worst of the withdrawl if that helps with the timeline)

Finally, in the end, it was like someone just kind of flipped a switch (this was back in Sept. or so) -- the way he explained it was that "there were just some things in my life that I had to get past and let go of."  I'm still not sure what happened there, but he's okay and happy and my old brother now so I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth.  We (my family and I) still watch for signs and will check with him when we see them, but so far so good.

Okay, now the story of the 5HTP.  5HTP is an amazing little OTC supplement (again, check with your Dr.  this does not work for everyone, and it WILL interfere with some meds... as with any other "natural" supplement it is still a drug, please treat it as such -- and I'm not a Dr.) that is simply an amino acid.   And I have a few people stories on this one, not just the brother.  Starting with the brother though, when I could get him to take it, he was fine.  Just everyday brother.  No noticable issues.  But he'd had such a bad experience with the Effexor that there was not getting him to take pills anymore.  To this day I don't even think he'll take an ibuprofen for a headache. Soooooooo... moving on.

There was a certain brand (200mg time-released formula) that I'd been looking for and it was only sold at 2 stores in town, and at the time thought it was only at one.  See, my mom and I were still (at that time) desperately trying to find anything that would help him and came across the 5HTP thing.... and it was a toss-up between that and the Sam-E, the the 5htp looked like a better fit and with fewer side-effects than the other.  So, I go to the one store where I knew it was and asked the guy working where it was.... at which point he tells me his story and that he takes it.  So I listened.  I was desperate for information (as I'm sure many of you are that are still reading this long-*$$ed post) and would listen to a rabid dog on the street if I thought it could tell me something new and useful.  HE suffered from social anxiety and depression.  HE had gone through effexor.  HE had been hospitalized for a suicide attempt.  And here he was 2 months later working in a very public position, talking to ME.  And besides the inabilty to hold permanent eye contact that day, he looked like he was doing pretty well.  Now, mind you, I just told him I wanted the stuff for my brother that suffered from social anxiety, I didn't tell him the rest of the story until he'd already fessed up on his.  And it wasn't like he was going to make a commission on the bottle of $24.99 pills ;-)  Went into that same store last week for something else and now you'd never know that there had been anything in his past to suggest that he'd EVER suffered from any anxiety at all.  I was very happy for him.

Okay, now, onto my bestest girlfriend.  Another one that had been on multiple anti-depressants, anxiety meds, the works.  Some of them made her WAY worse, particularly the last one, which made her a bit on the homicidal/suicidal side.  So when I found out about the 5htp, I told her about it and she agreed to be a guinea pig.  She now refuses to be without it, EVER.  And she definitely goes shopping at Walmart on Saturday afternoons and it doesn't freak her out.  Hell, Walmart at 8 a.m. on a Tuesday used to send her screaming for the doors.  Now she just goes on about her day and can tell if she's accidently missed a couple days of the pills.  If she doesn't recognize it immediately, I do and ask because her entire demeanor changes towards herself and her family.

And now for me and my hubby.  They make my husband a nicer person, particularly with the kids.  He's not a patient man by nature (not a bad man or violent at all, just snippy and doesn't understand kids), but with the bi-polar disorders that run in his family, I figured it wouldn't hurt to try.  And there is a definite difference.  It makes me like him more because I'm not having to constantly be on the defense between him and the kidlets.  Then there was the day that I was PMSing *really* bad.  I could feel the rage building up  because everytime I went to move, there he was, in my way again.  I eyed the bottle and finally figured if it made him nicer, it may make me nicer too.  Within half an hour, he was still in my way, but he was no longer going to die for it :-P

It seems like, for me, if I keep my diet straightened around and get all the proteins and nutrients I need, I don't get PMS ragey but every 3 months or so, but it's nice to have back-up supplementation if needed.  For the other loved-ones in my life this has become a life-alterer/sanity saver, and thus far no one has suffered any ill effects.

All I can recommend is to do your research, talk to someone that will *listen*, find what works the best for YOU.  My brother ultimately had to do some soul-searching, and the rest of us copped out and found a pill in a little purple bottle.  Just know, all of you out there suffering from anxiety, that you are NOT alone,   that you are NOT the only one suffering, and that there IS help out there and different paths to take. 

THIS POST SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN AS MEDICAL ADVICE.  MENTAL ILLNESSES ARE JUST AS SERIOUS AS PHYSICAL ILLNESSES AND SHOULD ALWAYS BE TAKEN CARE OF BY A PROFESSIONAL.  THIS POST IS JUST A TELLING OF MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AND WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN MY LIFE AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO TELL YOU WHAT WILL AND WON'T WORK FOR YOU.

Sorry, guys, I just really felt with everything in there that a disclaimer was necessary ;-)

I second the second opinion.  My best friend used to suffer horribly too and they were going to do a hysterectomy... until her dad found a different Dr. that actually checked her out really well and come to find out she had varicose veins (of all things!) wrapped around her internal girl parts.

She's since had 2 more babies and only normal PMS-y stuff every once in a while like the rest of us.

Find a doctor that will *listen*

mmmmmmmm.... donuts.  Is there anything they can't do?