Posts by juliadil

i prefer raw, as well, but occasionally i'll microwave them. brings out the sweetness, but if you're roasting, i'm guessing you're into the savory. :)

yes, i did... but the light periods didn't last, unfortunately. *sigh* oh, for our health. no, my period was pretty light at first but now it's normalized... almost. i went through a phase where it was like when i first starting getting it and it was beyond the normal capacity of heavy.

hopefully that doesn't happen to you.

congrats on getting it back, dubsmom! it's a pain to deal with, but the best sign that everything is working properly in your body. 

raw almonds. i would NEVER get fat. 

i just want to add that this is really. really. really. really. funny.

and, my beagle smells like horseradish right now, wet or dry (though it is intensified when he's wet which is often since i live on an island and it's november) . he desperately needs a bath but, ugh, he hates it so much.... it's like i'm killing him, like i'm those bad guys in "beethoven's 2nd" (remember that 90's flick?)... you know, the ones that steal the puppies? 

my skin went discoloured when i was at my worst and even now, on occasion, i get funky pigment. it is malnutrition. or rather, a vitamin deficiency, as my doctor calls it. 

it's because of the lack of fat in the diet. 

the only solution that completely worked for me was to watch the intake of beta-carotene (carrots, broccoli, mangoes, cantaloupe, sweet potato) and also UP THE FATS. when i ate, like, 1/2 cup almonds a day (which is ridiculous) my skin went back to normal. 

wow, you guys are very informative. 

i agree with what you are saying re: condoms. i really don't get it and i think a talk about it is definitely in order. i know that before we don't use them i'm going to insist that he is checked for STDs. since i was checked over the summer, i feel like i've done my part in that area. 

csberier: i'd never thought that the "start-and-stop" would be detrimental but now that i think about it, you're totally right. eek.

Ims: i don't have issues buying condoms. it's him. he has issues using them. i don't know, i'm fed up with my own thoughts about it. 

i appreciate all your input. i suppose the real issue is that i don't want to use hormonal methods of contraception and i feel like there's not any other choice, given the circumstances. but that's not true. no exactly. i have a feeling this might be one of those times where i'm "people-pleasing" and neglecting myself... *sigh*

this subject has interested me for ages... i worked with an autistic boy for a few years. it was really quite intriguing. at the time, i did a lot of personal research. i'm not a qualified therapist but i have taken in oodles of information.

one documentary i saw dealt with a child who was trying to be "mainstreamed" into public school and experienced expected problems socially, including violent incidents. they found that what was actually the most effective way of easing his relationships was to EDUCATE HIS CLASSMATES on autism (or asperger's, as it was). 

as soon as they had insight into the subject, they were much more compassionate with him and the violence between them stopped. yes, he was "different" - your nephew is "different" - but teaching children that differences should be valued is so important. teaching anyone to be more open and accepting at any age should be valued. if your nephew does not feel threatened by these kids, he won't "attack" them. 

so that's my advice. get your sister to talk to the school about talking to the class about what autism is. 

thanks for the reply, ndero :). i appreciate your input. 

i'm starting to worry that i'm missing some key nutrients... or something. i donno.

i set up an appointment, though, so that's good. unfortunately not soon enough. 

i've done a lot of research on eating raw almonds because i'm completely addicted to them.

there is a lot of information out there about how they don't actually lead to weight gain, even an increase of 500 cals over the daily limit. 

something about how the fats in almonds have "fat blocking" properties so you don't actually absorb everything in them. like, 360 cals is only equivalent to 70 cals. 

i mean take the info how you want. it makes me feel better when i'm replacing the majority of my meals with raw almonds. i seriously think i have a problem. hehe

but at least they're healthy!

it's so difficult to break out of the routine. 

i came into this summer feeling very much like you, defleplan. i was addicted to my routine and rituals. 

then a friend asked me to act in a play and i started interacting with people again. and you know what? i hated it AT FIRST. i couldn't stand that everything was messed up. but by the end of the whole process i was looking forward to hanging out and being with people. now i'm working on another show, my own, and seeing people again and it feels really wonderful. i don't want to go back to that loneliness. 

and i guess the confidence i've felt lately has had a positive effect because yesterday i went down to the university and saw a counsellor. interesting that i did it when i'm on such a high note. i suppose because i'm afraid of falling into that hole again.

you can do this. is there anything you can get involved in? try something different where you could meet new people. working definitely helps. 

take care of yourself. even if i haven't responded, i've paid attention to your posts. i'm sorry you're having a rough time. 

google the minnesota study on starvation... i think that's what it's called, and you might be able to relate to what happened to you when you fasted.

i don't know anything about ramadan so dispute this if i'm way off base! 

take care. i've gone through similar experiences - losing/gaining is really tough!

i LOVE riding my bike! i have a blue cruiser and i ride it all over the city, hills and all. the hills are thankfully becoming easier. 

i don't drive at all - no learners or license - and i would way rather ride my bike than take public transport, especially in the summer. it's so fun anyway! i ride to work and school and the grocery store/video shop... mall... coffee... pretty much everywhere

good for you for wanting to tell your mom. 

i told my mom and it has helped me so much. i tell her when i feel one coming on, and she takes me out for a cup of coffee or a walk or something. and when she sees that i' struggling, she addresses the situation with me and asks "is it worth it?" because she knows how guilty i get (like, wretched-crying-guilty).

i really recommend it. my mom told me about her past problems with it and she's been able to help me search for a balance between letting go on occasion and staying healthy. 

you look awesome! you look like you lost more than that. you actually don't look much different than your 130 pic. 

i went from 155 to 140 a few summers back and went back home to visit my friends and everyone commented and i had absolutely no idea i looked any different! (i actually hadn't even stepped on a scale, just decided to cut back).

see some people you haven't seen in a long time!

i can relate to a lot of what you are saying. i often obsess that people are talking about me and my weight as well. but the truth? they're not. most people could probably care less. 

when i was 16 (when it all started, 5 yrs ago), i messed up my metabolism pretty badly and ended up gaining a lot of weight from bingeing after a prolonged period of starvation. i basically "took some time off" after that... i still had very disturbed thoughts, but i ate mostly what i wanted and then some and the weight stayed the same. i remember trying so hard to restrict again but i never lost a significant amount.

three years later, i moved from the city to vancouver island, away from everybody and everything that i knew. i also got a dog, and took the opportunity to attempt to get a hold of my eating. at that time, the weight FELL OFF ME. literally, it was so quick... i just recognized that i needed to be more balanced and watch the muffins. i was in no way starving.

my point is that the metabolism recovers and yes, i takes time, but it recovers. and seriously, eating 100-300 calories a day is only going to make this worse and more difficult. if i were you, i would work to accept yourself as you are - a beautiful, thin girl, in no way chubby at all. you are perfect. you just need to let yourself off the hook, let go for a while - your metabolism will thank you for it. 

please don't call yourself chubby at 130lbs and 5'5"... i know it is how you feel but i highly doubt you are "chubby"... at that weight and height, you don't need to lose a thing. it could be so much worse.