Posts by yourfavoriteblonde

yeah, they are the same as purple potatoes. they're small, but not waxy. just 100% awesome.

girl, you look awesome! i'm so jealous. i'm (re)starting at 255 (after starting at 245, losing almost 40, then putting it all back on and then some) and I can't wait to look as good as you do! Thanks for putting up the before picture, it's totally motivation for me. Congrats!!

I'm at 209 today, but I was at 207 two days ago (I'm going to blame this one on water weight - I'm definitely bloated, I'm out a whole loop on my belt). So - 207! Woohoo!! I'm so excited to be below 200 that I can't even explain it. 207 puts me at 38 pounds lost - almost to 45!! 

Not to mention the fact that I'm having a great weekend. In fact, I'm just generally very, very happy! I've only been on the anti-depressants a little under a week, but I can already tell that they're making a serious difference. This is really encouraging to me.

hey ladies!!

sorry i have been so absent lately. first my computer died a horrible death, then it was my birthday, then my best friend was out of town. so basically i've been cheating my ass off for a bit now. BUT i'm at 209ish this week. which is confusing as all hell to me. i got drunk a lot, ate whatever i wanted (including chinese food, gourmet pizza, **** pizza, hamburgers, birthday cake, meatloaf, etc) and i lost weight? don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining, but wtf? maybe it's from a metabolism boost? maybe from just being so damned happy and not stressing about it? maybe i'm dehydrated. i don't know, but i'll take it!!

either way i'm back on the wagon, and determined to do a good job. and i have a new goal in mind too. not exactly weight loss related, but i am really going to try to get my life in order. there's so much **** that's bad about my life - almost all related to me and my...hmm, personality, shall we call it? i need to fix it. i shouldn't let myself get so down. i'm going to start seeing a therapist again, go back on my meds, try to cut out some bad influences in my life and try to have a positive outlook, even when there isn't one to be had. it's going to be hard. i'm going to struggle. but hey, if i can lose 36 pounds without giving up, then i can do this too. 

soup!!!!! every kind but cream based!!

Yeah, it did get really quiet around here. I FINALLY got rid of all that water weight. I'm back at 215. 5 days later, but I managed it. I'd like to lose at least a pound this week but I'm really not sure it's going to happen. I ate at maintenance yesterday. Hoping to do a little bit better than that today. It's hard to stay strong when you work at Olive Garden. Even not eating the food, I still find myself munching on croutons, andes mints and raspberry lemonade. That stuff all adds countless extra calories to my diet. Poop.

i'd love to have a copy of this spreadsheet!!

i would have to say that there are an incredible number of parallels between us involvement in central america and nafta. central america tried to develop a system of free trade, but it made the region even more reliant on the united states. which is essentially what is happening with nafta. the poverty stricken regions are reliant on the consumers of the goods that they produce, but all of the profits that they receive from their goods are invested right back into the industry, instead of being invested into the communities and developing/strengthening the nations to make them more self-sustaining. so while the free trade is sort of beneficial, in a round about way, because it adds money into the economy, the large majority of the population never sees the money. wages never increase. the cost of living continues to increase. poverty never goes down. and poverty is probably the main impetus behind political unrest, especially in regards to revolt. but then what happens when there is too much political unrest? other nations have to step in and provide assistance. namely the united states. do you see where i'm going with this?

i know i've got a strong opinion on this. but that's the thing - i'm really interested in hearing OTHER peoples opinions on the whole mess. i don't want to seem inflammatory, i'm actually very curious.

question for y'all.

is anyone else struggling with their self esteem even MORE now that they've lost weight. i seem to hate myself more than ever now that i'm not quite as heavy. you would think losing 30 pounds would've made me love myself even more, but i just look in the mirror or in pictures and am sad. i think maybe it's because i didn't realize how far i had to go. i can't see a lot of progress, so i just feel discouraged. like - 30 pounds didn't do anything for me. i'm still fat, i still can't fit into pants in a regular store, i've still got lumps and bumps in places where there shouldn't be any. i feel good knowing that i've lost 30 pounds, but i almost don't believe the scale, because i really can't see it. it just seems like i have so far to go, i can't help but despise my body a little bit (and myself for doing this to my body). am i alone in this?

Well, I successfully made it through Olive Garden training. It was hard, but I did it. But since I've only eaten one huge meal a day every day for three days, it feels weird to wake up today and eat something small. I guess I'll have to though, huh. After all, that's a hell of a lot healthier. Does anybody have plans for this weekend? I'm tabling for planned parenthood on Saturday and volunteering at my museum on Sunday. It should be a good weekend. It'll be nice to have a slower pace, since this week has been so crazy and next week is going to be so crazy too. I'm going out with the man I'm completely smitten over tonight. And I have a feeling he's going to want to go get dinner. Hopefully I'll be able to make healthy choices and resist all of my favorite, greasy, delicious food!!

yeah, i don't go to the gym on the weekends either. hell, i can't even convince myself to go to the gym on weekdays.

there's nothing i hate more than tossing and turning in your sleep and having bad dreams because inevitably you end up waking up feeling awful. it happens to me once or twice a week. i'll have a handful of really bad dreams all night and then i'll wake up in the most awful mood ever. and it tends to be a funk that i really struggle to get out of.

i've gotten myself into a pickle, too. i'm working my dream job right now, at a museum. it's something that i'd be happy doing for the rest of my life. i work directly with the guests and work on some behind the scenes projects as well. it's how i got to meet ralph nader - he spoke at our museum. but here's the thing - right now what i'm doing is strictly volunteer work. and while i think there might be a place for me to be hired on permanently, i don't know whether that will actually happen. it just figures that when i finally find something i could do for the rest of my life, i'm not getting paid to do it. 

sorry for the rant, it's a monday and i needed to get it out!!

how did everyones weekend go, diet wise? obviously i blew it big time on saturday, but sunday i was good. in fact, i ended up coming in a little under my 1500 calories. i just wasn't hungry.

tonight is dollar burger night, which is always hard for me. i simply cannot resist $1 hamburgers at one of my favorite bars in town. but the problem is a hamburger and a beer packs in around 1000 calories. which is a LOT. i'll be ok. i'll pack myself full of veggies all day and take a really long walk, then it won't matter if i go over my calories by a little bit.

Good morning ladies!!!

I'm very excited with my results thus far. Last time I got on a scale was last Monday. I was at 223ish. This morning I got on (after a heavy night of drinking, mind you, which means that I am retaining water like a freakin camel) and I'm at 219ish. Hooray!!!! I could do a dance I'm so happy!! That brings my total lost to 26 pounds, and my amount lost for this challenge to 4! I could dance!!! My first goal when I started this was 220 pounds (not my ultimate goal, just my first stop along the way) and I made it this morning!! I've never been so happy.

And finally - a little anecdote I thought I'd share with you guys. I'm a very social drinker. After a heavy night of drinking, one of my friends is generally asleep on my sofa, unable to make it home. Which means that we will inevitably get up and go to breakfast this next morning. This morning, for the first time since I can remember, I woke up this morning and my first thought (besides oh dear god, give me some water an some aspirin) was not "mmmm, let's go get breakfast". I actually went, dug through the freezer, and pulled out one of those freezer meals, and as I was going to put it in the microwave, I thought to myself "mmmm, this is going to be delicious" which promptly made me giggle. I've been eating healthy for so long that I'm excited about a freezer meal. Oh lord, how far I've come. haha.

Yeah, I'm pretty excited, I won't lie. I don't know that I'd vote for the man because he's just a smidgen radical for me, but it's still a freakin awesome person to get to meet. I just have to make sure I'm dressed up and looking super hot!!

Also - I've already forgotten...what day do we weigh in?

i've only got one tattoo so far. it says strong and it's on my lower right hip bone (or where the bone would be if i wasn't so fat. hah). i want to get another one on my lower left hip bone in the same font that says beautiful, but i too wanna wait until i'm at least a bit closer to my goal weight. i'd hate for it to get all morphed as i got thinner. i got my strong tattoo when i was 18. i had a really tumultuous and ugly teenager-hood, both self-inflicted and otherwise, and it was kind of a reflection of all of the **** that i made it through. a reminder that even when it seems like the world is ending, i am strong and i can get through it. the beautiful tattoo - well, you can figure that one out yourself, i'm sure. i want something that symbolizes that no matter what, no matter how fat or thin, i am beautiful, inside and out. and i think that's something everyone can relate to. i opted to get them in english because that way everyone can see them, and know exactly what they mean. they don't need an explanation or a story to understand.

i'm not a tea drinker, myself. i can't really have caffeine, it makes me really shaky, hyper and nauseous. so i tend to avoid it. in fact, i really just drink water all the time. i rarely even put ice in it, i drink it straight from the tap. either that or beer. i'm a big fan of beer too. i like to drink juice, but i just can't justify using the calories on it.

out of curiosity, have any of you guys struggled with restrictive eating disorders? i did, for a few years, went through recovery and ironically enough ended up morbidly obese. well, i've been doing really well on my diet recently, but i'm starting to notice little indicators pop up lately. stuff that i used to do that i catch myself doing again. for example, my goal is 1500 cals per day, but i've noticed that if i get above 1000, i feel guilty. and i actually have to force myself to make it to 1500 (i do, because i want to be healthy, but some days it's really hard). do you guys struggle with that at all?

i don't know a whole lot about the science of this stuff, but i know one thing - exercising makes me feel good. so you should go to the gym anyways, because even if it doesn't significantly improve your weight loss (which i call BS on anyways, i just don't have the facts to back it up) it makes you feel MUCH better, physically and psychologically. so hell, do it anyways, just to make you feel good!