Posts by abner

still at 210 lbs.  home sick, still in pain.

   My name is abner some of you have known me for some time now....

I use to be very active on the previous forum. 

My story goes a little like this " the readers digest version". 

I grow up poor, but not wanting. as a teen i started working out. running, lifting weight, learning the fighting arts.  went to collage majored in Physical Education minoring in psychology. Got married, never completed collage on the first round. had kids gained fat..

20 years of failing to restart my program led me into a deep depression (it was always there, the depression). I topped out at 280 lbs down to 250 lbs back up and down, up and down. you get the picture. developed diabetes, leaning towards high blood pressure and passing my 45 birthday. in 2006 my diabetes was out of control and heading for the needle. My wife is a full blown, insulin injecting diabetes, and I knew i would not survive her life style....

I knew from many years of fallers that the only way for me to  win was a three prong approach. cardio. weights, and spiritual. and no not religion but for some that may help.  I was able to lose over 60 lbs. I was strong and felt great.

then **** it the fan. sometime in may I started getting slights pain in my left neck, shoulder area. it started getting worse. no not a heart attack  thank god...

the pain just increase I could not sleep, and it was always worse at night..anyway after doc app and mri's I have stanosis and thinning of the 5 and 6 disc's in my neck.  the pain just keeped getting worse.. and I tend to eat when im in pain. 

today after pain meds and injections nothing is helping. Im not going to give up. I wont forget all that i have achieved. I started a new life style and this is just a major bump in the road that I will over come. but dame it it's hard.  each day is one big f'en struggle. I don't want sympathy, I don't get any at work or at home. I just want the pain to go away.  and it will. and I will start again.

thats sorta why im not truly involved in this forum. not a good excuse i know but that the truth. 

oh, by the way I did go back to collage and got my degree, now I have two grown kids (still living with me, and thats ok) have my own home (until the mortgage is paid off). so life is good. 

my name is abner

I will never give up. I will never surrender.

I am not on a diet, I am changing my life style.

bobev with all that lingo im not sure if I should congratulate your or prey for you.

W5D1 or c25k sound like characters on Star Wars.

Im a former New Yorker myself born and grew up in the projects of the Lower East Side.

Im also a Former fat guy

Former diabetic

Former Hp candidate

My wife's a former Brooklyite so "forget about it"

I will never surrender. I will never forget.

I am not on a diet, I am changing my life style.

And with that good night and welcome tropical storm Fay.

210 lbs still not bad. 6.33 am will wright more later.

Abner

still at 210 lbs, 

6:35 am

210 lbs not bad at all.

I was terrified going on the scale, a kin to lining up before the firing squad.

I was hovering between 202 and 206 when my neck pain started. and I stopped all work outs and eating habits. so gaining only 4 to 8 lbs in several long pain full months is not bad at all.

Once again thank you wiliwigi, I needed this push, now I need to Tailor something to slowly lose the fat. may not be able to hit the iron but I can try something. 

I will be seeing the DOC today, still in a lot of pain. but I am in for the challenge of my life.

I started at close to 270 lbs I'm not going back with out a fight.

Never surrender. Never quit. Not going to fail.

This is an open apology to all my friends.

For the last couple of months i have been dealing with an increase pain in my neck (not the wife and kids). The pain was becoming unbearable. I could not sleep, have not worked out, did not go back to the club and play the harmonica. What i have done is eat the pain away. I know I have gained weight and lost most of  my firmness. i am just so tired.

I did get an MRI,

I have saver arthritis in the neck and the disks are pressing against the nerves. Right now im on some heavy pain meds, and this week I will be going under a procedure to help with the pain and eliminate most of the drugs. I hope.

This is no excuse, but im tired.

I know you guys care, and im sorry for not keeping up with my journal or any of the groups.

I promise that after the procedure I will slowly get back to normal and even better.

pleas accept my lame excuse for an apology

Abner

I will never give up, I will never surrender.

I am not on a diet, I am changing my life style.

scottpatton congrats on losing.

You can check my gallery, I have some picks. I do need to  take and down load some new ones.

Im 5'10

I started out at around 266 lbs.

This is just my 2 cents, Im a male so this might make a slight difference.

I have lost 66 lbs since the start of Jan 07. It is a very hard and difficult road with a tremendous amount of rewards.

I am not ashamed to say as a man, (a hard core construction worker) when my uniform pants (size 48 ) were busting at the seams I felt extremely hopeless nothing I did worked to lose fat. I cried each time I put on clothes. I am not kidding. My blood glucose was at 205 meaning I was becoming an insulin dependent diabetic. More crying.

The only thing that worked was both exercising and counting every cal that went into my system. and trust me, I would lose and gain I called it the see/saw effect. Then I would plateau for months felling more hopeless. but I keep-ed with it.

Im at 201-207 lbs its up and down. I am no longer considered a diabetic. and I can fit into a size 36. I do cheat at times.

Be true to your self.

I will never forget. I will never surrender.

I am not on a diet, I am changing my life style.

205 lbs

ok so far so good. working out  hard 40 min  45 min on weights and 25 min on cardio.

cut down on a lot of junk food, not that their was much to begin with but I am more than ever determine to push myself hard. not to exhaustion but not to relaxation.

The best this I have found is to continue on a dailyt basis to input all my info on "cc".

To be true to one self. I am the only one that can do it. I am the only one that can lie to my self. I am the only one that can cheat myself. To be true to one self.

I will never forget. I will never surrender.

I am not on a deit, I am changing my life style.

205 lbs

man I can't wait to see anything below 200 lbs.

seem to be stuck between 201 and 206.

Had my company weigh in today came in at 214 lbs this is with full uniform (boots) not bad considering my last year was 274 lbs.

if your are constantly over 280 lbs they will fire you. I was on the once a year mandatory weigh in. its some kind of rating if your below 175 you go in every 5 years. I'm not sure were I fall in now.

The other good thing about it besides hitting 214 lbs was due to the change up in locations I did nothing for 4 hours and got paid for it. I love it when they mess up.

ops, a day late.

207 lbs

207 lbs. Started working out again. Not sure how much i lost on the last challenge but im not looking for the finish line. I'm in it for the ride.

I want to thank everyone for the great and encouraging remarks.

I work hard out in the field and it's very hard for me to give my input and stay in touch.

Thank you

This is from my Journal. I apologies in advance for repeating myself ....

Motivation, you have to love this word. Motivation. I find it very easy to motivate other people. I find it almost impossible to motivate oneself. I have spent all my adult life slowly gaining and losing fat. To the point that I forgot who I was. So who am I?

My name is Abner; I’m a male, 47 years old. I have both physical (ruptured disc, asthma, diabetes) and mental problems (depression). I have failed in every attempt to lose the fat. This is the last one. The last time, it’s this or die. So I started this new life by only doing 5 min of cardio and using 5 lbs weights. I slowly added to them. 1 minute a day on cardio and small increments on the dumbbells. Always keeping to good form. I did not count calories. I hate dieting with a passion. I don’t like refusing myself the good things in life. The sweets, the baked goods, the beer.

Once again I started out slowly cutting out the refined carbs and adding complex carbs. I started adding fruits and vegetables. I started losing fat. I started counting my cal. I was able to lose 50 lbs. This came about very slowly.

Each day became a battle, but a winning battle. And like all battles there was a stall. A wonderful word called Plateau. Some time in November of ‘07 I stalled. My weight see-sawed. I hovered between 220 and 218. Each week one after the other. Frustration set in. Hunting on the web, looking for ways to continue the battle. Soon I became battle fatigue. Depression was setting in. My motivation was waining.

So, how does one motivate oneself? I have friends on this site that have given me that push, that smile, which helps me to continue.

I will never surrender. I will never give up.

I am not on a diet; I am changing my life style.

So, here I go.

I remember how painful it was to get out of my chair. The ruptured disk made my life a struggle.

I remember the pain I was in on our vacation to Universal Studios. The tears in my knee brought tears to my eyes.

I remember refusing to buy my uniform pants a larger size knowing that if I went larger I would keep getting larger.

I remember when those same pants were busting at the waist, and I still refused to buy a larger size.

I remember when tying my boots I could not breath.

I remember looking at my reflection at a store window and seeing how fat I was.

I remember refusing to go to the annual dinner dance because my suit would not fit. And I refused to buy a larger size.

I remember the tears so well, feeling the failure at all the attempts of dieting.

I remember feeling no hope at all.

I remember my glucose numbers getting dangerously high, wondering if insulin shots were my next stop.

I remember my blood pressure always being too high.

I remember carrying the work ladder from the curb to the rear of the property, my chest pounding as if I were having a heart attack.

I remember the pain and discomfort working in the air.

I remember counting the minutes to the end of the day so I could go home and rest away the pain.

I remember all this plus so many things that being fat has caused. The pain, the discomfort, the low self esteem the feeling of constant failing.

How does one motivate oneself when this is with them for so many years? I don’t know the answer to this. But I will say one thing.

I will never surrender. I will never give up.

I remember all this plus so many things that being fat has caused. The pain, the discomfort, the low self esteem the feeling of constant failing.

I must remember all of this. It is so hard to motivate oneself even after witnessing all of this.