Posts by ubiquitousjen

What's wrong with not wanting extra fat?  If a woman was 5'8" and 120 she would be the object of attraction.  I do not feel that he was trying to get advice on his ED, I believe he is aware that he needs to gain, but doesn't want to gain fat, he would like to gain muscle.  I 'think' he asked the question because he wants to better himself and is fully aware that at 120lbs he is too thin.

 "Yes I realize I'm underweight and I plan on doing something about that, and this is what this thread is about." -thejabronisayz

 Being that he is an athlete, and a devoted one at that I am sure he is around physical trainers and doctors a lot.  I see his post more as... hey guys yea I'm too skinny but I don't want to be fat... what can I do to gain some muscle besides drinking protein shakes and lifting weights?

We all agree that he should drink the protein shakes and in addition up his calories with whole foods as well.  He also agrees to try and up his calories...

 "I'll just try to eat things that I can make reasonable estimates for, like apples, bananas, pita w/ hummus and such. Thanks again "

My only advice to that, is that he may want to incorporate healthy fats and more protein.  Maybe alvocado and hummus on a pita, a protein bar with PB (easy for on the go), also he could keep dry roasted unsalted almonds on hand for when he's not too hungry but knows his body might need some fuel.

He also addressed the issue that he's just not hungry, so in my mind that means he needs to eat more calorie dense food and because he eats only certain times of the day he needs to keep easy items that are available to throw in a gym bag.

I have similar stats...  this is what works for me...

 Pump up the exercise, eat 200 calories more (HEALTHY) and cut out the carbs (most of them).  Do that for a few days and trust me... or if carbs are hard for you do something like... one day you have veggies, eggs, lean meats nuts, and the next day have some whole grains and fruit added in and alternate.  This works for me.

 OH...  and BLACK coffee up to 5 cups a day...

I am not blessed in that area, even at healthy weights I have had to work hard to keep the girls a little perky.  PUSH UPS - GOOD BRA - BUTTERFLY/CHEST PRESSES.  It does work... trust me once I stop doing these things they start to relax again and hang lower and lower...

30lbs weight, 3 reps of ten everyother day... OH and do the push ups until you can't do anymore (start with the girl ones and work your way to the mens if you can't).

 Good Luck~

I disagree...

 I don't ever 'bulk' up on anything... only because if something good comes around I'm bound to have that too... LOL.  Sooooooooo, what works for me is, everything in moderation, have a little good with your little bad.  So that way when you mess up and have a little too much good you wont be WAY over your calories and you could just go for a quick jog to burn off the extra.

 That mentality has worked for me.  However I guess I'm different, but I've lost 40lbs by doing the moderation thing.

 Also, nutrition is important to me, so I don't mean skip the veggies and fruit... I just mean eat well balanced like you usually would while you're on a diet and if you have that pastry or awesome pasta in moderation then just hit the gym.

Everyone carries weight different... with that in mind you might have no idea where you'll be happy at if you have always been heavier.  For me, I'm 5'8" and 150 is thin, I have large breasts, flat stomach, and a round booty at 180 lbs, however when I am 150 lbs I can count most of my ribs and you can see my hip bones a little.  I once got down to 135 and was disgusted because my back was so boney!!! My BF at the time was like GROSS, you need to gain some weight.  However I guess he didn't mean 180... LOL.

 Oh, and some womem like to be very thin, however it's not all that healthy to be very thin when you're female.  Females are made to have children, you need certain stores of fat on your body (boobs, butt) that's how were were made and that's why it's so hard for us.  God made us with the intent that if there was a famine we would survive it easier then a male to care for the children.  However back when that mattered we didn't have cars, internet, TV, and junk food!

 So what I'm trying to say is... you're tall, you may get to 180 and look and feel fantastic!  Once your waist gets below 35 inches, your health can not improve much with more weight loss unless you are short with a small frame.

Jules

I have found porn on the computer, but it's been a long time since I found any... I do get pretty angry at that stuff, so he probably just figured out how to hide it from me...

Ok well I just got called into work, so much for working at home.  Thanks for the help girls, I appreciate the honesty and the concern.

 There really are a bunch of great people on this site!

fireflyeyes

 You're right, I think we need counseling... because after all I'm still with him because I can't imagine life without him.  However I think at this point I can't imagine life without him because he makes me feel so insecure and that I can't do it on my own.

I know I could make it on my own in the money department (I make more then he does).  However he tells me that no one would love me as much as he does... (but I didn't think love was supposed to hurt so bad).

Jules...

 We haven't had sex for over a year...

undertherainbow

 Well my mother doesnt have any stretch marks from having 2 kids and my sister has a bunch from 2 kids.  It's a toss in the air if you're going to get them and how bad... However I KNOW that I would never let him see me naked if I did get them bad.  He's told me time and time again how he thinks they are gross and when he sees a woman at the beach with them he points it out makes a comment.

 I do have small stretch marks on my hips and boobs from puberty, however they are not noticable anymore.  I've kept it a secret from him all of this time, LOL.

Well I want to lose the weight, that's not the issue.  I enjoy being healthy and feeling good about myself.  HOWEVER... what I said about getting older or having a baby... after a baby you get stretch marks, and when you get old your skin is not as taught and you get wrinkles.  It's a fact of life and a beautiful thing, however my husband is repulsed by the thought of it.  He's constantly making fun of people that are not perfect, including me.  Ok.. so it's not constant, but enough for me to question my relationship.

 I gained weight because of a heart condition, and surgery.  I was on bed rest for almost a year, you'd think he would understand.

 Happy it helped  :)

I am a bit heavier then you, but I've noticed when I weigh myself everyday I see it fluctuatiing even though I'm sticking with my diet.  If you are eating right and exercising there is no way you're going to gain... trust me and goodluck :)

Example: On Christmas I weighed 181 (down from 200!), and I stuck there for a while and I figured it was because I allowed myself to eat 1800 calories a day through the holidays, well the scale was reading 174.6 this morning...  Rather drastic loss when I was just trying to maintain.  It gave me inspiration, that even when I'm maintaining my weight loss I can eat more then 1800 calories if I'm active and eating healthier (the healthier the food the more you can eat!)

 Goes to show that we Americans eat way more calories then we think we do.

1300 calories might be too little with exercise, you don't have much to lose!  Restricting your calories that much might mean when you go off your diet it will all come back (not always though).  Try something more gradual like 1500 calories and burn an extra 300 a day so you're still getting 1200 calories.  Once you do that don't weigh yourself daily, just once a week in the morning and you'll see a difference.

I also think the sodium tip is great too.

I watched super skinny me on BBC last night and it was about two journalists that went on crash diets to become a size 00.  One of the woman started off with a great trainer that had her on 1500 calories a day and a lot of exercise... she dropped 7 lbs rather fast.  After that she did some more restricting diets, she did get to a size 00, however gained most of it back in 2 weeks!  I used this example because both of these women did not have weight issues, and if you only need to lose 5-10 lbs then you don't either.