Posts by trinaxxl

except for one guy i AM the fattest in my gym, that doesn't bother me, most people there have been very very supportive to me.  Now if I could just be more motivated.

I am always shocked at teh things that people think they have a right to tell you, the stupid oppinions they feel the need to share.

SAYING THAT...... here is something I can say, I wish I had not gotten most of mine, dont get me wrong, I love them and all but I am concidering losing lots of weight, I am also 400+ and have severe arthritis so I am litterally comptemplating eventually getting Weight Loss Surgery and I wonder what will happen to my lovely artwork when I deflate.  I remember the main argument my mom had when I was 25 and got all of mine(I turn 40 on sunday the 7th) was "what if you lose weight?" and me thinking yeah right

Trust me I am already scared to death of the consequenses of the weight loss but more scared to be in a wheelchair at 40 for the rest of my life, if you do get a tattoo I would say the fore arm is a good place, if you do lose a lot of weight it wont change much.

You have the right to do as you please just thought I would let you know what I am going through personally so you can keep it mind.

I think I did pretty well, we went to dinner at 2 places and i had to make mashed potatoes and yams for about 35 people so by the time I had done that even with only a few samples I was a little turned off to food.

I had a venti mocha for breakfast with an apple and cheese stick (the mocha was the big nono of the day actually)

At 2 we ate and I had a slice of ham, some mashed potatoes without gravy (I dont really like it) a small scoop of stuffing and a roll with a little turkey and 2 deviled eggs

We ate again at 5 and I had more turkey, a small scoop of stuffing a good sized scoop of potatoes (I make amazing garlic mashed potatoes if I do say so myself)  a little scoop of green bean cassarole and a few other things but no dessert at that time.

My brother sent us home a 8 in pumpkin pie, I had a 1/4 of it (equal to a decent slice of a 10 inch pie) without whipped cream cause we did not have any and a few little gingerbread men before bed.

I am proud of myself cause i know I am capable of eating 3500 calories without batting an eye and I did not really worry what I ate I was just not that hungry and knew that if I pigged out I would feel physically and emotionally crappy later.  For me that is a big step.

We also only took home the last few scoops of mashed potatoes and the yams I took with us and the little pie which I told my BF he could have the other 3 peices of.

I think without the Mocha I did about 2000 calories actually and that sounds like a lot but at my size my intake should be closer to 2350

I try to have a little sweet everyday but i have gotten good at keeping it around 200 calories. I never thought I could control myself with snack packs and what not but I do.

Every so often I have a "no count day" not really a cheat day, just a day I dont count my calories, maybe I am going to a party or having dinner with my family.  I let myself have the treat but since I am not thinking of it as a CHEAT DAY or feeling deprived the rest of the time I find I dont binge, I may eat more and maybe not the same but I dont just slam down snack food and junk.  I think I at least stay at maintence.

Food in general surprised me to death when i started calorie counting, what was most shocking is how much I use to shovel in me. 

Things people have mentioned:

muffins, and those big baked scones, there is a place here that sells MONSTER ones that I now realize are probably 1500 calories at least and 1200 minimum.  I use to go in and eat 2 of them day old or these HUGE pan cookies that where like an inch and a half thick and probably 1000 calories.

Pizza, I can not BELIEVE how much pizza I use to eat, we would buy a large and get one free, then 2 or 3 of us would eat a HUGE pizza and I would eat the rest over the next 2 days... an ENTIRE pizza!!!!

Breakfast sandwiches:  I use to get 2 McDs sausage biscuits and sometimes hashbrowns and then there is SONIC  with the fried bread, sausage patty, egg and cheese and sometimes I ate 2 of those.

One thing that blew my mind was lone stars baked sweet potato with toppings, I USE to eat those with butter, cinnamon and sugar for almost 700 calories, that is what they do to a 170 calorie sweet potato and that was with their 8 oz steak sandwich and pop.

there is more but this is making me depressed.

I eat either fresh ground peanut butter (I go to a place with bulk food that has a grinder and get it every few weeks) or home made Hummus on whole wheat toast with a 1/4 cup of cottage cheese on it.

OR a half a cup of Kashi go lean crunch or a full cup of Kashi Strawberry fields with low fat sugarfree yogurt poured on tip of it.

Low Sugar (or no sugar) oatmeal mixed with half a cup of natural applesauce.

A whole wheat tortillia shell with grated mozarella or 2% milk cheddar (or fat free cream cheese or hummus) and some kind pre cooked meat like diced chicken or some fresh cooked canadian bacon rounds.  Add some veggies like spinach and cattors and wrap.

I mix cereal into my yogurt for breakfast, I like kashi strawberry fields  or go lean crunch it.

Try other fruit even other types of apples, try baking one with one or two teaspoons sugar and some cinnamon for dessert.  I make light coleslaw with fat free mayo, 1 teaspoon sugar some vinegar and a diced apple, I make enough for two meals worth using a lot of cabbage, 5 tablespoons of mayo (50 calories) one apple, shreded carrots and a little vinegar and 1 teaspoon sugar.

YOu have to ask yourself something.... why do you binge so badly?  You are not talking eating an extra 1000 calories at a party once in a while, you are talking about an extra THREE THOUSAND calories in one day  this is like you eating an entire cheese cake in one day.  What drives you to binge?  Maybe you need to be dealing with that issue as much as worrying about healthy snacks.

I keep two food charts, one on here and one on paper and on the paper one I detail the food eaten, the calories, the time and the REASON I ate it.  Then after a few weeks I go back and mark things that stick out.  Like the fact that if I save up calories to have a few drinks I am in trouble, cause I drunk snack (get teh munchies) or that fact that I was always eating after this one specific person pissed me off, now I am taking control of things with them and it keeps me from eating.

Since you binge I wont suggest 100 calorie packs, they are sometimes hard to resist and I have to force myself to only have one cracker pack and one cookie pack a day and there are days I still slipp up and have two.

What it is is a major step towards a life long bout of eating disorders.

I was Bulimic in Highschool , now I have 6 crowns on my teeth and because of my insurance the 3 in the back are STEEL, lovely grey steel and it comes largely from doing crazy stuff like that and throwing up.

Original Post by lessin08:

>>>>>>>>>

To be honest, when my husband looks at me... I like my body. Truly, it is the only time I do. I wish I could see me through his eyes. I marvel at his lack of body image issues. My husband looks like a bear. But, he loves his body. I wonder if it is because he is a man?  

I have a very distorted body view.

I KNOW I am better looking now than I will be when I am 200 pounds, unless I could afford $80K in reconstruction surgury and it is hard on me.  But then I have a different prespective than a lot of fat women, I am a BBW Model... Super Sized Model more than plus size.  I have a webiste( not a pay one) , I have made a lot of money selling non-porn fat fetish type vidoes of me as well as CDs of Photographs, none of them sexual or fully naked (only a few back shots)  I have had paysites beg me to do work for them and I wont cause I wont pose nude for my own reasons having nothing to do with how I look.

In the BBW community I am well known and everyday I hear form some man or the other how AMAZING I look. and I use to agree and love it.  But since the arthritis hit 3 years ago I have lost most of my confidence.  I no longer do pics like that because I see the pain on my face and it aged me.  I still think big women are beautiful, I have have my art of them published in books, and magazines in the USA and Austrailia and I will always see beauty in them. 

I am only losing weight because of my knees and so I am faced with knowing that when I lose weight and have tons of baggy skin and my face shows it age like a painting of Dorian Grey I will NOT be as desirable as I am now.

I would LOVE to see me through their eyes, to see the beauty they see, I would love to be happy with who I am regardless of size, small or big, but pain, non stop pain has a way of warping you and your preceptions badly.

What did you binge on?  If it was snack food, pizza or restaurant food chances are you are bloated since I was shocked how much slat is in most of it once I started looking, not to mention other stuff.

I agree find out why you binged.... was it a party?  or was it a pity party so to speak?  If you binged cause you were upset about something you have to deal with it, if you binged cause it was there just be more careful next time.

 I try really hard to avoid the stuff that makes me binge, I just gave 4 skinny cow ice cream sandwiches to my friend when I realized I could not stop thinking of them in my freezer.  I have started to put my foot down about Chinese buffets a place my friends love and where i either end up eatting too much or feeling like paid way too much for a very little amount.

I posted this once before but I think it is worth posting again.

******************

EATING HEALTHY FAST FOOD

There are some alternatives at different places and I am glad to see that. Here are some I like and think are pretty healthy. These are just the ones in my area.

Jack in the box:

They now have GRILLED chicken strips, 180 calories with only 20 calories of fat, even with 2 packets of sweet and sour you are well under 300 calories. They also have an Asian grilled chicken salad which if you have Balsamic vinaigrette is like 200 calories. You can actually have 3 egg rolls for 400 calories which is less than almost every one of their sandwiches.

McDonald’s

You can get a Grilled snack wrap for around 260 calories, when a single cheeseburger is 300 calories. They have some good salads IF you get them with grilled chicken or NO chicken and lowfat dressing you can get them for 400 calories or less. They also have their yogurt and fruit parfait for 130 without granola and apple dippers with caramel for 100 calories.

Burger King

Their Tendergrill sandwich is a good one though with 400 calories WITHOUT Mayo and 510 with. Their veggie burger is 340 without mayo and 420 with, personally I like sweet and sour sauce with is about 45 calories and no fat on my sandwiches. They do have applesauce at 90 calories a small cup and a small side salad at 19 a garden salad at 90 and a tendergrill (grilled chicken) 240. Their dressing is less than impressive with light Italian at 120 and some BKs offer fat free ranch at 60 calories.

Sonic

Their Grilled chicken salad is 310 without dressing and the Santa fe for 380, light ranch at 120, golden Italian 50 and Southwest Italian at 120. Their Grilled chicken wrap comes in at 380 while their Chicken club toaster sandwich is over 700 calories. Grilled chicken on ciabatta with mayo is 340 with 100 calories from fat. Watch out for their coffee drinks, the chiller is just a coffee shake and a 20 oz one comes in at just over 700 calories. They are about the only place I know that offers Sprite Zero (I don’t like diet colas) and their flavored Ice teas are only 10 calories for a 44 oz one.

Carl’s Jr

Carl’s Jr has the least healthy stuff to offer, all of the Six dollar burgers except the Low carb (490 calories) are over 1000 calories and only their charbroiled BBQ chicken is under 400 (380). The charbroiled Chicken salad is 260 calories but their blue cheese dressing is 320, though they do have a low fat vinaigrette at 35 calories.

Wendy’s

Like many places Wendy’s offers salads and overall they are good on calories, until you consider the add-ons like croutons and almonds (70 and 130 calories) and of course dressings, which all except Fat free ranch are over 100 calories. They do offer the best side selections of any place I have seen, Mandarin oranges (80) side salad 35 calories without dressing, Small chili (220) and a sour cream baked potato which to me is a whole meal for 320 calories. You can even get a Junior Chocolate frosty for 160 calories of which only 4 gms is fat. There ultimate chicken grill sandwich is 320 with 7 grams of fat.

Remember almost every chain has a menu and calorie info on their site, take a few minutes once in a while to look at them if you are going into a new area and know they are there.

This is all an issue of making good choices.  Also many sit down places like Applebees and IHOP offer light meals or will let you order off of teh "senior" menu.  I find most chinese places will give you half servings of things and you can always get stuff with little or no sauce or the sauce on the side.