Posts by 1kkatt

I have a sister like that.  She constantly puts me down.  I finally realized that it was because she feels inferior about herself and it builds herself up when she puts me down.  I don't think she even pays attention to the fact that her comments are often ones that put me down.  If she gets particulary rude I tell her so...and will also say, "Thats funny, I was talking to (whoever) earlier and they thought I looked great!"

I buy the flavoured ones most of the time but sometimes I put a cheese slice on top of one and stick it in the toaster oven for a few minutes until the cheese starts to melt.

My stuffed bunny, Bobby Bunny, sleeps on the head of the bed, waiting for a night time cuddle when necessary, and my quilt, Frog, is beside my bed waiting for me to wrap my arms around it when I have a restless night.  I'm only 41...so I guess I have a few years before I need to give them up.

Good land!  Of course I talk to myself.  Most days it is the only way I can have an intelligent conversation!

My husband and I tried it for awhile.  I didn't see where it did anything.  Since I drank it in water, I just quit the vinegar and drank plain water.

My husband was in agony after 3 or 4 days and it took another day for me to realize the acid in the vinegar was hurting his kidneys.  He immediately stopped using it and started drinking loads of water to flush his kidneys.  After another 3 or 4 days he was able to function normally again.  So, if you do try it and your back starts aching, stop using it.

I got to the point where I only post here once in awhile.  Not because anyone has ripped into me.  I really don't care if they do.  But because I have seen some decernt people feel ripped to shreds and beaten to a pulp.

I know people can be sensitive at times but there are times that instead of saying "oh suck it up" it would be nice to hear someone say "I guess I came across pretty harsh, I didn't mean it like that". 

Instead of blaming a person for being sensitive, which is not going to make them feel any better about themselves, why not take a few seconds to word a post so it doesn't sound so harsh or, if that isn't possible, just walk away without saying anything?

I have found other groups that are just as large as this one that have a lot more support. (and no not the sunshine and fluff type of support)  It is unfortunate that people feel that CC is not friendly anymore because in the end, it is detrimental to the purpose of this place.

You are right pgeorgian, you have every right to say whatever you want to say.

My husband adopted my daughter shortly after we married, when she was about 2.  As she grew up, she always knew he had chosen her to be his daughter and that she had a bio out there. 

As we live in a very small community, I often saw her bio and was friends with the woman he married.  I even babysat their children once in awhile.  When my daughter got older, she babysat those kids without knowing they were her 1/2 siblings.  It was a strange situation according to some, but it was the only way my daughter could get to know her siblings without them knowing what was going on. 

When my daughter was about 12 or so, she wanted to know who her bio father was.  What she was asking is "Who am I and where did I come from?" so I told her.  She was thrilled to know she had 2 siblings and was happy that she already knew them. 

She gets along ok with her bio until he starts acting like a "dad" and then she backs off because her REAL dad is the man who loved and raised her.  She keeps the relationship up because she wants to be there for her siblings...

Oh good land, there is a lot more to this than her being "Jealous" of her husbands attention toward his daughter.

When a person has been abused by their parent, they have no way of knowing what a "proper" relationship should be.  Monarch was asking if the picture thing was a good thing or not because she has NOTHING to judge a father/daughter relationship with.  The idea that the question is based on jealousy is ludicrous!

Monarch, where you had only been married a short time, it could be that your husband was still used to being "dad" and not husband.  It could be that his first thought was about his daughter since it had been that way for quite a long time. 

I have to agree, this is not the place to try to talk things out but then again, I have thought that for quite some time about many topics.

When you don't know what "normal" is, you either don't say anything, or you ask opinions.  You ARE going to be sensitive about things that you couldn't see yourself doing due to the abuse. 

I was never abused by my father, but I would never send a pic of me in a bikini.  My girls wouldn't send one of themselves in a bikini.  Now, if they were hanging out at a pool and someone took some pics, they would have no problem showing them to their father and I.

My husband is very protective of our girls, within reason.  I don't know as he was ever worried about someone leering at them except when there was a suspected or known child molester around. 

Is it possible, Monarch, that your husband saw something that you didn't?  That maybe while she was outside, coming in, someone looked at her and made your husband suspect that they were watching for her to come out again? 

Dads come up with stuff, Monarch, because it is a territorial cave-man thing.  Their kids are the most beautiuful kids in the world and he wants to keep everyone as far away as possible from them.  Because they are men, they know how they thought about girls when they were younger and don't want any guy thinking that way about their own girls.

Trustwomen, I think you have the right idea.  There is really nothing Monarch can do at this time.  She needs to keep in consideration that the way she looks at a father/daughter relationship has been skewed due to her own abuse.  She needs to keep her eyes open since she feels uncomfortable about her husbands relationship with his daughter, but not to the point where she thinks he has abused her.  She feels there could be something inappropriate, but at the same time, she knows she might feel that way because of her own past.  And there is NOTHING that can be done at this time because, as you said, she is 19, she does not live with him and both parties would most likely deny any accusations.  There is no hard evidence.

Monarch, I don't see it as creepy that you are concerned.  It is possible that you have these feelings because of your past.  You have learned to be alert to things that many people would not think about.  As long as you aren't seeing "monsters around every corner" I see nothing abnormal about your questions as to what is appropriate and what isn't.  And from the different answers here, you can see there is no "perfect" answer.  All you can do is watch and see what happens.

I was sick and ended up in the hospital last weekend.  I still can't eat much and most foods still turn my stomach.

I eat what sounds good.  After I got home, I had jello, ginger ale and apple juice.  The next day I tried cream of wheat, but I didn't really want it.  So I continued with the juice, pop and jello, and added dry toast.  Next day I had graham crackers.  And tried couscous which wasn't half bad.  Had a bowl again the next day.  Over the past couple of days I have added Ice Cream and after trying one day to make a chicken noodle soup, I managed to make it the next day.  I have had that a couple of times and it is pretty good. 

Now, the other night hubby made pizza and invited friends in.  I had a tiny piece.  I was in SO much pain I made up my mind to not try that again for several days...so I am sticking with the softer stuff.  I have also added chocolate milk...which I haven't drank in years.

So basically, I am eating what I want.  I can't eat salad, even the thought of it makes my stomach churn.  I can't eat meat yet.  I know that eventually my stomach will get back to normal and I will get back on track, but for now, until things straighten out, I am not going to worry about what I "should" be eating.

Original Post by stey21:

Im really saddened by this. We in this world, have no no NO desire to think about other's rights. We say we do, we are all about freedom and such, but in reality, we do the opposite. Our Freedom, should STOP where another's BEGINS...right? Well, we are NOT giving these children choices when they are born into a family where their mom is their dad, and their dad used to be their mom, but isn't anymore and now they have no idea who to go to when they have "girlie" issues or 'Boy' problems. And so much more than that. I am NOT against trans, lesbians,gays...I love my gay friends just as much as my straight friends. But I think we are all about "self self self", "I WANT TO HAVE A BABY NO matter if my baby will be confused, angry, beaten up the rest of its life!" Of course no one thinks the baby will be like that...."no no, not our kid, It'll be raised in the perfect loving home"....again not thinking at ALL about the future.

And here we are....On Oprah....The world is only getting better and better.

 So, you want to choose who can have children and who can't?  Most of the time a baby IS about "self".  It isn't "I need to do  my duty and have children to keep people on the earth".  It is "I want a baby to love, to carry on my name" or whatever...

Chances are these parents, messed up as you think they are, will understand that their child will be confused about some things.  And chances are they will be talking openly and honestly to the kids.  Remember, these people were probably confused about who they were when they were little...so they understand confusion.

As far as boy/girl issues.  I know of girls who go to their dads about "girly" issues rather than going to their moms because dad is easier to talk to.  I know boys who go to mom about boy issues because mom doesn't stutter and stammer about what is going on.  She gives them a clear understanding of what is going on.  My own children generally asked their father to run to the store for "girly" stuff and were not embarassed to do so. 

I know that this person is considered a man and that is the way he thinks of himself, but, Obviously he doesn't completely think of himself as male or he would not have considered giving birth to a child. 

Yeah, I know, lots of men have said "Oh, I wish I could experience it" but the reality is, so far, it isn't possible and they know it, so no one can call their bluff when they say that.

This guy COULD say it and COULD do it because he knew he was able, mentally and physically, to carry a child. 

I understand Monarch putting "male" in quotations.  She was not being rude and doubting that he looks at himself as  male.  But he IS in reality, PHYSICALLY a woman as far as the ability to have a baby and he KNOWS it.

I don't care if he considers himself a male.  I have no problem with that, but to call him a "pregnant male"...no he isn't.  Because the part of him that is carrying the baby is female from birth.

I actually eat MORE now that I have begun to change my eating habits.  But I am eating more fibre, more veggies, more fruits...more healthy stuff...and have cut out most of the not so good stuff. 

My body still trys to tell me I am hungry because it wants the junk food, bread, lots of potatoes, crackers and stuff I used to munch on.  But I just have a cup of tea (or two) or a glass of Crystal lite (I go easy on that stuff, but I have some every now and then) or a big glass of water...or I just tell my body to shut up for awhile because I am NOT eating.  lol  If I have a drink and then ignore it for 15 minutes or so, the "hungry" feeling goes away.

I seldom use butter.  I eat toast and bagals dry.  Same with veggies and potatoes.  It isn't that I don't like butter, I just don't need the extra fat.  It isn't worth it.

I would probably try rinsing the cauliflower.  It might work.