Posts by yeaubin1310

Original Post by revolution3:

Uggghhh I'm slipping you guys ):

I've been restricting pretty heavily over the past few weeks--to about 1200--and have been doing only some light strength training as exercise. I was maintaining well at 1800-2000 calories a day [with no exercise] and had leveled off at about 125 pounds [I'm pretty sure a majority of the 5 pounds I'd gained was muscle]. In an effort to lose 5 pounds I've been restricting.. I don't know if I'm losing weight because I don't own a scale, but I'm really reallllyyyy scared that I'm going to fall again. The first time I lost weight from 120 [January '07], I restricted to about 800 calories and lost only 4 pounds in four months.. and I'm just afraid that I might even gain weight by restricting, and maybe those 30 pounds I gained weren't an indication of my body holding onto weight after anorexia, but a sign of a thyroid problem, and that makes me toootaally depressed. I think it'll be a while before I can be able to get my thyroid checked, too.. I'm scared. but mostly just blaahh. I was doing SO well but became unhappy with the state of my body, so here I am. urgh :/

I don't even know how I'm supposed to feel anymore..

I know exactly how you feel. I have been restricting and exercising like crazy and I have gained weight, but eating more is scaring me, because I feel like I will just gain more. I don't know what to do. I felt like I was doing better. 

I don't know what is happening to my body.  I eat really healthy(vegetarian) and i know I am bad with eating during the day, usually about 1000cals once I am done with dinner, but I ate a lot i just eat a lot of low calorie foods (safe foods).  I mean I even had some cheetos and a fun sized snickers bar.  :-)  The problem is that I am gaining like crazy!  I admit that I somewhat "binge" at night but I am usually always under 2000cals, but this summer I have gained like 5 pounds.  I work out everyday (elliptical machine for 30-40minutes) and I don't think it is muscle because I have a huge stomach and flabby arms.  I am 110-112 and I look like I am 130.  Am I still in starvation mode?  Is there really a such thing?  I know I eat way too much cereal and I drink diet soda and carbonated water like no tomorrow.  i think i am just frustrated.  I know I don't want to lose weight, but at the same time I don't want to see the scale keep showing more weight.  I know I shouldn't even think this way.  I don't want to relapse, and I don't think my body would even let me (hence the eating ~1000 after dinner) but my OCD is flaring up again and I know it is bad but I refuse to go to the doctors to go back on meds.  I don't see my psychiatrist cause she isn't covered in my insurance and I hate my normal doctor...I hate doctors in general.  I guess I am digressing, but do you think I am in starvation mode or my body just hates me?

When I was being diagnosed I would only eat 3 bowls of ceral a day, 2 yogurts, and a serving of carrots.  I lost about 90lbs in like 6 months and my doctor, who was overweight, said he wished he had the same will power as I did.  Not very helpful.  It made me feel like I was doing "good", but I know that isn't the case.

I don't know what it is like for everyone else, but I am a recovering anorexic too and I gained the weight faster than I would have liked.  I am 22 and 5'5" and I was 90 pounds last summer and I am up to 110.  I don't know how you have the energy to workout.  I was always so lethargic, but I use my elliptical 6 days a week for 40minutes.  For me I eat about 1300 calories a day (when I don't binge), I exercise, and I still gained fast (10lbs in 4months heh I know doesn't seem fast to other people).  My doctors told me everyone is different, but that is my story. 

I feel your pain.  Last night I left a post but I was to ashamed to admit it.  I am a recovering anorexia that has turned to a night binger.  I have gained 15lbs by still managing to eat uner 2000 calories a day as well as maintaining an active lifestyle.   I exercise everyday and hate standing still.  I don't want to stick with all of these bad habits, but I feel so isolated cause I am trying to hide my night binges from my family, so I really have no one to talk to about it.  Once I start eating something, even just a little I can't seem to stop until I finish the whole thing.  I tried drinking water, chewing gum, but in the end I just can't sleep and I chew a pack of gum a day.  And this morning I am depereately trying to resist the temptation to workout for an excessive amount of time. 

oh wow I never knew that.  Thanks for letting me know.

I never was a binger. I think that I may be turning into one. I ate normally today and then this evening I went to a bar with a few friends and when I got home I couldn't stop eating! I tried to stick to around 1500 calories a day, but I had some popcorn when I got home, then some cereal, and then another bowl....and then some spoonfuls of ice cream. Now I feel horrible and antsy, and I don't know what to do.