Posts by sonini

I don't mind the show...

I just wish they would stop all the whining and have some fun! There are big, beautiful, and CONFIDENT women out there. I just don't like how the show is focusing on the girls who are crying every ten minutes because they have FINALLY found someone who will accept them how they are. Sure, we've all been treated poorly at some point in our lives because of our weight, but they shouldn't be focusing on that so much on the show. It's about having fun, going on incredible dates, and meeting the love of your life.

I've noticed the girls who are more confident are portrayed as bitches compared to the ones who are crying half the time because they are overweight. I just don't like the way it's coming off....

Anyways, I will probably continue to watch the show. However, I won't lie, when I was watching it last night, I spent most of the time on my elliptical. lol

Oh man.... I have missed soooo much! Time for me to do some serious reading... or maybe I'll just jump right in....

Work has been pretty busy... hense my absence from the forum.

I'm having a really hard time getting back into this. I have no idea why. It's things like - I'll have Subway for lunch, and I plan to get mustard, but then I get there and I'm like, meh, I really want mayo, I'm getting mayo - and then that totally throws my whole day off. I'll get home and be like, meh, I might as well have a little more spaghetti because I already had mayo at lunch. Ugh. I need to get out of this funk!

I'm sooo excited though. I bought a wii off of kijiji and I'm picking it up today. I just really hope it works! Then I'm going to go buy a wii fit and I'm hoping that will give me a little boost. I definitely need a boost.

Ok, time to eat my sub (yes, with mayo. ack) and do some reading/catch up.

Happy Hump Day!

Good morning ladies! Happy Hump Day!

So... over the last few days at work there has been a lot of people talking about mice sightings. It's been scaring the **** out of me because I am terrified of them. My heart starts racing and I start sweating just hearing about people talk about them. Heck, I'm totally freaking out right now just typing about it! But anyways, so last night after most people had left, around 4:40, I see one running under my desk! OMFG!! I screamed and put my feet up on my desk and started crying. I seriously thought I was going to have a heart attack because my heart was racing so fast. NOT COOL!! Apparently the pest control people haven't been coming often enough. Well, they are coming today! My manager put up a bit of a stink because she saw how bad I was yesterday. I'm just really hoping I don't have any encounters with mickeys later tonight after everyone leaves again. Man, that half hour between 4:30 and 5 is going to go so slowly today....

Well I just got told I have to take the early lunch today so I better get going and make the walk down to Subway!

I'm a Cheerleader - I have never seen this movie. Perhaps I should...

muppet - hope you are feeling better! Stupid crying stomach...

msn - I totally agree with what muppet said. But man, what a sucky situation! I guess it's good that he's cutting all contact with her, and the other friends... but it is still a little sketchy on his part for sure. Hopefully he has learned his lesson and it never ever ever happens again.

Ok ladies, hopefully I will have a chance to do more catch up later. I hate that I haven't been able to give you each your own shout-outs lately! Just know, I've been thinking about all of you!

Must go for lunch now or I won't have time to get food!

oxoxo

10 more minutes until weekend!! I'm so excited!! :)

OK girls, get up off! muppet has been mine from the beginning!
LOL.
Girl, look how loved you are!

Alright ladies, I am outta here for the weekend! I don't often sign on here over the weekend but I'll be talking with you ladies on facebook or BB!

xox

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCRLET!!!

Happy Hump Day everyone else! Only 2.5 more days until the weekend.. woohoo!

muppet - I feel you on being a food addict. I never really wanted to admit it to myself before, but I'm totally addicted to food. I love it. Everything about it. I can't stop eating it. Why can't I be addicted to exercise? That would be awesome. And not just the horizontal kind because that just doesn't seem to burn as many calories as it should. I totally wish we lived closer too! I would definitely go for walks, and double dates!! It really is so much easier to just go outside for a walk when you have someone to walk with. Ugh. Why have they not invented teleporting yet??

msn - I pretty much hate you. I looked nowhere even close to that when I was at 230. My god woman. You have an awesome build! I'm super jealous and that's why I hate you. I am suddenly inspired to do about a million sit-ups on my office floor.....

morgan - if I was a pastry chef.... oh man... I'd for sure be 400lbs.

port - I think continuing to ignore him is the best thing to do right now. Unless of course you are able to change your number and email address so that he can't contact you at all... But he'll go away eventually if you just keep on ignoring him.

ally - hurray for 151! Hopefully the scale will stay on your good side!

Ok, so I just spent like and hour and a half reading the last few pages of posts. Phew! I feel a little better now that I semi-know what is going on.

So, to touch on some of the topics that I remember:

Roommate Drama: In University I lived with a girl who claimed she was a Princess in her country and was just completely sketch. She would leave dishes out for months, when she took showers she would flood the bathroom floor, she would leave pee on the toilet seat, and had sketchy waxing parties with her friends where she would strut around naked - and she was not attractive. Unfortunately it has left me slightly on the judgmental side when it comes to her people - but I won't quite use the "R" word - (which, I might add, it doesn't help when 2 men from 'there' were in the elevator with me today and basically pushed their way out before me. Um, ladies first?? RUDE) Anyways... My other roommate drama involves my former best friend who came out as being gay last year. I did NOT get along with his boyfriend, and well, tension followed. But now that is done and now I only have financial stress, no more roommate stress! I definitely suggest talking  it out with the roommate and making your issues known... otherwise, it's just going to eat at you forever.

Sampling/Playing The Field/Love Life - oh man, I have one messed up past in this department. First it was the manic-depressive guitar player who persued me for a year when I was 19 before I gave in and dated him; he gave me a ring, and then got on a plane to Puerto Rico and married some girl he had been having an online affair with for 8 months. Actually, now it is a funny story, back then, not so much! Then, as a broken hearted 20 year old, it was the mexican who was about 20yrs older than me who told me he loved me and then raped me. After that it was the perfect, big, cuddly, manly-man, car-lovin, nice guy who was way too good to me but I couldn't tell him I loved him because of my previous issues, so he dumped me. Then it was the sex god who I was in a non-relationship with for 4 years who brought out the nympho in me lol. We had a casual relationship and I thought I was in love with him. However, that didn't stop me from 'sampling' while I was with him (after the first 2 years, I was totally devoted to him and his holy sexiness for the first 2 years). I only saw him once a month or so and so I felt I needed to fill in that other time. I met tons of guys online. I attempted to use sex to feel better about myself.  I really was the 'man' in those 'relationships'. Love em and leave em. Had my fun while it lasted. And then, I met Josh... and I became the girl again and have never been happier... which leads me to...

"The One" - Any of my serious relationships, I have always thought, at the time, that he was 'the one'. However, I was always wrong because this time I KNOW he is the one. There is a huge difference between thinking someone is the one, and knowing it. I never got that before. I get it now. It's weird how people say you will know, and you never really get it until, you know. I'm not necessarily saying that I don't think there may be more than one "The One's" for you, but I definitely think there is someone meant for you, at that particular time in your life. All of the first 3 'men' in my life all had to really persue me before I would enter a real relationship with them.. and then after that I only had casual relationships/hook-ups... until Josh. All of a sudden I felt like the giddy girl again and he asked me to be his girlfriend on our second date and I haven't looked back since. He makes me forget about my past. The past doesn't matter anymore, only the future. No one has ever made me feel this good.

akela - only you can decide what is right for you. 8 years ago, if my first boyfriend had come back to me and told me he had changed his ways, I would have taken him back. I would have let him try. If for 2 years after that he was perfect, well, I might believe he had changed but I would never ever forget what happened. Whether or not I would be able to live with it and be happy, I don't know.

Ahh.. hurray for slow-er days at work! I'm feeling so much better now lol.

So, my clothes are all way too tight so I better lose like 10lbs this week or I'm in trouble. I hate the sausage look that I have going on right now. Major muffin-top too...

Umm.... hi everyone.

I have been away for far too long this time. I have gained way too much weight this time. I hope I'm back for good, this time.

I have missed you all so much!

Life has been one big ball of stress, but I can't let that be my excuse any more.

Just wanted to say hello. I will hopefully have some time to read and do some catching up with all of you this week.

oXoXo

Hi ladies

Why isn't it Friday yet?!

I woke up feeling like **** today. I had a feeling this was going to happen. Felt a little stuffy yesterday morning and today is stuffy + scratchy throat. I'm guessing tomorrow it'll hit me full on. Great. The worst part is that if I try to blow my nose, nothing. But as I'm sitting here liquid is very slowly trickling out of my nose and down my face lol.

dalma - that is crazy. And totally sucks. Sorry, can't say anything to make it better. It just officially sucks. Mine is a week late, again, and I'm considering just starting my pills again and leaving it for next month.

Speaking of that, I'm stressed. So I'm pretty sure that's why my period is misbehaving. Part of me is ok with that though because it means no stoppage of the boyfriend time. Silly, I know. But here's the deal. Next month I have to go in for a procedure with my gyno which results in no sexy time for a month (minimum). I'm scared. No, not only because I'm a bit of nymph (thanks high testosterone levels), but becuase I'm just nervous about the procedure in general. For years I've been going to a specialist for my paps because I was having abnormalities with my regular paps with my family doctor. Well, now they have decided to do a procedure which is basically my gyno lasering the abnormal cells from my cervix. Umm... yikes! I've always been nervous about the fact that I had abnormal cells (pre-cancerous?) but the specialist always eased me by saying it was very common. But now I'm ultra nervous in that now they have decided they need to get rid of them. The first thing my sister (nurse) asked me was if it was from an STD?! WTF?! I certainly hope they would have told me if I had an S-freaking-T-D! Ugh. It's just stressing me out. Have any of you had anything like this done?

Ok. New subject. So, I thought I was doing really well today because they brought in Italian for lunch. I was going to completely avoid it and just make my Smart Ones meal but then I saw a huge thing of grilled vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower & carrots). Yum! So I thought I would just eat those, and that would be my lunch. Well, then I come on here and log my calories and WTF, the veggies were more calories than my meal would have been. Blah. I would have much rather had my Tuna Noodle Gratin. :(

muppet - good luck with those jobs. Well, hopefully you won't lose your current job... but.... I'll just keep my fingers crossed for everything!

Hi Ladies!

Just stopping in quickly to say Hi! I've been working on an assignment for a course I'm taking, and work has actually been busy today so I haven't had a chance to catch up.

dalma - omg, owning a house is uber-stressful! I can't even tell you the stress I am going through right now. Be on the lookout for a journal entry soon though. And the boy stuff... I totally get you. That would drive me crazy. I'd likely be throwing all of that **** away. I was over at Josh's house the other day and noticed some cologne sitting on his dresser. I made him give it to me to smell it (wasn't really a fan) and then randomly said "wait, is this from an ex?!" and he was like "ya, from a long time ago"... I was like "I don't care, you need to throw that out....now. You will NOT be wearing that" lol. And as for the other boy stuff, it probably has a lot to do with stress and stuff. But, I would definitely bring it up and have a talk after your birthday. You can't let things like that eat away at you for too long. I was feeling a little unwanted for a while because Josh was stressed with looking for a job and then when he found one, was tired from working nights. So nookie seemed to be the last thing on his mind. I made it clear to him that I was feeling a little rejected and that if he just needed to sleep, fine, but he damn well better have his arms around me while he's doing it. There haven't been any issues since. ;)
Hang in there.

muppet - have i told you lately that i love you?

dani - congrats on being so close to 80lbs lost! And 4lbs since Friday?! Wowza!

Oooh.. .time to leave work. Shall catch up some more later!

xox

Ugh. I hate being poor too.

Problem is, I also like going out, so I also end up paying for everything most of the time. See, I also like him to wear clean underwear, which means I also end up buying him underwear when he comes over unprepared. lol. At least he's finally left some at my place. Freaking filthy boys. Honestly. No, 3 days is not ok.

but it's true dalma, there is always something no matter how much money you have.

15 more minutes.... oh man, Fridays always go by soooo slowly!

Have a great weekend ladies!

OMG Dalma, I feel you! Josh is incredibly cheap. He's Dutch. That pretty much sums it up. (And since I'm half-dutch, it's ok for me to say that lol). Unfortunately, he's full Dutch and it shows lol. SOOOOOOOO cheap. I can't even believe he splurged to take me out for Wendy's last night!

I guess it's good though since I'm incredibly un-cheap so we compliment each other a bit, but I'm definitely with you on wanting to change him slightly. He doesn't see that you can do certain things for just a little more money but have a much better experience. It's probably good that you are planning your birthday weekend though. Maybe in another 10 years he'll be able to plan it for you lol.

Sorry muppet... I've been too busy 'tweeting' to talk on here...

Going to go warm up my lunch and then I'll try to find something interesting to say... lol

Original Post by dalmalama:

i totally forgot about our ass-kickings! please, kick mine some more!

 *kick*

Ok, seriously though. I know most people are just going to say "It's ok. Everyone screws up. Tomorrow's a new day. Blah Blah whatever"

Sure. The nicey-nice is good. But I come here to hear it like it is. You ladies are my conscience lol. Scold me when I'm bad. Help me avoid delicious temptation (food temptation that is). And when I need a good ass kickin, give it to me!

I really hate that I let myself screw up for a whole month and gain 10lbs. Part of it was because I didn't show my face around here in order to get that ass whooping.

And now I'm here to get it. And I shall return the favour.

Thank you all for the warm welcome backs!

I really have missed you all....

shoe sizes - I used to be an 11, but now I'm a 10W. I'm really hoping a normal 10 will fit someday. I'm sick of my big bohema feet! I have a major shoe addiction though, so maybe it's a good thing I don't fit into ALL of the cute stuff.

undies - I also have an underwear shopping addiction. I can't go into any store without browsing and very often buying. Especially now that I can get them at 'normal' stores. Woo! Gotta work your undies ladies. Nothing makes me feel sexier than knowing I'm rocking some hot undies under my jeans.

bras - I'm a 40B (terrified that I might some day be an A!). It has always been a battle to try to find a bra. Especially when I was more like a 44B. They just never seem to have them in the stores. Apparently large women are also supposed to have large breasts! Well, not this girl! So, basically I ended up wearing bras that were usually too big for me. :(  At least it wasn't too much of a problem because, since they were on the smaller side, they didn't hang too low lol.

breakfast - I eat oatmeal every morning at work. They have some really yummy flavours so I don't usually feel like I'm eating the same thing every day. pixie - do you like eggs? What about hard-boiling some eggs and having one in the morning. I've been thinking about doing that, and just eating the whites since I'm trying to watch the cholesterol. I'm also a fan of toast with BP and an apple. Yum.

cookies - please don't get me started. I have never been a cookie person until about a month ago, and haven't been able to stop since. I'm a new addict. Gotta kick this habbit.

Muppet - I'm glad we are not breaking up. I'll never leave you again!
When I'm on track, and I mean really on track, then my numbers tend to go down consistantly every day. I think that's the only reason I can actually stay sane while weighing myself every day. It looks like you are going down consistantly every other day. Maybe you should only weigh every other day? I think that's why a lot of people only weigh weekly. They can't deal with the fluctuations. But heck, we're tough chicks, we can handle it lol.

I am also not a big fan of yogurt, but I do usually eat it every day. Gotta get the calcium in since I'm not a big milk drinker either. They have some 'dessert selections' that are pretty good that I tend to stick to, or anything that is vanilla-y. Also, adding some granola to it definitely helps. I like it with some crunch lol.

watchme - hey girl. Thanks for the shout outs while I was 'gone'. I probably won't have a chance to go back and read everything though. I've been ok. Other than roommate/financial stress, life is good. Looks like I'm going to have to get caught up on your journals... boy issues I see? :(

akela - Great journal. Really, I think sometimes it takes writing things down before we really realize how obvious something is. Like, duh?! lol.  I think I might have to do something like it for myself. Hope you don't mind if I steal your idea!

topeze - "As somebody else said, there is no guilt (shame) in weight loss." - Thanks girl, but I still feel guilt/shame in weight gain though. Which is probably a good thing. Don't want to go back to the just-not-caring.

I'm having a decent day today. Stayed on track with my calories yesterday and walked to and from work. Feeling better about things now that I'm back here. Have a long way to go, but I'll get there.