Posts by jennifer58

Monalisamonkey... you made me laugh!  Thanks.  

I always listen to music and have a running chant in my head... why am I doing this?  why am I doing this?  :-)  Sometimes, if I get discouraged, tired, or have a negative feeling, I try to create a mental image of what the negative thing is ... for instance a pain looks alot like the Weight Watchers hungry fuzzy monster on the tv commerials... and I tell him to sit down and shut up, I am finishing this run.... LOL. 

I think you are right about those comments.  I just started using a 1/2 marathon training schedule and am only on week 2 so I dont think that's the issue.  I have always kept my calories at about 1700 -1900 a day and in the process dropped 100+ pounds.  I had my metabolism tested last month, around this time so I upped my calories for about 3 weeks.  I gained a chunk of weight the first week I upped them and it hasn't really moved since.  I measure my food with a weight scale.  I just gotta figure where I took a U-turn somewhere LOL.  I was going to blame it on running  LOL.  I went from running 3 times a week (about 3 miles each time) to completing a 10K running schedule up to a 1/2 schedule now. 

Thanks cicatrize.... Couch potato to 5k.  I started it last year and lo and behold... I am following a 1/2 marathon training schedule!  Its amazing what you can do when you simply decide you are going to do it! 

Welcome!  And thanks for the reply.  I am sooo impressed with your running and skills!  I am such a newcommer to this whole running thing.  And, to make things worse, I have a terrible headc old and just found out what happens when you try to run when you are sick!  Let's just say I couldn't tell the sweat from the snot... now, there's a hot image for you! 

I also appreciate the words of encouragement.  I've lost a significant amount of weight by counting calories and making a log on this website nearly every day.  It's amazing how many calories you eat without realizing it or keeping track. 

Thanks!

O....M.......F.......G....... who in the hell can run a mile in 5 or 7 minutes?  LOL.  I sincerely appreciate all of your responses.  I am at work at actually laughed at the last two posts...so thank you.  You are both right... pb999 and kriklaf.  I am great at obsessing and I think I need to scale down the things I can obsess over in relation to trying a first run.  I am 100% confident I can finish a 5k (might need a stretcher at the end when I try to break the land speed record) but I will finish.  LOL.

I think the best thing I've heard is... since it is my first race, it certainly is my PB and... since friggin winter is coming and nobody seems to want to run in the snow... I have alllllll winter to work on my speed, endurance and running faster.  I am thinking I am going to sign up. I am already obsessing over the potential weather for that day (told y'all I was a freak) cuz my running shoes (both pairs) are in pristine shape LOL... the idea of getting muddy makes me nuts!  Yep... that's what I worried about.  Oh.. and looking like a dork since I've never raced, never been to a race and don't know what to do when I get there.   FYI... at 75-78% heart rate, I am running 11:30 miles.  I seem to run faster miles when I am on the running track or outside.

Thanks for the reply.  When I run outside it's usually 3 to 4 miles.  I did do a long run outside about a month ago and it was 5 miles.  I have a hard time pacing myself outside ... I shoot outta da cannon and in 10 minutes I am exhausted.  The other reason I run on a treadmill is because I work out at 4 am and I am  not running outside in the dark by myself.  :-)

I know where the place is (the park containing said wooded trails) and i think I may go there just to see.  I also realize that... if I am going to run a race... I need to run off the treadmill so I can learn to pace better.  :-)

LOL... um I didnt really do any forumula for my max heart rate  LOL.  I have  a Polar F6 and didnt do the fitness tests.. yah, I suck.  I just strapped that sucker on last year and took off!  So since I am obsessed with this idea, I looked this morning and my max was set to 180.  WTF?  LOL.  So... I upped it to 186... just cuz.  I also tempo this morning for the first time ever and ... I ran 5 x 3 minutes with a warm up and cool down.. I popped my heart rate up to 91% and while it got difficult on the last set, it wasn't impossible and I didn't die.  I prolly couldnt have sung the National Anthem but I didnt pass out either and I wasn't exhausted. 

I am reading about all these little tests you can do to calculate max, etc... any of them worthwhile?  And finally, I have the opportunity, for a fee of course, to do a VO2 test next weekend for $45.00.  Would this put an end to all my questions or do I need to really do that?

Thanks!

I am pretty sure I know melkor's answer to this question ... the machines ... the machines (I hear Tattoo's voice in my head), would that start me off in the right direction at least?

In theory.. I know you are right  LOL.  In the real world... blah.  LOL.  I think I have a two fold problem ( welll, prolly many problems but lets focus on the topic, teehee).  I want to see a high calorie burn when I work out, I want to seeeeeee the numbers clicking off on my heart rate monitor for the efforts I am putting out.  When it comes to weights, I am not patient enuff, I want to see the high heart rate, fast calorie burn, etc.... I feel soo slowed down when I try to use machines and geeeze-louise, the idea of free weights is even slower and more mind wrecking!

Two... I dont know what the hell I am doing.  No offense melkor, but those rooms are full of big ole buffed puffed sweaty men  LOL.  They grunt and scream and slam ****... LOL.  I work out at 4:00 am and even then, they are there!  I dont know what I am doing so its scary and intimidating.  The treadmill, running track and elliptical are my friends  LOL!

But... I have not lost over 125 pounds to become skinny fat or to lose my high metabolism that running/cardio has given me.  Oiy.... I will start with your reading suggestion.  Isn't pilates or something going to do the same?

Please... LOL. 

Just to throw my thoughts in...

I finished the C25K program last year. When I first started,  I was overweight and out of shape.  Former smoker, etc...every reason to never run.  I never never thought I could run or that I would like it.  Whale.....

I haven't stopped running since!  I am not a race kinda gal... so I just challenge myself and run different training programs and finish each one.  I ran a 5k program and finished it.  I ran a 10K program and finished it! I am currently running a 10 mile training program.  I run about 5.5. to 6.0 mph each session.  I sometimes run hills, fast laps, etc...  Still not sure I am doing everything 100% right but I am so hooked on running!  All because this fat girl tried the C25K program! 

I am for the most part a treadmill runner but I am trying to run outside 1 day a week to figure out to make my own pace, etc...and it is getting easier to run outside!  You all should be proud of yourself! 

Go thinmint!  I will tell you, I've been going thru this since May 07 and I've lost almost 125 lbs.  I have about 10 more to go.  I know everything you feel and I think I can tell you, it gets better.  LOL. I think.    I am losing that person I used to be and I am starting to really like the person I am becoming.  The new person cares about how many calories are in what I eat, how long or often I've worked out, etc.... because I care about me.  I think you, and everyone in here, should be applauded for all your efforts and, for surviving the unspoken emotional side of all this.

Yay us!

I know every single thing you said and I have been there.  I personally had given up two years ago.  I reached my highest weight ever and I just mentally, emotionally and physically gave up.  I thought it had gone too far for me to ever lose weight and I was so embarrassed.  I knew everyone was passing judgement on me and my weight.  I was scared to lose weight and am still experiencing some degree of being scared to finish and win. 

All I can tell you is... you have to keep trying.  I got so **** frustrated starting over each morning because I had failed the day before.  I got tired of trying.   But you can't give up, you just can't.  Its very daunting and scary.  I wore my fat like amour and it was my comfort, despite the fact that I hated it.   I too was scared of what I would look like when it was all gone, etc... I had a voice in my head telling me all the terrible things that were going to happen if I lost weight. 

I stumbled and still do (see previous post from this morning!) but YOU are worth it.  You are worth the effort.  You are.  Now... you say it.... You are worth it.   

Awww, thank you for your words of encouragement.  I am in the middle of losing my weekend weight ... LOL.  I am feeling great and thinking, of course I can lose that 7 pounds and reach my goal.  We'll see what happens this weekend. 

But this is a great thread becuase I really thought I was the only one who had all these struggles and overwhelming emotions.  I thought I wasnt normal because I had all this negative stuff boiling inside.  But again, I know it will get better and I know I will get through this.... just like everybody reading this!  We will survive and get strong.   Now, if I could just stop singing Gloria Gaynor... I will survive....

(Now you know how old I am!  LOL).

Just to chime in... I agree, the problems you had still exist after losing weight but your mental approach to them are different.  I found myself to be kind of negative alot and looking at the dark side of stuff when I was fat.  I say fat because I was fat, not just heavy, over-weight, etc... I was fat.  I'm 5'6" and I weighed... umm, well, let's just say I lost 125 pounds.  LOL.  Anyway, I am kind of surprised that my attitude changed, more positive, and I still have money problems, worries, etc... but I see things different now, because I truly believe, anything is possible. 

I feel guilty posting replies because I just had an "off" weekend and I am not sure why.  I have playing with the same 3-5 pounds for about 2 months now.  I am going to go off topic for a minute, but if you will stick with me, I'll get back to it LOL.  I am very close to my original goal weight, less than 10 pounds to go.  I have been doing this strange thing for about 2 months, I eat about 1700 calories a day and work out every day (running, lots of cardio) and burn about 2600.  I eat what I want, just very small portions because I am not dieting, just losing weight.   I weigh every day and track my progress for calories and weight. 

Anyway, I get to Fridays and I've lost 3 pounds (5 pounds to go!) and by Monday morning? I've gained anywhere from 3 to 5 pounds back...this is a f'ed up pattern I am in.  So I spend the following week getting those pounds off and by the following Friday, I've lost the "weekend" weight.   I gain weight becuase I am having these moments during the weekend... I eat and eat (umm, this weekend it was Robin Eggs, Peanuts, and onions rings!!) and do it uncontrollably.  I still work out but I am over-eating.  I need to figure out why I am intentionally sabotaging myself.  Umm.. sabatage... errrr... you know the word! 

It brings me back to this post.  I am afraid of finishing I think.  But why?  So, the ultimate point is, emotions and food will always go hand and hand with me. I have to learn to cope and deal with it ... but I promise you, it does get easier.  I am working on why I have been messing around with these last 10 pounds for almost 2 months and I will figure it.  I will stop my weekend weight gain/mini-binges.   Why?  Because I know I can.   

I am so with you on those emotions.  I'm down 125 lbs.  Should be proud huh?  I am in the phase where I have not forgiven myself for letting this happen.   I lost 60 pounds in 2000 and I thought I beat it and had won.  Umm, no.  In 2004 I started gaining weight and put the 60 back on and thennnnnnnnnn added another 50 lbs to it to reach the highest weight ever in 2007!

I am angry at myself.  NOBODY knows how much weight I've lost because I am embarassed that I got that fat in the first place.   I am scared to death that I am going to let it go again.  I mentally picture my weight problem as the tazmanian devil (bugs bunny!).  Right now he is quite and in a cage, fully contained.  I am scared to take my eyes off him in case he gets out!  This is another emotion/feeling for me, obsession over losing control. 

I think I need to lose another 10 pounds.  Now I am pissed off that I am hitting a plateau.  Really?  Now? For the first time my weight loss stalls?  WTF?  LOL. 

And I am tired  LOL.  I get tired of obsessing over calories, exercise, losing that 10 pounds, etc...  Last night while watching the Biggest Loser I cried the entire time because the contestants where experiencing a lot of these kinds of emotions and its simply tough to handle! 

But... thank you for writing this post... because now I know I am not alone in these feelings and am not a complete freak.  Or, at least, I know there are other freaks like me.