Posts by ukjane23

I just weighed myself for the first time in 10 days and I have not put on any weight. I actually haven't put any on for about three weeks. I'm really disappointed as I thought for sure I'd put more on.. My clothes are tighter and everything.

Everyone who isn't on 2500 at least and is scared of gaining you need to EAT MORE. I am on 3000-3500 and I am NOT putting on weight. Seriously, you need to up, up, up and keep upping until you see a significant gain.

Dolly: Well done, you're doing great, I love mushrooms so may nick that recipe. Are prelims mocks? I feel old and only did my GCSEs 7 years ago!

Mashed: Yay you're doing really well too! Do you feel the same way about not gaining - terrified of putting on the weight but when you realise you haven't put any on you just feel so let down and disappointed? It's a bit of a reality check isn't it? Loving your new attitude!

Clay: Doughnuts! (though I can't eat them - dairy intolerance :(

Lady: Good work!

Gilly: Same thing happened to me, keep eating as it is just water weight, trust us. I didn't believe it either! Keep your cals up to even it out!

Where's Gibbit?

xxx

Hey guys,

Just checking in. Been trying not to be so obsessive recently with counting and reading and also very busy at the moment. I'm also going away in a week and not sure how much access I'll have to computers so trying to wean myself off.

I've stopped trying to count as much. Well, I'm still sort of counting and I think like many here I will always know at some level how many calories I've had just because I've taught my brain to know that. But I've stopped logging and trying to eat intuitively but at the same time making sure I eat regularly and in greater quantities.

I'm still finding it difficult but a lot easier than I did a few weeks ago and I know it's to a large extent thanks to the support of the brilliant people in this forum. Thanks so much guys, you are all amazing, strong and caring people and I hope you continue to make leaps and bounds in recovery as you've all come so far.

Ginger: Welcome! Yup you need to compensate for exercise, and as Lala said, as a guy, you need more calories than the girls anyway (that said I'm on around 3500 :p ) 

Alserina: Welcome also! Sounds like you're doing very well so far, good menu!

Lala: You're tall O_O

Lady: Welcome to you too! That is a good goal....I think! This site has really helped me, you're in the right place for support. What are your calories like?

Aqua: Lol way to play with the therapist's mind

Mashed: Glad your libido is returning ;) hope the entertaining isn't too tiresome

Butterfly: That's ED talking, you can not have too many carbs when you're trying to gain!

Dolly: I love love cookie dough. Phish Food is also yummy, it has little chocolate fishes in :)

Hey guys,

Sorry I haven't posted in a while been quite busy. Still doing ok at eating, I'm finding the going away thing great motivation and when I do find  myself wanting to restrict I say to myself "What happens in 3 weeks when you're in a strange cold country and there's no food?" and I eat.

Gibbit and Clay: I totally sympathise. Most of the time I feel ok but if I walk past a mirror I get a shock as I look like I've put on loads of weight. My butt is huge! And all my work trousers are too tight now. Though I'm sure I don't really look this huge, it's probably our distorted self image, and we're so used to being really thin that anything more than that feels fat. It's stupid though as I'm probably still the thinnest person I know. And Gibbit my stomach is also huge where it never was before - I'm putting it down to the amount of food as even when I was eating normally I obviously wasn't on 3000+ calories a day. Also hear you on the boobs, that's never going to happen for me!

Zeb: Glad you've cut down on the exercise. I also had that problem, and I've just cut it out entirely (well, down to 3 light sessions a week). Keep up the good work!

Slr: Really really sorry for you.

Okie: What's going on? You've been doing so well. Maintaining isn't enough - you need to boost your metabolism and more importantly you need to gain!

Food for yesterday:

B: Pitta bread with peanut butter, banana, apple

S: Dried fruit and nuts

L: Tuna sandwich

S: Juice, banana

D: Chicken tomato spicy pasta  dish in restaurant, and some bread and oo

I think I only hit 3000 yesterday, I always eat less when I go out!

Hey,

Thanks for your advice on my gain/loss guys, but O_O up my calories? I'm already on 3600. Bring on the peanut butter! I can't believe I was so worried about putting on weight for so long and now I'm worried about NOT putting on weight. At least my metabolism seems to be working now!

Aqua: Ugh adolescent issues, how rude! I remember my mum saying something similar when I was a teenager and it really belittles what you're going through. Hope new clinic is better!

Gibit: I am totally worried about eating without counting. I already do that as the weekends and when I get round to logging my food it's always about 1000 calories under. I'm going travelling, first stop is the Trans-sib railway, in December O_O

Dolly: Liking the snacks! I have also been over estimating my nuts. Really well done on going over 2000! Hope chest pains settle down. And you should always have a chocolately breakfast because you do need to treat yourself :)

Mashed: Your dinner sounds really yummy :) Good luck for weigh in, and I'm glad you're feeling ok about it. Hope you gain!

Lala: Thanks, I'll work on it! Also thanks for the portion pictures, they're very useful!

Ichigo: Hi! Good luck on your eating! Once you get used to 2000 though you'll have to up to at least 2500.

Likearock: Yay to the tiramisu - good job!

Afone: At least another 9 lbs to go to 8.5 stone. And I set off in 2 weeks! Glad you had a good night last night and well done for eating dispite yuckiness. I love cocktails :D Ooh are you going to study medicine? I thought you were already at uni?

Clay: Aw thanks. Yes I've had a few "compliments" like that recently: "you're not as frail looking as you were last time I saw you" being my favourite. Sorry to hear about the run-in with your mum, but she is probably just really worried about you. Hanging up actually sounds like the best reaction tbh if she was drunk. Best to talk when she's sober and explain how long the process takes. . And I love Narnia. I would like to live there. Everyone is nice and helpful to each other (apart from the evil ones) and there is unlimited turkish delight!

Foods:

B: Porridge, dates, banana, seeds, honey (825)

S: Dried fruit mix (300)

L: Probably tuna sandwich and fruit

S: Nuts

D: Not sure yet

Dolly: Yay to chocolate! And you must have our weather from yesterday, it was horrible and cold and rainy all day. Good weather for curling up in front of the fire with hot chocolate though! And you can totally up your snacks and meals! I had a handful of nuts this morning which I think was close to 300.

Gilly: Hi, welcome! You sound like you're doing great. The eating gets easier once your body gets used to it. My BMI wasn't that low so I never stopped doing exercise (well, I've stopped doing cardio but I still do resistance and strength training). I should think yoga and pilates would be ok as they're quite gentle. Maybe start off with one or two classes a week and see how you get on?

Spek: Hi! You are not weak you are still fighting! Don't apologise we all want to suppport you and each other. Good luck with the tube feeding.

Gibbit: Ooh I do love porridge I may check that out. Yeah I know what you mean, I always used to make sure half of what I ate was vegetables but now that would mean I'd have to eat a truckload of food and my poor belly can't cope as it it.

Likearock: Well done on eating out, especially somewhere like a tapas place. I always get confused when I share food, I'm much happier when I have a plate of food and can see exactly what I'm eating and how much. Perhaps your new goal should be to move away from "safe" foods. Try one thing a day which is "unsafe"?

Clay: I'm  amazed I can inspire you but I'm really glad I did :)  I'm going away in 2 weeks - to Siberia :-/ so I have a really tight timeframe to get my weight up. That is my motivation for eating and putting on the weight, because I know I need to for my health and safety, and even then it's difficult. I can't believe for so long I punished my body and basically starved it. We should all look after our bodies because our health is so important and some people aren't so lucky (e.g. cancer) and whilst none of us would say we chose to have an ED it's not the same as having a physical disease. Sounds like you had a great day yesterday, well done and keep it up!

Afone: Enjoy your meal out! Ok maybe wait until you know you're seeing him or not and then text. He could be thinking the same thing. I am having a similar dilemna with a guy, I think he likes me and kind of want him to say/do something before I go away but not sure whether I should make the first move.

Food so far:

B: Porridge, dates, banana, cocoa powder, almond butter, seeds (900!)

S: Dried fruit nut and seed mix (250)

L: Tuna sandwich and orange (600)

S: Dried fruit (200)

D:(planned) Rest of my pork stir-fry from last night and rice (800)

= 2750. Grr. More snacks needed!

Dolly: You inspired me to have a chocolatey porridge for breakfast, and it was super yummy! Sorry things aren't great at home, I understand as I've been there. Really well done on eating anyway, that shows real strength. Good luck at the doctors!

Clay: That is such a cute costume! Great idea. I totally sympathise on the "junk" food thing, I do the same thing. We could try and set targets of eating one "junk" item a day until we realise it's not going to kill us!

B: Porridge with dates banana and cocoa powder - tres chocolatey and goooood :)

Evening all

Sorry no time to post replies but food today

B: Porridge with banana, dried fruit and nuts

L: Burger!!! (FF) AND chips (FF) and I ate it all, even the bun. Was scared and didn't want to eat it but I think I'm starting to get over the mental stuff. It helped being with friends this weekend

S: Apple and cereal bar

D: Pasta and vegetables (My housemate made a big deal out of how much I was eating for my dinner even though she knows I'm trying to put on weight with annoyed me some and I almost put some back because of it but I didn't!)

Not sure of calories but hopefully I hit 3000 at least. My breakfast was definately 1000! Though when I don't count I'm sure I eat less as I don't feel as full and I'm sure I lose a bit of weight. Or maybe I'm just less bloated. Hmm

Hope food going ok for everyone. Dolly and Mashed did you get to 2000 again today? :D

Gibbit and Theo hope you feel better, lots of vitamin C is needed!

Sorry I missed out loads of peeps! (peeps?!)

xx

Dolly: "Eat" bars are really yummy but super nutritious and healthy, and also fairly calorie dense. They have then in lots of flavours like dark chocolate and macademia nut or apricot and almond. Get another cookie with your subway sandwich too :) I dunno but I would go for 3000 definately. I'm on about 3500 and it's actually good when the weight starts going on. I was really terrified about how I was going to look but I can honestly see I already look loads better and healthier, but I still have a way to go.

Gibbit: Welcome back! Glad you had a good time despite cold (I have one too and sympathise)Remember it's not about the other person eating, concentrate on what you need to eat!

xfalling: Well done on the gain! I thought I was past the water weight stage but I lost 2 lbs between tuesday and friday. I've seriously put on a stone in about a month though and was slightly worried, but what does it matter in the end? Surely it's a good thing as we all need to put the weight on - and the faster the better.

Charlie: Have you also seen the "Pre-Christmas special" coffee in Starbucks? Cherry mocha - you should try a large one with ff milk"

Seeing some friends this weekend I haven't seen in a couple of months. I'm actually really looking forward to eating normally and them seeing I've put weight on, as they've been worried about me for a while. Going out for lunch twice AND dinner so I'll make good use of that and kick ED's ass!

Have good weekends everyone and happy bony butt kicking

xx

I just had sweets :) Left over candy from Halloween someone brought into the office.

Food for yesterday:

B: Porridge with soy milk, dates, raisins, almonds, sunflower seeds, honey

S: Muesli with soy milk

L: PB and J sandwich

D: Lentil and rice gloopy thing I made with vegetables

Got to about 2700, oops. But was over the 2 days before so it evens out. Back on track today!

Good luck Lulu if you read this before you go. The more you eat the sooner you get out, and I hope everything goes well for you. *hugs*

Dolly: Glad you're feeling better! Keep upping!

Gibbit: Yay things have really turned around for you this week!

Mashed: Well done on the offer! You are tres brainy. I love Oxford, and I live near Warwick. What are you going to study? And yes, great incentive to beat ED!

Afon: Aw I completely understand, things that you look forward to and build up never go as well as you want them too. Enjoy your do tonight!

Yesterday my friend said to me my skin looked really good. I said "Oh no I'm really spotty at the moment" (this started when I started eating loads, some kind of hormonal imbalance I guess) and he said "No, the last couple of weeks you've got this new healthy glow about you". So even though I'm spotty, the eating is still making my look better yay!

No boob dreams today ;)

Are you in the UK? The American threshold is 20 and the UK threshold is 18.5, not sure why there's a difference. Also no idea what it is in other countires. I go with 18.5 because I live in the UK.

I find bread quite bloating to be honest, and generally try and avoid having too much. Try things like rice, pasta and couscous for your main meals.

Can't sleep so watching election progress and eating a bowl of porridge - I figured if I couldn't sleep I may as well eat!

Dolly, Falling and Pumpkin (and anyone else) good luck in the exams! Remember also if there's any time you need to eat it's now - your brain needs the extra fuel!

Thanks for the sweet comments about the picture, but, er, I don't look anything like that now (blonde, skinny, spotty and pale) and also that was after a makeover at a professional photo shoot so I never looked like that in real life anyway. Still, it's motivating as people say!

Went out for dinner tonight/last night and had spaghetti bolognese - really bad at estimating but I'd say about 1000 cals as it was a pretty big portion. Puts me at 3000 for the day, plus my midnight snack which is like 700- can be for today and tomorrow!

Clay: :) Thank you but see above. Your pic is cute too ;) Can you add invisible calories to your food? Like make your oatmeal with milk and add dried fruit (is what I do, and how I get it to 700-1000 cals - and less scary as it doesn't look that much!)

Charlie: Don't worry I don't have milk anyway (lactose intolerant) and I was more curious than scared - luckily I never bothered much about sodium - well I avoided it but like a normal person does (not like the way I avoided fat and sugar for example) Like you say though, if it's naturally occuring it can't be bad for you? Unless the cow eats lots of crisps :)

Mashed: You lost weight on holiday didn't you? In which case a big gain will be good to compensate for what you lost. It would be a good sign because it would show how much your body is healing if it can take the weight straight back I think at this stage. And if it isn't such a big gain then that's just more incentive to up your cals. Eat the whole potato! And if you fight it one teaspoon of lurpak at a time that's one teaspoon more than yesterday, right?

Lulu: !!! *hugs* omg when are you going in? And for how long? I'm really sorry it's come to this but I guess if the hospital gives you the support you need it may be best in the long run..... I know how hard you tried though and how much you wanted to get better on your own. Keep on battling though, the sooner you get better the sooner you get out and back to your life so that means eating properly today and tomorrow and until you go in! Good luck hun

Falling: Thanks :) but see above - professional pic. Yeah I hate those adverts, they are so triggering, and completely irresponsible. Way to go on not weighing! I have exactly 10 dates in my porridge. I get upset if I run out and there's only 7 left or something haha. And totally understand about the consistency worry.

Agru: Yay to the lunch - and the jeans! I have outgrown a few pairs of trousers in the last few weeks - and thrown them away as I never want to be able to fit into them again!

Afone: Ooh you have your period - jealous! (Maybe not of the cramps) You row? As in boats?

Pumpkin: Thanks! Peanut kitcat? Is that real? Good luck on the sausages (and test :) )

I feel like I have less energy now than I did when I was eating about 1400 calories a day and doing 2 hours in the gym. I am definately eating more than enough for energy! Is that because I was running off adrenaline? Or because my body feels like it can finally rest and relax as it's getting food?

I'm finding it quite easy to stay motivated at the moment. I have put on a stone in 3-4weeks which sounds crazily impossible, and I definately have an extra layer on my body but it really doesn't seem like a whole stone's worth. I'm leaving for Siberia in 3 weeks and I know I need extra layers for that so it's really keeping me going. I just hope I can keep it up afterwards. Had a conversation with a friend earlier and she said in an offhand way "All the guys I met travelling had lost weight and all the girls had put on weight" and I started panicking and asking loads of questions "Why?! How?!"

Anyway, sorry I'm rambling. Guess I should try and sleep......zzzz

Hellloooo lovelies,

I really cannot keep up with all the postage!

Charlie: Way to go on cereal and trail mix and milk! Does milk have sodium in? I wouldn't have thought that.

Gibbit: Sorry to hear you had a bad time the other night. How are you feeling now? I feel exactly the same when I'm away from home. It's crazy because we probably eat the same or less even when we're not at home but because we can't plan and measure and have exactly what we want it all goes out of the window and you feel like the world is caving in..... You are stronger than this though - you've been doing so well! Hope it gets better.

Aqua: I wear contacts! Sorry to give you further conflicting advice but I think monthly disposables are the best. They're cheaper than dailies but still comfy and you can change them fairly often. It's best to chat to the optician though and get some personal advice.

Theo: Hmm, portions. I've been trying to have at least 100g of pasta and rice as bigging up the old portion sizes. Also, I sympathise with the height dilemna. I used to think I was 5'6", then i got on the scales at boots a year ago and it said I was 5'5". Measured myself the other day and I'm like 5'5.9"! So that skews out all my calculations and I'm more underweight than I thought I was and have to put on more weight to get my BMI up. And I've been missing an inch for the past year. Hope the rugby boys make nice food. They may surprise you in their culinary skills....

Falling: I used to love herby cheese pre-lactose intolerance. Have you tried Edam with herbs? And Wensleydale with herbs? Yummy!

Mashed: How's the flu? I'm getting another cold ugh

Dolly: Glad you're seriously thinking about a doctor!

Clay: Hello I haven't seen you before. Well done on the foodage - especially the brownie!

SLR: My hair is also starting to fall out lots. It always happens when I start eating properly again. Think of it though as your body finally relaxing because it's getting the nutrients it needs, so it can let go of what it's been holding onto...does that make any sense?

Sorry I don't have time to respond to more (as usual!)

I have copied SLR and Clay and put a pic of me 2.5-3 years ago when I was at a healthy naturally slim weight. I think my target is a bit more than this though.

Weighed myself last nihgt and I have just pipped 8stone! Which gives me a BMI of 18.1 yay! I'm "normal"!

Been thinking - so many people on this thread are either involved in acting or drama or studying theatre, and I know one person in real life with an ED and she's doing performing arts at uni. There's obviously something in there - I guess the fact that you're in the limelight and people are watching you and what you look like is so important....

To those who asked, yes I do Kung Fu. The last few months I seem to have been half doing Kung Fu because I didn't have the strength and energy to make the effort, but at the weekend I actually knocked out a few punches - and I was fighting ED!

Foodage:

B: Porridge, soy milk, dates, almonds, honey, sunflower seeds

L: Homous salad sandwich, banana, apple

S: PB+J sandwich (I never ate these in my life before I discovered this thread haha)

D: Maybe going out - spag bol?

New target weight is 124 lbs, 12 lbs to gain, back on 3600 according to the calculator! 2000 so far today.

 P.S. My facebook status  - Jane would not like to go on a supermodel diet/lose 10lbs in a week/get a flat tummy and thinks facebook is very irresponsible in 'advertising' this sort of stuff.

I'm getting all political!

my beans on toast was actually 1000 calories as I had a whole can of beans and olive oil on the bread, I think that's quite impressive.

Slr: Over how much time did you lose 3 lbs? Did you weigh yourself at a different time of day? I lost a lb overnight last week but I put it down to the fact I hadn't eaten as much the second day. I guess the only thing to do though is up the cals again! Good luck!

Aqua, yeah our clocks went back last week. Is good though - an extra hour of eating!

Okie: Glad you're talking about your ED, even if in a roundabout way. Do you feel a bit like there's a weight taken off your shoulders (unintended pun...) Gal your mum was understanding too!

Pumpkin: I LOVE high calorie porridge. It's such an easy way to get loads of calories in. I make mine with porridge oats, soy milk, dates, raisins, almonds, sunflower seeds, mashed banana, almond butter and honey. The trick is in lots of dried fruit and nuts and seeds and nut butter. You don't even notice how much is in it and don't feel TOO full, plus it tastes super yummy. And I love roast dinners with all the trimmings. Good luck and make sure you have a bit of everything, think of how good it tastes and how much you need the calories. Mm, I really want a roast now....

OMG there are 5 pages since I last posted. Our internet broke on Friday and it's only just come back. To be honest I felt a bit better when I wasn't obsessively logging everything but I don't feel as full as I did when I was counting so I'm probably under.....also our kitchen scales have gone missing so I have spent about 3 hours over the past 3 days searching for them every time I have something to eat. Am having to estimate but feel I may be overestimating.

Halloween party went well. I had soup and an avocado beforehand and didn't eat any of the party food BUT I had a bowl of porridge after everyone had gone home.

Yesterday I saw my uni friend who I haven't seen in 2 years. She kept looking at me in THAT way, I assume most of you get it too....? Kind of looking at my body with a half concerned, half they want to say something but not sure what or how. Then I mentioned I was bulking up for my trip and she looked relieved and went on about how that was a good idea. We went out for lunch but I look about an hour to eat mine (like Mashed - one piece of sweetcorn at a time!). However I had chicken which was oily AND chips - chips!

Last night I went to a wedding reception and there was a hog roast so I had a roast pork sandwich. Pulled out the fatty bits but I ate the rest and it was huge! And had rice salad and veggies. So didn't count yesterday but I'm sure I got to over 3000 as there were some high fat foods in yesterday's menu!

Glad most of you look to have had a good Halloween.

Lulu: I'm sure the assessment doesn't necessarily mean hospital....well done for talking to your mum about it. I'm sure if  she sees how committed and serious you are she'll want to help you your way.

Afoneleri: Ooh a date! Good luck, let us know how it goes.

xfalling: I know what you mean about how a binge for us is normal eating for other people. Last night I was so proud I had eaten my pork sandwich and thought it was gainer food, then I look round and everyone else was eating stuffing and crackling with theirs and having seconds. And most of them had had dinner beforehand! Well done on the biscuits though :) and glad you understand the porn thing - I spent ages yesterday wandering around Selfridges food hall and staring at all the food.

Dana: Hope you feel better! I read another post the other day where someone had binged on celery and felt in pain because of the fibre thing. WEll done on going over your calories though!

Hi Crunchy nuts - (I love crunchy nut cornflakes!) good luck with your gaining and remember to eat through the hunger! Keep at it and you'll start feeling hungry again. I've been doing this for 3 weeks and whilst I don't feel hungry at meal times if I one is late now I do start getting  hungry!

Food for today:

B 1000 calorie porridge :D

L Probably beans on toast

D Dunno yet.

No time for snacks as going to Kung Fu this evening and got up late so didn't have breakfast till 11.30. That'll be 1000 calories each for lunch and dinner then :-