Posts by taywies

haha i know i shouldn't be focusing on calories....it's just that today is the first "off" day i've taken in probably a month and a half (ie no weight lifting or cardio) and the ED isn't liking that too much.

thanks so much for the replies! i really appreciate them!

starcrossedlove: was it a wisdom tooth surgery? what the hell happened to go wrong?!?! I have never heard of it taking that long to recover. i am so sorry you had to go through that!! :(

aqua- i have a question. i have been craving ben and jerry's a TON lately. how much do you typically have? just curious.

hi!! i totally know what you're talking about w/ appearing more "muscular" but seeing no real gain on the scale. i don't have a super-scientific explanation, but i went through the exact same thing when i initially started "recovery". i say "recovery" because i wasn't eating to gain, but rather maintaining my weight. however, i did notice that whereas before my arms were really skinny and lacking muscle, they became more shapely (while still being skinny). i think your body composition is changing a bit is all. but if you haven't seen any real gain on the scale, you know what that means.. :)

Hey,

I don't really have much to say other than I totally know what you're talking about. I too have a larger ribcage with little to no chest (depressing) so I totally get what you mean when you say "it makes your core appear larger".

Unfortunately, it is just a matter of accepting your body for what it is. =/ I'm recovering from an eating disorder and I have been trying to tell myself that. Just wanted to let you know you aren't alone!! Just remember that everyone's bodies are different..

check out this study:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12052530

it's a study regarding body image distortion and anorexia. an fMRI was taken when an anorectic patient was shown pictures of her body image, and the finding was that the brain's "fear center" (the amygdala) responded, indicating that there is something negative and fearful regarding an anorectic's perception of herself.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14625446?o rdinalpos=1&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.P ubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_DiscoveryPan el.Pubmed_Discovery_RA&linkpos=1&log$=relatedarticles&logdbfro m=pubmed

another study using fMRI technology where anorectic patients were shown pictures of themselves, and several brain structures, including the pre-frontal cortex (which is involved in "higher-level thinking" and perception of self) were activated, though only when the patients viewed pictures of themselves and not others.

http://linkinghub.elsevier.com/retrieve/pii/S 0925492701000932

this study, possibly the most relevent to your case, points toward the neurological basis of anorexia. using a technique similar to fMRI (voxel-based, morphometry, still not quite sure what it is but I think it sort of tracks the activation of sites in the brain), scientists found that there is essentially "faulty wiring" in the brains of anorexic patients. The medial prefrontal cortex and the anterior cingulate gyrus were "hypofused", meaning that the usual connection and circuitry was far weaker than it is in normal patients, while the connection between the thalamus and amygdala (again, centers responsible for perception and fear/anxiety) was "hyperfused", meaning it was way stronger than it should be.

i know that was a lot of listing of brain regions, but it the specifics in this case are very important. because of the hypofusion in this circuitry, the "logical" areas of the brain responsible for reasoning, making good judgments, etc. are not functioning as optimally as they are in healthy individuals. additionally, the areas that are hyperfused result in an increase in anxiety and fear, specifically to food and body image.

hope this helps. i'm not a doctor, but i do have some understanding of neuroscience. I am also recovering from an eating disorder and am working w/ a doctor who is a specialist in anorexia/overexercising, and she has explained this to me as well. but there is some hard evidence for ya! anorexia actually results in brain damage/rearrangement.. which really sucks..

good luck to your friend, and i hope this helps. feel free to ask any other questions =)

Hey all,

I've been lurking on this thread for a while now, and I decided that it's time to start posting! I would just like to say that I no longer know how many calories I eat, and quite frankly, I don't want to count. So that's a step for me.

On Waking: Cappuccino w/ about a TBSP of hot cocoa powder, 2 prunes

Breakfast: 1 egg + 1 egg white, spinach, 1/4 small avocado, 1/3 tomato, 1 sm chicken sausage, 1 light english muffin w/ about a tsp of jam

Later: 1/2 Banana + 1/2 Kashi Crunchy Bar

Lunch: 3 or 4 oz. chicken, over 1 cup of spaghetti with marinara, a bite of some mushroom/cheese thing (ahh! scary!)

Snack: 1 Fage 0%, 1 Fiberone Bar broken up and thrown in, 1 t PB mixed in

Snack: 1/2 c. oats, 1/2 banana, milk, a bit of vanilla protein powder, about 1 T PB

Power yoga!! =)

Dinner: Pretty much the same thing I had for lunch+some asparagus. We had a huge dinner party the other night and have a TON of leftovers.. so my fam is trying to finish them haha.

Dessert: Cheesecake from Chatila's Bakery--first time i will have tried this so i'll let you know how it goes. I just found out about chatila's the other day and it is this sugar free bakery thing. This cheesecake has 13 g protein. wtf!?

http://www.chatilasbakery.com/nutritionalinfo rmation.html

not sure about the water-retention..sorry =/ but yeah it definitely sounds like your body is happy that you are nourishing it! haha keep up the great work!

Night sweats are a huge one and are (obviously) quite noticeable. Also, as gi-jane mentioned, improved appetite and circulation; when i was really into my ED, my lips would turn blue as would my fingernails, and once I started becoming more healthy, all of that ended.

I know you have been posting about night sweats, so there you have it! Good job on increasing the cals, but if you stop having those night sweats for a while and start getting hungrier, don't be afraid to keep increasing!! especially with your height; i bet you will end up needing over 3500.. obv i'm no doctor, but my doc (who specializes in EDs) was telling me that she once had a patient who was 6 ft and couldn't gain o less than 5000. isnt' that crazy?!

i think it depends.. i know that if you get a lot of fiber, you absolutely HAVE to drink a lot of water to, ahem, "keep everything moving". i get like 60g a day, so i definitely drink a lot of water.

it is also common for people recovering from anorexia to be dehydrated. I just had some blood work done a couple weeks ago and found that i was dehydrated, despite my drinking 3L a day!! lol. but my doc explained it to me: when your body is repairing itself, water is one of the main byproducts, and so all that excess water gets excreted and you cant really hold onto it. so if you have to pee a ton, that is probably why. =p

I agree that it is probably mostly water weight. Btw, way to go with the water! I drink over 3L a day too. =)

Start eating more. 1200 calories is WAY under what you need to eat to gain weight. If you continue eating that few calories, your body will never get out of starvation mode, causing you to gain weight on a ridiculously small amount of calories.

Up them soon if you can. The sooner you get your body out of starvation mode, the less damage will be done. It is really counter intuitive, but when you start giving your body more, your metabolism will kick in in order to start rebuilding things your body lost, like bone density and muscle mass. This will cause your BMR to be higher because of all the extra work that is being done.

Moral of the story: give your body what it needs to repair itself. Your metabolism will adjust!!

Good luck!

you're still in starvation mode.. your body still hasn't come out of it..

why don't you just experiment with eating more for a week or so. what harm is it going to do?

carmen, it's probably because you're still not eating enough. I have a question. When you were hardcore recovering from your ED, what was the highest amount of calories you would consume on average?

I have been getting a ridiculous amount of headaches recently as well (I'm recovering from anorexia/overexercising), and I know that for me it is because my metabolism is revving up because my body is trying to restore itself. because it is depleting the energy stores, my blood sugar keeps dropping, leading to EXTREMELY frequent headaches. I bet with the amount that you're eating, you are simply underfueling your body and your blood sugar is typically quite low.

1300-1500 is what you should eat if you were trying to LOSE weight. You need to be eating far more than that. Has it ever occurred to you that your body might STILL be in starvation mode? If you gained on relatively few calories, that is a sign that there is still something wrong. As you have probably noticed, most people recovering from anorexia typically require upwards of 2500, with 2000 being a sort of baseline. If you gained on less than this, I am willing to bet that your body is still really confused and not functioning how it should be.

swimchick.

if you were hospitalized at age TEN from anorexia, your metabolism must be unbelievably screwed up. These are your peak years for growing, and because you have been undereating for so long, your body no longer trusts you to be consistent with what you put into it. I know you know that teenagers need far more calories than adults, especially teens who are active, so i won't get into that. But because your body has been conditioned to survive on the little amount that you have been giving it, it is going to store a lot of what you put into it as fat. However, this DOES NOT mean that you are fat; it means that your body is very very confused and you need to fix it!

You need to start eating more. I know that tons of people have told you this before on this website, and yet you continue to ignore it and insist that 110 is a "good weight for you". WELL OBVIOUSLY IT ISNT A GOOD WEIGHT FOR YOU IF YOU GET YOUR PERIOD ONCE A YEAR! You perceive this to be "normal" because it is all that you have experienced; but since you started screwing with your body before or around the time that you hit puberty, of course your cycle is going to be screwed up. Healthy people do not get their periods once a year. There is nothing about that that is healthy.

You say that you have "fat thighs, fat shoulders/arms". First off, your perception is unbelievably distorted and obviously has been since you were very young. But aside from that, if you really want to get rid of your "fat", you should look into strength training as muttlover pointed out. We all know that you can't spot reduce, but strength training really works wonders. It will also help your body get back on track, AS LONG AS YOU EAT MORE THAN YOU BURN. If you are in calorie excess while you strength train, you will build muscle, which will help your metabolism because (as you probably already know) muscle burns more calories at rest than fat does.

You really need to take a good look at yourself and what you value. Do you value weighing 110 right now and perpetuating the horrible cycle that you have thrown your body into? Will you value the long term consequences you will still be dealing with years from now, such as osteoporosis (yes it's possible to get it young, I have it after dealing with anorexia and i'm 17), weight gain on relatively little calories, and the possibility of infertility?

Or do you value dealing with this before it gets any worse? Tackling this problem will be difficult because you most likely will gain weight because of how confused your body is. However, if you strength train, part of that weight gain can be muscle, which will ultimately help you. Please just look at what you value. I am pretty sure that most of the members on cc are sick of watching you hurt your body day after day, posting triggering things such as this that you KNOW are not what your body needs from you. Just think about it.

Melkor, when I was in the throes of my ED, I did hot yoga every day as my form of "purging". Now obviously my weight loss was not due to the hot yoga alone, but I definitely think it burns a considerable amount. I always guestimated around 500 cals, though I have never taken a heart monitor or anything to check (I'm female, 5'6, medium frame, started at 134 and got down to 108). Don't underestimate it--granted it isn't quite the same as running a marathon, but it is definitely physically strenuous.

To the OP: If you get into the habit of doing hot yoga, I suggest that you make sure you are replenishing your electrolytes. It is really common for people who do it a lot to get their electrolytes all screwed up because of the exposure to extreme heat resulting in a TON of sweat (as you prob experienced, lol). Also, make sure you are hydrating really well !!!!!! that goes without saying though. A lot of people on this site don't think it burns a lot (I can understand that..I mean it's just yoga..lol), but after having quite a bit of experience with it, I would say that it burns about as much as running a few miles. If you aren't looking to lose weight, I would suggest a different type of yoga... probably vinyasa (sort of like power yoga) if you want to build muscle and get "toned". Some studios even offer hot vinyasa.

Best of luck with the yoga; stick with it, it has a lot of benefits! Just don't go too crazy.. lol.

Hey!

The type of yoga that will probably give you the most muscle definition is a vinyasa or ashtanga class. These classes utilize flowing movements for a more cardiovascular workout, as well as holding postures that will help you build strength and muscle tone. There is specifically a lot of upper body (push up type stuff) and lunges. You can find these classes heated or in a normal setting.

Bikram (hot yoga) is also a good cardio workout, but it is totally different than vinyasa. Bikram does build strength and flexibility, and it burns a lot of calories. Be sure to hydrate a TON all day if you do decide to do it, and don't eat within 3 hours of a class or you won't be a happy camper.. lol. Also, make sure you are eating enough calories for how much you expend, because it can be deceiving. Just because it's "yoga" doesn't mean your body isn't working hard!

 good luck and enjoy your yoga!

Taylor