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| Health & Support | 1000 calories for breakfast and a new plan | Apr 27 2008 21:36 (UTC) |
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Original Post by ser25:
Hmmm ... I see your points, although muttlover had some pretty good points too. But you mention that you seem to maintain at 1600-2000 ... maybe 1800 would then be a good starting point, since you are doing a fair bit of exercise now. As for cookies ... yeah, I guess everyone's cravings work differently. For me, I find if I eat a fair bit of protein then I don't get big sugar cravings, but I guess from your reply that it works different for you. Also, muttlover was right, I guess my main point was that when you have a craving it's probably a good idea, if possible, to satisfy it with something that both tastes good and has some nutritional value. |
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| The Lounge | Why is beauty STILL the primary virtue of women? (rant) | Apr 27 2008 21:25 (UTC) |
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Original Post by rampantbunnylove: People say that all the time. But it's missing the point. While that may be the evolutionary basis for why this behaviour has evolved in our species, it doesn't address the psychology of why this behaviour expresses itself. And I think that psychology is an instinctive need amongst most women to compete with each other. For what it's worth, I can't even imagine judging a woman at my workplace based on whether she's wearing make up or not, or on how she looks. It's all about competence. |
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| The Lounge | Why is beauty STILL the primary virtue of women? (rant) | Apr 27 2008 06:18 (UTC) |
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Original Post by jules817:I think you hit the nail on the head. Women really don't try to look good for men, they want to look good "for themselves", and by that I think they really mean "for other women to whom I want to feel superior". Women routinely tear each other to shreds. It's definitely a pet peeve of mine when guys or "patriarchal society" are blamed for the "culture of beauty". I don't know why women feel so competitive with each other, but I think it is the driving force behind, well, almost everything in our society, come to think of it. |
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| Health & Support | Scary Conversation | Apr 27 2008 06:04 (UTC) |
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| As one who has been hurt by someone who was obsessed with being thin and losing weight and counting calories, I can only say "amen" to the original post's second paragraph. The most insidious things is how someone can twist their whole perception of the world to fit a particular story they want to tell themselves just so they can keep losing weight. It is absolutely scary. | |||
| Health & Support | 1000 calories for breakfast and a new plan | Apr 27 2008 05:55 (UTC) |
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| 1572 calories is NOT enough for you. The point is not one day ... it's setting up a habit that can last you a lifetime. Instead of bouncing from 1200 to 3200 to 1500 to 2700 etc. etc., pick a _reasonable_ number like 1900 or so, and then try to always stick within about 250 calories of that number.
Also, when you do get crazy food cravings, try something more useful to your body ... for example, go out and get a good steak instead of gorging on cookies. Yes, I think getting 7-8 hours a day would really help you. Averaging 5 hours or so is not healthy. I agree with the person who posted saying that eating too little early in the day can make you eat too much later. One idea: you say you like rice puffs and they fill you up, why not keep some at work and if you start getting hungry around 10 am or so (in the lull between breakfast and lunch) or 3 pm or so (in the lull between lunch and supper), have some of those. Maybe also a single square of high quality 70% dark chocolate. That would be tasty and satisfying, and would not have too much calories. Personally, I use Carr's table water crackers (5 crackers = 70 calories) ... I find they somehow fill me up more than what could possibly be expected given their calorie density. Hope this was helpful. |
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| Weight Loss | What's your weight loss pet pieve? | Apr 27 2008 05:21 (UTC) |
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edit: removed |
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| Health & Support | Living 'normal' Again/ Getting into a Relationship. | Mar 29 2008 05:29 (UTC) |
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| What I advised my sister about taking compliments: take them graciously. Don't try to deny it or argue, just accept it for what it is. Depending on your mood or the situation, say "thank you" or just smile. Or both.
Hmm ... starting conversations. Well, what I've learned is that it really doesn't matter what you say. Really. I know that sounds weird, but if someone is interested in you, it really doesn't matter how you start a conversation with them ... it's just an excuse for the two of you to start talking. There's also the age-old female trick: give the guy a hint that he should open a conversation with you! You asked about: what do normal 16 year old girls think about. Well, I have no clue. But 16 year old boys think about (ok, it depends on the guy, obviously ... I have no idea what kind of guys you're into, but here are some general ideas): sports (either participating in them or watching pro sports), music, their passion (whatever that might be ... for me it was flying, for others I knew at that age it was motorcycles, or cars, or playing in a band, or writing, or photography, ... whatever ... basically some activity they're passionate about: a lot of guys that age will have at least one big passion), stuff they find "interesting" (this will also depend on the guy: intellectual types might like literature or politics for example). Not sure if any of this has helped. But remember: there are plenty of nice guys out there. Don't put up with ****. And congrats on your recovery! |
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| Health & Support | My husband likes me fat (what I call fat) | Mar 29 2008 00:54 (UTC) |
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| Rgliptak: trust your husband. It is the ED speaking when you say "he's just a chubby chaser" or that your support system wants you to be fat "so they can feel better about themselves". If your husband tells you that you're sexy now: take him at his word. Men like curves on a woman! It's healthier _and_ it looks better! I don't think my girlfriend has an ED, but maybe she is borderline, because she's extremely careful about what she eats and gets really cranky anytime she puts on a pound or two. At last check, she was ~115 lbs (and 5'6"), despite the fact that she acknowledges that she should gain weight and despite the fact that I've been encouraging her to feel comfortable with being in the 125-135 lbs range. You have to understand how frustrating it is for a guy to watch someone he really cares about starve herself and/or feel so guilty about eating normally. It's even worse when she would look way sexier with a bit more weight! So please, believe me ... your husband is no "chubby chaser" ... he's just being a good, selfish man and wants you to look hot ... which you now apparently do! I'm sure he also cares about you and the family the two of you can have together; but that doesn't mean he's lying to you about how sexy you look ... guys usually don't lie about that sort of thing (unless they're backed into a corner by direct "interrogation style" questioning and they want to avoid a fight) ... and besides, there are very obvious physiological signals that men give off ... and those can't be faked! So maintain that weight, don't feel bad, and love your body! Seriously: congratulations on your recovery. The hardest part is over. Now you just need to conquer these little panic attacks, put them aside, and feel good about yourself. | |||
| Weight Gain | Weight gain diet? | Mar 16 2008 00:37 (UTC) |
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linny: some comments -> - agree completely about avocados, +500cal/day, olive oil. On the subject of olive oil though, I'd recommend more olive oil, at least an average of 3 tablespoons a day (it is very heart-healthy and is delicious to boot). Great places to use olive oil: - with a half an avocado, add 2-3 tablespoons of olive oil, lemon juice to taste, and salt to taste ... take this and spread it on toast ... is wonderful also with tomatoes on top and/or swiss or emmenthal cheese - when you make pasta (e.g with tomato sauce), add a generous amount of olive oil - with most cooked vegetables (like asparagus, brocolli, etc.), put on a moderate amount of olive oil Also, keep in mind the following points regarding olive oil: - always buy "Extra-Virgin" olive oil - always buy "First Cold Press" olive oil, unless you're using it only for salad, in which case "Cold Press" can be good enough - check the expiry date - protect it from light (especially sunlight) and heat A really healthy food is salmon. Be sure _not_ to trim off the fatty part of the salmon ... that is all "good fat" and is chock full of omega 3 fatty acids ... very healthy stuff, and tastes great. MM |
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| Weight Gain | New Pics Of My 126lb Self =] | Mar 16 2008 00:10 (UTC) |
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Ser: If she knows she needs to gain weight (even if the thought scares her), then isn't encouraging her to do what she needs to do to meet her goal a way of supporting her? But, point taken in the sense that support is definitely more than simply encouraging her to eat more. I guess what I was trying to ask ornella was whether encouragement to eat more was a useful aspect of support, or if that kind of direct encouragement did more harm than good. MM
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| Weight Gain | A letter to anorexia.. | Mar 14 2008 17:26 (UTC) |
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Wow, great letter. I hope it helps you (and others). Best of luck ...
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| Weight Gain | New Pics Of My 126lb Self =] | Mar 12 2008 22:17 (UTC) |
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| Congratulations! It is great to hear of someone who has recovered and is happy with their healthy-weight self! If you don't mind me asking: How long did you take to gain your weight ... did you do it very gradually? If so, did this help? Did you count calories? Did it help you or did you resent it when family/boyfriend encouraged you to eat more? Biggest question: how did you get over the fear of eating / gaining weight? | |||
| Health & Support | the buldge... (sp)? | Feb 26 2008 04:46 (UTC) |
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| Ug! I find this so frustrating. Why do women want to have totally flat bellies?! I'm sorry, but as a guy I have to say, that curve to a woman's belly is totally sexy and attractive! Seriously, men like _curves_ on a woman ... that's what makes her different from a man! If we were attracted to straight lines and bulging muscles, we wouldn't be het!
disclaimer: ok, I don't know, maybe some guys are into that ... but I suspect they're just going along with what they think they're _supposed_ to be attracted to. I think any guy if he really followed his instincts would prefer a woman with some curves and softness to her. You know why this one really pisses me off? It's because what oomboo2 said is totally true ... it is natural for a woman to have a curve there, and to get rid of it you'd have to drop yourself to such an unhealthy body weight that you risk getting into ED territory. And obviously it isn't for "being attractive" or "being sexy" type reasons ... I think it is just to conform to society's (read: other women's) expectations of "the perfect body". Don't do it ... is showing up your girlfriends really that important to you? |
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| Health & Support | Eating Disorders and Relationships | Feb 26 2008 03:47 (UTC) |
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| As a guy, I thought I'd share my perspectives with you. I don't really have any magic answer to the question, because I think it depends a lot on the individuals involved. But I do think that the right guy can help a woman who's open to receiving help.
For one thing, despite what you may have heard to the contrary, guys generally prefer curvy women ... forgive the language, but tits & ass is where its at for most guys (plus the other attractive curves, like the belly, the hourglass thing, etc.) and so even if he's not able to offer anything else, at the very least he can offer honest feedback about how attractive it is for a woman to have meat on her bones! I think maybe the hardest thing for a guy in this situation is watching someone he cares about hurt herself, or feel bad about herself, for reasons that are very hard for him to identify with. I think if he feels that she is making an honest attempt to get better, that she truly wants to get better ... I think this would have a huge impact on how he feels about the situation. And yes, guys have emotional needs too! So a woman who is completely self-obsessed because she is directing all of her mental energy inward (and therefore shows a lack of interest in him, his problems, his successes, etc.) ... well, I could see how that would be a problem as well. So I guess to summarize I absolutely believe it can work, but it needs (1) two mature, patient, caring people who feel strongly about each other, (2) an open, honest relationship where both people can talk openly about their thoughts/feelings, (3) the woman really trying to get over her ED, (4) the woman still being at least somewhat sensitive to him and his emotional needs. This is all off the top of my head, I haven't really thought this through ... not sure if it all makes sense, but I hope it helps. |
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