Posts by jerichocheyenne

It's good to see everyone is staying positive.  We will be able to do this.  It'll be even harder with Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up but it is all about portion control and counting those calories.  RIght now it's freezing in TN so I haven't felt like being outside much but I'm trying to do exercises at home and get my butt to the gym. 

Penny- thanks for all the encouragement.  I for sure need it.  I swore that once I got rid of the dead beat husband that I'd lose lots of weight but instead I stuffed my face to deal with the stress.  I'm trying to really get back on track.  I was watching biggest loser the other night and it was so scary when the dr. said that most people that have as significant amount of weight to lose like me that they rarely ever do because they and the people around them don't believe they can do it.  Then they showed what the age of their heart was because of the obesity and my heart would be equal to around a 60 year old and I'm only 26.  It was a very sobering thing.  I know I feel 60 a lot of the time.  So I'm trying to get refocused and to not be manic about it.  I've been playing basketball with my son so that's helped.  I just need to get back on my routine.  It's awesome that you've stayed focused.  Even if you haven't lost any weight over the past 6 weeks at least you didn't gain.  That's great!

Skorosac- I'm so proud of you and jealous too cuz you did it.  You stuck in there and stayed committed and you did it!  Just think of how wonderful you're going to look at all the Christmas parties that I'm sure you'll be invited too.  Good for you girl.  Nothing ever tastes as good as thin feels.

Bitteronion- welcome.  It doesn't seem as though there's many of us around here but maybe they'll all get encouraged and find their way back.  Good luck on this journey it is a rough one.

Sorry y'all. I kinda disappeared. I had to find a new job start a new job quit my old job which is what I'll be doing today.  Good news at my new that I started on Tuesday they are health freaks! woot woot!!! no one is heavy and I for sure don't want to be the one that sticks out like a sore thumb so already I'm eating healthier and eating less.  My music is starting to really take off. woot woot!!! So all in all even though I still have a gimungous amount of weight to lose I'm doin great.  Mentally I'm at a much happier place which really does help. yes!  Hope you all are doing great.  I'm tryin to keep up.

Jer

So I did an hour long spinning class today.  I was so proud of myself I didn't think I had it in me yet.  It was very difficult but very rewarding.  Afterwards I found the strength to weigh myself and it was what I feared.  I gained back all of the 30 lbs I had previously lost.  That's a huge bummer but I know I can turn this around.  Plus, I know it's not healthy to keep losing and gaining weight back so fast.  So, I need to buckle down and get all of my emotions under control and just work it.  I'm trying not to be so hard on myself.  I heard though this week that if you do something for an hour a day everyday for 3 years that at the end of those 3 years you'll be an expert.   I've realized that I can't get to the gym everyday in the evening after work so if I'm really going to do this I have to force myself to wake up in the morning and go before work.  It's the only way I'll get my workouts in.  This should be interesting because I've never been a morning person nor am I now. It's going to take rearranging my schedule.  I'll keep you posted.

sharki007- I've been doing a lot of reading on the subject of binging and emotional eating.  They said usually during a binge you turn to your comfort foods.  Like if you have very happy memories of your mom making chocolate cake and how happy you were a lot of times you turn to chocolate cake because it brings back those happy feelings.  Or if every time you had pizza it was a reward you might turn to pizza cuz it brings back those kinds of feelings.  The advice it gives is that after you have a binge record what you ate and what brought on the binge.  Then it says to take each food you ate and write if it's related to memories or feelings of the past.  Don't know of this helps but it's made me analyze things and figure out some things.  Plus, I'm not big on counselors so I like to psycho analyze myself. lol. Good luck.

So I made huge strides today.  I finally went back to the gym.  It was like the first time I believe in 2 months..maybe even 3.  It was very difficult to get motivated to go back.  I spent most of the morning dragging my feet hoping I'd rationalize my way out of it.  However though I drove myself there and did it.  As I walked through the double doors and scanned my membership card I felt as if I was starting all over.  Thinking about how in February I started this journey completely stoked about the changes I was making.  As I walked by the spinning room I remembered how I once entered that room scared and not believing I'd make it through an entire class and then not shortly thereafter I was doing hour classes and feeling amazing.  I akwardly walked  passed the weight room with all the chizzled bodies thinking how before I'd jump right in there with not one ounce of insecurity and hit the machines.  I finally made it upstairs to the treadmill hoping I'd be all alone so no one would see how I struggled for breath just walking.  I felt ashamed because here I was once again starting over.  I don't know if this will finally be the last time I'm starting over.  I hope it is so I don't have to put myself through this pain once again.  I truly hope that this time I will have the courage and dedication that it takes to finish this.  I know that today I was able to overcome an obstical and put aside my fears.  I know I feel incredibly tired and worn out from a mild workout but I know it'll get easier because it always does.  I know that I can't wait to get into spinning again but I have to start off slow.  I always dive in head first and wind up getting discouraged or injured so I need to just chill out and give myself time.  I'm trying not to go overboard and just have reasonable expectations.  Trying however does not always work but I'm learning from my mistakes so...I guess that's the only thing I can do.  I didn't even dare get on the scale today when I passed it.  I know I'll just get angry and discouraged and nothing good will come from it.  I hope everyone is making progress in this long journey.  I know I'm just trying to take one day at a time or I'll feel overwhelmed.  Hope you all have a fabulous weekend.

Thank you everyone for all the wonderfully nice and supportive comments you've given me. This weekend my hubby went to Indy 500 so I was home alone and of course I used it to over eat and not have anyone watching or ready to judge. I was going to go to the gym on Saturday but never made it because it was too late in the day and so the childcare room was closed for the day. Plus, I fear the scale. I know I'm going to get on that scale and find out that I've gained all my weight back and so once again I'll be starting off worse on my journey. I just get so frustrated. I'm able to succeed in every other aspect in my life but this. I'm making huge personal strides in my life except with this. I even decided I'm going to go back to school in the fall. I'm finally going back to get a degree. I mean that's huge and takes lots of courage. I don't want to go back in September and still be consumed with this. I have to beat whatever this is. I know it's more than just a battle of the bulge with me. I know I have a serious disorder and so I have to do something before it's too late. Wish me luck because I need all the luck I can get. Good luck to all y'all. I'm proud of each and every one of you for hanging in there and staying strong through this process. All of you are showing incredible results and I can't wait to see the before and after pictures.

Well I'm feeling a little bit more optimistic today.  I feel bloated and fat but whatcha gonna do when the damage is already done.  Atleast I didn't purge so I'm still doing better than I used to.  I'm trying to work through all the pain that's made me an emotional eater and I know it's going to be a long journey but I have to deal with this because it affects every aspect of my life.  I can't even worship how I long to at church because I'm afraid my shirt will lift up and show my fat.  It's pretty sad.  Or the fact I don't put my son in a bunch of activities because I'm afraid of the other parents rejecting me and my son because of the way I look.  It's so terribly exhausting and pathetic.  So I'm going to deal with this even if it is painful.

Doug,

I don't know if alcohol is considered a trigger but I know I sure as heck overeat when I drink.  Or will make the decision not to order any food at a bar but then I'll start drinking and just know I have to have nachos or some spinach dip or something.  I for sure think that all the binge eating and everything is emotional.  I definitely binge when I'm feeling down and out.  Boredom I think stems from feeling alone.  Whenever I feel lonely I eat.  So I know my binging is absolutely 100% mental.  I ordered a book on emotional eating so I'll let you all know if it's worth reading or not.  I'm trying to help myself in every way I can.

Thanks Stephtobea9 that helps a lot.  Since I moved across country I haven't made any friends because of my fear of rejection because of my weight.  It helps to have someone to talk to.  I'm just so down and out lately.  It's like at the drop of a pin I cry.  I hate it.  I've never been one that can't hide her emotions.  I just feel so alone and I don't know anyone that's gone through what I've gone through my entire life. Not even my sis.  She was overweight but it was from a health condition and not all the eating disorders that I've had.  Plus, my Mom is the most critical person I've ever met so I can't turn to her either.  I just feel like everyday I'm being rejected more and more.  So it's leading me to binge more and more.

I can't believe how fast this thread grows.  I'd believe that's a good thing though, right? So finally all the bdays and celebrations are out of the way and now I can get on the straight path again.  I've eaten so bad this past week and I feel like poo.  I'm still getting over being sick.  I thought it was allergies but it was something more.  I'm having problems getting focused right now and I don't know why.  It's like my mind is completely and totally somewhere else.  To everyone that is still losing and staying strong you are truly amazing.  Losing weight and winning the battle with bulge is very difficult.  It's for sure an addiction and not just a matter of losing weight.  Good luck to everyone.  I'll try to be more social with y'all.  I've been reclusive lately due to my lack of staying motivated and shedding the inches.

Skorosac-  girlfriend if you need advice on clothes or shopping anytime hit me up.  I know it all.  I'll tell you what to and what not to wear.  Where to shop to find a bargain and dress you amazingly all over the internet.  woo hoo.  I don't even have to be there and I'll dress you.  I've been every size at one time or another in my life so if you're still insecure over certain areas of your body you can still find flattering items that hide them but make you look beautiful at the same time.

Hey everyone.  So I've decided not to do the Biggest Loser.  I think I've been using the fact that I was planning on trying out as a crutch to slip into some of my old eating habits.  Well, apparently I wasn't as strong as i thought I was.  It's amazing how you can start with simply being unable to work out for a month and it landslide into old habits.  I guess that's why they always say old habits die hard.  I haven't weighed yet and I'm very scared.  So I think I might wait for a few weeks so it gives me time to get back in the gym and kick my butt.

I've been so bad at logging lady sorry everyone.  I slipped up for the last few days yes me.  It was a social thing.  I feel so rude when we go to friends houses and they make food and I'm vegan so I don't eat anything.  I feel entirely rude. Plus these are new friends not old ones.  They understand but I still feel rude.  So I started having cheese again and wo nelly. lost control.  suddenly lots of carbs and cheese full of cals.  Then on top of it I'm extremely stressed and hormonal and so it was a big ole mess.  I'm back on track and trying to get my head back into the swing of things.  Not being able to work out just killed me mentally.  I'm an all or nothing kinda person which is dangerous I know.  I'm trying to work on it.  I have a question anyone on here want to be my partner for Biggest Loser Couples.  I'm trying out for the season coming up.  I have a friend that might do it but won't commit.  I need to send in my info immediately though.  Anyone interested?  I'm very competitive so I know we'll make it through.

wowee!!! I think we are losing our momentum.  With taxes due and everything I'm sure that distracted some of us.  I know this thread is getting rather large and some of the people that first hung out here have informed me they left because of the size.  I set the goal based on the amt. of members on this thread.  I believe the team goal is no longer a challenge for this thread.  I'm going to start a new thread and everyone that's following along then join me over there.  Thanks to everyone that has stuck with us and been a part of this thread.  I'll repost a thread as

All those still interested in losing 100 lbs join me.