Posts by mimi_js

Original Post by muttlover:

Dude. The original post creeps me out because I went through the EXACT same thing, and almost the same time frames...

My boyfriend is my first boyfriend. He seriously dated one other girl for a year and a half, but that was 4 or 5 years ago. Early in our relationship, he would talk about her and bring her up a lot. I was afraid I would sound like a "jealous" or "****" girlfriend if I whined about it, so I never said anything.

Then one day he brought her up. I started yelling at him and saying that he talked about her all the time. I said how it made me feel insecure that he may not be over her. He said he was completely over her, and that he didn't realize it bothered me. He said he wouldn't bring her up again, and, months later, he hasn't.

I discussed this issue with my therapist. I asked why, if his ex cheated on him and then broke up with him, would he still have only good things to say? She said that it is a good sign when a person says good things about their ex, even if it was a bad break up. It shows that they are able to forgive and be mature about things.

Another thing my therapist pointed out was, all of the stories he brought up were to make him look like a good boyfriend. For example, he told me she started crying about something so he took her for ice cream. He also told me that when her boss was doing things against the law, he helped her set things straight.

She also said that it could be a society thing. Society tells us that girl virgins are a good thing, but a virgin guy without experience is not looked upon as a good thing. Guys who have had more than one girlfriend may mention one or two things about each ex, just to point out and indicate that they have had "experience" with multiple girls, so you know they will be good in bed.

My therapist also asked me to describe our relationship at that time. I said that I was not really opening up to him and I was not affectionate. My therapist said that he may have talked about his ex to get me to show jealousy. He is the kind of guy who needs a lot of affection, so this makes sense.

I'm sorry my post was so long, but I just wanted to let you know that I went through the same thing. I also wanted to show you that, although it isn't right to talk about exes a lot, there may be reasons for it. You need to sit your boyfriend down and calmly tell him that it hurts your feelings. I know that what my boyfriend did was rude, but guys do stupid things, and he was very apologetic and immediately fixed things when I asked him to. If your boyfriend refuses to compromise, he's not worth your time.

Mutt Lover- We really ARE in the same position! My bf's ex also cheated on him.

He goes home during vacation times and they do hang out, but never one on one. She just happens to be friends with all of his friends. But I remember one weekend we were having lunch with one of his friends from back home who drove over to pick him up, and my bf asked "Oh is Nancy (fake name) going to be home too?"

I confronted him about this during one of our arguments, and he said that it's just weird for him to be around her sometimes, but that he doesn't have feelings for her anymore. I can't bring myself to trust him though.

IMP Note-- He told me that one of his best friends even slept with her a little while after they broke up, and that he was completely fine with it. He said that I am "girlfriend 2.0" and I am the better, newer version that everyone wants because "girlfriend 1.0" sucks.

I'm really confused about this whole situation. He does make me feel really insecure a lot of times, but I honestly don't know if it's just him being stupid.

shaye! don't you know that people on this website are smarter than your doctor who went to med school

mehh just stick to the tried and true

eat healthy and exercise ! hahah

You know.. I actually recently came to the conclusion that I don't little skinny semi-anorexic girls who pretend they eat SO much. For example, my friend and I went to Jack in the Box last weekend and she ordered their 99cent tacos and a burger. And I ordered curly fries and a pita wrap. Then afterward, she made her Facebook status "I just ate 2 tacos, a huge burger, curly fries, and now sipping on orange soda.." But in reality, she only had 1 of her tacos, half her burger, and 2 pieces of MY curly fries.

If you don't eat, don't pretend you do! Gosh it's so annoying.

of course what you said is all true. when i was finally able to stop binging, i regulated my eating by following my intuition, eating whatever I want whenever I want, but not going overboard. its a great feeling.

I never want to count calories again like I used to.. logging in every meal and all that. I am positive my weight will fluctuate back to normal (which for me is around 25). I think it is wrong to purposely force myself to eat things i dont want to eat, because some chart says i need to weigh a certain amount, you know? i just dont want any weight issues to take over my life again. and i believe 125 is my healthy weight, for my body type. its 19bmi, which is above the range for underweight. and i maintain that weight by not caring about calories what so ever, which makes me happy in the long run!

To be honest emily... I think a lot of people are shallow! But not everyone admits it. Props to those who are honest and blatant about it

I get called shallow all the time.. but I'm not a judger. I'm just honest!

What birth control method is the most effective, but doesn't make you go crazy at the same time? I don't think I'm that worried about weight gain, since everyone told me I'd gain weight on depo but I actually lost weight on it. I just want to know the most effective kind hmmm

I just watched an episode of Mad Men. I think I just lost all faith in relationships and marriage.

At least your husband loves you _

I've never had a muscular body type. Everyone in my family are fairly skinny, but no one is really toned. A couple years ago, I used to watch what I ate and worked out at least 30 minutes a day. But that was when I had problems with my body image. I gained some weight after that, stopped working out, and started eating a lot of bad food. My typical day looks somewhat like this: Breakfast (Danish Croissant) Lunch (Ham & cheese Sandwich with all the condiments, Coconut Cake) Snack (Snickers Bar) Dinner (3-4 slices of Pizza, Cheesy sticks, 1/2 cup of Ben & Jerry's Ice cream) Snack (another 1/2 cup Ben & Jerry's). That is what I ate last Friday.

So technically, it's not that I eat a lot. I just eat a lot calorie wise because I am a fast food junky. I feel tired all the time, and I get a MAJOR 3PM slump.

Yesterday, I went the entire day with a healthy conscience and tried my best to cut out junk food. I had stuff like sashimi and edamame beans, fruit smoothies, pasta with tuna, frozen yogurt instead of ice cream, nuts & avocado salad. I also went for a 20 minute walk with my 5lb dumbells (hey it's a start!) I'm not sure if it's the placebo effect, but I honestly felt so much happier and better about myself. I definitely did not get a 3PM slump, I was actually motivated for life.

Today.. I have not been so good. But hey baby steps right

I graduated from high school a couple years ago, and I noticed that most of my peers have all lost their virginity already. I think 16 is now a normal age to be sexually active.

Go take a pregnancy test. If it comes out negative, wait a week and then take another one! Then repeat until you get your period. You can never be too safe.

Lulu IS overpriced! I was looking at these yoga mats there and they were $50! I got a better one from Target for only $30.

Thanks guys. I have a tendency to overreact about a lot of things with the bf. I'll cut him some slack on this one hah

Chotzee- you're very right. My mother, grandma, grandpa, and all my aunts and uncles are fairly thin people. But most of them have very high cholesterol and my grandma has heart problems!

Samwich! You are like MY boyfriend, and I am like YOURS! Hahaha. So I guess I can give you SOME advice since I'm speaking from experience.

My boyfriend and I go to the same college, and he is on the football team so his life basically revolves around that sport. In Fall, he will have practice every single day from 2pm to 9pm, and right now he has been in Summer football camp for the past 3 weeks, where practice goes from 6:30AM to 11PM --even on Saturdays and Sundays! And he HAS to live in their provided hotel because the team does bed-checks every night! So basically.. I haven't been seeing a lot of him lately haha.

I guess it is true that I am not understanding, because I give him a lot of emotional crap for not giving me enough attention. But most of the time he handles it pretty well. He'll call me every night before going to bed, and tells me that he wishes he could be with me but he's so tired he can barely keep his eyes open, and that he can't wait to see me again.

Maybe he is just being a sweet talker... but it sure keeps my teeth aching ! It doesn't hurt to tell your partner these cute things! It will keep the emotional hurt at bay, I'm sure.

It's when you're average/ skinny sized (according to the scale)...but you don't work out so you probably have a higher bodyfat % than other people who are larger or weigh more.