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| Weight Gain | Weight Gainers: What did YOU eat today? | Nov 23 2008 17:52 (UTC) |
3,282 |
Hey slr, sorry you are having such a rough time! I have a rocky relationship with my mom as well, just because she tries so hard to get me to gain weight and get better and I keep saying I will, and then I only maintain because I'm scared of the consequences of gaining back to normal weight. The hair loss... I have experienced a lot. I used to have thick beautiful black hair... I'm Chinese. And it's dark on the top, but light redish in the light at the bottom from the sun. But now... yea, I haven't had to cut my hair for nearly a year (and it hasn't gotten longer) because of ED. It's stopped falling out in clumps now that I have been eating better for the last six months, but really, it takes time. Try not washing it as much (every other day at the most), and put in heavy conditioners. It takes time, but you won't go bald. What helps is you put it up like in a bun and no one can tell. Don't comb it with a thin comb and when you wash you hair and use a brush, hold onto the ends of your hair so that if you strain the hair, you don't pull on it. Often, the ends are loose, so if you strain it a little, they fall out. I think your mom is just really worried about you. I don't know how to help except that I know I can share that my mom would threaten me with things like you can't go this internship until you gain weight, or I am making you go to college at home, but she doesn't really want those things. She is so desperate to help me, and yet, no matter what threats she makes, it doesn't help, because in the end I have to make that decision to recover. I know it is harder for you because you still live at home and are younger, but see if you explain her how far you have come and explain to her why you got sick if she would be more supportive in a gentler way. On the other hand, you might need something like what your mom is pushing to get better. I think sometimes we need to pushed out of our comfort zone, to be coerced. I feel like ED lets us make excuses for ourselves. Be strong. You will make it. oh, gibbit! Glad to hear from you. Good that you are doing so well. I knew you'd pull throught. apo |
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| Weight Gain | Weight Gainers: What did YOU eat today? | Nov 17 2008 06:14 (UTC) |
3,421 |
Hey Gibbit, Don't let ED win! You can do it. Fight it. I know you are tired and weak right now, but if you don't let it win you will be one step closer, one more step closer to recovery. You are so close, and you have inspired me so much. Keep at it. Tomorrow when you wake up, if you fight that voice, you will smile and say, I beat him! I am stronger now.
apo
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| Weight Gain | ate like 1400 IN ! HR: BUT NOT A BINGE | Nov 16 2008 15:45 (UTC) |
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I think that's a good thing, bobo! I myself had an MM ice cream cookie sandwhich yesterday while yelling at my ED to shut up. It was so good and I am glad I had it. Now I know what it tastes like and I can say, eh it was great once, but I won't binge on it. No food is worth it. What helps is if you trust your body's hunger signals a little, my nut says. She says that if I ate more during the day, I wouldn't be so hungry at night. I used to eat more than a thousand calories every night studying because during the day I would severely restrict. Trust me, it's nice to eat, but nicer to eat when you are hungry and not totally bloated. I am trying out her advice. Wish me luck. Yesterday went ok, so may today will, too!
apo |
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| Weight Gain | Weight Gainers: What did YOU eat today? | Nov 15 2008 21:05 (UTC) |
3,449 |
Hey Gibbit, I just want to say that you look so pretty in your profile pic, and that you shouldn't worry about being fat. I am having a hard time getting over my mental wall, but I managed to make myself eat chicken wrap.... didn't even know what was in it! lol. Yea, ED was so loud today. But as for exercise, what might help if you started small. Like ran on the treadmill at 4mph for 15 minutes for a few days, then up to 5mph for 15min, then 5mph for 20min, then 6mph... and so forth. You won't even know that you increased after a few days. For strength training, you might want to start with some core exercises first... go light, but get the postures right. And then add weight so that you get fatigued by the last rep. If you want help with a fitness routine, let me know... I work as a fitness counselor at my gym at college, so I know a little about designing fitness routines. If only I didn't have an ED... I think I would be so much healthier and look so much better. I just have to keep remembering that and say it to myself. Good luck! |
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| Weight Gain | Gaining weigh-ins!! | Nov 14 2008 22:11 (UTC) |
1,234 |
I'm so sorry you're going through this! You seem so wonderful, and you have a lot going for you. You can do it. Just don't buy them; throw them out. Like you said yourself, not having it will help right? So, don't carry money with you if you pass by a drug store, etc. Do go shopping if you are weak. I have this problem with peanut butter, where I would eat like half a jar in a night as a way to gain weight, then feel guilty and restrict the next day. What I do is I don't carry money with me if I know I will buy something I shouldn't have. Then, if I go grocery shopping, I make sure I go when my ED is not yelling loudly. I don't know if this will help, but I wish all the best.
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| Weight Gain | Gaining weigh-ins!! | Nov 03 2008 07:42 (UTC) |
1,272 |
Hey!
Thank you so much for writing back! Yea, I know what you mean about the exercise, but it's so hard to stop. I can't stop the exercise, so I just eat more. I never go below 2000, and today I'm at or above 3000 cause I am sitting with my jar of pb as I do my homework lol. I am not binging on it though. This time around, I don't binge anymore just cause I tell myself there is always tomorrow. I guess I am scared to gain weight, scared to see that number go up you know? At the same time, I know that I am only hurting myself if I just exercise and don't eat. My biggest problem is that I starve during the day so that I can "save" my calories at night. I have to stop that. I know I deserve to eat, but.... I don't know. It's all so tough. I love reading these forums though. That's what has been helping me these last few days. Reading this makes me strong. I would like to know more about your recovery though. So, did you stop exercising all together and then eat 3000, or how did it go? Cause if I don't want to stop exercising, and I think in the past 2500 has not made me gain, should I up to 3000 to see if I'll gain? Basically my problem is I eat like only 1000 before eight at night, then I come home from lab and classes and I eat the remaining 1500 in like six hours.... I know it's not healthy, but I tend to want to eat when I sit in front of my computer to do homework. Don't know what to do.... And Okgo, be happy! Be really proud. I have my nutrionist appointment Tuesday, and I know I haven't really gained weight. Not sure what to do. But I know that gaining is right, gaining is right....
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| Weight Gain | Gaining weigh-ins!! | Nov 02 2008 00:32 (UTC) |
1,276 |
Yea Prowess,
I know what you mean; if we woke up tomorrow and had a normal body weight, then we don't have to think about this anymore, at least the voice that says... "hey you have to gain weight... why not just eat the whole 18oz of pb"... I went and bought two jars, but I promised myself I will not sit here and eat the whole thing tonight. Wish me luck...
I don't think you are shallow for wanting to fit into smaller cloths. I have the same thing, where though I don't care about the clothes that much, it is nice to be able to fit in some of the clothes that I haven't fit in for so many years.
My perfectionism hinders my ability to get over my illness. Everything has to be planned perfectly. If I ate more than I should, then I think I am a fat pig... it's that kind of thinking. I think if we exercise an hour... then you have to eat at least 2500 - 3000 to gain any at all. I told my nutritionist that I did about 30-45 minutes of cardio and strength training four times a week, and she said that was the range. But that is not how much I am exercising, because some days like today I would do more than an hour of cardio and still strength train on top. For me, the exercise is also relaxing... I also study for my classes on the treadmill or elliptical, so it's a productive use of time, but.... I obsess. I know it.
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| Weight Gain | Gaining weigh-ins!! | Nov 01 2008 17:28 (UTC) |
1,278 |
Hi,
I am new to post on this forum as well. I have read and reread this forum several times since trying to recover from anorexia late spring. I have trying to get out of it, but can't. Sometimes I try really hard to think past it, but I always get dragged back in. My whole ordeal started with perfectionism, extending that perfectionism into food and body image. I gained weight freshman year in college, and the in sophomore year, started to exercise and lose weight. Things went well, but with stress of transferring to a new college and pressures of applying to med school... 23 credit load with thirty hours of work, I started to lose control. I told myself I didn't need to diet anymore at 5'4 and a quarter adn 125 pounds, but I couldn't stop. So, I just exercise more and ate less. Current stat Height 5'4 Weight 99-101... somewhere in there? I don't weight myself anymore, after I started seeing a dietitian. And I haven't seen her for a week. They don't tell me my weight, just whether it went up or down... but I weighed a week ago just to establish a baseline. GW... first just to get to 105 I guess Really GW should be 112-115 I think.
I think being thin is really not the point of anorexia. If you wanted to be beautiful, you will see in the mirror that the anorexic body is not a beautiful body. It is a body wasting away, and I think anorexia is about control, controlling who you think you are. You have to realize that beauty is not defined by size... after all dress size varies so much by designer, etc. Measure your beauty some other way. Measure it by health.
If I don't want to count calories, how do I know if I am eating enough?
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New journal post Here is the goal. Make it so by strongercore 08:44 |
