Posts by hannahmcc

Original Post by dcyounts:

For real... my girlfriend tells me I'm not considerate enough of her feelings.  But all I hear is "BLAH BLAH BLAH I DONT KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT BLAH."

I swear, girls are controlled by their periods and that is why a women can never be put in charge of critical decisions that require NON-emotion based decisions.

you know what some girls (all girls) are really whiney and yeh we're pretty complicated n most of what we say to you is probably completely bs and tbh most of the stuff i say to my bf i no im bein a pain in the arse about. BUT blokes are just as bad as mcuh as u wont want to admit it. You lot are egotistical wimps. Your so bothered that someone might actually one day know how you really feel that your controlled by the fact society says men shouldn't display emotions. Thats rubbish. A real man will tell someone how he feels honestly. Girls whine and bitch and moan but men do to its jus not called that. Its liek the whole thing that girls can sleep around n get called a whore where as a blokes a pimp for being just as bad?

double standards in society for blokes and woman are pointless. the fact you actually took the time to come on this site and express that your gf bothers you so much a. proves that your just as whiney and pathetic as she is and b. you can't actually tell her! if you told her and talked to her bout how much its bothering u then there would be no need to ask for quotes from strangers to make urself feel better. It was an obvious thing that your just gonna get abuse from such a ridiculous and sexist statement so id ont know why you actually bothered doing it...though its jus for the attention im guessin which again is a very feminine thing said by society so you;ve just yet again proved that is bs.

and as for women not being able to make critical decisions...how many women in history have led our countries into POINTLESS and DECIEVING wars...how many women have been the cause for bombings and terrorism? actually if you look back in history you'll find nearly every single thing that has gone wrong in this world had a man standing behind it...somethings yes were woman but majority i hate to say were men. Why you think men suddenly decided women could do what they like.

Read up on your facts before you start bad mouthing something you clearly know nothing about. Your not a very good boyfriend if you dont care about your girl and you dont actually deserve to be happy if you thing your better then other people. one day you'll want someone and they wont b there n ull only hv urself to blame. and then we'll see what kinda rubbish u start chattin.

I know exactly where your coming from!! similar sort of events and im still young so its still very clear to me but i suppose you never really get over or forget about things like that! I got bullied badly at my first mixed school and my best friend (who still is my best friend of 17 years) is gorgeous and always has been. The boys used to try and talk to her and then would do things like lock me in the hockey shed so i got in trouble for missing lessons or because they knew i hated the dark. Kids are cruel. That was in year 4 im not sure what the equivalent is in America or elsewhere but i was about 7 i suppose maybe a bit older.

Then i left and refused to go to mix school but it actually was worse with girls! They'd pick on me for being bigger and i wasn't even hugely bigger just puppy fat! Eventually i sort of turned into a bully for it, which i regret now but i felt at the time it was the only way i could defend myself. And i turned into a proper tom boy to hide my lumps and bumps with their baggy clothes! Finally sixth form i went to mixed again and the same thing happened but in a different way, i was generally just ignored even though in sixth form which i left a year early last year i was and still am a size 10/12!!! and considering im 5ft9...i really dont think that is fat!

I agree with you though, i think if i werent bullied i wouldnt have kept changing schools i went to 6 schools in about 3 years coz i kept running away or gettin suspended for being a 'rebel'. If i was slimmer then maybe things would have been different but then i wouldn't be who i am now! And nor would you. You should be happy in yourself :-) take it all as a big test and when you see the people if you ever do that used to bully you you can show them how much they didnt effect you! Chances are you're happier then they are because bullies are only bullies coz they have their own insecurities they can't handle.

Original Post by gi-jane:

You're not seeing the bigger picture, that's all.   At the moment this is all about looks... weight-loss for cosmetic reasons.  Your doctor won't frown at you in 20 years time for having big chicken arms, but he will if your cholesterol levels are sky high or he's writing out a scrip for blood pressure tablets.  A thick waist, for example, (more than 32") is turning out to be an accurate predictor of future health problems.

Think 'healthy lifestyle'... be consistent about adopting a healthy diet and doing some regular exercise, not simply as a means to an end but because it's a smart, fun thing to do.

Aw dont worry im in the exact same boat as you are!! I lost all the weight in winter, managed to get a boyfriend....and then i put the weight back on...dam comfort foods! Can't help it i just love my food too much! From what your saying though you do what i do, i get frustrated when i dont see immediate improvement and then just get annoyed and eat more!

I'm not fat by any means but im not skinny either and im deffinatly not the weight i want to be! So like you im in a panic over bikini season where all the ridiculous skinny girls where nothing and make the normal looking people look HUGE! But just don't fret, find a motivation that will keep you on track, mine is my boyfriend i asked him to literally have a go at me if he see's me eating rubbish! Even though he disagrees with me trying to lose weight but he is supportive all the same. :-) think about how great you'll feel when you can walk onto a beach surrounded by skinny girls and not be hiding behind a towel until you reach the sea! We've all been there! Think about your real goal and aim for that and screw everything else. if you go to eat something fattening think do i really want this or am i just eating for the sake of eating?

hope it helped....good luck!!!!!!!! x

Original Post by feanor:

 

It's VERY easy to make someone feel excluded when a SO is involved, because with a SO, the two people share something that a friend can never share. I suggest a couple of things... 1) try to get your boyfriend to be friendlier to her. they don't have to be best friends, but a part of the problem might be HIS behavior around the two of you. 2) next time this happens, try to asses your own behavior. What is your body doing? What is the tone and volume of your voice doing? Do you ever change plans ALREADY MADE with your friend in order to accommodate your boyfriend?

 My boyfriend really likes her he tries to talk to her all the time and is always inviting her to his when everyone goes over or to come out for drinks and she just says no and then tells me that no one likes her lol. My body language probably does change but i dont treat her any differently to how i did before. If we go out with a girl she doesn't know and i talk to the girl she is fine with it, if it was a boy regardless to bf she gets pissed off and then goes on about how no one is ever interested in her. I've introduced her to so many people who i knew liked her and they were all put off by how she acted. I'd never EVER ditch a mate for my boyfriend, thats out of line, its probably because i have a wide variety of friends so when ever she asks to do something i always happen to be doing something that night nd i dont ditch ppl to make someone else happy. I always suggest another day but by then she is upset saying i dont care about her....to be honest, before if someone asked me if my boyfriend came first i'd say no and if any of my friends were ever in trouble i'd go to the ends of the earth to help them no matter where i was or who i was with they know i always come to them. Sadly its just not reciprocated. So now i probably wouldn't say my boyfriend comes first but he deffinatly doesn't come second. theyre more or less equal importance just dif types of relationships.

it feels so nice hearing someone else have the same situation! that is exactly what is going on, its because we always were together she doesn't liek the fact i have other friends let alone a boyfriend which she has never had. She doesn't have a lot of friends because she doesn't let herself make friends, she isnt assertive or fun when people she doesn't know are around as she prejudges what they'll think of her! Its a shame because she is a lovely girl and we have been friends since we were little but like you said i've never felt this way about anybody before as i feela bout my boyfriend, he too is older (22) and im 18, he has an established career as manager of a restraunt and im now really involved in his group of friends, i met him through my best friend as she started working for him so i haven't abandoned anyone just tried to get them to join the group if you like. I would spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend if i had the option even though im young i really do think it could work maybe not forever but i can always hope! Your story has helped me put things in perspective! thank you so much, its a breath of fresh air not being told that friends should always come first because not always! Thank you :) xx

yeh that is more or less what my mum said to me when i was younger and upset about my appearance, it another lesson to learn and unless you've dealt with the situation where a young child has said something of the sort to you you can't say how you would deal with it. The government should do more to support parents and children with obesity issues or just in general to be honest! But before any one as a parent looks at their child and panics because they arent happy then take a second and before you do any drastic dieting which your child probably wont fully understand, ask them what THEY want to do. Believe me not alot of people do it.

Original Post by tini87:

Kids can be really horrible.. but at the same time, I don't think that there's anything wrong with helping kids lose some weight. I don't mean telling them "um. little timmy let's just face it you need to diet" but doing something a little more tactful...

 I agree you can help a child lose weight by all means what i was getting at was if you get bullied at school for whatever reason (i know its not just for being fat though that is just one of the top five things) then your parents shouldn't then push you into weight loss and even if they do they should change their lifestyle not just yours. Like you said teach kids to be healthy when they are young but by pushing your kid to lose weight but not changing the families lifestyle as a whole it just confuses and can make the child feel outcasted from his/her own family. Because your treating them differently. Let them make their own decisions and then just offer help or advice if they ask or its deemed neccesary.

personally i think the way the media portrays all these super skinny girls and how you watch your boyfriend or friends sit and stare in awe of how beautiful or 'fit' that person is.....it makes you insecure. Its like a natural thing that girls do to, if you see a guy with no shirt on with a nice tanned muscular body generally girls pull a not so attractive face and just drool over him! Guy do the same when they see girls but they never really do it over an overweight girl! Infact my friend the other day turned to my boyfriend and pointed out a girl with the EXACT same body shape as myself and went omg she is so fat! and my boyfriend more or less agreed (which i will not let him forget about!). Between the media and the people around you girls get insecure about how they look and so do boys! I want to be slimmer for myself but also for the way people look at me which is sad but its just the way things are now a days. I genuinly think my boyfriend will find me more attractive if i was slimmer and im not even big now! Its madness! I dont think they realise how carefully we listen to what they say and how much to heart we take it. You gotta be more careful with your words!

Original Post by smwhipple:

I found that joining classes, like dance classes, where I pay for them in advance really helps because I feel like I'm wasting money if I don't go.  Plus after a few weeks people get to know you and ask if you've been sick if you skip classes.

 Haha i know what you mean, it does feel like a waste of money and it is terribly embarrassing when someone asks if you've been ill and you think....no im just lazy?!

A friend of mines little sister is 14 and she is more or less doing what you are doing, she calorie counted and so on. She is currently in a hospital somewhere up north being treated for severe damage to several of her organs because she didnt eat enough so her body started to literally eat itself so i've been told from the doctor treating her ( i think he put it into stupid lingo for us regulars to understand!). At your age you should be out having fun and not caring about your weight or how you look. You will regret it! i don't think you should calorie count just eat whats good for you and be aware of what your putting in your body. Its the only way you'll be the right weight for your body and keep it that way.