Posts by vwilki01

My husband doesn't mind at all that I talk to my ex-husband, BUT we have a very open, honest, strong relationship and he can read over my shoulder whenever he wants. I know of some couples that don't even allow each other to go out to eat with a person of the opposite sex. I guess it is all about how much trust their is in the relationship. If you are already having trouble it may not be the time to connect with an ex.

On the other hand, if HE is causing the isolation (vs. you choosing it or getting busy) then it is possible that he would hate you talking to anyone. You may be better off getting out, relationships that FORCE isolation (again, different from just getting busy and losing touch) tend not to be healthy or sustainable.

Original Post by jessrene:

April 28th is my birthday and I have been struggling to lose these last 15-20 pounds, so I will join in, too! 

( I know this has been said in this thread already) Hey! We share a birthday. I'm trying to get down to 130-that's 10 lbs from where I am-by that day.

I want to join. I'm really, really struggling to get rid of this last 10.

Original Post by bubbles556

i dance like a crazy woman in my living room. 

i do fitnessy type exercises on my living room floor and i run in place with the kitchen timer set. well, that started because i thought that if i was going to pay to run on a little paper strip inside a concrete box, i might as well start at home for free. now, instead of paying for the strip of paper in a box, i run outside, thanks to finding CC and the C25k program.

 I dance like a crazy woman, too. I'm so glad I'm not alone because I keep thinking if anyone ever catches me I'll die from mortification. Of course, if I'm dead from mortification I guess I don't ever have to count another calorie....

I feel the same about gyms. Well, I would like to use the weights if other people didn't sweat and grunt all over things, but treadmills look a lot to me like that wheel we put hamsters on. I'm not a rodent, so I think I'll get out of the cage and walk outside on those (rare this year) days it is above 20.

Original Post by drea99:

 Just know it is hard! to live with a bf and work and do all the things you want.  Its not romantic at all to have his ass hair in the shower or facial hair in the sink, or fall into the seat or walk in to take a bath after he has had mexican food.  You get to know each other in a totally different way, and it takes a bit of the bloom off of the rose.

That's the truth!!

I think at 21 we all believe we are more mature than our parents believe we are.   So I think you are right where you are supposed to be.

Maybe they are concerned that you will get pregnanat OR that the two of you will feel that you "might as well get married" if you are going to live together. It IS harder to be mature enough to be married at 21. Being married is harder than looking only to your own future. Having children makes things harder yet. Maybe they are just trying to protect you from all those things.

I think it is nice that you don't want to cause drama with his parents or yours. Family relationships are so important, and it may be a sign of your own maturity that you aren't rushing into this without thinking about the effects of your relationships with your families.

However, there is a time when parents have to let go and let you do what you need to do. This might be the time for them. Maybe you could sit down and have an adult-to-adult talk about what their specific concerns are. That way you could truly weigh their opinion and they could feel they were being heard.

I've heard a lot of different answers for this, so I'd guess it is very individual. I personally can't lift or do yoga if I've eaten, but I have to eat before I go for a walk to have the energy to walk.

Anyway, I think the best answer I've heard on this one is you should eat something light and mostly carbs a little before the workout. Protein and fat are harder to digest.

It takes joints longer to heal/build up than muscles. So going a little slower may be a good idea. I'm doing NROLFW just 2 days a week because of knee and lower back problems. Also if something hurts I reduce weight or reps. I know that he specifies not changing the program much, but they assume you are at full health.

If you have a YMCA or college nearby you may be able to work out in a pool for very little money. I've heard from a friend that she does that and can take her kids. They enjoy it and she gets excercise. Working in water might be easier and you may be able to work up to weights.

I've found a lot less joint pain since I've started yoga. I use DVDs from the library. Yes, I know it is recommended that you have an actual instructor at first, but I live in the middle of nowhere and I'm too poor for classes anyway. Yoga has helped my back feel better and I know I couldn't do NROLFW now if I hadn't been doing the yoga for a year already.

We ate out a lot until I sat down and figured out what it cost per month to do it. I was amazed at how much we blew on "dollar menu" crap. But I'm cheap, so that was good motivation for me.

When you do cook, put half of it in the freezer before you serve it. Then it will be frozen and he will be less likely to eat it all BUT you will have a healthy meal to warm up instead of going out. Also, I almost live on yogurt, cottage cheese, kashi cereal, soup (low sodium varieties, which aren't really low) and "quick produce" like apples and celery. Usually I'm eating alone because my husband and I are on different shifts. I find those are fast, semi healthy things I can use in place of those real cooked meals. Then even if I overeat a little on the nights we eat together, at least I'm eating better the rest of the time.

Oh, I can trick my hubby with certain healtier foods if I don't tell him they are healthy. Triscuits go over well, as does double fiber bread. Ok, it isn't much, but it is the best I can do to get fiber down him and fiber into my diet at the same time.

Have you told him how you feel?

It doesn't sound that odd to me, I have had several friends who felt the same way at your age including myself. (Only one is now transgender, one lesbian, the rest of us turned into boring ole women with no fashion interest)

When I was your age I did a lot of bodybuilding, had short hair and wore baggy clothes with sports bras. I worked in a restaurant and must have been told 5 time a day that I was a very nice young man. I was never told I was a nice young woman. I think it was the man arms. I know stick seems more "boyish" but if you are just naturally curvy stick may not work for you. You may need to go with a more muscular build. Personally, if I never ate again I would manage to starve to death with curves. I had to compensate by building muscle onto the curves to cover them.

Well I don't follow the 40/30/30, but I was have a problem with getting enough protein without getting too much fat.

I eat fat free yogurt, lots of Kashi go lean cereal, and add a whey/soy protein powder to some of my food. I also eat a lot of chicken and egg beaters. Now the only time I go too far over on my fat is when I'm eating certain fish or too many nuts, and I don't mind that.

If I tried a 1,000 calorie a day deficit I would blow it on the weekends for sure. Maybe try less of a deficit so you aren't as likely to blow it for awhile. Once you have the habit of eating well 7 days a week, then maybe increase the deficit more.

He may be right and another doctor may tell you the same thing. However, I think you should get another doctor. You need one who will listen to you and communicate with you. It sounds like he has one answer and is not willing to listen to other possibiliities or even explain why his one answer is always correct.

Find someone who will listen to you, work with you, and explain things to you.

It is normal for me to "pay" for a day of bad eating after getting my body used to really good, clean eating. I have the evil bathroom trip, bloating, sometimes fatigue, and that remorse that makes me promise not to do it again. (Until next time.)

If you have several other students taking turns, riding burns calories, too. All that diving behind the seat and covering your head, nevermind the fact that your heart stays in cario/panic range the entire ride. :)

What is he binging on at night? Maybe when he complains about the snack foods during the day you can compare. A little Celery and PB at snack is better than a binge at night.

In the end, all you can do is help him with the motivation and information. If you try to push then he will hide his eating from you, esp when you go to college. An honest relationship is more important than getting him to eat healthy when you are watching.