Posts by danamichael

mashed... thanks so much.. dont feel so pretty these days.

gibbit... i am well.  congrats on the date i want details!  yeah the gain sucks!  it is bugging me out.  i mean it's good but its too fast for such low cals... im only at 2500.

dolly... wish i could even leave crumbs!!  the binger in me licks em up.

here's my day...

b... french toast and honey and a cup of greek yogurt (500 cals)

l... coffee with soy milk and stevia and a footlong subway veggie hoagie (640 cals)

d.... lobster tail and roasted asparagus in oil (710 cals)

s... popcorn and strawberries and a cup of frozen yogurt (650 cals)

total... 2500

just want to rant... scale jumped today... haven't felt like this in a while.  i am freaked out.  i feel fat but skinny.  i am not restricting but i feel like the weight is coming on soooooo fast for someone who is ONLY taking in 2500 cals a day.. what am i doing wrong?  i feel like its a lb. a day!  i feel gross and bloated and huge.

ugh.......

theofournay... salty belly lox is amazing!!! its like nova lox (smoked salmon) but it has been sitting in salt for days.  you can get it at any kosher deli.  i love it.

i ate intuitively for the first time today... not by cals or by calculations... and it actually still fell in my range by the end of the day with my usual snack.  it was scary at first but it was so neat... i felt normal!!! i went out for lunch and dinner so instead of calculating and planning i just had what i wanted and looked it up when i got home.... it was cool!!! I am proud.

b... 2oz. raisin bran and 1oz fiber one with 8oz soy milk and a cup of cottage cheese with vanilla extract in it (400 cals)

l.... greek restaurant..... entire hummus platter to myself as an app. and as entree i had a veggie and cheese pita (820 cals)

s.... 3 cups of coffee with stevia and soy milk (100 cals)

d... chinese restaurant..... steamed vegetable dumplings with ginger sauce to myself as app. and as entree i had shrimp and asparagus in lobster sauce (800 cals)

s.... popcorn and strawberries (380 cals)

total... 2500 cals

hey all... lots f posts today i cant keep up!

all i have time for is my food i have to run out... any suggestions on my diet?  i feel stuck like i do the same stuff all the time....

b..... 3oz cereal 8oz soy milk 8oz ff greek yogurt (400 cals)

l.... 8 soy nuggets, 4 veggie latkas, bag of garlic cauliflower (600 cals)

s... spinach artichoke omelet on toast with hummus (350 cals)

d.... cosi sandwich and salad and coffee with 3 stevia (750 cals)

s... popcorn and strawberries (400 cals)

total.... 2500cals

hey guys... saw nutritionist today and asked her why meat... she said its because even though i get alot of good fats and protein as a veg she thinks the benefits and iron i am missing in chicken and turkey and such is missing in my diet.  i am struggling with this.  i do not like the way animals are treated... yet i must be a hypocrite bc i DO eat shellfish and fish....  

thank you for your responses, i REALLY needed all that feedback!!!!  you are all sooo amazing!

I do like the way the chicken tasted the other night and it didn't make me feel sick surprisingly being that its been years.  but i felt so guilty.

its just that i became a veg initially to lose weight and became a pesc. when i got better to get more protein bc the idea of eating meat and poultry still bothered me as far as the way the animals were treated... but i dont even think about it when i eat fish... weird?  i dont know.

i guess ill play it by ear... it would make life easier bc it would open up the doors to me being able to eat more places but in lieu of me bending my morals?

here's my day....

b.... cosi breakfast sandwich and a coffee with soy milk and stevia (580 cals)

l... tried the restaurant the PITA PIT (never went there before bc i thought it was too "high cal" ha!  take that ed)  its soooooo good you build your own pita and its super fresh.  I had a falafel and veggie and hummus pita and a bag of staceys chips and some baby carrots (710 cals)

d... boca chili, 2 cups freekah, large slice zucchini souffle, 6oz asparagus, 4oz soy chicken (790 cals)

s... yummy mix i made up... cup cottage cheese with vanilla extract mixed with a so delight soy vanilla/orange bar topped with reddi whip (400 cals).... trying something new...

total... 2500

aqua and afon... thanks guys... night went well!

clay... its hard to do the big big meals it can be scary but when you have to get in the cals you have no other choice!  

charlie and gibbit.. miss u ladies!!!

heres my day......  wait for the big reveal at the end im bugging about it

b... usual french toast with honey and greek yogurt (500 cals)

l... coffee with 3 stevia, falafel and tofu sandwich on wheat pita with roasted red peppers and artichoke hearts and a bad of birdseye garlic cauliflower (620 cals)

d... 6 oz. CHICKEN and 2 cups brown rice ranchero with kidney beans and roasted veggies in oil (810 cals)  HOLY CHICKEN I AM HAVING MEAT!!! I AM SORRY ANIMALS!!!!!!!!!!!! FEAR FEAR FEAR MORAL WRONG!!!!!!!! IS THIS A SIN OR AN ED THING? Taking nutritionist advice and having real meat... having had real meat in many many years... hope i dont get sick... hope the poor chicken I am eating doesn't come haunt me in my sleep!  Ahhhhhhh.. ok breathe.

s... usual popcorn and strawberries but adding frozen yogurt at new cool place that just opened up that has soy frozen yogurt (570 cals)

total... 2500 cals

who else is at 2500 cals or above?? curious...

i made a weird yummy too for breakfast yesterday! took a cup of cottage cheese andone handi-snack sugar free vanilla pudding and an ounce of reddi whip whipped cream and mixed it all together with vanilla extract and froze it for an hour... then sprinkled cinn. and stevia... hello ice cream delight with low carbs and lots of protein.

it takes a while for the cues to come back.  i have been eating well and increasing for 4 moths and mine are not back yet...

rely on the clock and on a number of cals for now as much as it sucks.

afon... i cooked dinner so i was in control... guess its kind of a cop out...

i am so annoyed today.. i am a planner and i had my day planned... i knew i had a training for many hours so i planned a high carb and protein breakfast so i could eat a specific sandwich at starbucks on my break and have an apple and a whole lot of coffee as a snack... then i would have a high carb and fat snack before i went out to dinner with a girlfriend; knew where we were going and i knew my meal would probably be super high protein and veggies and my usual night snack... done done and done....

day did not work out as followed...

had my breakfast and my first snack...ok... then the break we got was only 1/2 hr and we didnt have time for starbucks so i had to run to cosi and get a different sandwich with diff. nutrition facts... fine but was annoying.

got home and had the snack... ok...

then my friend cancelled out dinner... grrrrr....

so i just made what i had here but it wasn't what i wanted or what i wouldve chosen and my ed went crazy.  yeah im fine and yeah its all good in the hood and its still in my range and all but it made me mad that i even got mad.... i hate that i have to plan everything.  i feel like i went fat and carb mad...

the guy i am dating wants me to sleep over friday and all i can think is "**** what do i do about night snack and breakfast next day?"

will that ever end?  it cant always be a planned and perfect day!  normal people dont plan days around food.

b.... banana stuffed french toast with honey and a cup of cottage cheese with vanilla extract in it (550 cals)

s... alot of coffee with soy milk in it and stevia and an apple with peanut butter (230 cals)

l... cosi's fire roasted veggie sandwich (i do recommend it highly... 324 cals)

s.... hummus with olive oil and pita chips (360 cals)

d... 2 filets of gorton's buttered tilapia, steamed veggies, bag of garlic cauliflower, slice of vegetable souffle (690 cals)

s... popcorn and strawberries (380 cals)

total....2534

thanks for all the support on the fear foods!  i challange you to do at least one by the weekend... ok... ready...go! haha.  You know, I woke up today and no change... I am alive and well.

Had nutritionist today.  went well.  I gained 1.5 lbs this week.  she reccomended i begin eating meat... what do you all think?  i hate meat.  been a pesc. for a long time... though it did start for ed reasons...

I had a busy day... worked polls in phila in am then in nj in pm... ahhhh so i am hopped up on coffee and can't wait to watch results!

b.... 2 packets of oatmeal made with soymilk and a cup of cottage cheese with 1tbs vanilla extract and 1000000 cups of coffee with alot of stevia (450 cals) 

l.. starbuck's new sandwich (YOU MUST TRY ITS SLAMMIN!!!!!)... goat cheese and roasted mushroom on multigrain piccolo roll with red pepper puree..mmmmmmm and a very large apple with 2 tbs peanut butter (a fear food btw) (690 cals)

d.. 2 cups brown rice with 1.5 cups vegetarian chilli and roasted cauliflower and asparagus in olive oil (im getting much less scared of olive oil the more i use it) (810 cals)

s... popcorn and strawberries (400 cals)

total... 2350 cals... we shall see how i am feeling or who wins.. maybe a celebration will be in order... ill update if so.

oooh also i read an amazing article you should google about the link between malnutrition and the obsession with nutrition.  ie; how most anorexics love to cook and look up recipes and become vegetarians and such (I am no exception as a woman  and a pescatarian with a nutrition degree and a cert in personaltraining who takes thousands of cooking classes and loves to cook and bake... its an amazing study done in WW1 called the ANCEL KEYES STARVATION STUDY.  they took voulenteers without eating disorders and starved them until they lost 40 percent of their body weight and the subjects became consumed with food and nutrition.  It's bizzare!

ill post food later just wanted to read a bit because when i check at the end of the day its like 4 pages and i get overwhelmed:)

thanks to everyone who answered my question before

agru... i understand where you are coming from.. careful not to make newcomers afraid to ask questions... i am proud of where you are and hope to be there soon and i am proud  where i am, i have come very far and will only go further.. but we have our days as well and its nice to have a place where we can safely ask the questions we need to ask.  but it does get to me as well when i see restriction on here... yet i have to remember where i am and that we are all recovering and in diff. stages... and its my ed it is effecting in reality bc i end up fearing what i am doing (not that you are).  but i must say mama... you are rockin this thing head on and you are one hell of an example for anyone so i hope you dont stop posting!  i know you inspire me!

sir... i lost alot of hair... heres what my nutritionist said.... the scalp has been dead for 7 months so what is falling out is what you did to yourself nutritionally then.  as long as you keep eating enough calories and keep eating healthy fats and keep your protein high it will grow back... but it takes time.  it is the last thing to both fall out and return so it will take a few months to see a difference.  but you are done restricting so it will only get better from here.  thats what i tell myself.  i had beautiful full hair.  now it is thin and though i have no bald spots thank god, i know as i hold handfuls after each shower that it is a reminder to eat and be healthy.  and i didnt lose hair at 54 lbs... i lost it 2 yrs later at 90lbs... so those of you who think you are in the clear... keep eating because if you keep cutting corners you will run out of paper i promise.  it takes a long time for malnutrition to hit the hair follicals.  dont fret, it will return!!!  i feel for you!

in the meantime switch to baby shampoo and no conditioner, it is gentler, do not blowdry, do not use rubberbands only clips, only brush once a day, and only wash 3 times a week max because the oil is wonderful for it.  also a vitiman called biotin is helpful and omega fish oils as well.

food to come.... im doin great today!!!!!

thanks for all the replies guys you all save my life every day.  i soooo know it wasnt a binge.  my binges are thousands of cals this was only 800 i was just confused as to why i did it was all since i wasnt hungry.

lulu... they will ask you questions, do bloodwork, weigh you and assess your mental state in your ed.  it will be a positive thing.

gibbit.. you ok honey??

pumpkin...  would be happy to give you recipes... i loooove to cook

heres my day.... my big meals:)

b... high protein angelfood loaf with ricotta/cottage icing (500 cals)

l... coffee with 3 stevia, soy nuggets, 1/2 cup roasted corn, broiled potatoes, 4 veggie pancakes (600 cals)

d... coffee with 3 stevia, 2 shrimp and crab cakes, 2 cups of rice, 4 oz shrimp, bag of garlic roasted cauliflower (i think im obsessed with this meal.... 820 cals)

s... popcorn and strawberries (400 cals)

total... 2320 cals

thanks i would love more input from everyone about this...

sir.... i think its good u had 2 snacks... i think thats why my cals for each meal look higher bc i dont spread it out.  i do my bulk at night too im just not as hungry during the day.  i mean do we really know full or hungry yet?  i dont think so.  our brains will convince us we are full bc of our ed.. i know i think i a hungry just bc i am sad... its crazy.  wait.. you eat 1400 a day?????

aqua.. thanks babydoll!! you did amazing telling ed to F off!!

lulu... assessment is just that.  be honest with them.  are you over 18?  you cant be forced to do anything if so but they will be honest with you as well and tell you what is best for you depending on what shape your bmi is in and your stats... sometimes going away is the best thing you can do... keep us updated and if you need to talk i am here.  i have been assessed and not put in and i have been assessed and gone away... its 50/50 but if you are over 18 its kinda on you... but take advice!

clay... you'll get there... it's freeing to tackle the fears.

gibbit and charlie... just sending love bc I MISS YA!

so ill post food later i just wanted to let you know if you didnt that today is NATIONAL VEGAN DAY... so if you are curious... try it out for a day.  No animal product of any kind... this includes dairy loves.  I am a pescatarian who is a lactard so its not too rough for me... and their pastries are AMAZING!  I have been baking all day...

i tried something diff. today and i regret it now.  i ate my bigger meals earlier... but being that i dont ever feel full now its night and i still want my big bulk snacks.  im not even hungry til night so i should prob stick to my med. breakfast and lunch and large dinner and night snack.  i raised my cals and now even though i may want more my ed will not let me... not that i NEED more i am just USED to more and i am an addict and a creature of habit and i dont know what full tastes like. grrrr. anyway......

b... 4 slices french toast with 3tbs syrup a cup of cottage cheese and a blueberry muffin (600 cals)

l... eggplant parm with 2 servings of freekah and a veggie medley (700 cals)

s... 4 veggie latkas with sour cream (300 cals)

d... 2 crab cakes, 2 cups of trader joes shrimp fried rice, 6oz asparagus (650 cals)

s... popcorn and strawberries (250 cals)

total... 2500 cals  my highest to date... and the night snack is my smallest to date and not satisfying in size.  i dont know i am ever satisfied or done eating unless i "feel" full.  like pain or bloating or so stuffed i cant move... otherwise i need to keep going.  does that stop?  ive been eating alot more and gaining for 3 months now...