Posts by musicismydestiny

Bully for you and your imaginary three doctors. This is your posting pattern and it's ridiculous. Just stop it. Attention seeking posts that subtlety glorify DEADLY habits are tantamount to just busting out your pom poms for eating disorders.

I know you enjoy the attention, clearly...but please. A big fat helping of inner pensive dialogue would do you much more good than posting here.  Yea, or something. 

Your junior high guidance counselor can refer you to some help. Use them, that's what they're there for.

Like, wow, ok?

I have to say that I watched myself doing squats in the mirror this morning and was all...HOW THE HELL DO I KEEP MY KNEES NOT OVER MY ANKLES???  I was thinking that I was some freak of nature for being unable LOLOL.

Quick question....I do squats either 2 or 3 days a week (I do FULL body strength alternating M/W/F or T/TH week to week) holding 15 pounders on each side (whoo hoo up from 10 today!).  I do 50-60 reps split between upper body stuff...plus 60 reps on the leg press.  'Zat too much???

Puppykisses, I can SEE the definition but it's still buried under my, erm, fluff and it's making me insane.  Come out come out!!!

I dunno.

Do we really and truly believe (and I'm not asking to be a wiseass) "People who are knowledgable about eating healthy are far and few in between"?? Perhaps the general public isn't as wise (coughobsessedcough) as we are, but I fail to believe that your average human being isn't well aware of the nutritional trainwrecks they're supersizing themselves into.

The issue at play in South Central LA goes FAR beyond the surface. It involves issues of class, politics and race that are, IMHO, a bit too complex to discuss on this board---unless people really want to go down that road. The idea is to bring in viable sit down restaurants which largely do not exist in that area, but really, does your average chain restaurant have any less/more nutritionally unsound options? It's not exactly like they're offering subsidies to healthy eating establishments to set up shop. It's not like the local government is encouraging community gardens.

I'm ok with this move for many reasons, and vehemently against it for others---much of my opposition being to terminating jobs for people who desperately need them. The area is a vast wasteland for grocery store options----and while these options are theoretically available to residents, they may be required to take 2+ buses or otherwise take an hour or more out of their schedule to get there and back, which makes it a practical impossibility for low-income folks.

I guess what I'm saying in my oh so charmingly long winded way is this:

It's a MUCH bigger issue than MOST of us who do not live (both dwell and exist) in the area can possibly comprehend.

EDITED because freedomfrom has a point and I needed to change my qualifier ;). 

All I can tell you from vast experience is this:

You just tortured the ever loving crap out of your body for x number of years.  It hasn't the slightest idea what is going on right now---and it's clinging to healthy calories for dear life.  You're going to gain for a little while until you regain some balance---electrolytes, metabolism---it's all screwy right now.  There's truly nothing you can do about it, and your best bet is to come to terms with that fact.  You've gained a lot very fast, but please know this is a temporary thing and what you need to do to get healthy.  It blows like a hooker trying to pay rent (sorry.) but it's a small price to pay to defeat this wretched addiction. 

KEEP WORKING OUT.  Keep eating a reasonable amount of calories.  Eat small meals so as not to feel "stuffed" (for me, that's the biggest possible trigger, and I STILL suffer from it almost daily if I'm not extremely careful with my portions).  Use CC or another website to log what you eat....make sure you're getting a healthy amount of fiber and fat and protein. 

Time, kiddo.  It's going to take time.  And if you need to focus your strength on anything, it's keeping your head out of that bowl.  I'm sorry to be so crass, but it's an ugly disease and needs ugly images to remind us of that.  Try not to be too hard on yourself or your body---think of it as a relationship gone bad that you're trying to repair.  It's going to take some time and an investment of trust on BOTH your parts to heal.

It never stops being hard. I'm sorry to tell you that. BUT, you can take solace in the fact that this is as hard as it will GET...and it can only get better. And when you, for some reason, feel like it's this bad again someday---you'll know that you got through it once before.

Getting up, having some banana bread and going back to bed? AWESOME. Retraining your habits is going to take a long, long time. Maybe for a while the key is not to struggle to ignore the craving, but instead to indulge it with a quick healthy treat. Hell, even last night you had it and didn't purge. Step freaking one, I'd say.

I honestly would recommend, not as a medical professional but as someone with an education in mental health AND a history with the disorder....you really need to place recovery as a priority over losing weight right now. The recovery takes mental focus and dedication and emotional work that you can't look at while also dealing with weight loss. The working on weight loss can be not only a trigger, but a saboteur to the recovery by demanding focus you can't spare. You're better off eating at a maintaining level so you don't lose but don't gain. And you may gain at first...your metabolism is **** confused as all hell. But as long as you are retraining your body while still working out, you are likely to stay toned.

Mellow out, kid. You're doing fine. This isn't supposed to be a picnic. It's hard and sucks and you'll hate it until the day you are stoked you went through it because you came out the other side.

Believe that.

(PS: I got so distracted writing this by the time I posted it Peaches gave you a great answer1)

Original Post by bucketofglitter4:

It's just funny how backwards bulimia is. For me, I always knew it wasn't helping me lose weight, and actually just helping me to gain it...but I couldn't stop. And in an effort to love myself more by becoming skinnier, I hated myself every time I purged....so the whole thing is totally illogical.

 

You are one smart cookie, kid.  I wish I had come to that realization 2 years in.  Bulimia is awesome for weight loss.  For about 3 months.  Then you're not losing a DAMN thing, but you've gained an addiction and even lower self-esteem than you began with...along with the oh so fun health and cosmetic issues.  Ironic, isn't it?

Hang in there.  And even if your parents won't pay for counseling---find a group.  A local clinic.  Something.

You've got the tools to beat this, that much is crystal clear.  You just need someone objective to make sure you're using them.

To see what's really working for real life people. But, to read anything on the Internet (or in a magazine that isn't - at minimum - a peer reviewed science journal) and take it's word as gospel is f'ing ridiculous.

Find what you like. What you can commit to. What seems to be working for you. Do that. If it doesn't work or you hate it (and so will never stick with it) don't do it. Find something else.

Can I PLEASE get an amen? I'm really so over the whole cardio bad/strength training good gospel. Why can't people realize that every single body responds differently to different methods? I'm a firm believer in a combination of calorie deficit, cardio and strength training/weights. I think this constant hammering that cardio is a waste of time is truly discouraging to people who come to this board psyched to begin a new way of life---and then see that cardio is just silly, well, not exactly a good way to encourage newbies, is it?

Science is fantastic. Big fan. But science to one test group is bull **** to another. The methodology that works for my best friend isn't necessarily going to work for me. To be honest, I've not yet found what DOES work for me---but it sure as hell isn't all cardio OR all strength training. The intimation that cardio is just for ditzes who can't read well enough to understand that the only way to get results is by lifting weights? Getting just slightly out of control around here, me thinks.

I've actually found myself being upset when I read another person being reprimanding for GASP wasting time thinking the elliptical is going to help them lose wright---I mean, I must be sabotaging my attempts at weight loss by doing so much exercise! HELLO COUNTERINTUITIVE, HOW ARE YOU?

Don't get me wrong, Melkor is VERY well educated around his particular belief system and has been known to offer fantastic advice regarding getting started on and maintaining a strength training program. In fact, there are quite a few posters on here who have intimate knowledge about the subject and share freely---but really, does it have to turn into a pissing contest every single time? Why all or nothing? If people are creating a deficit and enjoying their cardio, what the hell do you (the royal you, here) have to gain by intimidating them? Getting through that 30 minutes on the treadmill is a major accomplishment to some folks, why not celebrate it as opposed to degrading the effort? The more folks exercise, the more likely they are to KEEP exercising. All good in my book.

How, exactly, did people lose weight 40 years ago before all this new information? What did people do before peer-reviewed scientific journals?

Is the implication that exercise of any kind is a waste truly the message we want to be giving out here?

No offense intended, kids. Just my 2 Euros. Worth more than a US cent these days...

I honestly believe that we as a group are under the assumption that if we do X Y and Z the weight loss will absolutely occur. I'm going to have to go ahead and disagree. I "should" be losing 1.5-2 pounds a week. This is not happening. At all.

I just don't think it's necessarily the absolute truth to every body. I personally have done it all right (and tried everything, log everything, more calories, less calories, less cardio, more weights, and on and on) and am barely losing. Am I healthier than I was in May, good dog, YES. Am I smaller? I am juuuuuuuust noticing differences, although subtle. Have I lost weight? Yup, but not nearly what I should have after 11+ weeks of this. I'm beginning to think that my body just isn't having any of this thin stuff---and while I love that I'm feeling FIT, it pretty much sucks to not see progress like I should. And the 3 straight weeks of bloating is not helping either ;).

Bottom line is this: the science is absolutely there that if we follow the rules, the results will occur. That said, there is science and there is personal reality, and if you truly are focused and working and nothing is happening---that you can't beat yourself up too much.  We're all different and we all respond to "dieting" differently, just like there are bodies out there who have never needed a "diet" in their lives regardless of what they eat.  I'm going to keep pressing on, assuming that one of these days POOF all this hard work will manifest into thinner on the outside---and appreciate that healthy on the INSIDE is a great thing as well.

Mmmmmmmtomatosandwiches.  Sorry.  Off track.

Sodium is VERY hard to watch...I think it's almost harder than fats and calories, specifically when you AREN'T eating processed food!  The boxes with the nice nutritional values on them make life easier, even though it's not the optimal meal.  I'm right with you on the salt thing---I have to audibly scold myself when I reach for the shaker.

I'm not seeing you're eating too exceedingly heavy on the processed stuff---if everything you ate came out of a tv tray, then yeah.   As a non-meat eater myself, I'm shocked daily to see how much protein I get without even trying...another fallacy of being a vegetarian, no, we will not die of lack of protein because we don't eat meat ;).  You're on the right track with the beans idea, but perhaps playing around with OTHER beans is the idea.   I totally dig you on the lack of time issue, but perhaps it's time for you to put aside an hour a week to grocery shop and then another hour to prepare some good healthy stuff to stash in the fridge for the week.  Almost anything you make will keep and/or can be frozen---and those 2 hours will save you scads of time during the week AND help you get better nutrition.  Soups are GREAT and soooo easy---I swear every couple of weeks I throw different veggies into a blender with seasoning and WOW...amazing every time (for example: asparagus + diced tomatoes?  YUM.). 

Watch for sales on Boca or Morningstar or any other meat sub stuff.   Soy crumbles are insanely versatile---throw them into one of those soups, pasta, whatever.  Also, ooo....the cartons of "fake eggs" are SUPER, especially the new ones with veggies and stuff already in there as a base.  You can have a cup of those "eggs" with cheese and more veggies----for an enormous meal at 300 calories or less. 

Bottom line is the same as eveliina said above: how many calories you get is important, what KIND of calories is critical.  I mean,  I could happily eat my 1400 calories in Brie---I'd just be slightly (ahem) unhealthy doing it.

Good luck!

Original Post by argylesweater:

as many people here are very overweight, i think they tend to see most smaller people as all being too thin.

your outfit in the b pictures is mega cute as well.

I came back to edit something and HAD to respond to this.

I personally wear a size 8, sweetie. Oh yeah, and the remains of 15 years of an eating disorder. So no, I'm not very overweight nor do I "see all smaller people as being too thin"---I see people who have BONES PROTRUDING FROM THEIR BODIES AS TOO THIN. How much more offensive could you possibly be? Yeah, all us fatsos around here think those who are thin are all too thin----we're jealous, right? Please. Thanks so much for the generalization, really. Incredibly healthy.

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii all.

I've been slacking in posting because well...mama always says if you've got nuthin nice to say...

Been a **** week or two lifewise and while I DEFINITELY didn't fall off the gym wagon, I definitely DID eat more.  Not tons more, but like a couple hundred calories a day more, which I had hoped would be some miracle to my body---the clouds would part, the fat would fall off.  Not so much.  Still miserably stuck.  I feel like I've made exactly no progress in a month, and frankly, I can't even believe I'm still trying.  The insomnia and (let's face it) major sadness/disappointment inspired stress cannot be helping, this I know.  Additionally, I've been doing much more weights/weight machines and having to drop out some of the cardio to fit it all in, so that cannot be helping the burn.  I did exactly nothing for exercise this weekend, and I have to be honest---45 minutes of strength training and 20 of High Impact Cardio feels like not a work out to me.

Blood tests were done a week ago today and I cannot effing wait to get them back.  How bloody sad that I'm HOPING for something to be wrong, because otherwise I have no answers here.  I'm dropping back to 1200-1300 this week because I have no idea what else to do. 

Sigh.  Yeah.  I've been doing a lot of that sighing crap lately.

Dear Manta:

Please tell Australia to give me my best friend back.  She's there another 2 weeks and frankly, I kind of need her here.  Wait, selfish.  How about just telling Australia to show her one hell of a time so I can at least live vicariously through her?

Thanks!

Mollie.

nOOber.

drinkOOb.

So you've got that going for you, which is nice.

I walk 4 miles a day (at about 3.5MPH) to and from work in addition to my gym regime.

Dunno if it's working, but it sure is saving me gas money ;).

PS: Dogs are GREAT motivation...but Haley---I do know my beagle was never an excercise partner:

walk, walk, sniff, pee, walk, sniff, pee, eat something off the ground, sniff, walk, approach person going by to see if they have something to eat, pee, walk, sniff

Honestly, I struggled with this exact same issue this morning.  Lunges turned my legs to jello.  If jello could be painful, that is.

I went.  And I'm really glad I did.  I stuck with only cardio, as it was a rest day for ALL strength stuff for me....the cross trainer felt great, actually.  The treadmill not so much, but I pushed through it.  An hour later I was stoked that I didn't blow it off.

I'd say go.  If the class is too much to endure, excuse yourself and go find another tool to get your workout in.  Just leave the lower body weights alone!!!

Lulufit: virtual high five sister!!! WHOOOO!

Lynnhaslost: you are one strong lady. Try your method. If it doesn't work, then stop taking him out and don't buy him anything else. Plant your own flowers and tend your own soul, hon. You deserve the best---and I don't mean expensive cars and caviar, I mean the best of someone's heart.

levackbound: MMMMMMMMM cheesey Poofs. Don't let it get you down, we all slip. I tripped and fell into 4 non-light beers last weekend.

As for me: ugh-o week. Still massively bloated and stuff, the back is a wreck and hurts so much I wince when I turn my head, and now I've increased my strength training massively because I'm really irked with my lack of progress---and let me tell you ladies, weight squats hurt like a mofo the next day. For reals, I feel about 100 years old today :(. Add some work related bad news and missing "my" man immensely, and Mollie=sad sack. I'm not losing because of the um, plumbing problems and bloating---and NOTHING I do is helping. I'm going to bite the bullet this weekend and do an epsom lax.  I keep imagining that once I get this straightened out, I'll magically be down 5 pounds and my tummy will be flatter than it was---I mean I've still been working out for the week it's been happening!!!  RIGHT???

At least I THINK I've identified the culprit---lots of fiber + not enough fat + a couple week period where I cut my water in half because I was sick to death of peeing every 15 minutes=ruh-roh. We'll see, I guess.

Going to an ND on monday who does Craniosacral therapy and holistic work---the woman I want to see who does accupuncture is gone until August, so I guess I'll start with this kid. And I MEAN kid. He's 4 years younger than me....and when I googled him-----

----he has a Facebook page. I'm slightly nonplussed! Then again, so do I so ;)

Happy Long Weekend, all. No big plans for me outside of fireworks tonight and a lot of cleaning--my house AND my insides!!