Posts by scronny

My adult daughter (30 yrs old) has ADD.  I think back  and I remember telling the doctors that something in her personallity was not right, FOR DECADES! She became worse in high school and they diagnosed ADD, and a mood disorder; many times this is something that accompanies ADD, and of course she has an IQ of 165.  Very common for ADD people. Often times ADD adults develope depression, moodiness (putting it lightly).  We struggled through 7 yrs of college, she did graduate with low grades, but it was a huge triumph for her. She has had no gainfull employment since she gradualted 4 years ago. No job lasting more than 5 mons. Recently she did get a job as a cashier at a liquour store, and is doing well, she likes her job and they like her.  Life with her has been rocky to say the least! Trying to explain her behavior and emotions to other people has been difficult to say the least (including her siblings, one who has no signs of ADD/ADHD, does very well and one who has mild signs but does well). I am divorced their father when she was 5 and tried to "love her more" because of her behavior, thinking it was all my fault.  This I believe now did not help her at all. She needed more structure and more of pulling her back on task.  She is doing better, but I have also become a better mother.  She is special, and has special needs.  I have to remember to guide her when I she some of her compulsive behavior and not nag.  It is difficult, especially since I am very under weight (that's why I'm here) and she is very over weight. 

Oh, yay, and the disgusting room thing, that's my baby!  She likes to see all her stuff but gets very over whelmed when she tries to clean.  She will go in bursts, but then just stop and can't do anything for weeks.  She is also a compulsive buyer often times over drafting her checking accts and getting into collections.  I once asked her if that $174.00 pizza was worth it, she just said she was hungry and had no food in the house.

This may not help, but you are not alone.  I am a mother and will always be a mother, but you need to decide if you want to be a mother to him.  Because if he won't admit if he has a problem and get help and you stay with him, that is what you will be, a mother.  ADD is like diabetes, it never really goes away, but it can be managed WITH TREATMENT & MEDICATION & SUPPORT GROUPS.

Good luck!