celebrities make me feel suicidal

Jessica Alba has to be one of my top favourite sexy women just under angelina jolie - But there is part of me that gets more and more depressed when i realise how far i am from looking like her.

I like them because i fancy them but at the same time they make me think - whats the point? Whats the point in trying when i will never be up there with them?

My boyfriend sees alba as his ultimate woman and i think its funny that we share the same tastes in women but then when i hear him talk about her it makes me feel like - why is he with me then? Like i am the best he can do so thats what i am here for...

I decided that measurements were the closest thing i could get to looking like a celeb. My measurements are 35-30-35 and i want to 34-24-34 like alba or at least 35-25-35.

Maybe then i will feel slightly better knowing i am me but i have a celeb body. I just can't bare thinking like i want to just give up on life to look like them anymore its driving me crazy

The next time your BF says that Jessica Alba is his "ultimate woman" - tell him Brad Pitt is yours! Its understandable to have celeb crushes, but calling them your ideal/ultimate woman in front of your GF is really distasteful...especially because he doesnt even know her, and he is basically saying his ideal is a certain body instead of a certain person, which totally devalues you, his actual girlfriend, who he is sopposed to have a deeper connection with.

I noticed that your entire picture section is full of celeb pics. Maybe its time to stop reading magazines and stop caring about their measurements if all it gives you is unhappiness. You really dont have to look like or be a celebrity to be happy...look at all the celebs on drugs and in rehab. People are born with different skeletons, different muscle structures, etc. Its not realistic or practical to try to obtain a celebrity's same measurements.

i guess your right. Its just hard to just get rid of stuff like that when you live with people who are into the stuff everyday and you see it everywhere.  don't know how to get rid of the feeling but i know being happy with myself is the key - just trying to be happy is the hard part! I want to start my counselling again and maybe join a club to meet new people cos i know when i am in a group i usually feel more comfortable .

My boyfriend is a strange guy but i'm not sure if we will be lasting much longer cos he is going uni... maybe it will be time for a fresh start.

Be yourself and spend time with those that like you for who you are.  Celeberties are there for entertainment.  Friends are there for you.

I don't like celebrities, they all look fake, like wax dolls - men and women alike.

This is how I look at it...

If I had a personal trainer, a personal chef, a nanny, a stylist, etc. I could look just as thin (if not as tall -- LOL) as a lot of these celebrity moms do.

Of course, I am my own trainer, my own chef, my own nanny and let's face it, there is no stylist at my house! I'm doing the best I can in the real world and I have a real body. I want to be my best me, now that is sexy!

This post reflects the sad reality that society imposes upon many women (and men) today. We see these "wow" images of "beauty" and think that we must acquire those traits to achieve such "beauty." I put this very controversial word in quotes because no one person holds the definition of beauty. Beauty is a collective whole of all that is good. It is the light that shines within us which pours out through the surface of our skin. It is laughing until tears stream down our face. It is dancing like no one is watching, even if you are amidst 500 people. Beauty is feeling the the warmth of the sun against your cheeks as you peer out the window at melting snow. Beauty is staring into someone's eyes and seeing pure emotion. Beauty is little children chasing butterflies in their carefree, yet very aware playworlds. Beauty is our unique characteristics which set us apart and identify us against each other. Beauty is how we are remembered.

Beauty is NOT one type of body, one color of skin, hair or eyes. Beauty is NOT A classification of should-be's and unrealistic expectations. Beauty is not squeezed into a measurement, a height, or a BMI. Beauty cannot be measured on a scale, nor can the whole of beauty be seen by the eyes.

True beauty travels beyond the eyes and captivates the soul. It livens the melody in our hearts and sends tears of appreciation down our cheeks. Beauty does not come in one simple package, but rather it is a constant, evergrowing form.

No pair of lips defines beauty. No pair of eyes defines beauty. There is no body type, no muscle tone, no length of hair that can define what beauty really is.

But there is a riddler out there... running around on the covers of magazines, in all of our media, and throughout our own selves he lurks... holding a paintbrush in his hand trying to paint ONE image of beauty. People crumble before him and bow to his impossible standards. People turn their heads from their own BEAUTIFUL gifts, traits, and identities and try to conform to this image- all at the hands of this joker. This liar of lies! And as long as we allow him to continue painting over OUR uniqueness, he destroys the presence of true beauty. He robs us of our joy and steals away our passion for LIFE. He consumes us with obsessions and drives us into envy, lust, and madness. Now who REALLY wants to allow this to go on for another day? Why should your beauty be misnamed as a FLAW?

Beauty is accepting yourself for who you really are- And I challenge each and every one of you to find what real beauty is to you.

(And if you are with someone who holds a celebrity on a pedestal as his or her "ultimate" anything... the person is trapped by the paintbrush of folly. Do not rob yourself of your real beauty- Repaint what beauty means to you... and LIVE!!!)

Well said schmee5. If we all had personal trainers, dieticians, makeup artists, post-artists to airbrush our photos, and an insaitiable need for attention we'd look like celebs too! I struggle with this sometimes too, but then I think, "Would I give up my boyfriend who is the most wonderful man in the world for some hot celeb?" Never. I'm not settling, he is exactly what I want and he makes me feel the same way. It makes me wonder if people with all that "beauty" have love like I do. The frequency of celeb breakups says perhaps not.

It is sentiments like the OP that make me want to rip every issue of US, Star, and People off the shelves.  (Wont' do it of course...)

What People doesn't tell you in their "most beautiful people" issue is the "who get movie and television roles" part.  There are no pictures of the Nobel Laureats, of the doctors curing diseases, of ordinary plain looking mothers staying up with her sick child, or fathers without six pack abs playing baseball with their kids, or  grandmothers baking cookies for her family, or regular teenagers volunteering their time at the hospital or community center.  All of these people, and you, are beautiful, regardless of what magazines try to sell.

Celebrities are human too, and you might also notice how a lot of them wind up in desparate and intolerable unhappiness despite their perceived beauty and popularity.

Beauty is on the inside. 

You can't compare yourself to other people.  If your measurements are 35-30-35, then it is HIGHLY unlikely that you will ever be 34-24-34.  Everyone has a different body type and you can't change what you were born with.  Why does everyone think Jessica Alba is all that great anyways????   She's not.  I realized looonnng ago that I will never ever have a 24 inch waist.  Instead of comparing yourself to one friggin celebrity, why don't you focus on making YOUR body the best that it can possibly be?  Without setting unrealistic goals and focusing your entire life and self to measurements.  I'm sure there is much more to your life than your measurements.....well, I would like to hope so at least.

very poetic schmee

emiskirooni- i would suggest putting a ban on magazine's, at least, for a while. I have this problem too. I like to look at magazine's b/c i am a very visual person. When i see someone like jessica alba, i try to be inspired to work out and be healthy. But sometimes, when you aren't in the most positive frame of mind, those photos can only put you into that 'i wish i looked like that/i'm not good enough if i don't look like that' state.  I stopped buying any magazines except for Self or other health-oriented magazines. This has helped me a lot. When i watch tv, i watch shows like csi or shows that make me laugh or think- not shows that are just about hot bodies and the drama of thin, rich people. Now i have my own personal goals, which i strive for, and which admittedly still sometimes make me frustrated in my efforts to achieve. But I no longer am berating myself b/c i don't look like a supermodel.

My boyfriend and i also never compare each other to anyone else- on tv or in real life. We don't comment on how attractive celebrities are. We focus on each other and help each other reach our personal goals with positive encouragement. If your boyfriend can't do that for you, then yes, maybe you should hold out for someone who can. Don't settle.

I am a mix of several different ethnicities. I have distinct features that represent each one of those ethnicities, but that don't tie me to any single one in particular. I will never look like the mass ideal woman, and that is something i have come to accept, b/c while those girls are beautiful- i can be beautiful too. Through proper diet, exercise, and hygiene- i will make my outside self, reflect my inside self. I suggest you do the same. LOVE YOURSELF!

this post makes me want to smack you in the face. lol

schmee5 your my freaking hero! hahahaha took the words out of my mouth... DAMN YOU!!! :P  I guses ill just say something truthful but offensive. lol

your bf is retarded.  No offense but there is no ultimate woman.  all in his dinky head of whats "perfection".  Still, there is those proportional mesurements that you cant escape from.  Anyways, sad your guy thinks she's the ultimate person and not you.  Ah well to each his own if you want to settle lol
[because really, thats the truth.  dont you think he's your ultimate man or are you settling for that? Hummm]

ps.  schmee5 I disagree about your view on society though.  Society didnt impose anything.  Who do you think make up society and Take the message from it?  WE DO.  Its so silly it makes me want to take a sht.  We complain about us brainwashing ourselves.  AHAhaha (truely stupid)

brainwashed and retarded as i am i hope i can llearn to rely on myself to feel happy and make sure i get to the point i can except my body .

When i feel suicidal or like im never gonna get to be the person i want to be and feel the way i want to feel i find it hard to talk to real people because of the risks of being judged.

The selfishness of suicidal thoughts always makes me reaslie how stupid it is too ruin the lives of other people because u cant except the way you look. I would never do it because of the grief my family would feel. The unfareness of it outrules my sadness.

Writing stuff like thiis  on this website is my way of trying to make sense of what i am feeling like everyone does... by hearing what outsiders have to say.. people i never have to see or know in real life. People who cant touch me if i dont want them to.

The replies i have got from all my posts since being on this website have mainly been ones telling me i'm wrong or that im off my head or that im anorexic or exercise bullimic and all that crap.

I'm just trying to see if otheres feel the way i do... how they perceive life in a world obsessed with sex and the perfect look.

Thats all really -  ill stop whining now so that you can stop writing your 50th post on how stupid people like me are.

the world is only "obsessed with sex and the perfect look" if that is the world you put yourself in. simply refuse to get caught up in the hype and those superficial things will fade & you will begin to put them in perspective. if you (or someone you love) were diagnosed with cancer tomorrow, do you really think you'd care AT ALL that your waist is 5" larger than some celebrity? try to gain some perspective.

spend some time going outside of yourself - do something constructive with your time, your energy, your enthusiasm, and your BRAIN instead of sitting around self-indulgently obsessing about your weight & measurements.  i'm sure you have much more to offer the world in making genuine contributions to society - far beyond having any particular body shape.

to what more constructive purposes could you devote your life & your time? could you help cure cancer? could you help bring peace or safe drinking water to those in need? could you save animals at your local shelter? could you record books onto tape for visually impaired people? how could you better spend all of the time you spend worrying & feeling bad? could yo go play cards with elderly folks in your community at a rest home? get creative & get out of your head a little and live life without obsessing over yourself so much.

i think you should get counseling for your suicidal thoughts. if you are considering suicide just because you  have a 30" waist & not a 25" waist, then you need to talk to a professional to get your thinking back on track with reality. please talk to someone & try to get some perspective. life is about SO MUCH MORE than your weight & measurements.

I do share the same feeling towards celebs - pretty face, nice body - who wouldn't want that? And really, it's so difficult to not be brainwashed by all those media when you grow up surrounded by it. So I do deeply empathize with you. However, it's not worth your time or effort to mope about it because everybody is so different and it's not fair that someone is the "ultimate" beauty only by their looks. So stop thinking about it! They aren't related to you, you don't even know them in person, they aren't important in your life!

-Lemon Jello

vudoo32x yes yes yes i agree with your first comment

and then for my two cents, girl, be lucky that your man is obviously in love with you and in all reality, if he didnt think YOU were the ultimate woman... he wouldnt be your boyfriend!!!!!! its not like hes telling you to be her. he doesnt even know her, he knows a character she plays in movies. she is a star because she has her own look going. you should focus on being the best you you can be, not on trying to look like someone else.

also i forgot to say, forget the bf anyway, you shouldnt let a man dictate how you feel about yourself. worthless.

celebs are all air-brushed and perfect looking and have a whole team do them up for film and camera.  Come on, we can't have that on a daily basis.

They have a lot of help with keeping in shape b/c they can afford it.

Also, before many celebs go on screen or camera they do pushups and situps and stuff so that they appear more tone.  Every notice you look a little nicer right after that workout, especially if you are close to your goal weight?

I know my arms wave back less right after doing some curls.

I would like to look like Michelle Pfifer.  I think we resemble, on a good day for me and a not so good day for her, LOL.  I really looked like her before.  Although I get the "you look like Uma Thermond (??? on the sp) when I am thin too.  And those two don't resemble.  I think it depends on how my hair is that day.  Anyway, anyway who thought I looked like a celeb didn't see my rearend.

Also, speaking of celebs and wanting to look like one.  When I was a little heavier I looked a lot more like Monica Lewinski.  So, you get the idea...I never looked the same until now.  Most days I am with the kids and don't fix my hair.  I keep my glasses on and I look like a modern day female Ben Franklin.

I'm sure your man loves you.  My hubby always said Meg Ryan was so cute when we were first married.  I recently saw her in one of the celeb rags and she was all dogged out.  He saw her once in Yellow Stone and she looked good all casual, but she has been affected by age.  He doesn't talk about what other women look like anymore.  It really didn't bother me, but I agree it is kind of rude.  We don't need any help feeling crappy about our body image.

Much of the world is VERY consumed by sex and sex appeal. And yes, it can be VERY depressing- I also went through a phase when I was extremely depressed about it. I had body dysmorphic disorder and I thought that I was deformed, even though no one else could see it. I was miserable and afraid to even face myself in the mirror because it would not be the image that I had hoped for. All I saw was a series of flaws blended together to form me. Then, God slapped me upside the head and made me realize how misguided I was. How these thoughts were implanted in me because I was obsessing over what everyone else looked like. It all started when I became involved in serious relationships and the men looked at and commented about other women. I couldn't understand it or relate to it and it made me feel inadequate. But once God woke me up, I realized that all of those worries and pains that I was going through were needless, trivial, and selfish. Why did I care so much what people thought about my looks? Where can that get me in life anyway? What was I lacking in myself that made me long for such superficial attention??

That is when I emptied my life of myself... I asked God to tear me down and rebuild me in His image. For His will. I asked Him to help me understand why I exist and what my purpose is. And all at once, it made sense to me. Now I won't say that I never have my days, but what I wrote in my previous post, I mean entirely. GOD sets the standard for beauty, not man. We are all so vastly different from one another- and each difference makes us beautiful and we should be CELEBRATING that not tearing ourselves apart over it.

I think that the fight to feel beautiful is actually a prideful thing. It might not seem so at first, but when you really put it into perspective, like carri said, against really important roles that you could play in the world, it comes through as superficial and self-centered.

It is never fun to hear that you are "wrong," and I don't think that anyone here has tried to implant a sense of wrongness in you. I think, rather, that we all just recognize what you are going through and want you to realize that it is not necessary and that a change of perspective can help to release you from this burden that you are carrying.

God defines beauty- and through Him, we are given new eyes through which to see the world AND to see ourselves. I appreciate myself for what I am- even the parts of me that I once saw as "flaws." They are beautiful because they are unique, they are essential to my individuality, and to the will that God made me to serve. If I were to obsess about changing them, that would be like painting over a perfectly good picture that your loving son, daughter, or friend made especially for you. And you painted over it because you thought it might look better "this way" or "that way," and meanwhile you break that person's heart because you never saw it the way they intended it to be.

Just trust that you are who you are for a reason. Every part of you... and I pray that you will wake up with a renewed sense of Life and be able to appreciate all of your beauty within yourself so that you may grow to be the best person that you can be- inside, outside, and all around!

Those celebrities are so RICH! They have hours and hours to make their bodies perfect and that is without air brushing! Anyone would feel bad ... next to those women. Most people dont have waists that small, I'll tell you that even skinny people.

I see what you are all saying and i'm grateful that some of you came back and explained what you meant its just that when i first get replies it feels like an attack on your thoughts but i guess people are just trying to tell you its not true..

My body isnt my only issue - my jaw is assymetric and i'm getting an operation to correcty it in the next few years... schmee5 made me realise that even a disfigured jaw may just be part of who you are. I get bullied about it occassionally but most people say they dont notice it. But for me ive waited so long to smile like a normal person that this is one change im happy to welcome. My body i may just have to get used to and deal with it being MY body and not jessica alba's.

On a light note - i've gotta say i think Jessica Alba can't act for her life lol .... at least i know i can make a life built on skills my beauty can't enhance. I'll never be a sex symbol but at least i have talent in my personality :)