How did you challenge your ED today?
Thought we could all post something... I used to always shout at my mum 'i AM trying! i'm EATING SOMETHING.' But i now realise that wasn't trying, that was just eating enough to lose weight. So i thought it might be nice for us all to post one or two things we did today to challenge ourselves in our road to recovery.
i shall go first :)
today i challenged my ED by increasing my AM snack by 100 calories, having a raw food bar instead of oat cakes and apple.
Reason: Moved from Weight Gain to Health and Support.
on halloween i was a hippie and i actually looked fat in ym costume :D
(as in a few weeks ago i tried it on and i looked like i was drowning in it)
I also had 4 Reese's peanut butter cups and 2 packets of Reese's Pieces along with eating chocolate peanut butter meal suppliment bars (with extra omega-3s) instead of a light morning snack so i packed in an extra 600 cals :) (plus im starting to crave things like chips and chocolate again, which i enver let myself have a month ago!)
today i had a late breakfast at 11 and even thouhg i was really full i knew i had to eat again around 2 because i already missed my morning snack. i wasn't even going to have anything but since my parents are so discouraged that my weight is going back down i decided to have a bagel with peanut butter and cottage cheese with grapes AND then a luna bar to make up for my missed snack.
i felt so guilty i started crying and wasn't going to eat dinner.
but i did. AND i tried something new.
god i just want to get over this and be able to think "so what if i had a granola bar? I need it"
ngemma: you did the right thing. even if they are too low to show it right now, your parents will be very proud and relieved that you made such a brave choice. and you should be too. you kicked ED where it hurt and it took guts. well done, girl! xxx
as for me: i was sedentary all day today (literally - i've been ill.. blargh) but i didn't restrict on anything!
i had a HUGE blue berry muffin and then decided to be really spontaneous and got a chipotle burrito with uhh everything on it. it was delicious.
Ate little hard candies throughout the day
Ate the additional hunk of french bread that Panera gives you when you order a salad
Finished my tomato mozzarella panini from Panera
Had some of my mom's broccoli cheddar soup
Ate a 3 Muskateers bar :D
Plus I didn't count all day. I'm happy.
Last night I dreams that I had a baguette, and had hollowed it out and filled it with peanut butter.....I'm even challenging ED in my dreams!
I bought some strawberry and cream lollies that I'm going to enjoy as my evening snack.
Plus I think I might even have gained some weight--have to weigh again tomorrow to see whether it was only fluid. Fingers crossed! I can't believe I actually want it to be real weight!
Today I'm having a Cinnamon Raisin Bagel with Peanut Butter and Jam. MAJOR FEAR FOOD. And cos its fresh from the bakery there's no calorific information so Im going to have no idea on the calories/fat content. EEK, if I manage it all Ill be so freaking happy =)
Also Ive been eating a lot of chocoalte lately.
You can't beat Lindt Coffee Intense <333
x
Today I had hot chips, and a caramel sundae from Maccas. Then, being the sweet tooth that I am, I had a caramel tart and a coffee for my afternoon tea. I'm a caramel junkie and that tart was so good that I think I might have to buy me another one this week.
I really like white chocolate, Dolly. I guess I'm just a big MilkyBar kid at heart. Of course, any chocolate is good, especially when you're actually eating it!
Best, Mel. ooo
Original Post by xfallingstar:
This is a great idea =p We can then find more comebacks to the ED by sharing our own!
Yesterday I put cheese on my subway! I've always had a huge fear about cheese and the last time I put cheese on my subway was when I was a little girl lol. When I bit into the sub, I could feel the ED complaining, screaming. But I just continued to eat it and said:
'It's so damn yummy. It's so damn good for me.' =)
Omigosh, xfallingstar, me too! You've beaten me though, because I haven't yet overcome this when ordering Subway. Next time, I'll have to tell ED where to go!
Top effort!
I binged on 7 chocolate bars after lunch today....
and 4 hours later, i felt hungry.... and didn't deny myself the hunger, so i just drank some mushroom soup, ate some pork, drank a glass of milk and ate non-fat-free cottage cheese today.
normally i restrict like crazy after a binge out of guilt, but no restriction here!!
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Yesterday I ate an insane amount of calories at a Jap buffet at lunch
and still came home and ate sweets several hrs later cause i was craving it
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A few days ago I bought a pack of part-skim shredded cheese...... NON fat-free.... (the fat content is like 26% of your DV per 1/3 cup!!! normally my eyeballs would be falling out at this) and normally I only eat fat free cheese.....
i finally used it today in my wrap for lunch. and a decent amount too.
and im still using those avocados every day....
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i now eat almost everything i want whenever i want..........
i think ive finally almost gotten over the fear of gaining weight!!
I'm starting to plan less for the foods I eat.... and just eat whenever I feel like it. And whatever I feel like (uhoh, this is kinda bad, cause half the time its unhealthy junk, but still, weight gain is key i suppose!)
ED, I think I'm one step ahead of you right now!!!
Yesterday I ate the biggest cookie I every saw in my life. It was one inch tall, and as big and round as my head, if not bigger. It was pumpkin pie spiced and it was SO good, and somewhere over 1000 calories just for one. XD
Today I had Subway for lunch with parmesan and oregano bread--ED and I didn't agree on the latter but cheesy goodness won the day. While I was on a roll, I had a muffin from Muffin Break for dessert. Then I had ice cream for my afternoon snack.
ED is on the run at present. Keep up the great work, everyone!
i ate this apple cake thing that i have no idea the calories, i had it at lunch and after dinner. , maybe 300 maybe 900, i have no idea because i did not make it but it was gooey and appley and i am not going to freak out, ok maybe a little, and guess what there are 3 pieces in the fridge but i wont binge on them, if i cannot stand it i will throw it out, not shove it down my throat
I completely binged last night right before going to bed.... and this morning, I still ate breakfast.
ah yes similar situation here- ate at midnight and ate breakfast like always. i also didnt freak out when i found out i ran out of my normal breakfast staples. i compromised and made something new, this might sound silly but i'm so ocd about having the same foods everyday.
also ate a veggieburger from the cafeteria which is also scary, and put honey mustard all over it.
:)
Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror, and ED said "You are much too fat to be anorexic. There is no way you are underweight. You must not eat, under any circumstances."
And I said "You are so wrong. I am underweight. I need to eat, to be strong and healthy."
And so I went and ate my full meal plan breakfast, and it was good.
Take that ED!
splenda - omg I did the exact same thing this morning.
Like the EXACT same thing.
Wow :')
xxxx
Woohoo, splenda_sweet and Maria!
You showed ED who's boss around here.
Mel. xox
Original Post by ngemma:
ah yes similar situation here- ate at midnight and ate breakfast like always. i also didnt freak out when i found out i ran out of my normal breakfast staples. i compromised and made something new, this might sound silly but i'm so ocd about having the same foods everyday.
also ate a veggieburger from the cafeteria which is also scary, and put honey mustard all over it.
:)
Hey ngemma, you're not odd at all. I also have a routine; I eat certain foods on certain days, but I've been breaking that trend of late.
And you know what? It's fantastic. I can't believe I was letting myself miss out on all those wonderful tastes out there. I mean, you only live once, and I'd rather experience everything I can, and that includes eating-wise.
Well done on your daring breakfast, and on the veggie burger. Sounds yummo.
Mel. xox
