How did you challenge your ED today?

Thought we could all post something... I used to always shout at my mum 'i AM trying! i'm EATING SOMETHING.' But i now realise that wasn't trying, that was just eating enough to lose weight. So i thought it might be nice for us all to post one or two things we did today to challenge ourselves in our road to recovery.

i shall go first :)

today i challenged my ED by increasing my AM snack by 100 calories, having a raw food bar instead of oat cakes and apple.

Original Post by emmabrody:

Sorry I haven't been here for a while, I've missed how motivational this thread is! Keep it up everyone you are inspiring.

I feel like I am finally moving on from anorexia at the moment, not completely of course but more than I ever have before.

I've been going to regular sleepovers.

I've eaten meals out.

I've drank alcohol at parties.

I have eaten things only estimating the calories

I have started to bake and eat what I make

I am not longer only eating ready meals

When cooking I can test the food and not include those calories

 

 good work emma xx

Glad to see this thread is still active! Sorry I haven't posted much. I haven't really had any ED breakthroughs lately. Things have been quite hard actually. :/ Nevermind that, great work everyone!! :)

sigen92 - Awwww don't think of it that way! It's still an achievement and that's all that matters! Nevermind how 'big' it is. I used to have a big problem with liquid calories as well, and I know it's not easy to overcome that fear! For that, I congratulate you!

Spent the day with my friends today...we went to blockbuster, rented a movie, and bought candy to eat while we watched it.  That's right, I sat still, and ate candy.  And when they started getting out stuff to make terryake rice for dinner, I didn't make an excuse to leave, but instead stayed and enjoyed it.

Yeah...it was fun to be normal :)

I feel like I am finally moving away from anorexia, and now that I am ridding myself of the illness I really find it difficult to believe that I had once thought of my eating disorder as a safety net, a coping device...how could it have been, when living a healthy, self-respecting life is so much more freeing? I've made a lot of breakthroughs in beating anorexia, perhaps they aren't huge compared to some of the other posters here, but they mean a lot to me.

• I given over the trust to my family and let them prepare good, homemade food for me without my having to know what is on the menu in advanced. Previously I was always on my family's back, strictly supervising all kitchen activities and screaming if certain ingredients were put in my meals. Now, I stay out of the kitchen a let my family prepare me whatever they deem fit. I find eating much more pleasurable when I don't have to think about the caloric content of the dish.
• I've challenged plenty of fear foods. Cheese, chocolate, mayonnaise, potatoes, cakes...and I am slowly introducing these back into my diet! I cannot believe I was ever so scared of such innocent produce, these foods taste absolutely delightful!
• I went to the supermarket with my dad and had each sample of food without worrying about the calories or obsessively checking packaging. We walked around the store collecting groceries, and for each little food stand we came across I made a pact with myself that I would try an item. I had shortbread cookies covered in cranberry dust, oatmeal biscuits, a cube of mustard cheese, a cube of salted caramel chocolate and a small slice of lemonseed poppy cake. And this supermarket visit happened to be in the evening; I had already had all my accounted calories for the day, so the samples were just delicious extras. 
• I've eaten out with my dad and my sister without going online and looking up nutritional statistics. And, I thoroughly enjoyed the meal, made conversation with my dad and sister, and cleared away any uncomfortable feelings I may have had before my recovery.

last night i ate dinner earlier than usual so i could go to the cinema with my friend, and today i ate lunch earlier to meet a friend for coffee and shopping. i'm so happy i came to university, i wouldn't have made any changes if i hadn't of challenged all my fears and wouldn't have ever started living really!

So happy for you teacastles and eediee, when you feel like you are living again it makes you realise how worthwhile recovery is.

Today my body image was awful and I had that horrible feeling where you can't bare to feel the food in your stomach cause it feels like it's sticking to you but I still ate everything on my plan.

Also, I had butter on crackers and instead of measuring out two tsps exactly I just spread it straight from the tub :)

hi i am new!! 

but i thought i would post this........ i ATE PASTA :).... i have been afaid of the stuff for 3 years!! was hard but i didd it!!!

Original Post by 123marie123:

hi i am new!! 

but i thought i would post this........ i ATE PASTA :).... i have been afaid of the stuff for 3 years!! was hard but i didd it!!!

 well done xxxx

Congrats! That's still something I have yet to overcome... Pasta is a major fear food of mine!

Went to my friend's house last night for a spur of the moment girls night.  Didn't count or even think about food, just enjoyed everything along with my friends.  I calculated a rough estimate this morning to see what my intake would have been, and it was around 2000, which isn't enough to gain, but made me realize that when I eventually DO switch to maintenance, my body'll know what to do without me having to control everythign :)

I finally had an appointment with a counselor from my school today.  He specializes in ED, and we've decided to meet on a regular basis.  I was super close to just...not going, but I went, and it was so worth it!

Original Post by flightotc:

I finally had an appointment with a counselor from my school today.  He specializes in ED, and we've decided to meet on a regular basis.  I was super close to just...not going, but I went, and it was so worth it!

 thats a big a step well done i hope you find it helpful x

for night snack i had an oatmeal cookie, and chocolate covered sunflower seeds! (and prunes ;)

so good! ed was screaming because of the sugar and just the idea of a normal sized real 'cookie' but it was soo good.

this is all so awesome to hear! sorry this post is going to be suuuuper long!

update: i haven't been on cc for a while because my parents started counting for me and doing all my food again when my weight plateaued for a while. unlike before when they did that, i just went along compliantly with whatever they did. like one of my snacks everyday was 2 cups of hagan daaz ice cream (i flavor i dislike), 2 cups of heavy cream, 1/2 cup of protein powder, and 1/2 cup of peanut butter blended into a milkshake (makes 2 very large glasses). in my early ed days i would have screamed bloody murder and never have touched it. in my later ed days i would not have had it either, asking for a giant ice cream sundae instead (if i had to have so much ice cream, calories, and fat, i would want it to be as enjoyable as possible, not a "waste" of calories). but i just drank the nasty thing everyday for a week along with so many other super dense foods all the time (until i gained a ton of weight and my nutritionist told them to STOP! lol!). i'm in a much better place now. i'm only 3 pounds away from my weight goal and instead of being scared of being so close ("i can't eat as much after i reach it!") i've decided to increase even more to get there faster! i would love to be there by thanksgiving, instead of listening to my ed telling me to restrict a little before so that i can eat more on thanksgiving. i plan on eating everything i want to anyway! in the last week i also conquered all of my last "fear foods"- not just the scary things like dense, fat, sugar, etc, but the really specific things i've had huge blocks against. i had a starbucks blueberry muffin on the way to school after having my normal breakfast, and not as my morning snack, either! i had the oreo mcflurry i've been so afraid of. i had a full stack of ihop blueberry pancakes twice in the last week. also tons of pizza and candy and stuff... yum!

for some weird reason, i've "binged" the last three nights. i haven't done that in months! i'll have eaten the right amount of calories with good balance all day, but then i'll have from 2000-5000 extra calories! (i'm guessing; i don't add it up to avoid guilt) it's so weird! but i don't feel bad about it in the morning at all, just really bloated. i don't try not to "binge" while it's happening, either, but rather pay close attention to the food i want to eat. last night i had four milkshakes, then about half a box of dry raisin bran, then a whole box of frosted mini wheats (i dipped the first half in peanut butter- so good! and had the second half with milk), then a fiber one bar and seven quaker chewy bars. i did not tell myself not to have the peanut butter because maybe i was craving fat, or to have something healthier than the chewy bars. if that's what i'm craving, that's what i'll have! instead of restricting today, i compensated by making sure i got plenty of protein and including one additional carb into every meal (maybe i ate the cereal because i lacked carbs?), and three small desserts instead of one medium one (for sugar). (btw i have a stomach like a teenage boy, so i can handle this.) i'll see my nutritionist tomorrow, but for the time being it's a new method of dealing with binging (being attentive rather than feeling guilty/trying not to). 

so take that, ed! :)

BLUEBERRY-im sorry for that hard time but it sounds like u were able to turn it into a great positive, really kicking those fears and learning and building.  ur really doing great!

ive had days like that too, eating "enough" yet still eating even more, can i ask, is ur goal weight that ur near a bmi of 18.5 or 20? it could be that ur bosy wants more?

Ive made the switch from 1% milk to full fat goat's milk!  I find it much easier to digest.....it takes a bit of getting used to ..but i rather like it now.  Its so rich though i can only handle 1/2 cup at a time.  I also had a really great pumpkin tart topped with a maple syrup meringue that was just delish.   Trying to find new ways to challenge myself all the time!  I can't get into IP...there's too long a wait list...so i've got to do this on my own. 

blueberry sorry you are having a hard time, ive missed your posts , hope you are managing to battle through

well done vicgirl i know it hard eating fuller fat verions ive recently switched to full fat yogurt and pudding , i have to say they taste so much better and are more satisfying . im sorry about the ip , but im glad you are determined to do it at home you can do it girl

i finially ate my meals at normal times i put lunch back to 1 from 3 and tea at 6 rather than i 8 i tend to hold off eating for as long as i can but i know its something i must challenge x

how did I challenge my ED today?

I ate breakfast. I had that second cup of coffee with milk. Then I saw my girls get their photos taken through my eldest's preschool. HOLY CRAP were they ADORABLE. How did I challenge it? I realized that life is beautiful no matter what I weigh. I am so blessed. Then, I bought myself some cherry meltaways and some lean lunch meat for protein, I kissed my youngest because my oldest was back in preschool, and I smiled.

Because my ED can't touch me when I'm in my family zone. HA!

Original Post by bsh0611:

how did I challenge my ED today?

I ate breakfast. I had that second cup of coffee with milk. Then I saw my girls get their photos taken through my eldest's preschool. HOLY CRAP were they ADORABLE. How did I challenge it? I realized that life is beautiful no matter what I weigh. I am so blessed. Then, I bought myself some cherry meltaways and some lean lunch meat for protein, I kissed my youngest because my oldest was back in preschool, and I smiled.

Because my ED can't touch me when I'm in my family zone. HA!

 that is so great to hear :) made me smile.

Original Post by tessa1223:

blueberry sorry you are having a hard time, ive missed your posts , hope you are managing to battle through

well done vicgirl i know it hard eating fuller fat verions ive recently switched to full fat yogurt and pudding , i have to say they taste so much better and are more satisfying . im sorry about the ip , but im glad you are determined to do it at home you can do it girl

i finially ate my meals at normal times i put lunch back to 1 from 3 and tea at 6 rather than i 8 i tend to hold off eating for as long as i can but i know its something i must challenge x

Hear Hear! for normal eating times and full fat dairy. Skim milk goodbye forever lol!!!x