How did you challenge your ED today?

Thought we could all post something... I used to always shout at my mum 'i AM trying! i'm EATING SOMETHING.' But i now realise that wasn't trying, that was just eating enough to lose weight. So i thought it might be nice for us all to post one or two things we did today to challenge ourselves in our road to recovery.

i shall go first :)

today i challenged my ED by increasing my AM snack by 100 calories, having a raw food bar instead of oat cakes and apple.

Today, I ate an entire thing of KING-SIZED onion rings from Burger King!! I LOVED them, and I didn't feel guilty at all! I haven't had anything deep-fried in a lonngg time..

This sounds so lame but today i drank some juice out of the container..A FULL SWIG! And didn't count it as anything.

I wanna have a Bueno Bar sometime this week... and FINALLY get the courage to drink that Coke Zero that's been sitting in the fridge(literally with my name on it.)

Oh Sophi i've been craving deep fried things.. weird how i only want the things that are naturally unhealthy anyway huh?

Mel - BAKERS DELIGHT SCONES!! THE CHEESE AND CHIVE ONES! I woosed out and made my own... but Screw that.. i'm gonna get me one.
And i've always wanted to try the White chocolate blueberry one!

Gibbit - i cried my eyes out when i found this site. THE SAME DAY MY NUTRITIONIST/PSYCHE TOLD ME THEY CAN'T SEE ME FOR THREE WEEKS.. and you know what? I've been eating things i NEVER would have. At times out of normal.. my ocd seems to have cracked a bit.. and i KNOW it's all because of you guys.. i've never felt so supported. i've told my mum about it.. she is just thrilled to see me smiling when i eat.

X

Today I didn't exercise despite ED's evil taunts about not having done so in ages. 

Also I think I've gained half a kilo/one pound (I'll check again tomorrow).  That's one small gain for Melynda and one giant leap for health and happiness.

Terrible paraphrasing, I know 

Original Post by ladydanger_:

This sounds so lame but today i drank some juice out of the container..A FULL SWIG! And didn't count it as anything.

I wanna have a Bueno Bar sometime this week... and FINALLY get the courage to drink that Coke Zero that's been sitting in the fridge(literally with my name on it.)

Oh Sophi i've been craving deep fried things.. weird how i only want the things that are naturally unhealthy anyway huh?

Mel - BAKERS DELIGHT SCONES!! THE CHEESE AND CHIVE ONES! I woosed out and made my own... but Screw that.. i'm gonna get me one.
And i've always wanted to try the White chocolate blueberry one!

Gibbit - i cried my eyes out when i found this site. THE SAME DAY MY NUTRITIONIST/PSYCHE TOLD ME THEY CAN'T SEE ME FOR THREE WEEKS.. and you know what? I've been eating things i NEVER would have. At times out of normal.. my ocd seems to have cracked a bit.. and i KNOW it's all because of you guys.. i've never felt so supported. i've told my mum about it.. she is just thrilled to see me smiling when i eat.

X

 Lauren, get yourself those scones.  ED might regret it, but YOU won't! 

I've been craving fried stuff too, or namely hot chips.  I had a large serving from Oporto the other day.  Amazing stuff.  I was looking around at other people shovelling in hot chips, and thinking how none of them realise what an incredible thing the humble hot chip is.  I hadn't eaten them in so long and they were so good.

Oh you're online now!

I'm waiting to have my snack. See.. i don't have a job. So i barely do anything. Apart from completely disolve myself in Domesticated work. Vaccum, cleaning.. whatever.. But i NEVER know if i'm HUNGRY.. or BORED.....

AGHHH.

Oh they're perfect with butter.. i may just have to.
I MISS OPORTO!! When all this started i was flying back anf forth from Sydney all the time and Oporto wasa life saver.. Oh.. and all the CURRY PLACES IN NEWTOWN/SYDNEY!!!

X

I'd never had Oporto until the other day.  Their chips are so good. 

I am also looking for fulltime work right now, and will be returning to study once I've recovered enough--the story's on my profile, so I won't repeat myself. 

I do work part time, but I also get bored.  As for whether you're hungry, it's hard to tell when you're in recovery.  EDs mess up your hunger cues, so you just have to stick to your calorie intake, and meals.

I'm eating 3500 cals at the moment, and don't feel hungry, but I just have to eat.  It's the only way to get to a point where your body will be healthy enough to get your mind back to thinking better, and to allow your mind to focus on dealing with the psychological side of your ED, instead of concentrating on food because you're starving. 

I'm not saying I don't have moments where I struggle and don't want to eat.  But you just have to fight ED off.  I know you can do this.  You're doing an incredible job already, and should be proud of how far you've come in a short time.  Keep it up!

Mel. xox

Today i woke up to a kick in the bootie and made the decision to just not exercise. At. All.

As been told, warned my heartrate is down to 34 and i can't afford to lose another ounce. So EFF YOU ED YOU'RE BETTER THAN DEAD.

For today anyway. And i cooked a seperate meal for me tonight, because i don't eat white rice. However, mine looks crap compared to theirs.. so i may just have to have half half.

Mel can you PM me? Im wondering over portion sizes so i don't underestimate.. or Ed doens't underestimate

X

Today I had raspberry and white chocolate cookies for my afternoon snack.  They were scrum-diddley-umptious! 

On the bus, I was talking to a woman who asked me what I'd bought from Brumbys (Aussie bakery chain)--it was a caramel tart for my dessert.   She said she loved their products but was trying to lose weight.  She said I was lucky to be thin.  I replied that I was trying to gain weight because I was underweight and unhealthy.  She gave me a look as though I'd turned into a two-headed giraffe, and said, "Being underweight is not a problem; it's a gift."  I was quick to list all the problems being underweight can cause, and somehow managed to stop myself telling her that no one would want anorexia in a box with pretty wrapping paper.  

And ED's in for a horrible weekend, because I'm in for the opposite!  My parents are visiting, and I'll be eating up a storm, and enjoying myself!

Keep challenging the bugger, everyone!

Chyeah! mel, you go, girl!

Haha, I'm feeling really "go team-y" right now.

When people say things to me like that lady did to you on the bus, I always stutter and giggle and turn red, but internally, I'm just smoldering, and a little crushed. So good for you, setting her straight.

As for how I challenged my ED today, I have one word: THANKSGIVING.

And I rocked it!

yeah splenda!!! me too!!

woohoo for thanksgiving!!! do you every feel like everyone else must be kind of anorexic too? or just not eat nearly enough? both of my friends were starving by dinner time because htey hadnt eaten ANYTHING all day since we'd be having a big dinner....wtf?? I admit I stupidly restricted during the day today, but that just means i made lower cal options and skipped my afternoon snack since i left my house too early anyways. But that meant I had like 2000 cals to make up for, so on top of everyone else having fasted to prepare, i still ate more than them.

So yes, that was my success, eating more than eveyrone else at thanksgiving, trying a little of everything there, eating 3 differnt kinds of dessert! and going back for seconds of pumpkin pie. And OMG my stomach hurts, and i still came home and had a giant bowl of ice cream with about 1/2 cup of almonds, cranberry sauce and lots of granola because i'm still trying to up the cals.

Thanksgiving for me too~! We had HUMUNGOUS dinner plates, and every single person topped it over full, including me! I ate SOOOO much, and even afterwards, with me stuffed to the rim, I ate pumpkin pie! It was so much fun, and I actually felt like I was a part of the family again :)

Today is the first day that I have felt determined to not feel guilty and not let ED take over... I haven't stuck to my food plan this whole week..

It started badly... with tears after I had peanut butter toast. But after that I kicked ED in the head and ate sushi with my Mum and an apple and have had no bad feelings since.

That may sound so insignificant

but its a big step for me.

Now onto afternoon snack and dinner!

Original Post by splenda_sweet:

Chyeah! mel, you go, girl!

Haha, I'm feeling really "go team-y" right now.

When people say things to me like that lady did to you on the bus, I always stutter and giggle and turn red, but internally, I'm just smoldering, and a little crushed. So good for you, setting her straight.

As for how I challenged my ED today, I have one word: THANKSGIVING.

 

 

And I rocked it!

 

 We don't have Thanksgiving in Oz, but with my parents up the last couple of days, I have eaten heaps, and faced some fear foods. 

So proud of you, and very glad to hear that you're getting purging out of your life!

Mel. xox

ED's been on the run this weekend just gone!

I had potato bake; it had cream in it and heaps of cheese!  I also had an ice cream sundae with heaps of caramel topping.  And to top it off, I have no idea how many cals I ate on Saturday, only I made sure I reached my 3500 cals and just enjoyed whatever extra food I had. 

My parents and I went and saw the new James Bond film on Friday.  I don't like popcorn, but was craving shortbread.  Can I just say Walkers Shortbread.  Oh. My. Goodness.  Getting to chow down on my favourite type of biscuit while watching Daniel Craig strutt his stuff--good times indeed.   

Wow, ED is just getting a repeated beating in my life.  :)  It feels so good to know that I am winning!

There's nothing monumental or specific, just general butt-kicking on my part!  Yesterday I ate a Chipotle burrito—quite possibly the fear food of my life—stuffed with cheese, rice, beans, chicken, and salsa, and I finished the whole thing.  I don't think I need to say anything else to emphasize how big of a deal that was.    For those of you who don't know, Chipotle burritos are huge and are, the way I see it, known in the "dieting" community for being extremely high-calorie.  Need I say more?  The whole thing, and I feel great!

Wow I ate like a pig today :']

Went for a nice walk, and they had an old fashioned sweet shop, so I ate about 100 grams of coconut mushrooms. And I've no idea on the calorie content but I think they're supposed to be about 30-40 cals each, and I ate like 20 at least!

And I had loads of G&B's chocolate. Butterscotch is REALLY nice btw.

Gutted Asda didn't have the white choc pb though :(
And I'm so proud of you okie you're doing awesome!

Dolly, that all sounds so yum!  I have a sweet tooth to be reckoned with. 

I had some strawberry and cream lollies today--still have some left, so the night snack is looking sweet indeed.

Oh, what's that, ED?  You don't like lollies?  Well, tough bikkies, and speaking of biscuits, it's the season for shortbread, my fave type of biscuit, so you're going to be seeing a lot more bikkies!  So there.

Mel you're so damn cute i just wanna keep you in a little cage at the end of my bed. With a box of Shortbread for midnight nibblings.

HOMEMADE SHORTBREAD! I couldn't eat anyother:[

Yesterday i drank Tomato Juice with my lunch.. low as hell in cals and carbs but i felt so proud.. i am still hell edgy about drinking calories.

Lately i thought '**** is this a relapse' but then i drive harder into the ground. And eat something.

X

Hahahha.  I'm sure there'd be a lot of people who'd like to see me in a cage!

Throw Daniel Craig in the cage as well, and it's a done deal. ;-) 

Funny, but I haven't really thought of men like that in a while--ED plays havoc with the old libido.  I must be getting better.  Look out world!

Well done on the tomato juice.  Know what you mean about drinking cals.  I'm working my way up to drinking a thickshake, and looking forward to it!

I THOUGHT IT WAS ONLY ME!
ED stole my love-love part of the brain!!!!

GIVE ME FOOD - GIVE ME WINE - GIVE ME MY DAMN LIBIDO!!

XXX