Just Chatting

I got up at 5 am today! I have had breakfast, applied for 3 jobs and it's barely daylight.  Usually, I like to sleep.  So, now I am having coffee, checking out the posts and wondering what to do next.  If it was actually nice outside, I'd go for a bike ride.  I will fit in a brisk walk sometime today.  Oohh, I could go get a haircut.  Anyway, I didn't notice a general sort of chatty thread so I thought I would start one.  It's always nice to have some where to post when you drop by and just want to say hello. 

If I wasn't job hunting, I'd let my hair grow out gray.  Does that make me guilty of false advertising? Oh, well, if you're lucky, you get old.

~k

Hi katonick!

The last time I did a job search I left my hair white (been that way since my mid-30's) but I did grow it out longer to cover my hearing aids!

Not long ago I looked about to see if I could improve my situation and decided that if they didn't like me old, with short white hair and exposed hard o' hearingness then I did not want them (I'm not the main earner so I can do that).

I had marvelous communication with a variety of great jobs and went to several final interviews. Either I suck eggs at interviewing or I surprised them with my appeance! The positions were always given to someone else.

If you need to earn, then I'd keep it colored until you land a spot. Once you are passed any probationary period, then show them that the incredibly competent and energetic young person is really an old lady that is incredibly competent and energetic.

Good luck!

I couldn't agree more Jannid!!  Altho I do the hiring at my job, pending approval from my boss, and I would NEVER turn down an older person based on age!  In fact, I was looking for an older person to work here in the office with me, but couldn't find one!

I agree tho, with the keep it dyed thing...Not all employers are our age...and even most of the ones that are have no sympathy for older employees when they look at the wage requirements, and the "short term" that they have before retirement...

as if the young people are going to stick to one job like an older person will! Yeah right. So many older people today will never be able to retire and will be fortunate if they can simply cut hours to a very desirable 35 hours. the short term thing is just an visibly acceptable excuse. Not that I am opinionated on the topic or anything.

Original Post by jannid:

as if the young people are going to stick to one job like an older person will! Yeah right. So many older people today will never be able to retire and will be fortunate if they can simply cut hours to a very desirable 35 hours. the short term thing is just an visibly acceptable excuse. Not that I am opinionated on the topic or anything.

 

Ah!  Trust me when I say I agree wholeheartedly!  Not only that, but young people have no concept of committment!  The one that works for me now throws temper tantrums if she can't have every day off that she requests, calls in sick when she's not, often on my days off so that I have to cover for her...

I'm still looking for that older person to work for me!

hopefully katonick lives hear you.....I hear she's great!

Aww thanks ladies!  Reading your posts made me smile.  One of the benefits of maturity is a thicker skin, and though those interviews are hard on the self esteem I still feel like they'd be smart to hire me.  I am glad it is the weekend though. It's nice to take a break from the resume blitz.  I "laid" in this am and read a book.

Have a loverly weekend!

~k

where'd you go to get this thicker skin? Mine seemed to get thinner!

I think I have to admit to being "thinner skinned" as I accumulate age.  I never have just let things "roll off my back".  I don't hide and cry my eyes out anymore, but I'm definately more likely to rip someone's head off if I feel offended!

I remember when I was younger, meeting older women that I thought were kind of snarky old gals...said what they thought....and weren't terribly worried about whether or not they were liked.  I think I'm turning into one of them!

that's ok, only we're a bit young for that. According to my maternal grandmother, once you hit 80 you are allowed to say whatever you want! My Mom turned that to 70, I am already practicing for when I am 60.

morning ladies...

i got a chuckle about the saying what we think thing...when i turned fifty i seemed to have gone up a notch or 5 in the 'i dont give a flying f---' school of philosophy.

i have never been one to stay very silent, but silent has given over to not staying quiet about anything. it has almost gotten me beaten up on a subway...but still -

as for the hair dye - do what makes u comfy. it may mean working for yourself!

i know, i know - not always realistic...but i also feel authenticity and comfort in oneself is awfully attractive - even to young dopes doing hiring.

it makes me laugh, because i am also on several online dating sites...everyone either lies about their age or swears by their youthfulness. i could care less about dating a youth! bragging about being young is such a turn off to me - i already have a ton of young guys with older woman fantasies contacting me - and who wants another child around, my sons are all grown!?

who says being young was so terrific anyway?

i say make your way in your world on your own terms and see what happens - no matter what color your hair is!

(see what i was talking about with the opinions?!)

I started going grey in my late 20's, so have colored my hair for quite a while now.  I used to say I would let it go grey when I turned 50 (almost two years ago) but now I'm saying, "Well, maybe when I turn 60..."  I really like the look of some totally grey and/or white-haired women I see.

"who says being young was so terrific anyway?"  I hear ya, sista!  I am totally satisfied, proud even, of being the age I am.  I have never been more content with myself.  Now if only my periods would decide to come or go, this unpredictability is driving me crazy! 

For me right now - I didn't feel attractive for much of my life, only now am I looking in the mirror and liking what I see, which is delightful!  I'm prone to feeling frumpy, with or without good cause, and my hair color is one of the things I love about myself.  (I'm also growing it out for the first time in years, which is another fun experience).

So I agree, akcount, "do what makes u comfy."  I guess that includes those who indulge in cosmetic surgery, eh? 

But I don't know, I have to say I can see one virtue a young man would have over a son - S.E.X.  Not that they are all that good at it, but sometimes I see a fine youthful body at the gym and think, "Oh, I would just want to touch it a bit." Just one afternoon.  They'd probably have to promise not to talk, however, that would be a buzz-killer.

S'pose that'show middle-aged men feel about younger women?  Confessing to objectifying young men, does that throw me out of the feminist club as a hypocrite?

But yeah, if you're looking for a relationship, or even for quality sex, then a mature man is definitely the way to go.  I adore my husband (he's 58).

ROTFLMAO!  ^5!!

You sound so much like me!  Well...except for the younger man thing...some of those puppies are pretty hot...and...well....I have to admit that ten years ago, I married a man that is 11 years younger than I am....

When I met him, I tried to run him off.  I honestly did.  Worked at it a whole...10 minutes, maybe?    Then decided what the he!!...best decision I ever made in my life!  He treats me like I'm pure gold, definately the queen bee, but gives me a run for my money every so often just to keep things lively and interesting!  Don't discount those younger fellas... not completely anyway! 

Original Post by mad4moon:

S'pose that'show middle-aged men feel about younger women?  Confessing to objectifying young men, does that throw me out of the feminist club as a hypocrite?

 

 Absolutely NOT!  All things being equal, we get to ogle men as they do women!

Besides, we're only enjoying the scenery...we're married, not dead, just window shopping without buying.....all those things we've heard from men all our lives!

charleet -

no - u are in the club. its about inclusion and discussion, questioning, and evaluating what is ok by each of us, nothing wrong with appreciating beauty!

i do so with men and women - in nyc we get to look a whole lot of the time and it is daily sport.

there is a difference though between admiration and  ...older men seeing younger women for their beauty and WHAT they are, not for WHO they are - i am not talking about in the street - i am talking about in a relationship. men online look for women they could well adopt!

they also get to call the shots and pretty much are a cliche' - younger woman keeping death from their door...the old death thing once again.

i once read a great quote from bell hooks - 'love does not exist in any environment of domination'.

i like older men because most know a woman's from many years of experience and the pleasure part is not reliant on good abs...i also like and am very turned on by some grey chest hair and wrinkles and a man who knows his way around my terrain!

(should we start calling this "sex and the 50 somethings'?)

I've always prefered men over boys.   Sometimes that had little to do with age.  Boys, even when I was a girl, just seem green and not done yet.

I'm 55 years old,female,married, and new to Calorie Counter, but I think I'll really like it.  I've lost a little weight already, and I like the resources including the social ones.  I am fortunate to be working, but like everyone else, I worry about losing work. That's a reason I would like to lose weight, as well as keeping my health. I am losing a few hours, but so far, no layoff.  I want to continue working, and will need to continue working, so I want to develop some independent means of earning money.

I am also interested in forming a worker-owned cooperative with others who have concerns for how we continue to work, contribute, create and produce in an environment that doesn't see us as equal resources with younger individuals. The current economy, plus the investment losses some have gone through, should have us all thinking outside our boxes of 5 or ten years ago.

I live in the Oakland area, and welcome meeting any ladies who might be interested in some social walking in Park Presidio or Golden Gate Park.

By the way, my hair is graying, and doesn't cover well with dye.  If I have to start looking for a job, maybe I'll try dying it, but I don't think it will fool anyone.