circumcision

How do you feel about circumcision? The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) says the benefits of circumcision are not significant enough to recommend circumcision as a routine procedure and that circumcision is not medically necessary.  Still, most boys in the US are circumcised.  In theory, I think leaving things intact is the best way to go.  However, we are having a baby boy, and when I think about him possibly being teased or feeling embarassed with a girl because he's not like his peers, I cringe.  Are attitudes changing in the US?  What would you do for your son?

If most boys in the states are circumsised then whats the problem about being teased, most girls will already know that.

I am circumsised and have never once been teased about it, I think the appearance is better and all the girls I have been with like the look, and most prefer it.

alternatively, you can let your son decide himself when he gets older if he wants to be circumsised.

I was done because of medical reasons, I would hate to have had the choice taken away from me of what is an unreversable operation that disfigures (I use that word because circumcision isn't natural, even though i like the look better) the MOST important part of a mans body.

Like I say when your child has no voice you make the decisions for him, but he will grow and become independant and if you take something away from him that could create psychological effects on him, he may resent you for that for the rest of his life.

My advice ... leave him intact ... its his choice not yours, and its a choice he will make if and when he sees fit.

I am American and my husband is Italian and not circumcised.  I didn't find it weird at all...but then, I am also quite open-minded.  In any case, I think kev100 is right...just leave him intact and if he wants to do it later, he can.  At least this way he has the choice.

All other issues aside I prefer intact.

i didnt circumsize my son. i dont think it matters from a social /dating perspective. he never had any problems with the girls.

I was circumcized because at the time it was the popular thing to do for cleanliness I guess or appearance. Now I only have one problem and its kinda big. I went to see a urologist because it happened that when having relations, preservatives ruined all the sensation for me. To which the doctor later mentioned that is was common on many circumcized people seeing as the.... um... "tip" is always free to enjoy the pleasures of life and thus it is used to friction... simply caused by your underwear, jeans, etc. So at the time of protecting oneself you basically remove the pleasure it enjoyed even when not having relations and you quickly end up suffocating it. To which point we always had to end up relying on her contraceptives. (and no.. no matter how ultra sensetive or ribbed they may be, one needs to be free).

I am for leaving it intact as well and letting him decide what he wants to do later even though my experience has only been circumcised guys. Just feels right to leave it alone.

Original Post by bombacho:

I was circumcized because at the time it was the popular thing to do for cleanliness I guess or appearance. Now I only have one problem and its kinda big. I went to see a urologist because it happened that when having relations, preservatives ruined all the sensation for me. To which the doctor later mentioned that is was common on many circumcized people seeing as the.... um... "tip" is always free to enjoy the pleasures of life and thus it is used to friction... simply caused by your underwear, jeans, etc. So at the time of protecting oneself you basically remove the pleasure it enjoyed even when not having relations and you quickly end up suffocating it. To which point we always had to end up relying on her contraceptives. (and no.. no matter how ultra sensetive or ribbed they may be, one needs to be free).

I understand where you are coming from, using a condom for me now is not an option because I loose most feelings, so as with you contraception has to be left to the girl, of course also this has other health issues as far as STD go, I have checks every 6 months and to date have always been free from STD, but that may not always be the case.

As far as long term health and sexual enjoyment goes he needs to be intact.

Of course I cant comment on the feeling of an intact "member",

Original Post by amandief:

I am for leaving it intact as well and letting him decide what he wants to do later even though my experience has only been circumcised guys. Just feels right to leave it alone.

*blinks*

*rereads*

*blinks again*

You know that the circumcision procedure which is a relatively minor surgical procedure for a newborn would become a messy invasive surgery for a child or a teen, right?

I can't begin to wrap my brain around "letting him wait to decide what he wants" on this front.

Circumcision is a very personal decision, a matter of personal preference all around. It's not strictly medically necessary, but clearly at a newborn age, it isn't really dangerous eithers.

I know of two reasons why a man may want his child to be circumcised: the first is religious. I was circumcised because I'm Jewish. My child may be the same. The other is that dad wants his little boy to resemble himself in that one particular way.

Either way.. I'm not sure why it matters or why we should hope that Americans views change on this.

Original Post by hkellick:

I know of two reasons why a man may want his child to be circumcised: the first is religious. I was circumcised because I'm Jewish. My child may be the same. The other is that dad wants his little boy to resemble himself in that one particular way.

Either way.. I'm not sure why it matters or why we should hope that Americans views change on this.

I dont think that there is any reason (except medical) why circumcision should be forced upon a new born baby who has NO say in what is happening to his body

I do not understand why religion always has to come into arguments as a reason, I am not religious and have my own personal views on religion, especially when it inflicts personal injury onto a defenceless person, whether that is a baby, an adult, a woman being stoned to death because she has been raped etc ...  religion is an excuse used by too many to justify  what many would see as barbaric actions, i personally think taking away part of somebody's body without their knowledge (as with a newborn) or against their will a great offence of personal liberty and justice and human rights.

I know of several guys who have had circumcision in their teens and early twenties, on was for medical and the 2 others was for personal choice and of course there are risks, there are also risks when you are a baby or a child, risk of infection being the main risk, but this point is not the issue here, the point is to give the child the choice when they are older if they choose to do it when they want to do it, by being given the information of pro's and con's and risk it is THEIR choice.

I also find it quite absurd that most people in the world think that female circumcision and mutilation (mostly in the name of religion or because its the thing to do and has been throughout the ages in the cultures of the offenders) is terrifying and barbaric (which it is) but male circumcision and mutillation is fine.

Does anybody in these situations ever think of the individual and the way that this operation may effect that individual both emotionally and physically in the future, or are they just thinking of their own personal views and needs at that time.

I also think it quite strange and twisted that a father would want to harm and mutilate his son so that he resembles him ... that's just weird.

Get real .. we live in the 21st century where human rights are supposed to be paramount in a civilised world.

p.s. I know I am going to get flamed for this post ...

but see hk, i couldnt stand the thought of that "relatively minor surgical procedure". i couldnt bear the thought of doing that to my boy, but im not jewish so i thinks its a whole different deal, because it is a decision.

i remember having this discussion with my midwife. my thought process was very much in line with huggitbears...22 years ago. i get what amandief is saying too - i thiink its a mama bear instinct thing to think that way - a not by my hand kind of thing.

kev, well it IS a personal decision, and in hk's defense, it is part of his religion. are you seriously attacking the jewish faith or merely circumcision as a human rights violation?

i am assuming the latter... human rights watch is a wonderful watchdog group, i know they focus on the female issue quite a bit. wow, i never even considered circumcision to be a reverse discrimination issue, but i guess it is huh?

Personally I wouldn`t make any non-health based decisions for my children. Besides, would you really want your son to waste time on women who are so shallow that a little bit of extra skin makes such a huge difference to them?

Just personally, from a female point of view - I like the feel of circumcised better.  As for health, I believe that circumcised is easier to keep clean...but I'm not male so that's only MO.  My best friend's husband is not C - she has no complaints.

Original Post by watergirl:

kev, well it IS a personal decision, and in hk's defense, it is part of his religion. are you seriously attacking the jewish faith or merely circumcision as a human rights violation?

Hi watergirl

I wouldn't attack any religion because as long as its not forced on somebody then its that individuals right to follow that religion, and as long as that religion doesn't cause harm to others in the name of that religion,

I do have a problem when religion is used as an excuse for certain acts, I have strong views on circumcision because I have had it done, and mine was for a real medical issue, how I would feel if it was done for religious reasons or because my parents wanted it done for me I dont know how I would be feeling, but I would definitely resent the fact that I had no choice in it.

Circumcision without the consent (or knowledge) of the individual, unless needed for a medical reason, no mater what the circumstances is definitely a human rights issue (as female circumcision is seen around the developed world).

I would actually be interested to hear the reasons why on religious grounds there is a need to perform circumcision, what are the beliefs, the reasoning the reason, why it needs to be done and the origin of the reason why it should be done, its something I have never looked into but would be very interested to know.

Original Post by watergirl:

but see hk, i couldnt stand the thought of that "relatively minor surgical procedure". i couldnt bear the thought of doing that to my boy, but im not jewish so i thinks its a whole different deal, because it is a decision.

I respect your beliefs and I have no quarrel with those that don't see any point having a circumcision.

My point, as such, is simply that it's a personal choice and I'm not sure it's something that the nation as a whole should need to get worked up over or have their attitudes changed about.

It is a very different deal being born Jewish, however. Circumcision is simply.. a reality. To choose not to circumcise is an act against your faith.

kev, what time is it there? its 6 am here. blink blink

thats alot to take on at 6 am... seriously though, check that link above. if anybody is trying to change things politically re: at least female circumcision it would be human rights watch. might be a good place to start your research. it obviously a passionate subject for you, as is human rights for me, esp women and children. check it out! they do great works.

Original Post by hkellick:

It is a very different deal being born Jewish, however. Circumcision is simply.. a reality. To choose not to circumcise is an act against your faith.

 exactly.

Original Post by hkellick:

Original Post by watergirl:

but see hk, i couldnt stand the thought of that "relatively minor surgical procedure". i couldnt bear the thought of doing that to my boy, but im not jewish so i thinks its a whole different deal, because it is a decision.

I respect your beliefs and I have no quarrel with those that don't see any point having a circumcision.

My point, as such, is simply that it's a personal choice and I'm not sure it's something that the nation as a whole should need to get worked up over or have their attitudes changed about.

It is a very different deal being born Jewish, however. Circumcision is simply.. a reality. To choose not to circumcise is an act against your faith.

I think the nation should change its attitude.  I think it should change its attitude to be more like yours--that it is a personal choice and nothing to tease about.  Unfortunately, I don't believe most people think/behave that way.  People can be cruel.  To have someone tease you about your "dirty" intact body and to make you feel ashamed about your body-- now that is something I don't wish for anyone.  Even if people don't REALLY believe the nasty things they say, things are still said, and when it is something you may be insecure about to begin with it really hurts.  I have heard this firsthand, and that is what I am afraid of for my boy.

Original Post by huggitbear:

Original Post by hkellick:

Original Post by watergirl:

but see hk, i couldnt stand the thought of that "relatively minor surgical procedure". i couldnt bear the thought of doing that to my boy, but im not jewish so i thinks its a whole different deal, because it is a decision.

I respect your beliefs and I have no quarrel with those that don't see any point having a circumcision.

My point, as such, is simply that it's a personal choice and I'm not sure it's something that the nation as a whole should need to get worked up over or have their attitudes changed about.

It is a very different deal being born Jewish, however. Circumcision is simply.. a reality. To choose not to circumcise is an act against your faith.

I think the nation should change its attitude.  I think it should change its attitude to be more like yours--that it is a personal choice and nothing to tease about.  Unfortunately, I don't believe most people think/behave that way.  People can be cruel.  To have someone tease you about your "dirty" intact body and to make you feel ashamed about your body-- now that is something I don't wish for anyone.  Even if people don't REALLY believe the nasty things they say, things are still said, and when it is something you may be insecure about to begin with it really hurts.  I have heard this firsthand, and that is what I am afraid of for my boy.

I'm afraid that's people for you.

I wish it weren't. I wish people were generally nicer to each other, but.. let's be honest... I don't think there's a single person on this website who hasn't had to deal with a nasty crack about their weight, or other things. My point? People are cruel.

I don't think you should decide whether to circumcise your boy on whether or not he will get teased. He will. If it isn't for that, it'll be for something else.. his nose, his hair, his name.. or worse.

What do you want for him? What does the father of the kid want for him? I think that's all that should matter.

Huggitbear,

You may want to read this article (although it has Jewish references I didn't post the link for religious reasons), I did post it because it has a huge amount of information on the effects circumcision has on a baby and an individual.

I think that all doubt as to whether to circumcise or not will diminish and you will leave your little boy intact :)

http://jewishcircumcision.org/spectator.htm

Original Post by hkellick:

Original Post by huggitbear:

Original Post by hkellick:

Original Post by watergirl:

but see hk, i couldnt stand the thought of that "relatively minor surgical procedure". i couldnt bear the thought of doing that to my boy, but im not jewish so i thinks its a whole different deal, because it is a decision.

I respect your beliefs and I have no quarrel with those that don't see any point having a circumcision.

My point, as such, is simply that it's a personal choice and I'm not sure it's something that the nation as a whole should need to get worked up over or have their attitudes changed about.

It is a very different deal being born Jewish, however. Circumcision is simply.. a reality. To choose not to circumcise is an act against your faith.

I think the nation should change its attitude.  I think it should change its attitude to be more like yours--that it is a personal choice and nothing to tease about.  Unfortunately, I don't believe most people think/behave that way.  People can be cruel.  To have someone tease you about your "dirty" intact body and to make you feel ashamed about your body-- now that is something I don't wish for anyone.  Even if people don't REALLY believe the nasty things they say, things are still said, and when it is something you may be insecure about to begin with it really hurts.  I have heard this firsthand, and that is what I am afraid of for my boy.

I'm afraid that's people for you.

I wish it weren't. I wish people were generally nicer to each other, but.. let's be honest... I don't think there's a single person on this website who hasn't had to deal with a nasty crack about their weight, or other things. My point? People are cruel.

I don't think you should decide whether to circumcise your boy on whether or not he will get teased. He will. If it isn't for that, it'll be for something else.. his nose, his hair, his name.. or worse.

What do you want for him? What does the father of the kid want for him? I think that's all that should matter.

What about what the child wants, and what he wants when he will be a young man ?.... or doesnt that matter ? nose, hair or whatever is how you are born, mutilating a child is a choice that YOU make ....