Comment/Insult that has hurt you the most

What comment or insult hit you the hardest, and who said it?

Nothing happened lately that influenced this question, just curious. :P

Mine was "Hey fat chick, come and and finish this cake".  -said by a none-too-skinny boy in my art class.  Sent me home in tears.
Another one was by the student theatre director when I auditioned for the spring musical "Cinderella" - "Ww, you really have gal coming up here to audtion for a role like Cinderella, a role that so obviously only an attractive person can play."  That one hurt a lot.

"I added Ellen to the invitation list as I know she would feel left out if she weren't invited, and told her the date, the time, and everything I know so she'll have plenty of notice."

Uh, lady, Aunt Ellen is not invited to my wedding ceremony.  It's not even that horrible, it was just one of those shocking blows to the gut.  It's still festering in my mind..

Yesterday I got called a pig (the dude also snorted) in the dining hall.

I was thinking, Seriously? You could have said that to someone who was eating, say, three desserts along with their huge servings of fried chicken, but no, you had to pick on the girl who's eating a salad and chicken!!!

I was having a bad day with my ME chronic fatigue syndrome and was out on my mobility scooter, it had turned lunch while I was out, so I went to the bakers and got myself a vegetable pastie, I sat back down on my mobility scooter and went to eat my pastie, when a bloke came up behind me, grabbed me by the shoulders and said loudly in my ear no wonder your sooooo fat, eating that and riding around on that thing. It left me shaken, upset and I ended up throwing my pastie and riding out of town crying. I still wont eat while out.

A few things.

 

Vegan, Karma comes around kid. It really does. Teenagers can be the cruelest creatures. At a time in ones life where everyone feels like they do not belong anywhere, out of sorts and insecure, why would a fellow teenager say something so asanine? Because he felt that it momentarily took the attention away from the fact that he has disabling insecurities. Please stop crying and think about why he would say something so stupid...and what level of emotional intelligence he has. I am pretty sure you know it's next to infantile. You give him power by letting it affect you at all. And I am sure since he had to say something like that...he doesn't have much power in his own life. Maybe you could privately approach him and calmly ask him why he felt the need to say something like that. Maybe tell him how it made you feel and ask for an apology. Or, lose all your weight and make him wish he even had the guts to ask you out. You decide.

Kaptain...same thing. What a jerk! But guess what? The good people in that dining room probably thought worse of him for saying that, than they did about you for being where you are right now. And guess what? Weight is temporary, you can change if you choose to. This poor sod will probably be an ass for the rest of his life. The thing about people like that is, they are so dim that they do not have to power to even reflect on their actions and feel remorseful. That is truly sad. And tragic. YOU aren't. You have the power to change and be whatever or whomever you wish. Go girl with your chicken and salad ! You have a dream ! Although my dream is to squash a big cake into that person's face.  But that's revenge. The best revenge they say, is success, and living well. Keep your chin up!

 

astral....

What a WANKER this "bloke" was to you!!!! If you wanted to eat a pastie, it was completely none of his damn business! I am proud of you for gettting out of your house, getting on the scooter and getting out there!  What he did and said to you was unforgivable, a violation of your personal space...he deserved to have that pastie inserted into a very uncomfortable orifice somewhere on his body. What is he? A sociopath? I am sorry there are creeps like that in this world...I hope he slips on a banana peel, slips a disc, ends up on a scooter and gains lots of weight because he is so depressed..and then he MIGHT end up with a bit of empathy.

I hope you continue to get out into the fresh air socialize with nice people. I also hope you continue to visit this site, keep taking care of yourself so that you can lose the scooter. Maybe to walk into town and walk past wanker and eat your pastie and wave at him.

I know you are all better people because of what you have gone through, and you would never treat anyone else the way that people have decided to treat you.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Original Post by astralhippy:

I was having a bad day with my ME chronic fatigue syndrome and was out on my mobility scooter, it had turned lunch while I was out, so I went to the bakers and got myself a vegetable pastie, I sat back down on my mobility scooter and went to eat my pastie, when a bloke came up behind me, grabbed me by the shoulders and said loudly in my ear no wonder your sooooo fat, eating that and riding around on that thing. It left me shaken, upset and I ended up throwing my pastie and riding out of town crying. I still wont eat while out.

Some people are just cruel and immature. I'm truly sorry that happened to you, and I feel as if his actions reflect badly on humankind in general. I do hope eventually you will eat out again, because I haven't met a lot of people who judge strangers like that.

The comments that stuck with me are the ones from people I knew.

"Her arm is the size of my thigh! Haha!" Courtesy of my aunt.

"If she keeps getting bigger, she can't do ballet anymore. None of the costumes or leotards will fit her." I hated that comment from my ballet instructor. I liked dancing for fun, I truly did, but I couldn't face classes any more afterwards.

Thanks, monarch777!  You made me feel better.
Btw-I lost all my weight and I bet he wishes he had the guts to ask me out.  xD

 

astralhippy: ...I don't believe that.  I'm in shock.  That's the most abominative, unwarranted cruelty I've ever heard of!  I'm so sorry it affected you like that!  Just reading your story made me want to cry.  God I wish I could floor that **** for you!

Original Post by veganpancake:

Thanks, monarch777!  You made me feel better.
Btw-I lost all my weight and I bet he wishes he had the guts to ask me out.  xD

 

astralhippy: ...I don't believe that.  I'm in shock.  That's the most abominative, unwarranted cruelty I've ever heard of!  I'm so sorry it affected you like that!  Just reading your story made me want to cry.  God I wish I could floor that **** for you!

Well, that's the point I guess...fat can be temporary. You are feeling better about yourself...and you will forever remember the stupid, cruel words someone else put out there. I really wish people would actually use the brain that was connected to their mouth before the verbal damage was done. Why not use words to encourage and to cause positive things to happen?

People who think that telling an overweight person something that they think is "helpful" without being asked are just causing further damage. If I ASK for your thoughts, that's one thing.  Unsolicited advice is totally un-called for.

I did the former. I ASKED my fiance' if he thought I was fat. He told me yes. I really did not want to hear THAT answer, but I did ask. But it did hurt.

I have ultimately learned to not ask unless I want to hear the naked truth. So now I don't ask.  But if he had told me I was fat without me asking...I don't think I would have married him.

Original Post by astralhippy:

 a bloke came up behind me, grabbed me by the shoulders and said loudly in my ear no wonder your sooooo fat, eating that and riding around on that thing.

 *boggle*

*boggleboggleboggle*

I literally can not get over that. WHO DOES THAT? What kind of asinine prick goes up to someone and DOES THAT???? Seriously. WTF. I am so sorry that you had to encounter someone like that. He deserves to be castrated with no anaesthetic. If I lived near you I would volunteer to be the "doctor" that performs the operation. Man, what an ass. That totally boggles my mind. 

A total stranger walked up to me in the hall and told me I was really ugly.  I guess they were just trying to be mean and it worked, made me cry.

Karma is as real as faith.

Original Post by astralhippy:

I was having a bad day with my ME chronic fatigue syndrome and was out on my mobility scooter, it had turned lunch while I was out, so I went to the bakers and got myself a vegetable pastie, I sat back down on my mobility scooter and went to eat my pastie, when a bloke came up behind me, grabbed me by the shoulders and said loudly in my ear no wonder your sooooo fat, eating that and riding around on that thing. It left me shaken, upset and I ended up throwing my pastie and riding out of town crying. I still wont eat while out.

I just don't get some people. What gratification is he getting from that?

Mean usually does work. I wonder what this person benefitted from informing you of that?  In effect though, in telling you that you were ugly, this person/wanker actually succeeded in uglifiying his own self. Some pretty packages are opened to reaveal real inner-ugliness. Some people are so beautiful on the inside that it actually oozes through to their outer skin and they tend to overshadow whatever physical self they have. I am sure you are the former. Who wants to take a big bite of a beautiful looking apple only to get a mouthful of rotten, wormy fruit?

On occasion, people believe that if they only work on the outside that the inside doesn't matter. Guess what? No one really wants to be around them! The word "shallow" is so descriptive. I think of seeing a sparkling pool that you are tempted to jump into...head first. If you are smart, you dip in a toe to find that it is only about 2 inches deep. If you are shallow yourself, you jump in believing that what is beautiful is "real"....and you break your neck.

Where I work we all get CPR trained every year in January.  Two years ago my boss and I were partners for the what-to-do-if-someone-is-chocking segment and she was standing behind me when the instructor came up to us, pulled us in front then proceeded to demonstrate with us about what to do if you can fit your arms around someone who's 'too big'.

Thank God my dad is also a CPR instructor and he can certify me - I will never get trained with my work group again (no matter my size) because of that incident.  I'm sure didn't mean it meanly but how awful is it to have every single one of your work-peers look at you as the person is too big to be able to fit arm around.

This sounds super pathetic and I know it's not REALLY that bad but these two things really hit me hard:

1.) When I lost 1/2 an inch off my waist and was all exited, I asked my mom if I looked different and she said, very non-chalant, "You look just as healthy as you did last week..."

2.) My friends don't like the fact that I'm trying to lose weight and the skinniest of us, who is 5'4 and must weigh about 74 pounds, said, "You don't need to lose weight...stick." I know she meant well, but she sounded so pained at calling me stick. I know I'm not overweight, but I'm not a stick either and I know she was lying. I hate it when my friends do that.

 But yea, that is nothing compared with what you guys have gone through. There are way to many mean people out there, and I give you all tons of kudos for keeping your chin up and please know that really they are just insecure too.

He was with a friend, they both thought it was pretty funny.  I've gotten the "ugly" thing a couple of times throughout middle school and high school.  Apparently people just feel the need to tell me... (actually, most of the time they were gossiping and didn't think I could hear)

Original Post by missmichelle:

He was with a friend, they both thought it was pretty funny.  I've gotten the "ugly" thing a couple of times throughout middle school and high school.  Apparently people just feel the need to tell me... (actually, most of the time they were gossiping and didn't think I could hear)

Ah yes, middle school and high school. Not a good test audience for judgement of course. Everyone is picked on for SOMETHING. One of my best friends had large breasts. She was picked on. I had very small ones. I was picked on. I really do not think anyone can win.

Wow, I didn't think I would get such horrible posts... It makes me sad. To look on the bright side, I hope you all found some relief in expressing your feelings and reassurance from other posters that some people truly are butt heads.

As for people in middle school and high school, I think the bullies know that the future holds nothing for them, so they enjoy the power while they can.

Original Post by monarch777:

Original Post by missmichelle:

He was with a friend, they both thought it was pretty funny. I've gotten the "ugly" thing a couple of times throughout middle school and high school. Apparently people just feel the need to tell me... (actually, most of the time they were gossiping and didn't think I could hear)

Ah yes, middle school and high school. Not a good test audience for judgement of course. Everyone is picked on for SOMETHING. One of my best friends had large breasts. She was picked on. I had very small ones. I was picked on. I really do not think anyone can win.

Boys teased me in 4th grade when I started developing early, but back then I had no problem kicking them where it hurts most. Kids really can be mean, I can remember a few things I've seen said/done to others back in the later grades of primary and middle school (I didn't see much of it in high school actually).

When I lost a lot weight the first time around, I started at a size 26 and had just gotten down to a 12. I was probably 25 lbs from my goal. I was working 3rd shift and was getting ready to go to work one evening. I went into my room and was changing my shorts, but I didn't shut the door. My son, 16 at the time, came into the room and said "Mom" very loud. I apologized for not shutting the door as I was standing there in my shorts and underwear. He said, "No, that's not it. Your stomach, it's gone." I looked down and said something like thanks, you're right. We talked for a bit and then I went back into the living room and sat down. After my son went back upstairs, my mother looked at me and said, "Your stomach is still pretty big".  All I could do was glare at her. I was in shock at what she said and how she said it. I knew if I said anything right then I would regret it. We did have a huge fight about it months later. 

I never could look at her the same or give her the same level of support. I was living with her and taking care of her, and it was very hard.  It was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through.  I cant describe the level of betrayal I felt.

It did make me stronger, but it has also made it harder to trust someone on an emotional level.