Comments family member make about my weight..anybody else have the same problem

so i got my mother, father in-law, grandmother and grandfather on about my weight every single time i see or talk to them.

i've been very strict with my diet and they are all aware i'm doing it

yet every single time i speak to them they lecture me about how i need to lose weight ...its driving me crazy

i've told them numerous times to stop and they still dont...i'm sooo sensitive and it really makes me feel bad.

i haven't seen them in a few months and i'm going home next week and i'm soo nervous about what they will say as i still havn't lost a significant amount of weight

does anyone else got family member like mine???

My inlaws like to make comments about my weight, and spend their time watching what I put on my plate.

I told them all to get bent and mind their own business.

Yeah, my skinny family is very weight-oriented.  Now it's my cousin who draws all the commentary, and I try to stick up for her as often as I can.  Sometimes family isn't aware that they are being insensitive; they just think they're being concerned. 

If you've told them to stop and they haven't, they probably won't.  My suggestion is to completely ignore any comment they make and immediately talk about something completely unrelated.  Along the lines of,

Mom:  So, when are you going to start getting more exercise?

You:  Hey, did I tell you there's the cutest little kitty hanging around my porch?

Just refuse to be drawn in.  Either they'll get the point or they'll want to know why you won't talk about it, in which case you can remind them that you don't care to discuss it.

mm my grandfather :\

he tends to always put his two cents in as "over the lips and onto the hips" whenever i see him.

i guess he means well. but, like you, i'm super sensitive about the whole weight issue.

i'm kind of having the opposite problem. i've lost almost 25kg but i still have 10kg to go. because i've been overweight my whole life my family are used to seeing me fat. they think its normal and they've started to scrutinise everything i eat and nag me because they think i don't need to lose any more. in actual fact i'm still classified as being overweight and losing more is perfectly healthy for me. everybody has an opinion! grrr. i just try to quietly carry on and do my own thing. refuse to be drawn into the debate 

My entire family is overweight and battling various ailments as a direct result of their poor diets and sedentary lifestyles; I never say a word, but they always find something nasty to say about my healthy weight and diet. 

My father in particular is bad for it; despite the fact i'm 5'8 and 142 lbs with very little body fat, he'll walk up to me, prod my stomach and say something along the lines of 'gained a little huh?' or 'you must be bloated'.  His father does the same thing to everyone else.

 People pounce on weakness.  If you do not stand up for yourself in a confident way they will walk all over you.  Simply saying no is not enough.  You have to act like you mean it. 

If they comment on your weight I would look them straight in the eye - give them the look you might give your kids if they were misbehaving and say "My weight is not open for discussion".   Stare hard, be proud.  Powerful people are powerful because they do not allow others to influence them.

But they take that power.  It is not given to them and they do not "earn" it.  They take it.  You need to take your power too. 

Original Post by painted_lady:

i'm kind of having the opposite problem. i've lost almost 25kg but i still have 10kg to go. because i've been overweight my whole life my family are used to seeing me fat. they think its normal and they've started to scrutinise everything i eat and nag me because they think i don't need to lose any more. in actual fact i'm still classified as being overweight and losing more is perfectly healthy for me. everybody has an opinion! grrr. i just try to quietly carry on and do my own thing. refuse to be drawn into the debate 

 Painted lady - I have the same exact problem!! From both family and friends. I've always been overweight, and now that I'm technically at a 'healthy' weight, they are telling me I'm too skinny.  I still have about 15 pounds to lose before my BMI is in the perfect place. People just don't like change I suppose - and oftentimes they are just jealous!!

OMG..........where do I start... I love my family but I am truly fed up to the point I am going to stay away for a little while.  When I was in high school I was always too fat (5'3 137 lbs) If I lost any weight I would hear from my father..turn around, I think I found it.  Then I ended up getting very ill for about 2 months and lost about 15 lbs.  Then I heard, gee, I hate to see you sick but you "finally" look good.  I've always been pear shaped so when I do lose it seems it goes up top first. don't you hate that?  Then in my twenties, I was always accused of starving myself. I guess no one thought I was ever intelligent enough to lose weight the healthy way so lets just "assume".  I have always dbeen picked on for now being too thin which I can assure you, I am not.  I don't think I am fat, probably just normal.  By the charts my BMI is normal and my weight is normal.  I am now in my forties and have started a very healthy life style.  I work out 5 days a week at the gym which now I am told by my mom and dad I'm just going through a mid life crisis.  I explained to them (why I still bother is beyond me) that I am not trying to lose weight but just eat a lot healthier and tone up.  I just bought a bike on Sunday because when It is nice out I love to ride instead of going inside at the gym.  Well, needless to say, I was made fun of because of that.  Unfortuantely where I live there are no bike trails so I just ride along side the road and purchased a helmet as well, and was made fun of becase of that!  How stupid I must look with that helmet on. 

I know I have probably given the impression that my family is terrible and they are not really, but when it comes to this...God help me.  They KNOW how much this behavior hurts me.  My husband tells me they are just jealous. Any thoughts?

I read something once about how you have to identify with someone on a personal level to have real jealousy. We are generally more competitive with people in our closer circle (aka the jonses, or sibling rivalry) With at being said, it is hard for people to watch someone they are close to being successful if they are stuck in denial. Unless they are strong enough people. They either: A- stay bitter as you flourish, or B- Jump on the bandwagon. Thankfully, my family is trying too.

I did have haters at school though, people who told me I was getting too small (134 @ 5' 5'' and plenty of muscle) when I did not ask thier opinion. One guy went as far as to tell me I no longer looked sexy. A guy i was dating wanted me to gain weight, and indicated with his hands that maybe it would go to my butt and hips. last time we chatted.

When I did gain weight, some of those same a** holes were there to inform me. And to give me advice, as if they EVER lost 50 lbs like I did.

Tell them to keep moving.

Know where it comes from. Be happy for you even if no one else is.

Kakenetit2, I can definitely relate.  The first holiday after I became a vegetarian my grandmother told me I was going through a phase.  It's nineteen years later and apparently this is a really long phase!

Many times people who love us don't realize they're being hurtful.  That's often not their intent.  Sometimes, especially I find with men - fathers, grandfathers, they don't really know how to relate to their female relations, so they "tease" or "joke" not realizing that we might be sensitive.

If you know their hearts are in the right place, even if their mouths aren't, just ignore it and move on.  You know who you are better than they do.

It was comments like that from my mom that eventually led to my eating disorder.
"Eating again I see"
And the kicked is that although I was at the high end of a healthy BMI, I was never 'overweight'... whereas she was and still is.

Now that I'm trying to recover (and have gained a few pounds) I hear all about her desires to be thin and how she might not waste away if she has to wait a little longer for food, yet I might. I'm still at a healthy weight.

Can't wait for school in the fall. Yay Residence. :D