mean comments...how did/are you getting over it?

we all know girls can be flat out M-E-A-N! Last year I had a huge fallout with my roommates, specifically one of them and her sister.  In out last big fight the girl went off on how fat and ugly me and my boyfriend were.  I was at the time about 160 pounds at 5'6", so I was a little over weight but not technically "fat".  My boyfriend is perfect, he has no weight issues.  The hilarious part of the whole thing is that the other 2 girls living with us are obese.

My issues is that even though I know that girl is pure evil (trust me) and that she was just trying to hurt me, she actually kinda did.  I really dont want to let her win! Has anyone delt with something like this? Why can't I just let this go?

Be really, really proud. Someone saw you as so far above them that they tried to tear you down <3

It took me a long time to realize that words only carry the weight we let them.  Consider this:

The comment doesn't reflect reality -- it was a blatant exploitation of something you might be self conscious about in an attempt to hurt you.  And it really was more telling about what the person saying it feared -- because we tend to think others share our fears, so what we think might be the most hurtful comment to say to someone is really what we would be most hurt by.  (Granted, that's not in all cases, but it would seem likely here.)  

Undoubtedly she had heard many a terrible comment from people about her weight.  Hurtful things are difficult to forget, which makes it all too much easier for us to pass them on (we remember them clearly when "looking" for hurtful things to say).  I feel kind of sorry for her already just going down this line of thought.  I think it may have resonated with you feeling self conscious (just a guess, because I know it would hurt me for that reason) and that's why it's hard to let go.

After I'm done invalidating the hurtful remark, listing all the reasons it's wrong, I do the last thing that took me a long time to come to terms with.  I forgive.  It was so hard to do at first... especially because I felt the particular person who was the source of most of my hurt was at heart unforgivable.  But forgiving has nothing to do with the person you forgive -- it's really about you.  You have to forgive or carry the burden of that hurt around with you forever.  

I don't know about you, but I had to much already.  I mentally pull all that hurt together, imagine the source person of it, and say to myself "I forgive ___ for ___." until I go through all the hurts.  It doesn't happen over night, but eventually you really do forgive.  I do this as often as I need to until I don't feel the hurt anymore.  Because it's not worth letting those petty remarks stay in your life.

Sorry for dragging on, I have a tendency to write epic trilogies for posts.

The girl probably just took what you may have expressed as an insecurity before and used it as a low blow....if you ever made a comment about wanting to lose a few, or wanting to tone up.  She knew those words would cut the deepest.  I've been on both sides of the whole mean comment thing....I've hurt others, and I've been hurt.

Like when my ex cheated on me, my flesh took over and I said mean things about how he sat on the bench instead of playing football....that hurt him more than saying he was ugly, or bad at reading, because I knew he was soooo insecure by the fact that he didn't get much playing time.  I used that information to my advantage and killed him with it.

Now getting over these comments.....You just have to remind yourself that she only said those things to hurt you.  Whether they're actually true or not doesn't even matter.  Just as long as you know that you're a good person and everyone else that's important to you knows that you're a good person...who cares what she thinks???

You know...

I'm glad for those mean comments.


I was constantly gaining weight and in denial about it.


Truth is, I was fat.  Everyone knew it but no one would say anything so I thought no one noticed.


It was those fights with my sister when she'd throw out mean comments like that to me that made me get up and start to exercise and stop eating junk.

She's just mad 'cause your a hottie with a naughty body and she's not!

The other one wants your boy so she's tagging along.

I say they should just back off!