Committing to health and figuring out calorie needs

Over the summer I made a renewed effort to achieve 100% recovery. I've been in the "in-between" zone between weight restoration and total health for way too long and it's finally starting to take an emotional toll. I have to accept that this is not the weight my body wants to be at (even if it's where I've been keeping it for almost 6 years, since "recovering" from anorexia after an 8-month hospital stay).

I am currently around 135-137 and 6' tall. I'm seeing a psychiatrist and attending a weekly ED recovery group in my city. I am going to see a nutritionist in a few weeks, but I don't really know what I should be eating in the meantime. I haven't really restricted in a couple of years, but I usually limit myself to 1800-1900 calories a day and am really ritualized around food. I don't know what the first step should be. Does anyone have any ideas? I don't have a ton of weight to gain and I would prefer to do it slowly.

Thank you so much. I always find posts on this board to be really helpful and recovery-driven!

The usual start-point for weight-gain is 2500 cals a day.  However, given that you're particularly tall you may find you need to add another 400-500 to that number to keep seeing steady gains.  A healthy weight for you would start at around 150lbs. 

If the rituals surrounding food would stand in your way of eating more i.e. if you tend to choose low-calorie foods, then discuss that with your recovery group and your psychiatrist.   Adding in energy-dense foods is often a stumbling block and I'm sure they'll have ideas how to get around it.

first of all well done in deciding you need to progress more . ive been in a similar position to you and its almost as bad as being at your very lowest weight. I know you said you arnt restricting , but i think you probably are , your very tall and more than likely need more just to maintain . im 5ft 11 and my nutritionist is looking at 2500 for me to maintain or even more .I think a good idea for you would be to get up to 2500 as you are still underweight you may gain on this or you might need more this will be at a small rate. i understand you fear, but what have you to lose ? this isnt making you happy is it ? how about writing down all the things youd like to work on ie cutting exercise, adding new foods, eating out etc these are just examples you could put them to your team and work at slowly changing these habits . use the weight gain forum theres loads of support there on offer . it will be hard to challenge but worth it in the end. good luck h x

Thank you both. I'm feeling really optimistic about the whole recovery process. I think I will try for 2700 calories for the next week or so and see how it goes. It's hard to think that I am restricting whilst eating 1900 calories, but I think you're right Tessa-- if I am purposely not eating what I need, then I am restricting, at least on some level!

I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. My life is pretty good right now (I'm engaged, doing my PhD, etc.) but the food stuff is what's stopping it from being fantastic.

I am glad you are motivated. I think that when a body gets depleted so much that 1900 for example becomes like starving in a way. Your body just needs so much to repair and replenish. I am glad you are going up to 2700. You may feel very uncomfortable but in the long run it will help so much. It sounds like you have so much going for you and you don't want this to ruin it. Keep us updated