communal eatin'--what to do?

I'm having a bit of trouble with this whole new situation.  Before this school year, I used to eat out a lot, but got my weight to be stable this summer because I was only working full time and had time to cook for myself.  However, with the beginning of the new semester (i'm in college), I find myself living with two other girls, both of who want to lose weight as well, but aren't active about it.  We share food and cook house meals.  The reason we make "house meals" is because we all work odd hours around our school, and it's easier to have the responsibility of cooking once a week each on the days we have time for everyone for two-three days than it is to eat the same thing every day/cook more frequently. 

I will say that this habit has cut down on the time i spend every day cooking, and also on the money I used to spend in fast food, and I will also say that whatever they cook is still better than eating out, but I have not been losing any weight.  On my nights, I try to make healthy meals, like fish with broccoli, or stir-fry with double the veggies that the recipe calls for, but today the person responsible for cooking just ordered out. 

The problem is that I am not losing any weight at all. (nor am I gaining, btw)  I have 3/4 of a cup of cereal with a 1/2 cup of skim milk, and for lunch I have either a ham, chicken, or turkey sandwich with one slice of cheese and a tbsp of mayo, with a serving of whatever fruit is on sale. For a snack, I try to keep it within 300 calories, which makes my total before dinner at around 1000-1100 calories out of around 1600, which is my goal.

Sorry for the long post, just wanting to give people as much information as possible.  How do I handle this?  I don't have time to make all of my own meals, and I'm afraid that if I don't do the communal meal thing, I'll go back to the fast food thing...any suggestions?

 A few quick ideas......

Maybe on your night to cook, you could cook double. Freeze half of it in portioned containers and explain that they are for you in case you don't want to eat fast food. Most meals will freeze well and your roomies should understand (I hope they would).

Also, it would be a good idea to make sure you are eating the right portions (maybe with a digital scale) that way you can ensure you are counting the calories right.

Without knowing your stats, though, it is hard to tell if you are eating too little....

I'm five eight and around 230 pounds on a large frame, I swing between 225 and 230.  My goal is around 1600 calories a day.  The burn meter says I burn around 2200 calories/day so that leaves me with a 600 calorie deficit.  However, this is a goal, and so I do leave about 100 calorie supposed "wiggle room" because there's always a free handful of popcorn or small piece of candy, or a cookie or something to be had around campus :)

It sounds like you have the right idea, but count EVERYTHING that goes in your mouth...even the freebies, if you can.

I would have a hard time getting 500 calories for dinner, especially if people were ordering in. Figuring out a way to have your meals premade is going to be your best route, imo.

If you want to save room for more calories at dinner you could try the light breads (Nature's Own makes a good one 80 cals in two slices), cheeses with skim milk, etc.

I think the reason you aren't losing is because you can't really account for the calories in something someone else cooks......but I may be wrong.

You are totally on the right track, dinner and the freebies are where the problems lie.

I have not heard of this light bread? Is it like diet coke, where it tastes different, uses fake sugars or something? 

I do realize that it's because i can't account for it, and I can't log it.  One of the girls, especially, is a recipe-hoarder, and wont let me have the recipe to put it into the analyzer so I can adjust my portion size.  I'm just frustrated I guess, when I end up eating general tso's chicken with fried rice because that's what my roomie ordered, or lasagna smothered in cheese because that's what someone else made.  Grr...

I don't want to make a huge fuss about it either because I don't want to come off rude.  and I do try to log the extra freebie calories as best I can. 

me again..... :)

Well, it wouldn't be rude if you just hoarded food for youself in the freezer (if you can stand to make double batches). But, you know....this is your life, so if you want to get healthy you are probably going to step on some toes in the process :)

I am lucky enough to only have my son to cook for, and I don't have to worry about someone not sharing the recipies. What is her deal, is it a secret family recipie or something?

I would be frustrated, too, if I were eating a dinner that someone fixed and yet they couldn't be bothered to tell me what is in it.

The bread, is awesome. Here is a link. No artificial flavors, colors, sugars, etc. I don't know how they do it, I just eat it (I don't do diet sodas, or sugar free anything). You can compare it to their normal bread, if you want to try and figure out what the diff. is. One that I can see is that it is no fat, instead of low fat.

Keep some of those steamer bag frozen vegetables on hand.  If the dinner one night is too heavy, microwave a bag and add it to the meal.  Eat the vegetables first so you won't overdo it on the main dish.  And go on cooking your healthy meals when it's your turn - you're a good influence.

Will they eat salads?  If so, suggest you all get some salad fixings and have a salad every night with fat free dressing.  It helps fill you up and is so good for you.

Original Post by kelleigh:

The bread, is awesome. Here is a link. No artificial flavors, colors, sugars, etc. I don't know how they do it, I just eat it (I don't do diet sodas, or sugar free anything). You can compare it to their normal bread, if you want to try and figure out what the diff. is. One that I can see is that it is no fat, instead of low fat.

I buy Arnold bread, it's 40 cal/slice and it's 100% whole wheat. Nature's Own 100% "whole grain" wheat (not sure if that's different from regular whole wheat) is 50 cal/slice, so you save a bit there. Nature's Own does have a wheat bread at 40 cal/slice, but if you're going for wheat bread to stay away from simple carbs, it's not much better than white unless you get 100%.

I have two kids to cook for.  I am losing the weight but am struggling with making sure the kids are getting what they need and like.  They are both teenagers and very active.  They could eat pasta every meal.  While we no longer have it at every meal we do have it often.  I make sure that I have a big salad and extra veggies to fill 3/4 of my plate and only allow about a cup of the pasta.

Hi Guys, hope you don't mind me chiming in...

I think the ideas about eating salad and veggies are great... definitely has helped me, especially if I do happen to eat out...

I'm guessing that the two ladies you live with are friends? Have you thought about calling a house meeting and really talking about your concerns. I think this might serve two purposes... first, if they know how serious you are about losing weight, they can provide you with a source of accountability AND they can provide you with encouragement when you need it. Next, it might really change the way things are going in terms of meals. Maybe they just don't realize how their meals are affecting your weight loss.

Other than that, I think if you are serious about your weight loss, you need to not eat what they are cooking. As mean as that sounds, I don't know that people who are not losing weight can truly appreciate the struggles you are having. I live with someone who comes home every evening with taco bell, mcdonald's, etc... she'll always offer me some and I say no... it's made a huge difference in just cutting out the foods that I know will hurt me in the long run. I am a total binge eater... if I start, I just can't stop, so I know to stay away from my temptations...

A suggestion... I am single and cook in large batches of food. I make pasta, casseroles, etc that will last for ~8 meals. Once the food cools down, cut it into meal-size portions, pop it in a tupperware and you are set for about a week. I LOVE this approach because I don't have to think about what's going in my mouth, I have already calculated the calories.

Anyway, hope this helps, good luck...  

I understand that working full time while in school leaves little time for things like cooking healthy meals.   I agree with Lizzie.  Let your roomies know where you are with your nutritional needs.  Explain to them that even though you want to continue your 1 day of cooking each week, ask them to please not be insulted if you eat only a small amount of their meals - or pass on them altogether. 

Then stock your shelf of the fridge and cabinets with things that are good for you and things that are quick.  Cooking ahead is a great idea.  I often cook 3x the chicken breast I need for a meal.  It freezes well in meal-sized portions.  As does turkey.  You can always have some defrosted and ready to replace the stroganoff  that roomie has prepared.  Canned soup is something I always have around.  1 full can of chunky chicken noodle is only 200 cals and quite filling!  You can even get some of those frozen meals.  I don't, cuz hubby eats what I put in front of him, but I hear some are pretty good.

One more thing.  Do get measuring cups and a scale.  And use them.  I find it fascinating that 1 cup of cereal is much less than I thought it should be, while one cup of rice is much more then I expected.  And who knew that a half chicken breast was nearly 2 servings? 

Kay.

Have you tried the Healthy Choice frozen dinners?  They are REALLY good!  They are high sodium, so watch that, but if you eat one on a night someone made something that makes you gain weight just looking at it, it could really help.  The cafe steamers from Healthy choice are freaking awesome and do fill you up.  Or get one of the other meals and add a salad with a wishbone salad spritzer and parmesan or no cheese, depending on how many calories you have left for the day.  Are your roomates on here?  Maybe they just don't know how many calories are in stuff and are thinking they are doing pretty well.  Educate them.  When you make the meal, tell them/lable the meals with how many calories are in the portion size they have.  Estimate how many calories are in their meals.  You should know about what's in something, and be able to eyeball a balpark measurement on how much, by tasting/looking at it.  You may be a little off, but its better than no having a clue.  Good luck!

if eating communaly is the problem, why don'T you not do that anymore...?  just cook for yourself all the time...  it might be tough for them to ajust, but i don'T see why they should continue to make you eat things you don't want to.  if they'Re your friends, they'll be cool with it.

I like the idea of a meeting with your roommates.  You said that they want to eat healthy also.  Why not take it a step futher and actually plan your weeks menu with them, that way you will know what to expect on a given day and can plan accordingly.

Sounds like most everyone has the right idea about sitting down with your roomies and respectfully sharing how their meal decisions are impacting your health.  Planning menus for the week is great!  I recently got my live-in fiance on board with my healthy eating choices and every couple of weeks before we go grocery shopping, we sit down and negotiate haha.  I get to choose funky ethnic foods that he will tolerate and he gets to choose his favorites, cc-ified.  The leftover stuff in between is just generic (we only eat supper together so it's easy just having that one meal to work out) "neutral" territory. 

He is healthier for it and I have an easier time sticking to my plans and goals without his junk turning my kitchen into a caloric danger zone.  Your roomies will either reject it, or appreciate your concern and catch a little inspiration from your motivation like my fiance did and happily jump on board. 

wow, I got a bigger response than I thought I would.  Thanks guys!

I'll try ballparking the calories--i hadn't thought of it.  i'm so used to thinking in absolutes that it's hard for me to realize that if i miss a few small ingredients it won't kill me.  It's better than nothing...:)

I tend to be a non-confrontational person, but a meeting may be necessary. Part of the reason that I don't want to speak up is because i feel a bit like that picky little finicky eater that you want to slap.  I already have said that I can't eat red meat for religious and health reasons, and I have already said that I won't drink any kind of milk but skim, and other little demands that make my roomies secretely roll their eyes at me. I feel like I'm already annoying them, not just with my eating habits but also with my living habits (I can't watch TV while studying, so i sequester myself in my room a lot, and apparently I shed like a dog, etc etc)

Kay, I do have a set of measuring cups, and though I don't have a scale, I'm pretty proficient at guesstimating using a combination of eyeballing and comparing against the back of the bag of chicken, shrimp, etc.  I'm thinking of putting a cheap one on my birthday wishlist though. 

I do like the frozen dinner idea though.  I am not too terribly concerned with sodium.  I drink about 80 oz of water a day and even if i retain a little water, it's just water.  At least that will keep me away from the chinese food and pizza nights. 

and juleroo, the reason that the big meals work better is that before that I was eating more fast food.  Though this isn't the best situation, it's still better than curly fries and a gallon of soda, lol. 

This light bread though...it sounds suspiciously amazing ~_o  I'm definately looking for it the next time I go shopping. 

Original Post by foodismysin:

This light bread though...it sounds suspiciously amazing ~_o I'm definately looking for it the next time I go shopping.

I dunno how you feel about wraps, but I really like the flat out wraps and a vegan bakery in my town also makes some great tortilla-wraps with flax and other seeds and grains--maybe your's has something like that too.  The flat out wraps are between 90-100 calories though, but I think they are more fun to eat and hold lots of fresh veggies better than bread :)

Good luck!