Completely Disheartened

I moved a year ago to the small town of Penticton, British Columbia; 4 hours away from home; 4 hours away from my only motivation.  My mom and I were each other's motivators.  She kicked my ass all the time and I never could've asked for a better coach and friend to aid me in my life-long goal of being a fit and happy person. 

I've tried so hard to keep on track but have had no such luck.  I've successfully dropped 20 pounds and am at 150.  I hit my plateau almost 2 years ago and it's so frustrating I just want to cry.  My new friends eat junk food, don't exercise, drink excessively and induce vomiting to keep their figures, which, might I add, are like 10 year old boys.  My boyfriend, recently deemed fiancee, is 6'4 and is so thin, he can eat whatever he wants and he does with no regard to me.  I have absolutely no support whatsoever anymore and it's really, really getting to me.  I know, a lot of you are going to tell me to talk to him about it.  Trust me, I have, it does not work.

Although it is disgusting how well I eat for a 22 year old, even the trainers on Biggest Loser would be impressed at my fridge, but it's not enough.  I hate the fact that I will have to pay 100 - 300$ a month for a gym pass or work out group and I refuse to put myself further into debt.

Tell me about your struggles through people who just didn't support you and how you overcame them.  I need something to go on, I'm about an inch away from giving up.  I know there are motivational groups online, but I need people, actual physical bodies in front of me, telling me during an exercise, "JUST 5 MORE YOU BUM!!"

Something that helped me was to train for a race. I have been training for a triathlon for the last three months - and the race is Saturday...I figured I had to train or I wouldn't be able to cross the finish line. It gave me a great goal to be motivated for - and I am really proud of myself for doing all the work that it took...find an event that you are interested in!

I love Penticton! Such a nice area ... I'll be there in August, my bf is doing Ironman Canada ... you can volunteer to help there, it's HUGE motivation!!

I hear you though needing a group of people to workout with ... but you don't have to spend money to do it ... find a local running room and go for the group runs on Sundays and Wednesdays. Talk to them ahead of time and see if they have a learn to run group if you're not currently a runner (no you don't have to take the course to run with them). I've met some great friends from running groups. Also, if you bike you might be able to find a biking group, or a walking group (running room also has walking I think).  There are so many ways you can work in activities being in Penticton too - think of all the water fun you can have this summer!! Waterskiing, tubing, etc .... ohhhh I'm envious now!!

Whatever you do, don't follow your friends path in making yourself sick!

I know its hard but you really have to do this for you.  At some point you just have to say I'm doing this for me and I'm sorry but you'll just have to accept it and support me.  If you don't wish to then please respect me and don't try and sabotage my efforts.  A true friend or loved one who cares about you would make the obvious choice.  That is SO hard to do especially with family and loved ones who are always making comments or helpful (not) suggestions about what/how you should do.

You said that your mom was your best support.  What about setting up a plan and a set of goals with her to get back into your healthy lifestyle.  You could do a daily email exchange, chat, video, phone calls, etc., to check in with her on your progress.  When you need to push yourself imagine her watching you and the fact that you are going to have to report in on how you did.

You can do it - you might end up drifting away from some of those friends you have now but in the long run you will get back to your healthy, happy self.

Good luck!

That must be so hard for you! but surely there must be some active people you can get involved with.  at work maybe? sometimes all it takes is someone asking about a walk group, start small 15 min and keep getting the word out soon more people will join the group. Once you have a few "new" friends that want to get or stay healthy then it will be easy to bump up the pace to jogging or running or biking...

and YA keep close with your mom, call or email her when your needing that push! take pictures of what you see on your walks/jogs and send them to her ask her to do the same and share your new location sights. Use the Internet to find some new roads to travel on and tell her about them.

As far as your bf take it slow, they don't all respond well to "getting healthy" especially if it has never been a problem for him. but once they see how good you feel (energy and happy) then they will most likely support you 100% in your efforts. Good healthy habits rubs off too not just bad ones :-)

So keep trying and don't give up we know you can do it!!!!

Wish I lived closer to ya I would love to have a walking/jogging buddy! During the work day I go by my self because I am tired of the excuses of why someone cant get away from the phone/computer or desk for 15 min.... but for me I'll do it to just feel great at the end of a long 10 hour work day. then after dinner my family joins me for our 3 mile walk! 

PS I would keep my distance from friends like you mentioned you don't want to get caught up in that life style... good luck!

My friend was in Penticton for 6 months on her OE and she said she  joined (and I might be mistaken but I think it was free) Penticton Pounders (sorry if the link doesn't work someone might be able to fix it!) BUT, they were great to her - she said his name was Tim and if you let him know what you need he will be able to match you up with a buddy.  She said that they had joggers, wobblers and runners!  I'm a wobbler - someone that has just started and can easily give up unless someone drangles a chocolate bar in front of me - bit like a donkey.  Hope it helps.

http://www.pentictonpounders.com/

If you need someone to kick your ** I'm sure they will oblige and usually people in a group like this help get you motivated.