Not really a compliment?

I'm getting no response to this question in the motivation forum (how motivating, right?), so I'll ask it here:

My overall weight loss has been noticed, which is nice...but it seems as though I get comments like "you're doing great, so far". It's the said or implied "so far" that makes me unhappy.  How do they think I'm supposed to look? It makes me feel pressured to lose the rest of the weight (which isn't a lot, just 10lbs more). I'm already at a healthy weight, but  I do want to lose that last 10, you know?

Anyway, I've hit a plateau and I feel like I'm never going to lose the rest and will be considered chubby forever... Has anyone else had this happen with the comments you get from other people?  What do you do or say - - or how do you stay motivated?

Comments used to really bother me. I was thin in my twenties, and people commented that I was too fat or too thin, or getting chubby or whatever, and I always took it to heart. Um, I weighed anywhere from 110 to 115 at the time. Then, I put on some 30 pounds. You know what? people stopped commenting on my weight at all. I'm just waiting for some comment, either good or bad because then I'll know that I look "good enough" that people think it won't bother me if they comment on my weight. I've got about 10-15 to lose, and I really think that people don't really think before they comment.

But we can do it, we've made it this far right? That means we have the stuff to go the distance. How? Just keep trying stuff until something works. Don't give up, ok? I'm feeling a bit discouraged too but am determined to push through and make my goal a reality.

Cheers,

Janice

Original Post by cmleysen:

  What do you do or say - - or how do you stay motivated?

People say all kinds of silly things and you just have to develop a thicker skin if you want to survive in life generally.  If you took everything people said personally you'd be neurotic wreck.   You can't afford to analyse the 'so far' part of the comment trying to find deeper meanings or using it as a stick to beat yourself with. 

I'd take the 'you look great' bit and work with that. 

People perceive things differently.

Say if you lose weight and feel “ slim” one day,  remember that every one else around you will perceive your body differently.

Some people will think you look slim. Some people will thin you are average. Athletic. Some people may even think that you are larger than they think is “ ideal” ( although not necessarily realistic… their “ideal” not reality LOL)

I think that a lot of people have an unrealistic picture in their heads of what they wish their bodies could be, if they could wish for it;   therefore, people tend to be hard on other people.

Just ignore them.

If you feel good then that should be good enough, oftenstimes other people are jealous of your acheivements and perversely want to make themselves feel better by making others feel bad.

Peronally I don't care what anyone else says which is just as well because my sister is my biggest critic. If I took on board half of the comments she makes I wouldn't getout of bed of a morning. I don't think she means to be unkind she's just not very happy with herself and her weight so she can't see my success as anything other than a reflection on her failure to lose weight.

Enjoy your new found health and slimness

And well done on being so close to your ideal weight i am 58 lbs off mine.

Original Post by rosl:

Just ignore them.

If you feel good then that should be good enough, oftenstimes other people are jealous of your acheivements and perversely want to make themselves feel better by making others feel bad.

Peronally I don't care what anyone else says which is just as well because my sister is my biggest critic. If I took on board half of the comments she makes I wouldn't getout of bed of a morning. I don't think she means to be unkind she's just not very happy with herself and her weight so she can't see my success as anything other than a reflection on her failure to lose weight.

Enjoy your new found health and slimness

And well done on being so close to your ideal weight i am 58 lbs off mine.

And well done, rosl, to YOU! I am 73 lbs from my own goal, so I can appreciate what you must "look like", lol.

I wish ppl would keep their comments to themselves! Didn't their mothers ever teach them that "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"?!?

Leave out all the little, so fars, innuendos, hidden insults, ad nauseum, ad infinitum!!

The only ones I want to hear from are my doctor and my husband ~ well, maybe the kids too. But anyone and everyone else who thinks they know better for me than I do myself had better carry a big stick, cuz I am not taking it lying down!! I am working too hard to lose here, and I don't need to feel any less about myself than I do already, kwim??

I would just like to say, "well done, to all of us!!!"

I agree that it's best to ignore the comments of others.  While it's human nature to want others to support our efforts, it just doesn't work out because people often say things out of spite, or just not thinking about what they're saying.  Sometimes even a sweet friend with good intentions can say something that comes across as condescending or rude because weight is a sensitive issue.  Shrug it off and move on :-)   I've lost appx 100 lbs. and am always hearing comments about my weight loss, or the fact that my weight still fluctuates (have put on and lost the same 20 lbs. repeatedly over the last 2 years!).  I still get frustrated and still fight with my weight, but when someone says something I don't even respond....it's a closed topic as far as I'm concerned.   The truth is, as long as you're happy and doing the right things to keep yourself happy, nobody else's opinion matters.   Congratulations on your success!!!

Next time someone says you are doing great, so far, say, "Oh, I thought I was done. So, are you saying you think I'm fat?"  Nothing like being put on the spot to make a person think about what they just said.

Least they're complimenting you on your weight loss! Today when I went into work, one of my patients ever so sensitively told me "Every time I see you you seem to get bigger!". Cheeky Bugger, last time I looked I'd lost 20lbs!

I too can relate FIRST for posting on the Motivation Page and getting NO RESPONSE...IT HAS AMZED ME.

Secondly, I am in your shoes ...I too have 10 pounds to go and although I want lose it...I feel a TON OF PRESSURE just from the compliments I get. "You look awsome..your doing great...how much further do you have to go". I honestly need to drop another 5 pounds in thirty days and I'm not so sure I am going to make it. The weight seems to be creeping back on as I increase carbs.

So...I feel you on this one.

I can totally understand how you feel.  Why do you need to add anything.  You look good or nothing would be better.  I am 25-30 lbs from my goal and I have people saying "you aren't going to lose anymore are you?"  Well yes I am because I am not at a weight that is healthy for me.  The people who are asking me that are people who are overweight and do not want to diet and exercise.  That is fine with me.  Do as you want but to make me feel odd for wanting to work at this is bad too.  I think that if you want to lose 10 lbs for YOU, do it.  If you are at a healthy weight for you, good for you.  But people have to know that even with thick skin, weight loss is such a topic now with the media helping to crack our self esteem which seems to happen to all of us.  YOU will know when you look good and just say thanks to someone that says a dopey comment but listen to yourself about what you want to lose, not them.  As one writer wrote, they aren't your doctor, so who the heck do they think they are??

Good luck and congrats!!

Lisa