compulsive eating

I'm new to the group, so I guess a brief introduction is in order. I'm 18 years of age and a senior in high school. I've struggled with depression since my parents' divorce around the age of 10. When I lost my father to suicide the year later, I developed dissociative disorder and stopped eating to the point that my friends and family worried that I was anorexic. We blamed my Zoloft and moved on. I began eating normally a few years later, when I was in 8th grade. I did well for awhile, then I became depressed when my dad's suicide finally hit me as a sophomore. I turned to food for comfort, but it was a gradual change. I watched my aunt, whom I was very close to, die in hospice last Christmas. Since then, it's like I can't stop eating. There is a void that needs to be filled in my life, and it seems to have manifested itself as physical hunger pains. Even when I eat myself sick, I am not satisfied. I've gained 50-60 lbs this year alone, 20 of them in the past month. I don't really know what to do. For about a month, I was exercising daily and eating better. I just don't have the time to worry about it anymore, because I'm so stressed with school and the constant illnesses that plague me. But it bothers me that I have gained so much weight. Rationally, I understand why. However, depression is no excuse for putting me overweight. It's only worsened by my low self-esteem and horrible body image. I've seriously considered turning to anorexia, just because I know from my own experience that not eating means super-fast weight loss. There are days when I eat so much that I feel physically ill and trigger vomiting (don't really vomit naturally) just for some relief. I crave carbs like mad, which makes me believe I probably have atypical depression and that my body is desperate for more serotonin. I'm already on 50 mg of Zoloft, however - soon switching to Prozac, just because I hate having to take so much Zoloft after 7 years of building up an immunity. Does anyone have ideas for filling this void in my life and easing my depression so that I don't crave carbs as badly?

I do. I also am a carb junkie (and sugar junkie) but I've learned to eat them in moderation. These are some things that have worked for me:

1. I don't eat carbs with dinner. Just veggies and lean proten. Lots of veggies.

2. When i do eat carbs, i stay away from simple carbs and refined ones and I just eat whole grains, which offer plenty of fiber, keep me full, and control sugar spikes. I've found when I eat tons of pasta or cookies I just want to keep eating, even if I am stuffed. So, yes, I understand where you are coming from.

3. The South Beach Diet was a good starting place for me. In its first phase, you won't be eating anything with sugar in it, which reprograms your body and helps with those cravings.

I too cope with depression every day. Eating healthy (lots of vegetables, at least two cups with lunch and dinner) helps me keep my mood stable. Exercising also boosts my mood amazingly. I am off my meds right now, and I regulate my moods through a combination of exercise, healthy eating, and regular sleep. Yes, i have my bad days, but keeping that consistent routine makes such a difference.

Of course, you've probably heard that not eating is the most damaging thing you can do for your body. It messes with your metabolism, forces your body to eat fat AND muscle, and can lead to internal organ damage. It isn't worth it. I understand the desire for control and rapid weight loss, but everything must be done in moderation. Cut out refined sugar, cut out full-fat cheese, cut carbs from dinner, increase vegetable and low-fat dairy intake, but DO NOT starve yourself.

I hope this helps. I've been there and understand what you are going through. There's a lot of us out there who live our lives followed around by the dark shadows of depression. It's a battle. Every day. But it's something you can beat. But first, and always, remember to be kind to your body. It's the only one you'll ever have.

Same problem here, my depression gets worst when the seasons change.

I did some research on SAD and discovered that a major symptom is carb cravings. I bough a sad light and when I sit infront of it I instantly feel better and my cravings go away.

Best investment ever.