LOCKED TOPIC

Confidentiality -talking about ED with psychologist

Hi, I've been seeing a psychologist for my apparent anorexia for around 6 months now, used to be weekly, now fortnightly. But I have no memory of her telling me what I told her was confidential. I'm 14, and my mum said she told us on the first day that everything was between her and me, unless she felt it was harmful. Like, if I told her I was going to stop eating for 4 days, she'd obviously tell mum. I dont remember her saying anything though. I'm going to see her tomorrow morning, and I'm going to ask her, but I was just wondering if anyone knew what the 'guidelines' were for confidentiality.

My school counsellor said the whole 'confidential unless harmful' thing, and ended up telling my parents everything cause she thought I was threatening my life. I just don't want to tell my parents how I am feeling and what I'm thinking, I would be lectured soooooooooooo much more. And if the thing about only telling if it is harmful is true, then I obviously can't tell my psychologist everything either. I won't post what I can't tell her, cause this topic will be deleted.

I'm just really freaked out, cause she called my mum 2 days ago and said if I didn't open up to her she would make me see another psychologist, he's a male who I've seen a few times when she was sick, and he is really really tough. I don't wanna see him.

Please, if you have any experience with this confidentialilty thing, it would be very appreciated (:

Thanks

i think if we slow all this down for a minute, we can find something important to work with. 

scaredoflonely: right now, you're noticing that you want to kind of play the game of getting better with your therapist and parents and not get better.  this is really common among people when they first enter treatment.  feeling this way is normal.  at the same time, as others have pointed out, moving forward with this plan could result in a LIFETIME of ED.  the important thing is that you NOTICED where you're at.  you NOTICED that you want to hang onto the ED.  it's great that you could notice that.  i'm sure you've had similar experiences where you noticed that you really didn't want to do something: go to school, do an assignment, call a relative, etc.  and just like in these other areas of your life, not wanting to do something is not a sufficient justification for not doing it.  in other words, not wanting to go to school is rarely, if ever, a reason to not actually go to school.  the same situation is happening now.  not wanting to go forward with treatment is not sufficient justification for not going forward with treatment.  i strongly suggest you share your concerns about involving your parents with your therapist.  she/he can work with you on that.  wouldn't it be great to learn some ways to talk to your parents that feel more effective?  i would also strongly encourage you to share your reservations about getting better with your therapist.  again, these feelings are really normal.  and, even if you don't tell her, your behaviors will eventually reveal that you're stuck.  you don't have to suddenly be 100% on board with getting healthy, but it is CRUCIAL that you find a way to be willing to let be know where you ARE at.  for example, how many times have you complained to friends or family about not wanting to do an assignment for school...and yet a few hours later you're there working on the assignment, right?  it's OK to notice that you don't want to do something.  that doesn't mean you can't go forward with it.  and here, where your health is at stake, it's absolutely critical that you move forward with your treatment EVEN if you don't want to. 

Original Post by jcl76:

Guys, can you be a little less harsh? She is obviously very confused and scared. She's a child...only 14 years old. She needs support and encouragement. She has said she wants to get better but doesn't know how. She knows she needs to be healthy, but you can't expect her to be mentally recovered from anorexia overnight. I remember when I went through my trauma, I wanted it to stop but I didn't know how to stop it. And like scaredoflonely said, it gave me some kind of temporary happiness. However, the rational side of me knew it was an awful thing and I had to get out of it. I just was too entrenched and felt I had no one to help me. I didn't have the courage to tell my parents. 

Scaredoflonely, hang in there. Can you really not see your therapist for another month? Can you call her at least? That's a long time. I also think it would be good if you started seeing a nutritionist as well. And as I said earlier, as soon as my parents found out about my problem, things got much better. It was only after they found out that I was able to recover. I know you don't want to talk to them about this, but what have you got to lose? They won't kick you out. It sounds like they really just want to help you. 

Hugs to you :)

Thankyou (:

I would call her, but I wouldn't be able to without my mum on the other line listening ): My parents told me this has nothing to do with control and freedom, but it does. I can ask my mum to try and get me another appointment, but its a long shot, and then she would want to know why. But now that I can talk more, I really want to. I want her to help me get better. I've been seeing her for 6 months, and I've said hardly anything for that time. Now that I can talk, I really want to. I want to get better, but yes, I am confused and at the same time, I don't want to fully let go.

everyone else, you obviously don't like my posts or anything, so stop replying to them. I just wanted some opinions/experiences, not complaints.