Confused...Guy question!

I met this guy on facebook....it was over this application called 'Are You Interested?'. I click yes anonymous and he clicked yes on me too, which created a match...well, he messages me, we message back and forth for a couple of days. We live in the same state, we are about the same age, and he is pretty  hot too...again we message back and forth, he tells me he likes me, asks me if I have Yahoo messenger or anything so we can chat more, we go on messaging back and forth, then he tells me that he isn't sure he wants me as a facebook friend because he knows all the people on his facebook friends in real life and isn't one for 'online friends'. WTH? He is the one who messaged me first...so I message him back...and he writes back just normal...so he wants to be friends...he wants to message back and forth, but he doesn't want to be facebook friends? WTH?

Guys confuse the crap out of me....

suggestions to this situation or how to deal with guys in general greatly appreciated!

He's clearly not worth the time worrying over it...

I personally have no friends on my facebook that aren't my friends in real life.... but then i don't stike up convestations with starngers either.... I wouldn't think too much about it to be honest. You barely know the guy so just forget about. Thats what i'd do atleast.

I only have real friends as friends on Facebook too.  Some people put a lot of personal information on their Facebook pages.  It's stupid do that in the first place, but you're a complete stranger.  He doesn't know you and perhaps he doesn't want you privy to the personal info he has on his page.

I see where he's coming from.  I have a MySpace for just people I personally know that I post all the good stuff on and another MySpace for regular use, and even on that I don't add random people, only those I message often and talk to often (sorry for all the denied calorie counters, by the way!).

Take it how you want.  Either he's worth the instant messenger or he's not. (:

Yea dont worry about it... people look at different features in different ways. Like i tell my family one of my emails... but they dont know my others. Theres nothing wrong with wanting to have a "real life" account and not wanting to put online things to it.

Maybe I'm just being cynnical, but maybe he doesn't want anyone else (like a girlfriend) to see he's been making female friends and chatting it up with you online. Also, someone's photos online aren't always the real person. Don't assume that's what he really looks like.

There could be a lot of reasons for his not wanting you as a "friend," but hey, just chatting with someone online doesn't always mean anything. I wouldn't worry about it at all ... just keep is down to casual chatting if that's all he wants.

Haha.... He has a girlfriend.

Am I the only one who thought he wants to meet you in person?  It sent a red flag up for me right away that he may be trying to manipulate you.  Take care :\

Haha.... He has a girlfriend.

oooo yea! Thats probably a more likely answer.... sneaky bastard!

First impression: he has a girlfriend.

Original Post by halizabeth:

Am I the only one who thought he wants to meet you in person?  It sent a red flag up for me right away that he may be trying to manipulate you.  Take care :\

 Nope you're not alone, exactly what I thought!

I think he might have a girlfriend. Definitely sounds like he wants to keep the upper hand or be the one in control, though. I'd be careful.

Has a girlfriend or a wife. 

Is a dirty old man disguised as a hunk.

I had a co-worker whose sister posted the co-workers pic online instead of her own.

Beware if he wants to meet you.  Bring a friend and your cell phone if you decide to meet up.  And meet in a very public place.

and dont take any "vitamin" pills if he gives you any!!!!

I'm thinking its probably one of these two senarios:

He has a gf or wife and doesn't want her to know

or

He wants to meet you in person.

 

I agree with everyone else here , he doesnt want SOMEBODY to know that hes chatting you up. ..

Yea, sounds sketchy.

He definitely has at least one girlfriend...

Original Post by jblarghp:

Yea, sounds sketchy.

He definitely has at least one girlfriend...

No shi........ya think?

I use to do this stuff all the time when I use to party like a libertine back in college, even though I always got caught. Yet it turned out that a lot of girls who weren't my GF actually didn't care, so that was cool.

You used to cheat on your girlfriends all the time...?
You are such a good guy ;)

Yeah, I know it was a bad thing to do, I actually felt guilty until I realized that EVERY GUY was doing it, then it just felt like the norm.

I beleive somebody has got a message to reply to. haha...

He may have a wife,girlfriend, or baby momas.

Or ...He may not want you trying to interact with his irl friends and family since he doesn't know you. Some people are protective with their irl friends/family with good reason. In any case it's unwanted by him so you should respect that. If you were to act like this with him it would just make you seem well.... Odd.

Judging by the way you're being dramatic over this ... I'd say that was a good call on his part. He sounds like he doesn't want you becoming overly involved with his life. It's possible he's just not that into you. ( Yet ) or ( In general )

If he doesn't even know you in real life than perhaps you should wait for a reason to be offended. Facebook is more invasive. Consider it this way... His friends, family, classmates, and colleagues are off limits to you at this point. Some people are cautious because they don't want their good reputation tarnished.

(Some people are cautious because they don't want people that know them irl to infect you with the bad news about them. They keep you away from everyone that knows them in order to hide things to the best of their ability... Of course... Some people keep you away from their family to save you! Lol It can go both ways.)

I'd suggest taking the boundary without making it something personal. Otherwise, it just appears that you're looking for a reason to be melodramatic in my view. Or move on. ( It doesn't have to be made into a negative thing on his partaking. Unless you've been given actual reason to think so it's just un-needed.)

Views collide all the time but that doesn't mean something bad. Some people are overly self involving which leads them to feeling rejected when people shy away from situations. Until they've actually known them a lengtly period or actually met.

Or... He may be using it as a way to make you meet him sooner and in reality be a real psycho. Trying to manipulate the situation in order to groom you into a situation he's planned with intent.

Either way. It's smart to trust your first instinct about the situation. He may've red flagged you based on his conversations with you leading up to this point and decided against it. Who knows? You certaintly should know better than us. Lol  Try not to seem dramatic about it though. It's more flattering if you just appear smart and reserved.