Conspiracy Theory

Every person's blog that I have read for the past week says that their scale is not moving or is inexplicably moving in the wrong direction.  This includes my own-- which refuses to show me a number that is below 240 again.  And it makes me angry! 

So I have formed a hypothesis: The early Day Light Saving's Time change has some how altered the Earth's gravitational field and is making all of our scales go crazy!  And since I have no reasonable way to test this theory, I must assume that it is true and find supporting evidence.  ;)

Supporting Evidence: (please feel free to add your own)
1.  The US economy is down, and the government is trying to boost it-- so by moving the clocks early, making us all think that we weigh more, and forcing weight loss television shows to shamelessly promote products, they are hoping that we will all panic and go buy all of the advertised products (Hello product placement on The Biggest Loser last night!)

2.  Assuming that the bathroom scale companies had a miserable year last year (though I have done no research to support this), they paid off the government to alter the gravitational field surrounding Earth and we are now all rushing out to buy a new scale.

3.  The extra daylight each day tricks us into thinking that summer is just around the corner so we need to ramp up our weight-loss and need a new wardrobe.  So not only has the government altered the gravitational field-- they are also sending out $300-$600 checks this summer to make us go buy new bathroom scales and new wardrobes!

4.  Add your own.... 

My scale has been moving in the right direction...

... The melting polar ice-caps have saturated the earth's crust causing houses and the bathroom scales within to 'sink' rather more under the weight of the weigh-ee, thus giving the illusion of extra weight on top

... It being a leap year, all lbs now contain an extra ounce.

.... Weirdy beardy extremists, hostile to the US, have secretly recalibrated all bathroom scales in an ambitious experiment designed to sap morale.  (Insert Dr Evil laugh...)

.... Obama supporters have worked out a way to control bathroom scales remotely so that next time he stands on the podium promising... 'he can fix it'...  whammo... he really can.

.... Oprah wished it thus...  and lo, it came to pass..... that all were heavier than She

Original Post by gi-jane:


... It being a leap year, all lbs now contain an extra ounce.

for the win!!!

afowler- so funny, thanks for making my morning!!

LOVE the leap-year theory GI-Jane!  That is a great one!

Thank you all for brining some laughter into my boring wednesday morning!!

ahaha. this is like one of the best threads ever!

LMAO! Thanks Amy - and way to top it of gi-jane! Love the Oprah one....thanks for taking the edge off my CC obsession! Yeah!

Absolutely
Hysterical!!!

I love it!

well this is hogwash -all science and no faith

"In the beginning. God made the protein shake and the boca burger and the lunge and He said "Go forth and counteth each calorie that which thou putteth in thy pie-hole"

but the people were tempted by golden arches and zebra cakes and partially hydrogenized soybean oil. So the fateful day came when he caused the sky to cloud over with Stevia, and the rivers ranneth with green tea.

And lo I saw before me an angel with a pedometer, and he sayeth, 'Know that in the end times all scales will decieve thee by reading high."

And so the people ate steel cut oats and they were good. 

caniche! Thats really cute!

LOVE THIS ONE!  OKAY, YOU'VE BEEN HIRED TO POST THIS THEORY THAT REQUIRES MORE OF OUR TIME AT THE COMPUTER, AND LESS TIME OUT EXERCISING AND GETTING OUR WORK DONE.

FOR EVERY POST, YOU GET FIFTY CENTS SO YOU CAN EARN ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY ONE LATTE AT STAR-BUCKS.

BECAUSE YOU ARE ALREADY THE CEO OF STAR-BUCKS, YOU'RE GOING TO DONATE THE MONEY TO AN INSTITUTE THAT RESEARCHES HUMAN BEHAVIOR; THEY WILL MAKE UP ADVERTISING AND FLYERS ABOUT HOW TOO MANY PEOPLE SIT AT THEIR COMPUTERS TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT.

THEY WILL RECOMMEND THAT WE BUY ALL OF SUZANNE SOMERS FOODS SO SHE CAN GET BACK ON HSN AND SELL HER JEWELRY AND CLOTHES.

BECAUSE WE'RE NOT WATCHING HSN AND SUZANNE, SUZANNE IS TAKING A BEATING IN HER INVESTMENTS WHICH ARE IN ABOUT.COM WHO HIRED YOU TO START THIS THEORY - IT'S A GREAT IDEA.

SMILE - YOU'VE GOT A SUPER-CREATIVE MIND, AND A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR!  DIANE

LOL way to funny!

 

I do think it's from daylight savings time ....We all lost a WHOLE HOUR of our weight loss time which just sent our system into starvation mode makeing us hold all our calories!!!....I just hope it dosent take us till fall forward to fix this catastrophe!!! :)

Alyssandra--  You are onto something!  I think that the "falling forward" is strategically placed by our government to come just shortly before the Holiday Season...  which means big business for other retailers.  So during that time, we all switch from buying healthy stuff to buying naughty foods-- cakes, chocolates, candy canes, you name it...  that is their way of evening out the market!  And of course, then we have to go buy bigger clothes b/c of all the weight we put on... AND THE CYCLE LIVES ON! 

How could I have missed this part of the equation???!!