What constitutes as a lie?

What do you consider to be someone lying to you? Is a lie when someone blatantly tells a falsehood, or can it be extended to someone saying something general that can easily mislead you into an answer that is opposite of true? Is a lie not as much a deviation from the truth as it is perversion of the truth?

If the intention was to deceive me into thinking something other than the actual facts, then that is a lie, right? Or am I stretching with that? Would it not be lying by omission?

Thanks. I need help clearing my head and making sense of some things. Any help or insight is appreciated.

To me deception and lies are not the same thing although they do reside in the same neighborhood.    It is my opinion that it is only a lie when someone tells you something that they know is not the truth and they assert that it is the truth.

I would say a lie is a purposeful act on someone's part to not be entirely honest.

If I tell you "That's Green" when it's Red, it's a lie.
If I tell you "That's not Red" when it's Red, it's a lie.

However, if I tell you that something is Red, but you misunderstand it, then it's not a lie.

This gets really really tricky when you get into he said, she said.. especially because there are numerous circumstances when not being entirely honest IS the right thing to do (for example, not going up to your husband's ex-gf and saying "He says I'm better in the sack than you are." is a positive.)

Alright, thank you. I figure there's going to be many interpretations, but hkellick summed it up for me. Basically my facebook status: "complicated" of a man said something he wanted me to misunderstand as the truth as to avoid me finding out what he really did (because he thought I would be upset), but I wouldn't buy into it, because I could tell he was acting shady. He's never lied to me before... that I know of... and I could tell something wasn't right.

That's just it.. I wasn't even mad at what he did. I had gotten mad over it in the past, but I had since then learn to tolerate it so as to avoid going through fights about it. I didn't freak out until he lied to me.

That first paragraph makes zero sense in post #3...

I was just preparing myself for the **** that's going to hit. I could already hear him saying that "he didn't lie, he didn't say anything false, so it wasn't a lie by technicality". Post 3 is the specifics of post 1.

Her: I'm 26 years old!

(she is really 35 years old)

LIAR!

Her: I weigh 124lbs!

(she really weighs 205lbs)

LIAR!

Her: I don't think Fortius is hot!

LIAR!

Fortius, that made my day. Too funny!

I don't screw around with people. I want the facts and the truth from them 100% of the time, because even if it hurts you, that's exactly what I will tell you and I don't see why I should recieve any less from you.

In order to having meaningful, caring relationships with other people, you have to be completely honest all the time. Because if anything happens for which you find out that person wasn't being upfront, it's difficult to ever believe them again.

Original Post by tincognito:

I don't screw around with people. I want the facts and the truth from them 100% of the time, because even if it hurts you, that's exactly what I will tell you and I don't see why I should recieve any less from you.

In order to having meaningful, caring relationships with other people, you have to be completely honest all the time. Because if anything happens for which you find out that person wasn't being upfront, it's difficult to ever believe them again.

 Humm. 

Her, "Honey, do these pants make my ass look big? "  Me, "No honey, you look great!"  You, " No honey, your ass makes those pants look big."

for me, it's a matter of not only intent but rationale.  if someone lies to me because they're afraid i'm going to judge them - well, i just haven't proven myself yet.  if someone lies to cover up some injury they've done to me, that's different.

i guess i have to look at my own reasons for lying (because--c'mon--we all do).  i'm pretty honest with people i'm close to, especially about important things, but i do tell little lies for various reasons: self-protection, laziness, not wanting to offend, etc.

Fortius is deffo my new hero. I needed a good laugh. XD

Yeah, I lie about little stuff to make people feel better sometimes, but most often than not I am blatantly honest.

Original Post by pgeorgian:

for me, it's a matter of not only intent but rationale.  if someone lies to me because they're afraid i'm going to judge them - well, i just haven't proven myself yet.  if someone lies to cover up some injury they've done to me, that's different.

i guess i have to look at my own reasons for lying (because--c'mon--we all do).  i'm pretty honest with people i'm close to, especially about important things, but i do tell little lies for various reasons: self-protection, laziness, not wanting to offend, etc.

Excellent post. Everybody lies. I'm a pretty honest blunt person, but there are times when lying is the only option. A good example would be my MIL saying to me it's so good to hear from you. She expects me to say the same thing back to her. I AM NOT GOING TO TELL HER THE TRUTH. I will instead say, It's so nice to hear from you too. Or I'll tell her thanks for coming, when I don't mean it.

Yep. We all tell lies (little and big) to save peoples' feelings. Pg is absolutely correct. It's all about the intent.

Original Post by trhawley:

Her, "Honey, do these pants make my ass look big? " 

 I hate that I could never break myself of that habit.

Original Post by kathygator:

Original Post by trhawley:

Her, "Honey, do these pants make my ass look big? " 

 I hate that I could never break myself of that habit.

I've never asked that of anyone. I've been quite a few different weights in my life. I know when my ass looks big and when it looks scrumptious.

Original Post by trhawley:

Original Post by tincognito:

I don't screw around with people. I want the facts and the truth from them 100% of the time, because even if it hurts you, that's exactly what I will tell you and I don't see why I should recieve any less from you.

In order to having meaningful, caring relationships with other people, you have to be completely honest all the time. Because if anything happens for which you find out that person wasn't being upfront, it's difficult to ever believe them again.

 Humm. 

Her, "Honey, do these pants make my ass look big? "  Me, "No honey, you look great!"  You, " No honey, your ass makes those pants look big."

There's also a matter of HOW you say it. How about "They're a bit unflattering, why not pick out a nicer pair?" or something like that.

I agree with hkellick and trhawley's assertions. Stating something you deliberately know to be untrue, is a lie if it is done with the intent to make someone believe the untruth. (sarcasm doesn't count because it's spoken in such a manner as to make it clear the speaker does not actually believe it's true)

Deception is also an attempt to mislead someone by omitting information or telling a partial truth to imply something, for example "I wasn't at John's house last night" to imply that you and John aren't having an affair. The rest of the truth may be that you weren't at John's house because the two of you hooked up at the motel instead, but you conviently leave that part out of the story. Deceptive, yes, but you haven't outright told a lie.

The other type of omission is just done out of sensitivity. Examples might be buying someone a gift but not mentioning that you found it for half-price, or not letting someone know you personally find them unattractive, because what purpose would that serve?

Original Post by moonikins:

Original Post by kathygator:

Original Post by trhawley:

Her, "Honey, do these pants make my ass look big? " 

 I hate that I could never break myself of that habit.

I've never asked that of anyone. I've been quite a few different weights in my life. I know when my ass looks big and when it looks scrumptious.

No matter how much self-help empowerment crap I absorbed, I could still not resist the 'How do I look?' on my way out the door.

Not all lies are created equal! In general I advocate honesty, but there are times when the better part of valour and kindness prevails. For instance, I'm not hugely concerned when my children lie to me about a chore -- that's not a big deal. What is a big deal is lying about things that really hurt someone else or are intended to hurt someone else or I know will hurt the individual lying about whatever it is they are lying about. It's all about the scale of the thing-- Lying about oh, say, finding weapons of mass destruction as opposed to lying about having sex with an intern.

 

Original Post by kathygator:

Original Post by moonikins:

Original Post by kathygator:

Original Post by trhawley:

Her, "Honey, do these pants make my ass look big? " 

 I hate that I could never break myself of that habit.

I've never asked that of anyone. I've been quite a few different weights in my life. I know when my ass looks big and when it looks scrumptious.

No matter how much self-help empowerment crap I absorbed, I could still not resist the 'How do I look?' on my way out the door.

Ha,  when i ask "how do I look" it's because 9 times out of 10 I think I look hot, and actually my underwear is up over my shirt or my hair is all messed up in the back.  I'm really bad at the whole CHECK THE MIRROR! game

Lying is something you shamefully can not make yourself admit to.