"I have no control"

Recently I was talking to a woman I know from church, a classic yo-yo dieter who has regained more weight with each successive weight loss. She was saying that she felt that with certain foods, she had no control whatsoever, and halfway suspected that the devil was controlling her instead. So she decided to just give up all the stuff she used to binge on, and that in this she had found the answer to permanent weight loss (she just started this, so it remains to be seen whether it truly is the answer or not).

That got me thinking, is there such a thing as having no control over food? Or is it the result of restrictive dieting, and labeling foods as "bad" or off-limits? I thought about it and realized that up until I started dieting in my teens (didn't need to but had a traumatic event happen) I was a good example of an intuitive eater. My parents generally had healthy food around and made well-balanced meals, but we also had Oreos, Cheez-its and the like. I never once ate more than a serving or two, and if I had taken, say, three cookies and felt full on two, I just put one back. A newly opened package was not a threat to me.

Of course in my teen years and beyond, anything with sugar or fat was off-limits to me. I would binge on these foods when I got a chance because a) I was starving and b) telling myself I couldn't have them made them irresistible.

Right now I'm at a healthy weight and I'm trying not to see any one particular food as bad or evil. I don't want to have trans fats, or a lot of refined sugar or flour, but I've been able to have stuff in the house (even cake!) and not binge on it. I attribute it partly to eating the calories that my body needs, so I'm not as vulnerable. I guess I don't see how putting foods into classifications of good or evil can help make a permanent change. I don't pretend to have this all figured out - it's very much in the beginning stages for me - but I have a feeling if I considered certain foods "binge foods" and never trusted myself around them, I would be saying that I had no control and that these foods controlled me. Which I don't think is true.

Sorry, I know this is a really long post. Anyone have any thoughts on this?

I would definitely agree that eating habits start with your parents.  My parents love food and love to cook as well.  I would say that generally their portion sizes are generous and their cooking style is traditional American, not healthy.  My mom is constantly practicing fad diets that she never sticks to and my dad is now diabetic.

I am slim because I am conscious of what I eat, but fight a desire to binge every time I'm around junk food.  I hate to blame my parents, but I feel like they've taught me to put food on a pedastol.  Is there any way to unlearn what I learned growing up?  I don't have a problem with my weight, but I want the desire to binge to go away. 

I am thankful for the fact that I am aware of this and that one day I will be able to give my children a healthy outlook on eating. 

There's all kinds of self-control we apply daily....  The control not to push the pedal to the metal and zip down the road at 100mph.   The control not to strangle your next-door neighbour when she 'accidentally' zaps your prize petunias with weedkiller.  

I think a lot of us have favourite foods that, once we start we find it tough to limit to a small amount.  I don't think that's being 'out of control' (or that dear old Satan is involved LOL!) ... just human.   And if you know what those foods are you can opt to buy them less often - problem solved.  If you go eliminating great swathes of food and calling them 'bad' then that's a way of saying that you are out of control.   That there is no happy medium so you're going for total abstinence.  Never is a long time.  Usually, it's unrealistic so the person that's said 'I'm never eating refined sugar and flour again' ends up at a birthday party, enjoys a piece of cake and then feels like a total failure.   The person who is in control, on the other hand, tells themselves 'I'm going to eat less refined sugar and flour'... and then enjoys a piece of birthday cake without being wracked with self-reproach.

I think 'control' is about having standards but accepting that there can be departures from those standards.  Balanced imperfection.

Thanks for the replies! I think parents can definitely play a role. Mine were pretty healthy around eating (until my mom started to go on various diets when I was a preteen and I would end up drinking nasty protein shakes, or eating diet muffins because they were "good for me").

gi-jane - LOL I don't think Satan is involved either. Some people at my church really do talk like that. I agree that saying that you are never going to have something sets you up to be disappointed in yourself when you end up having it.