Out of Control!

...that's ME! I am completely, 100% out of control.

Quick recap: Last year, I lost about 15-20 pounds -- putting me around 115 -- the not-so-healthy way (natural, but stress-induced lack of appetite; granted, I looked great!). Around Christmastime, when I started gaining a little back, I was okay with it, but decided it was probably time to make more of a concious effort to calorie-count and go to the gym. No real loss has happened, and all through the month of March '08 I was pretty much stuck at 127ish (I'm 5'3", goal weight 120-125ish or whenever I can fit into a particular pair of goal pants, lowest weight 110, highest weight 150).

For some reason, in April, something clicked...and my eating has been severely OUT OF CONTROL for the whole month. I've gained back up to 137...it's definitely all "true" fat, because I'm regularly eating 2700ish calories a day...when I burn about 1900-2000/day. I'm logging everything pretty religiously, but that doesn't seem to be a deterrent AT ALL!

My pants and underwear (what an awful feeling that one is!) are noticeably tighter (especially as 10 pounds makes quite a difference on a short person)...and I can't seem to get myself to care!! My wedding is this summer, and I feel like I am going to be a blimp and can't help it...I feel totally defeated, but can't seem to work up enough frustration/energy to change.

Has this happened to anyone else? Any words of wisdom and/or a kick in the bum? I'm so sick of it!

And with that, I took another bite of pizza :(

You just need to turn it off and start fresh- Drink TONS and TONS of water and eat healthy just for 1 day and that will motivate you to get back on track.  I am 5'7" and very small boned and am at 124- I am usually 119- my jeans don't fit and I binge eat- I am on day 4 of eating well and doing yoga and running and already feel better after just 4 days- you can do it!

I am just going to give jrise a giant "DITTO".  I am also 5' 7" and 124.  I lost 30 pounds from Sept. - Jan. through this website and walk/running on my treadmill and some weight lifting.  I was down to 121 and then I hit this wall where everything I had learned and worked hard for meant nothing to me.  I wouldn't say I "binge" in the ED way but I know better than to eat with the habits I was using. 

Fortunately, I only gained back 5 pounds.  I tried a couple of times to get back on track but always would fail within a couple days.  I had corrected so many bad cravings with my new healthy eating habits and they all had returned so I had to start over from square one. 

I did as jrise saids, I drank a ton of water (I bought a special water bottle for it so I could keep track of my progress), I used the Biggest Loser secret of chewing sugar free Extra gum :) and I started tracking religiously again.  Then it is all one day at a time.  It took several starts and restarts before I finally got back on track again.  I'm still healing those awful habits but that is the price I pay. 

My advice is not to beat yourself up because that will fuel the fire.  Talk to yourself like, "for some reason this is too hard for me right now.  I will not panic.  I lost it once and I can lose it again."  Then try to "stop the bleeding" wherever possible.  Even a few calories avoided here and there are stepping stones back. 

To your health!

Tracy

Thanks for the support!

The "stop the bleeding" thought is a good one!  I suffer from pretty black and white thinking, so I know I will often eat just because I've already eaten and "today's shot," or whatever.  At least until my mum leaves, I'll try to be better about giving up some calories while I can and trying to feel good about it, and then start getting back in the swing of things...I feel so icky!

I'm 5'2 and I went from 105 to 130 in less than a year, so I know how it feels. Before, I had never broken 120! At first at 130, I had convinced myself I was fine, even though everybody around me had noticed (I had gained nothing but fat as well). It took a lot of looking in the mirror, and feeling the fat layers squish themselves before I finally said, hey, I DO need to lose weight, this isn't attractive. Now I'm wavering around the 122 mark, and I feel a LOT better. My goal is 115, but I feel so much better right now I don't think I'd be upset with myself if I maintained here. But I figure 115 is going to feel even better, so I'm going to stick with it for a few more months.

But I'm pretty sure that since I used to eat crap and drink more crap, most of the weight I lost was water weight and that initial crap weight. And like I said, I feel so much better. Just think, all you have to do is cut out the junk food, and you could replace it with healthier substitutes, and you'd feel that much better. It's an easy way to just start the change.

Also the chewing gum thing is huge- I chew packs a day no joke- it helps- I also can not refuse sweets- cookies especially so I eat Trader Joe's chocolate dog and cat cookies and take 3 or 4 handfuls of them only 1.5 grams of fat and 110 calories per serving- not great to be eating handfuls of them but better then 20 oreos!! Also I start the day great and then am craving carbs, sweets, and then breakdown later in the day- try and be strong- I am trying!

If you really feel like you have uncontrollable hunger-you just can't stop eating.  It may be worth going to the doctor.

I started getting crazing eating cravings.  Just couldn't seem to eat enough sometimes.  I gained 15pnds.  I chalked it up to lack of control, maybe stress, but when I started noticing my hair thinning, mood swings, and my skin getting bad, I went to the doctor. 

It turns out hormones were out of wack.  My body was producing the right levels.

They put me on medication and everything has changed.  I've been able to control my appetite, and I've taken off 6 of the pounds I gained.  Still working on the rest-but it feels so much better to be back in control of my body.

Anyway-point being, if you really don't feel like yourself, check it out.  If you think it is just disipline-Good luck! 

what if it's not hunger.  once i start eating i have trouble stopping especially if it's really good i have to finish it until it's gone. 

if you don't mind me asking kehudson, what meds did they put you on for your hormones?  and congrats on losing some of those weight.  it's always good to hear some success the members here achieve. 

I don't know why I always feel surprised (pleasantly!) when I get so much support on CC!  You guys are SO awesome :)  I have been to the doctor's recently to check on my thyroid specifically, as hypothyroidism runs in my family, but my levels are on the underactive side of normal, if that makes sense -- not enough to warrant medication, anyhow.  Although kehudson, I would also be interested (if you're comfortable sharing) in what your doctor found out when you went and what he/she put you on.

I'm glad to hear others can relate and will definitely try all your tips!  It's a great idea just to start replacing all the junk with good stuff before worrying about getting lower in calorie intake (though obviously that will happen naturally when I'm not eating candy all day)...that is job one.  And I will try to forget about the M&Ms I ate for breakfast this morning.

I am right there with you...5'3", weighed in at about 142 in November, and that was the heaviest I'd been since I was 19.  AND my wedding is this summer as well (in August).

I was going to the gym, but when you work full time and go to school full time and buy a house and...blah blah blah, I know everyone has their laundry list!...the gym is stupid--SOOO stupid...so at the bottom of my list of priorities, if for no other reason than it never made me feel good to go there and feel like a sow cow because the only people who go to the gym all the time are the people who don't need to.  Like I have time for that kind of thinking/feeling, driving, commitment, everything related to the gym!

Not bragging by saying this--just stating fact--but I'm now down to 126-128 (depending on the day, you know...), and I'm hoping to lose a minimum of 5 more pounds before my dress alteration/fitting session in early June.  And in my opinion, I owe it to the Weight Watchers FlexPoints system.  I've been on WW now for a month, and I went from 135-ish to 127-ish (I'm splitting the difference of my range).  I've dropped pants sizes from an 8-10 to a 2-4.  My underwear size even dropped for the first time in about 10 years!!

I love WW because I can still eat junky junk food and not feel bad about myself or feel like I flubbed--it's all about checks and balances.  I use an excel spreadsheet and this site along with another that's great at giving the points for popular restaurant items to track my points consumption, and I try really hard not to exceed my weekly point totals (though with 2 birthdays and a wedding this last month, I probably definitely did more than once!).  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the gym is not important.  Lord knows I will start going again 3 times per week after school is out in May--some "problem" areas definitely need some tone!  It will feel good to have my weight under control before I start, though.

For me, I'm pleased as punch.  I don't think WW is hard, and I still eat fast food twice a week and can stay pretty close to my ideal points consumption.  I think it's a great tool,  especially when what you've got to lose is vanity weight for the most part (137 at 5'3" is not life-threatening or anything--I'm willing to bet my right arm you look so much better than your eyes let you see!!!).

If you want to learn more, let me know!  I'm happy to pay it forward and share my tools!

Have a great day!

keeljm, thanks so much -- you are such an inspiration!  And a special WOW to your change in dress size; that is absolutely phenomenal!!  I would love to hear more about how you accomplished such great weight loss.  And yes, because my issue is pretty much "vanity pounds" (although Lord knows I'd feel so much healthier without these last 10!), it can be difficult to get going, or to convince myself that I need to make changes. 

P.S. My wedding is in August too!

I know the feeling of needing self control. I went on a really good diet and lost alot of weight. I started gaining it back and couldnt figure out  why. After I gained back all the weight I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and I am now taking 100mg of Levothyroxin. I am still having a time losing weight do to female trouble and I went through a time of giving up and I tried to convience myself that I would be happy as long as I could fit in my size 18s. Figured out really quick that I am not ever going to be happy in plus size clothes and just so you know I now am in a size 20 cause I got depressed and just kept eatting. I am now trying to take control of myself. I just wish I would have come around earlier would still be in 18s and working my way down. I just made a appointment with a female specialist and hopefully I will get my problems fixed cause I am tired of carrying all this extra weight. I hope you find what has caused you to eat out of control so you don't find yourself writing this to someone else

 

One thing you could try is taking vitamin supplements with your meals, as well as drinking Propel. I noticed that a lot of my own excess eating stems from lack of nutrients... which is the basis behind cravings.

Also, studies have shown that most people confuse thirst with hunger. Sometimes your "hunger feeling" means that your body is dehydrated... so always drink something before you decide to eat. Drinking teas, Propel, water, etc... are all viable options. Stay away from carbonation... it makes you bloated.

If you're looking for motivation, one thing you could try is eating completely healthy and exercising for about an hour each day for 3-5 days. After those couple days, take a day off from that routine and see how crappy you feel. Eating healthy foods and exercising regularly brings your body's various levels up to par, which will give you more energy and make you feel 100% better.

But I definitely suggest the vitamins.

"I know the feeling of needing self control. I went on a really good diet and lost alot of weight. I started gaining it back and couldnt figure out  why. After I gained back all the weight I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and I am now taking 100mg of Levothyroxin. I am still having a time losing weight do to female trouble and I went through a time of giving up and I tried to convience myself that I would be happy as long as I could fit in my size 18s. Figured out really quick that I am not ever going to be happy in plus size clothes and just so you know I now am in a size 20 cause I got depressed and just kept eatting. I am now trying to take control of myself. I just wish I would have come around earlier would still be in 18s and working my way down. I just made a appointment with a female specialist and hopefully I will get my problems fixed cause I am tired of carrying all this extra weight. I hope you find what has caused you to eat out of control so you don't find yourself writing this to someone else"

 

Oh gawd... I just got my blood drawn to be tested for hypothyroidism and anemia. T_T

Original Post by liora513:

keeljm, thanks so much -- you are such an inspiration!  And a special WOW to your change in dress size; that is absolutely phenomenal!!  I would love to hear more about how you accomplished such great weight loss.  And yes, because my issue is pretty much "vanity pounds" (although Lord knows I'd feel so much healthier without these last 10!), it can be difficult to get going, or to convince myself that I need to make changes. 

P.S. My wedding is in August too!

 liora--I sent you a message about this (I didn't think WW would appreciate me giving away their program for the whole world to read!)...thanks for the kind words!  Feel free to get in touch with me again if you'd like to talk more...

Have a great weekend!

Maybe it's nerves, you said you're getting married in the summer.

For me that would cause uncontrolled eating, because that is huge.

Don't be too tough on yourself, get through one day at a time.....YOU CAN DO IT!

THANKS, all!  These past few days have been MUCH better (except for the Chipotle burrito I just had for lunch!); I've been eating completely minimal sugar but allowing myself unlimited amounts (within reason) of veggies and most fruits.  I have to say, I feel about 100x healthier!  The weekend might be a little harder, but I'm trying to stay positive.

carbonpirate -- hope you found out everything is a) normal or b) easily treatable!  And the vitamins were a fabulous suggestion...I've been doing much better on taking those recently, too.