How do you cope with growing old?
I used to care about gaining weight, but now I realise that even if I gain unwanted flab, I can simply lose it again. But now it seems I've developed an intense fear of growing old to fill the void.
I usually don't eat junk food but I ate a large slice of a homemade pumpkin pie my brother made today. Afterwards I started panicking, not because of the calories, but because sugar and flour and margarine are meant to increase the effects of aging. Now I'm worried about cellulite, blemishes wrinkles, age spots and all the nasty things associated with aging.
When I think about it, I didn't even enjoy the pie that much. I saw him making it. He used at least 700g of margarine! Yet I felt obligated to eat it because he'd spent all afternoon baking. As soon as the spoon hit the empty plate, I felt guilty and concerned. Right now I'm berating myself for undoing all my healthy eating. All the stuff I've read about sugar being a toxin is swirling around my head. I certainly won't be eating junk food again soon.
Perhaps I've been too influenced by Nip/Tuck, which I've recently began watching, but I don't see how people cope with aging without resorting to plastic surgery. Already I'm resolved that if I ever get severe cellulite or unsightly saggy skin I'll get surgery.
Woah! I totally get what you mean about being scared to grow old. Just don't let it consume you. Sure, some days are scarier than others. I'm 32 and my parents told me that they both shrunk an inch this year. It makes you think, no doubt.
Anyway, I have seen changes in my body and lifestyle. I think if you just laugh with other people about those things, it doesn't seem as damning. My sister and I laugh at our hair turning gray and the stray chin hairs. I call my fiancee "Grandpa" cause he goes to bed so early and he drives slow. It does seem to make you feel better that this stuff happens to everyone.
As far as surgery is concerned, it doesn't seem too extreme anymore for people to get minor work done; botox, a nose job, a mommy makeover. Just don't be one of those people that is so made up that they don't look like themselves anymore. A natural beauty will grow old gracefully if she takes care of herself. Even still, you're allowed to indulge. Don't you think everyone does? Most of the time, use moderation.
I know it's a lot of fun when you feel like you're in the prime of your life, but there are benefits to aging. Don't you feel so much smarter now, than 10 years ago? Aren't you more responsible? Live your life to the fullest so that you don't have haunting regrets (easier said then done sometimes, eh?). Don't fritter away your days worrying about aging. Get out there and live. If it takes over you, consider seeing a doctor about it. It's probably a common fear and they should be able to help you.
Good luck.
Nature's a marvellous thing. One useful aspect is that the older you get the less you really care about the trivial things. Your priorities change as you mature. You see the world a little more clearly, with any luck. When you're 25 you're upset at a bit of cellulite or a grey hair. At 45 you're OK with the cellulite and grey hair because you're more grateful that, unlike your friend you were at school with, you've not just been diagnosed with heart-disease or cancer. The alternative to ageing is dying... so it's a bit of a no-brainer
People who go for plastic surgery as they get older are the ones that still care about the trivial too much. Usually they're the ones that have had nothing going for them their whole life except their looks.... and when the looks fade they find it difficult to adjust. Those of us who have been fairly ordinary looking and who have had to make our mark on the world in other ways probably find it easier.
So my advice would be..... look after yourself as well as you can, stay out of the sun and - most importantly - enjoy life to the full and find ways to develop your personality and achievements beyond what's in the mirror. (Eat the pumpkin pie.... sugar is not 'toxic'.) It's a bit of a cliche but beauty really is much more than skin-deep.
There is nothing wrong with growing up, which is what you are talking about at your age.
I'm 66 and very happy, gray hair, sags and bags and all. I get more pleasure out of life than the pack of whining teens that post here every day. It's so sad to see you all agonizing over things like this.
Sorry I'm not as sympathetic and understanding as our wonderful gi-jane, and I hope a little straight talk will set you straight.
And stop watching that stupid show!
I don't know how old you are, but I am guessing that you are around twenty?
At twenty, I never thought that I would hit forty. I am going to be forty four this year and have never been happier. At forty I learned to be at peace with myself and not to worry about the small things.
If I want a piece of cake or pie I enjoy it. If I want to spend the day in bed I don't worry about what I am not getting done.
I am my own person. I don't hang around people that I don't enjoy being around. I value my true friends and show them by doing small things for them, even if it is just sharing an e-mail.
Enjoy being young because when you turn forty, you won't even remember posting this thread.
Drink green tea. Eat blueberries. Limit coffee. Drink lots of water. Always wear sunscreen. Work out regularly. Don't smoke. Don't drink... too much. Laugh often, don't worry so much, and do whatever makes you happy. Don't regret anything.
There. You should age just fine.
Original Post by clairelaine:
I get more pleasure out of life than the pack of whining teens that post here every day. It's so sad to see you all agonizing over things like this.
Bless you, clairelaine for articulating that!!! 
Original Post by curvesaregood:
I don't see how people cope with aging without resorting to plastic surgery.
Yeah, I'd say you've been way too influenced by that show if you really think this.
I'll be forty in a few years - not having wrinkles or stretch marks wouldn't make my autistic son start talking, make my mother's cancer go away, or provide a way for us to send our boys to college. I cope with physical aging by taking care of myself the best I can with sensible eating and exercise, but engaging nature in hand to hand combat is something that's just not on my priority list (or part of my budget).
Wait a little bit, and you may find and experience things and people in your life that make external appearances a distant concern.
Well, I'm going to be 35 this year, and although that certainly isn't old by any means, it's the oldest I've been, and it does feel a little like something major...whether it is or not is all up to me.
Here's my plan to "cope with growing old"...
Do what I can to keep myself healthy, and know that I've earned every grey hair.... those little lines around my eyes and at the corners of my mouth aren't called 'smile lines' for nothing - and anything that indicates a lifetime of smiling and laughter can't be all bad, right?
Also, I keep in mind a conversation I once had - I was good friends with a co-worker, she was in her 60's and I was in my 20's when we knew eachother, and the topic of growing older came up...she let me in on a little secret....the older one gets, the more 'allowable' one's eccentricities become. Just soemthing to think about ;-)
Original Post by gi-jane:
Original Post by clairelaine:
I get more pleasure out of life than the pack of whining teens that post here every day. It's so sad to see you all agonizing over things like this.
Bless you, clairelaine for articulating that!!!
Seconded, and I am technically a whining teen. :x Personally, I can't wait to grow older. Though people mistake me for older than my years (in apperance) already. Think that may be my height, though.
I'm a biology major and sugar certainly isn't toxic...its one of the most necessary chemicals in life. Even if you don't eat "sugar" your body works very hard to convert whatever you do eat into glucose (sugar) because that is what your body needs to make the energy that sustains you. far from being toxic sugar is good for you. If you eat to much your body converts it to fat to store...but in moderation sugar can be very good for you and not toxic at all.
I don't know how old you are, but judging by your photo you are WAY too young to be worried about getting old sweety... The best way to look after your skin is not to smoke, to drink plenty of water, and to use sunscreen/avoid sunburn. And go easy on the makeup - the more you mess with your skin now, the older it will look later on. Smoking SEVERELY ages your skin, and it's entirely avoidable. Aside from that, relax and enjoy life. Nobody can stay young forever and to be honest, would you really WANT to? The harder you fight natural processes, the more devastating the inevitable results are. Everyone gets old eventually, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. It happens to all of us!
I turned 50 a few months ago. When I was in 3rd grade, I remember thinking that the girls in 8th grade were so old. Age is all relative. HOW we age is up to us (a wee bit). We are all going to age, just like we are all going to die. There is no getting around it. But, if you take care of yourself, you will age gracefully and with wonderful quality of life.
I'd recommend a dose of Naomi Wolf's The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women. Feminism can't yet be dead when we hate ourselves this hard, ladies.
Easiest way to cope is to enjoy life as you go through it. Why suffer and agonize that one piece of pie is going to damage you. Stress is something we get enough of without adding more in there. My husband's grandmother is a key note on that... she laughs, stays active and is only senior lady I know that can knock out hole in 1s on the golf course. She lets herself enjoy life and I think that's why she's still so "young" at her age.
No one wants to get old! That's why we all are here. We might be getting old but at least we do not need to look it. I caught myself today saying in 10 years I'll be 60. We can not stop the clock. I just want to slow it down. This past Christmas while I was putting the tree up It was like Christmas was just here! One day at a time. BYE
The Baby Boomers have paved the way yet again for us. Just look at these lovely ladies who are all 50+. If you ask me 50 looks pretty darned good!!
This post reminds of a saying: "Youth is wasted on the young"
How true that has turned out to be :). There are somethings in life you have no control over, the ageing process is one of them. It is inevitable that you are going to grow old - you cannot stop that. So theres no point worrying about it.
Just focus on living a healthy well balanced life in mind, body and spirit. Because you are not a machine but a human being, and it isn't just the body that matters.
When I turned 30 i thought the world was ending. When I turned 40 I felt like my world was just begining. 10 years made a huge difference in my attitude. At 40 I feel like I can take on anything. I am looking forward to 50 and beyond (the kids will be out of the house, they age me alot). I just want to age gracefully, no surgery (okay maybe a boob lift once I reach my goal). My face is my face. My body will be healthy. I wan't to enjoy a long retirment with my spouse.
What scares me isn't the aging process, but the dying process. Whole nother topic there!
There is nothing wrong with getting older and there is definitely no reason to worry or obsess over it. Growing old is inevitable. We cannot change that. I used to worry about it but I decided that I will not allow myself to think badly of it. There is no reason for me to change who I am because I am no longer 21. I have learned a lot over the years and I am proud of that and what I have accomplished. Be proud of yourself, and all your accomplishments. You can't control getting older but you can control how you look. I promised myself that as the older I get, the harder I would try to take care of myself. That means exercising and not eating a lot of the junk foods I so love to eat. Just enjoy who you are. Your age does not define who you are. If you considered yourself gorgeous and sexy when you were 25, then you still are. Your feelings of you is all that matters. So make yourself happy! Just enjoy life!
I'm getting close to 60. This is the best time of my life. The self-consciousness of youth has evaporated. I have no desire to be younger. And I adore watching my grandchildren grow. Glad I'm healthy to enjoy participating in their lives. Try to enjoy each age as it comes.
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