Interesting story. In our relationship I'm always trying to preserve my shape but my boyfriend is really thin so he has to gain some weight. So I cook for him a lot but I can't eat the same thing as he because I don't want to gain weight. It's tiring and difficult but I think I've used to it.

Omg interesting!!!  I call it the comfy cozy syndrome.  And yes, even I have succumbed to it ugh.  Reining it in and joining forces for better health is the way to go.

kremyy...I'm in the same type of relationship. My boyfriend is super thin so he can pretty much eat whatever he wants...and I can't. It's difficult sometimes, but after a year I'm getting the grasp of things!

I have a really difficult relationship with food, I've just recently gotten into quite a serious relationship with a boy and I'm finding it difficult.

I can't eat in front of many people (I feel judged on my own little rituals of how I eat ect) so when he stays over I'm worried I make him feel unwelcome by encouraging him to leave in the morning because I can't eat breakfast with him there!!

I'm scared about gaining weight now I'm with him, even though he pokes my tummy and says how skinny I am, he works a lot and moves around a lot so is slimmer than me!

Can anyone help? I don't want Couple Syndrome lol!

I have my own name for this syndrome and I call it the Chub Love.  My boyfriend and I also went through this same pattern of weight gain, especially after we moved in together.  He has an naturally slim build but started to get a gut while I had to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe because everything was too small. We realized something needed to change and with that, we both signed up for a gym membership and started going together.  It was easy in the summer when we started, but it definitely became more difficult to get out of the house during the cold, gray, Michigan winter.  We stuck too it after about 8 months we had whipped ourselves back into shape.  I'm actually thinner now than when we started dating and I couldn't feel better. We don't actually do the same workout routine but it's the simple act of going to the gym together that helps.  

Love your story. It is true that we do forget, specially in beginning of relationship, how important is to keep in the shape and stay healthy. When me and my husband met we were in decent shape but after we moved and got married, two years later, we both gained 20 and plus pounds. After we came back from vacation in Europe, we realized that we were way overweight (especially per European standards) and we had to do something about it. Since we have different schedule, I had to hit the gym at work and my husband took on major projects at home. One year later his BMI is 19ish and my 21 or less. We feel great, we look great and our relationship has also improved. We don't go out to eat and cooking dinner is an enjoyment to us. Logging in our recipes is a cool feature on this web. I have to add that our friends and family were skeptic in beginning when I told them about the Calorie Count web, but now they see how successful we are and they are talking about it now. I hope that people like us inspire more couples and they go down to road to success. Thanks for sharing.

I have the same problem as Kristi... My boyfriend is really, really slim, I used to be very slim at just 7st 10lb when we met and never really had to worry about food, but since he's moved in I eat what he eats and have gained a stone in 10 months.  So, we've made a concerted effort over the last month to only eat low calorie foods like fish, soya and natural sugar produce and have resigned up to the gym and go 4 times a week.  I don't want to be fatter than he is because that would look ludacris, so whiltst I'm the same size, it's time to nip any new bad habits in the bud.  My energy levels are very high despite only having around 500 - 700 kcal a day and by the end of the day, after exercise, all consumed kca.  It's because the right things are being consumed.

I've lost 5lb and am on track to losing the last 5lb for the end of this month.  Calorie count has really raised my awareness on underconsumption of minerals and over consumption sugars and the necessity for regular exercise to counter the kcals eaten each day.  It's essential for maintaining weight.

My story's a little different than all the rest. My partner does the cooking and is not the least bit interested in his weight. I am trying to lose the 30 lbs I gained since I've been with him, mainly as a result of his cooking, and it's difficult because he chooses what we'll eat and prepares it. I've encouraged healthier foods but it doesn't last. He likes to fry almost everything and says because he's using olive oil, it's "good" fat so it can't be bad for us. I'm eating smaller portions than I used to but can't complain about what he makes or he gets offended. I have occasionally made our dinners, but being retired, he enjoys the cooking aspect as a hobby and something to fill his time. So mainly I prepare my own breakfasts and lunches using what works for me, but dinner is a struggle. 

My problem is finding the time to work out and to date.  I’m a single mom and have a full time job.  Plus I am usually taking classes of some sort, though not always full time.  It is hard enough for me to find time when I don’t have my daughter to work out a couple days a week, let alone finding time to go on a date.  So I feel guilty if I skip a workout to go on a date because I usually can’t make it up.  Sounds like I’m too scared of couples syndrome to even get in a relationship lol!  And there is not a whole lot I think I can do about it unless there is some way to add more hours to the day?!

     That's a great article. It is so important to have the support of your significant other when you are trying to change your lifestyle and lose weight. I remember in high school I had a boyfriend who was always trying to sabotage my efforts. He would eat my favorite fast food in front of me. It was extremely frustrating. After about a month of this, I finally dumped him, and the weight (unfortunately I gained the weight back, plus some). Since about junior high I have constantly struggled with my weight. I had the yo-yo habit down to a tee. Because I am now much older and wiser, I decided it would be a good idea to start eating healthy, and the weight loss would will follow. Calorie counter really opened my eyes. It is such a great tool!!

     After re-connecting with my college boyfriend (20 years later), my eating habits took a turn for the worse. We loved to eat out, and did so about 4 times a week. Because of that, we both gained some weight (me more than him, of course). What I love about him is that even though he does not have that much weight to lose, he really supports me with mine. Veggies are not his thing, but he at least tries everything I cook. He now uses skim milk, instead of whole, and doesn't eat junk food in front of me, nor does he want me to buy any to keep in the house (he knows in a moment of weakness I may chow down, if it is available. Out of sight, out of mind). The funniest thing is he makes junk food runs while I am asleep, I always find the evidence the next day, which makes me laugh! It is that kind of effort that really makes me appreciate him. It would be nice if he could exercise with me, but because of his back problems, it is not an option. He does encourage me to do so without him, just so I will feel better about  myself.

     Would I be successful without his support, YES, but it sure makes it nice to know someone is on your side, and in the long run that is the most important thing. I really have a very long road ahead, but am confident that I will be successful, not just for now, but for the rest of my life because I am determined to live a healthy lifestyle, and have the love and support of my wonderful fiancé.

The summer before I met my future wife in college I dropped about 30 lbs in a 3 month period and was committed to a healthy diet.  When we started dating she was at a healthy weight but still kept some bad eating habits.  Eventually, those small bad habits re-energized all of mine.  Next thing you know our worst indulgences converged and drove us off a cliff.  I gained all 30 lbs back and she had gained about 20-25.  

We weren't even thinking about our weight until we were at a supermarket and agreed on a bag of mini chocolates.   Thats when the seriousness of our disorder hit us.  Since then she lost about 30 lbs and I have lost the same thirty by calorie counting and exercise.  I could still lose another 20 though while she is fine at her weight.

I think that sometimes it's not so well balanced as your story.  My fiance is blessed (and cursed) with a super fast metabolism, I am not.  When we first started dating, three years ago, I found myself eating exactly like him (large portions of greasy, fatty foods).  I went from going out 3-4 nights a week to staying inside most of the time and completely stopped exercising.  After a year, I gained about 35 pounds.  I wasn't really surprised, I could tell my clothes weren't fitting me anymore, but I was still in a bit of denial about it.  It wasn't until I went to the doctor and saw my weight on a scale that I finally decided to do something about it.  In the past two years, I've managed to drop the weight I gained, plus an additional 5 pounds (woohoo!).  It's taken a lot of discipline, calorie counting and a couple of plateaus to reach my goal, but it's also taken a lot of rewiring of my thinking to make sure the weight stays off.   Now exercise to maintain, and to make sure I'm in good physical shape and while I don't strictly count calories, I've learned how to judge portions correctly so I don't overeat anymore.  I've also been helping my fiance to eat more nutritionally balanced meals and someday I hope he will start joining me in exercising, but I know I can't wait around for that.

Original Post by: jcgwill

My story's a little different than all the rest. My partner does the cooking and is not the least bit interested in his weight. I am trying to lose the 30 lbs I gained since I've been with him, mainly as a result of his cooking, and it's difficult because he chooses what we'll eat and prepares it. I've encouraged healthier foods but it doesn't last. He likes to fry almost everything and says because he's using olive oil, it's "good" fat so it can't be bad for us. I'm eating smaller portions than I used to but can't complain about what he makes or he gets offended. I have occasionally made our dinners, but being retired, he enjoys the cooking aspect as a hobby and something to fill his time. So mainly I prepare my own breakfasts and lunches using what works for me, but dinner is a struggle. 

     Ooh, that's a tough one!! I guess the only thing you can do is cut down on portions (which you have), and maybe exercise more?? Not sure if that is an option or not. It would stink to cut out too many calories on breakfast and lunch, just so you don't go way over limit with dinner. Not to mention the fact you are probably starving with the smaller portions. Frying is a bigger issue altogether. I don't envy you at all. I hope it works out for you.

I find this interesting but don't think it necessarily only applies to romanitc relationships. I am lucky my current boyfriend and i met at the gym so it is easy to keep our focus. However, here's the interesting part... I have become really close with my personal trainer and his girlfriend and constantly going out with him is not a good thing lol. He eats fairly healthy but he does not have to watch what he eats so everytime we are out there is dessert and all the bad stuff lol. I fell into it for a few months wehre him and I would go on lunch dates and i would eat junk with him. thank god I realized it and pushed back to my healthy foods lol. i think I did gain about 10lbs before changing back again tho.

Wow! It was the same thing with my partner and I. I had been relatively in shape but was living in a very stressful environment (and stress keeps weight off for me) before my relationship. When we met and started going out, not only did we wine and dine a lot but I also was happy. I gained over 45lbs over two years. I was shocked when I stepped on the scale again. Its a challenge because she is not on the same page of weight loss as I am, but respects that I am trying to create a healthy lifestyle for myself; and I think it is  rubbing off on her too!!

Fat and Happy!  I know this feeling.  When I was post divorce, working an extra job and just all around depressed, I got down to 160lbs (Divorce Skinny for me).  I then met a wonderful man, eventually married and 4 years later I was 205lbs!  So definitely fat, but not very happy about it.  I'm down to 192 after using calorie counters for about a month and my wonderful husband is very supportive and works out with me twice a week which is great for both of us.

I've put on 20lbs since my husband and I have been dating/married (the final 8lbs within the last 6 months or so).  While he's supportive of me, he doesn't eat healthy, which drives me crazy.  I want to make veggie stir fry, so he says he'll just cook his own dinner and eats Maple Baked Beans with toast.  So then there's the guilt that I'm a terrible wife that won't cook meals that my husband would love.

He does try to encourage me to go and work out... but I HATE being told what to do.  Whenever he tries to tell me to go to the gym because it will make me feel better, I just want to go curl up in bed to spite him.  (Yes, I know I'm weird; but that comes with being incredibly stubborn)

I'm not sure how to work around this one. I do eventually end up at the gym; but I have to slam the door on the way out.  It's the meal thing that bothers me.

i love this! thanks for sharing your experience strength and HOPE! God bless. 

I always called this "relationship weight". Not only do I go through this, but I've watched all my friends go through the same thing. We've all lost weight in between relationships, and slowly gain it back once we're in one and comfortable. It's difficult when one the most common ways to date someone is over a plate of food. I gained about 10 pounds this past year, and my boyfriend at least 15-20 pounds. He was a bit too skinny to start with, but he was pretty upset when he started noticing the results of his weight gain. He's actually been working out now and eating better, but I'm having a difficult time getting back into the zone. When I first met him it was so easy since I was only making meals for myself. Now that we shop and cook together, it's difficult for me to eat the way I was before. I'm so not happy with the way I look/feel right now. 

To: thegoodpotato-

I feel you there!  I hate it when my husband says "why don't you go do your exercise videos, it will make you feel better".  arggg is what I have to say about that!  I totally hate being told what to do, even if it's something I actually want to do.  So I feel like I end up not working out just to spite him!  Sad, but true.  My big issue here is that my husband will say "Man we need to work out" but then he never sticks to it.  I'm the one that has to make us get up earlier in the morning and try to pry him out of bed.  He's all talk and no action I guess... 

How wonderful, wonderful, wonderful to share a love and partnership and togetherness like that. I hope you continue to enrich each other's lives! Count your blessings and thank you for sharing.

Read today's blog (Friday, 8/6) about the Couple's Syndrome.  Erik, Calorie Count co-founder, talks about his and girlfriend Heather's journey around their weights.

Original Post by: kremyy

Interesting story. In our relationship I'm always trying to preserve my shape but my boyfriend is really thin so he has to gain some weight. So I cook for him a lot but I can't eat the same thing as he because I don't want to gain weight. It's tiring and difficult but I think I've used to it.

I actually had the same problem with my ex-boyfriend ! quite hard to deal with, seriously.

Thegoodpotato and Laurapeoples1- I'm so pleased I'm not the only who gets annoyed when their partner suggests doing things I know I should!! Silly really but there you go!

I have lost fitness rather than gained weight since being with my boyfriend. He is one of these people who eats rubbish, drinks, smokes and does no deliberate exercise, then when we go hiking he can climb a mountain without breaking a sweat!! I want to eat more healthy food, but we wont entertain it so I either have to make 2 different dinners or end up eating what he is having. He'd rather go hungry than eat veggies!

Very frustrating.

A very interesting commentary on the importance of your mate in your own healthy living.  My sweet wife lost down to her goal weight.  I, a svelte 80 pounds overweight, never could get on the wagon.  When we vacationed in Florida this summer, I was instrumental in her packing on a few additional pounds...not intentionally, but my eating habits on the trip were just too overwhelming for her to completely resist temptation.

I am happy to report that I am now "on the wagon", determined to eat right and exercise, and it is so much easier on her in her attempts to control her weight.  When it comes to couples, there is rarely a gainer and a loser...you both gain or lose together.

Congrats to all who help their partners lead a healthier life.  It really makes for a happier and more enjoyable life for everyone involved.

I totally understand this!! My boyfriend and I live together as well, and even though we have completely different diets, I still fall into this syndrome category.

I work in an office so I don't get to move much throughout the day. I work out every day and eat a mainly vegan diet (I say mainly because the treats my boyfriend brings into the house are sometimes too tempting.. aah syndrome!) Meanwhile, my boyfriend has a very labour intensive, physical job, so he's constantly working off all the calories he eats.

He's in great shape and I fall off the wagon almost every time he pigs out on crap food in front of me :( ...A good challenge in discipline though!

Original Post by: lala2616

I have a really difficult relationship with food, I've just recently gotten into quite a serious relationship with a boy and I'm finding it difficult.

I can't eat in front of many people (I feel judged on my own little rituals of how I eat ect) so when he stays over I'm worried I make him feel unwelcome by encouraging him to leave in the morning because I can't eat breakfast with him there!!

I'm scared about gaining weight now I'm with him, even though he pokes my tummy and says how skinny I am, he works a lot and moves around a lot so is slimmer than me!

Can anyone help? I don't want Couple Syndrome lol!

Hi lala,

Firstly, I suggest you start by finding a comfort zone with your eating habits. If this is the person you're sharing space with, and maybe eventually a life together, eating and dining together is one of the little joys in life. My favorite times with my boyfriend is when we're discovering a new restaurant somewhere random. Anywho, I know this will likely take a little sacrificing on your part... but be confident that he loves you and even if he find it amusing how you dice your tomatoes, or keep the eggs on a separate plate from the bacon, or even pour milk into your cereal spoon per bite, he will likely love you all the more for it. :)

OK... as far as gaining weight once you're in a relationship~~ It doesn't happen to everyone. Sure, it happens to a lot of people, but it sounds like you're very conscious of your weight, so if you focus (in a healthy way!) to avoiding weight gain, you'll do fine. Be sure you're balancing dinners out, etc. with some time working out, etc.

Good Luck!

This is so true for my last relationship. When we got together, I was about 200lbs at the time and trying to get down to 180. All we ever did when we were together was eat pizza or other unhealthy takeout food and play video games. When I started gaining weight and feeling like crap, I tried to refuse the unhealthy food and he always got pissed off at me. He would always say "Oh sweetie, you're fine. I'm twice your size and you don't see me complaining!", "I like a woman who eats", "Why are you letting society dictate your weight or eating habits?" and other BS like that. When we broke up in February, I weighed 240lbs and I immediately started counting calories and exercising again. I'm back down to 210lbs after 6 months. I'm NEVER going to let a guy break me of my healthy lifestyle again.

My husband is a cook; which adds an extra dimension of difficulty.  Many days he has no interest in cooking at all, others knives and pots are flying and he cooks up a three course meal, and yet others he drags home fast food.  I suppose the worst of it for me is when he dishes up a plate for me of something he just created with me in mind, and even though he is almost half again my size he serves me about one tablespoon less than his.  At least he doesn't get offended if I don't finish the plate--it took me a while to figure that out!

I love your contribution to this site!!!! I will be forwarding this link to my husband. We are in the same situation. After being together 5 years I'm up 30 lbs, and he is up probably 40. We talk about working together to loose it, and you are inspiring us to really do it!

Thank you for sharing your experience!

YES!  My husband and I went through this.  Between dating, engagement, and 2 years of marriage, we each put on 70 lbs!  Now, we've realized it's time to stop spending all our time cuddling, cooking, and laying around.  We had to GET MOVING!  So, we joined a gym and work out together all the time.  We work with a trainer together each week.  Our joint training sessions are my favorite part of the week.  We also plan meals together, cook together, and really encourage each other.  It's nice to know we both love each other no matter what, so we don't have to be self-conscious about our weight goals.  We just support each other and keep going.

laura and cackle - thank goodness there's someone else out there that feels like I do!  It makes me feel like I'm not such a crazy person after all!

It'll make me feel much better about my door slamming and my "I'm never coming back" threats.  :)  (they're always joking threats, but man do I get mad about it!)  ha ha ha.  :D

I always make heavy food for him and I just barely taste them. And I'm vegetarian so most of the time I can't taste the food. Then I put it away from my sight and make some healthy and low-calorie dish. This works for me long ago.

But I have problems with sweet things. I love baking but I was a sugar addict and I had to stop eating really sweet things. Now it's really hard because baking is fun and people are happy when you make nice cookies for them..:). If I bake something I try to eat just a little piece...Sometimes I make cakes that I don't like thereby there is no temptation.(for example I hate vanilla or pudding but my BF loves it)

I've been experiencing couple syndrome for over 3 years now and it has done nothing good for my waist line, in fact I usually outgrow my clothes before I've worn them out.  I've put on over 60 lbs and he has put on a 24.  Life is so unfair.

I think the key is to be in a relationship with someone who cares about their body and who wants both of you to live long healthy lives. My boyfriend and I met at my highest weight (I was nearly 400 lbs) while he was 170 lbs. He's always been supper supportive of me so about two years into our relationship when I told him I wanted to lose weight he was great by being ok with us eating healthier and being more physically active with me. We take long walks several times a week and playing Wii Fit together.

He wasn't that happy at first about us not eating as much meat, but he has found that the healthy diet has brought his energy level to an all time high and is now totally gung-ho about us eating healthy! It's been less than 4 months since starting our new healthy lifestyle and since then, with his support, I've lost 40 lbs. with no sign of stopping or even slowing down until I reach my goal of 150 (or even less depending on how I feel once I reach 150). He's also dropped a little bit of weight (even though he was in great shape to begin with) and we both feel better than we have in years. 

The bottom line is if you are with someone who is holding you back when it comes to getting healthier sit down and talk to them about how important it is for you to obtain a healthy lifestyle. If they love you they will care enough about your health to be supportive. If they aren't on board it's going to be a real struggle. Just don't let them stop you. In the end it's your life and your body and your gift to yourself to get healthy so you can live longer and be happier.

Thanks Healthy Hanna!  Great advice.

We could both stand to lose 10 lbs. I'm actively trying to get in shape while working part time and job hunting so that I can focus on maintaining rather than losing weight when I'm fully employed again. I do most of the shopping, or we shop together, so that helps when we eat in. I gravitate toward Vegetarian meals or fish. He's happy with both, but still goes for meat.  He's told me he eats a lot healthier than he would living alone. One problem we have is eating dinner too late, especially if we cook/BBQ. Sometimes we'll just have Lean Cuisine or Amy's. We often split meals when we go out, usually choosing balanced, healthier options. The biggest challenge is dining out with his teenaged son who often chooses pizza, Mexican or burger places -- and always wants a large popcorn at the movies. He's a great kid, but he's been pretty much allowed to eat what he wants by his parents, and as a stepmother, it's a challenge to feed him sometimes. At least his dad is encouraging him to eat better and try new things (i.e., more fruit and vegetables), too. 

Couples Syndrome is half the reason I'm trying to lose weight in the first place.  I've never been a skinny person, but I never considered myself fat, either, until about a year and a half after my current boyfriend started dating.  I probably put on somewhere between 20 and 30 pounds, and he put weight on too, though not as much.  Neither of us realized we were both encouraging the other to eat unhealthily.  I recently decided that enough is enough which is what led me here, but we are both combating our weight gain in very different ways.

YES! I have definitely experienced this. We just moved in together, and J is a tall, lean shape, while I am tallish and curvy. I gained more weight but since I wasn't in a healthy shape when we began, it is not noticeable. Him, on the other hand, is a different story. Poor fella is complaining about getting a gut, and that his once perfectly-fitting favorite shorts are getting too tight.

I'm putting us on an official diet :)

I always run into this problem! Whenever I'm happy, the pounds pile on, and whenever I'm depressed, they melt away. After my last relationship, I was about 10 pound lighter, mainly because I hated being at home with my (then) boyfriend so I would be at the gym everyday! Upon entering my new (current) relationship, I was finally happy again and actually wanted to spend time with him (what a concept)!  So the pounds, of course, started coming back on. He was a doll and never made any comment, seeing as he was packing them on too with all of the eating out and rich meals I was cooking. But now, a over a year into the relationship and still happy, I made the decision to turn things around. I started here on CC without him really knowing and he saw me on one day. It sparked his interest and now we're kind of doing it together. "Kind of" because he is only partly committed. Either way, I am ecstatic I have finally found a way to be happy AND healthy at the same time!

Every time.  I am the cook of whatever couple I happen to be the other-half of. The few men in my life who COULD cook, did it so well that it made it worse. I find that, when I live alone I tend to be about 20 pounds lighter, on average than when happily or unhappily in love.  I think it comes from wanting to celebrate feeling good by eating and drinking the stuff you wouldn't normally do single.

So how do you lose weight and remain a couple?  Beats me!  We were together over 4 years. We're now separated and I vacillate between a BMI of 26-27. Its the heaviest of my life. I used to be at 21-23... big difference. His was always a little on the high side, but got more muscular with me. He actually IMPROVED his physique with me. So I assume its my couple's cooking that's done this to me.  

I eat way differently when its just me.  More vegetarian than anything and I only eat when I am really hungry - nobody elses' hunger to concern myself with.  I expect that in a month I will have lost about 10 pounds - I hope anyway.  I've never been single and in my 40's either.  So we'll see. 

Original Post by: mspew

Every time.  I am the cook of whatever couple I happen to be the other-half of. The few men in my life who COULD cook, did it so well that it made it worse. I find that, when I live alone I tend to be about 20 pounds lighter, on average than when happily or unhappily in love.  I think it comes from wanting to celebrate feeling good by eating and drinking the stuff you wouldn't normally do single.

So how do you lose weight and remain a couple?  Beats me!  We were together over 4 years. We're now separated and I vacillate between a BMI of 26-27. Its the heaviest of my life. I used to be at 21-23... big difference. His was always a little on the high side, but got more muscular with me. He actually IMPROVED his physique with me. So I assume its my couple's cooking that's done this to me.  

I eat way differently when its just me.  More vegetarian than anything and I only eat when I am really hungry - nobody elses' hunger to concern myself with.  I expect that in a month I will have lost about 10 pounds - I hope anyway.  I've never been single and in my 40's either.  So we'll see. 

Maybe I should just stick with the skinny guys!

Original Post by: mspew

Original Post by: mspew

Every time.  I am the cook of whatever couple I happen to be the other-half of. The few men in my life who COULD cook, did it so well that it made it worse. I find that, when I live alone I tend to be about 20 pounds lighter, on average than when happily or unhappily in love.  I think it comes from wanting to celebrate feeling good by eating and drinking the stuff you wouldn't normally do single.

So how do you lose weight and remain a couple?  Beats me!  We were together over 4 years. We're now separated and I vacillate between a BMI of 26-27. Its the heaviest of my life. I used to be at 21-23... big difference. His was always a little on the high side, but got more muscular with me. He actually IMPROVED his physique with me. So I assume its my couple's cooking that's done this to me.  

I eat way differently when its just me.  More vegetarian than anything and I only eat when I am really hungry - nobody elses' hunger to concern myself with.  I expect that in a month I will have lost about 10 pounds - I hope anyway.  I've never been single and in my 40's either.  So we'll see. 

Maybe I should just stick with the skinny guys!

LOL Well I'm sure you don't have to just stick with the skinny guys, but perhaps be with someone who cares about and takes care of his body and his health, that way he'll help motivate you both to eat healthy and be more active. :)

My wife and I definitely went through this phase. When we first got together we were just eating and having fun. A few years later, we were struggling to walk through the sand on our favorite beach on the Washington coast. We promptly cut out alcohol and reduced our fast food intake and started walking an hour each day and now 8 years later we are healthier than we've ever been in our entire relationship. 

We run, bike, play frisbee, golf, you name it. It's definitely easier to gain weight with someone else but it's also ALOT easier to lose it with someone else too. She's my lover, my best friend, and my teammate in health. 

The same thing happened to me and my fiance. We have been together for 8 years (since 9th grade). We were both healthy weights and active. He used to work out all the time and so did I. We got our first place together and went out all the time. I noticed I was gaining weight (not much at the time) and was like no big deal. Well over the years I kept gaining and at my highest weight I was 215lbs. I couldn't believe I let myself get that big. Jason had gained about 50 - 70lbs.

Since finding Calorie Count I have started taking my life back and I am currently at 167lbs. I've lost 48lbs and it feels great/ It's been hard but I feel so much better. Jason is on board and just starting. I know we can get back into shape and be healthy and more active.

For any one else out there struggling you are not alone.

I am so happy to see this post. I always thought of it the other way around: that I could only lose weight after a break-up. I lost a lot of weight after my divorce which I thought was due to stress. Now I have my life back in order and started to gain back the kilo's. My new boyfriend is really skinny so it is a problem for both of us when I am that much larger. Anyway, it turned my thoughts around. I can loose weight and don't have to go through an emotional turnmoil to do that. In fact I am really happ right now that i can take control. My boyfriend is really supportive although he can't really understand what it is like. At leadt he enjoys the healthy food I cook and now eats his chocloate out of my sight. 

I am so happy to see this post. I always thought of it the other way around: that I could only lose weight after a break-up. I lost a lot of weight after my divorce which I thought was due to stress. Now I have my life back in order and started to gain back the kilo's. My new boyfriend is really skinny so it is a problem for both of us when I am that much larger. Anyway, it turned my thoughts around. I can loose weight and don't have to go through an emotional turnmoil to do that. In fact I am really happ right now that i can take control. My boyfriend is really supportive although he can't really understand what it is like. At leadt he enjoys the healthy food I cook and now eats his chocloate out of my sight. 

This seems to be pretty common with most people, though I've always been the opposite. When I'm in a relationship I eat a lot healthier than I normally would.

Original Post by: lala2616

I have a really difficult relationship with food, I've just recently gotten into quite a serious relationship with a boy and I'm finding it difficult.

I can't eat in front of many people (I feel judged on my own little rituals of how I eat ect) so when he stays over I'm worried I make him feel unwelcome by encouraging him to leave in the morning because I can't eat breakfast with him there!!

I'm scared about gaining weight now I'm with him, even though he pokes my tummy and says how skinny I am, he works a lot and moves around a lot so is slimmer than me!

Can anyone help? I don't want Couple Syndrome lol!

you have two relationships then. You need to figure out a way to break out with food. You two can only be friends. Imagine food being one of those fruit of the loom characters and then go through the messy interactions of breaking up. Food is abusing you only because you let it. Food is cheating on you, mainly because you care. Food does not want you for long term, you may be long term if you go this route. Food is not that into you, it knows you drool over it so it thinks it's way more important than you. You are moving on. And food will be happy for you.