crazy other people

Someone just sent me a friend request and message.

This person's profile says they want to lose weight (I think about 20-30 pounds?) by eating no more than 800 calories a day.

I feel slightly annoyed. WHO DOES THAT!!! "Let me message the anorexic girl so I can ask for tips on how to restrict my intake to an unhealthily low level! Oh- wait she's recovering - oh wel!! She won't mind..."

I do mind. And I think people like that are even sicker than I am.

Do they really honestly expect a genuine reply? I mean really! Like I would ever help someone else starve themselves. I wouldn't want to inflict this illness upon my worst enemy, let alone some innocent person I don't even know. I wish they understood that it ran much deeper than a silly little diet. There are no tips, no tricks, it just is what it is - suffering. :grumbles: I don't know if I even want to dignify the message with a response...

If it's a private message you've at least got the luxury that you could respond in a no-hold-barred kind of way.... something you can't do on the message boards.  Give them both barrels.... tell them what you think and don't spare their blushes.   I think you'd find it quite a positive exercise on a lot of levels.... asserting yourself, venting your disgust verbally and confirming why you're the one doing the right thing.   Cathartic, possibly

Or you could just save your breath....

You could easily take Gi-jane's advice. You can also report them, as they're in violation of CC's guidelines.

Yea, maybe it'd benefit them if you let them know how unhealthy that is. 

OMG, how rude.  I definately would report them.  They don't deserve your personal time and reply. (Even a nasty one).   You have come an incredibly long way and worked hard to be where your are.  Congrats and Best Wishes to you.  I hope 2009 turns into your best year ever!

maybe the person does just want to be freinds.?

because "it is what it is" as you said, what the hell do they think they are going to learn.

anyway their diet plans could be triggering for you, being in recovery .. maybe they didn't think about that!

:shrugs: You are right, it was definitly a bit upsetting to me. I don't really want anyone who is trying to purposely restrict and whatnot around me, even virtually. It's just not healthy. And since I am trying to develop a healthier relationship with food, I figure its better that way.

i understand the frustration....and respond or dont or report or dont by however it makes you happy..both doing and not doing are actions...

but perhaps on the note of looking at peoples shortfalls as human.. 800 is simply an extreme that screams sad and desperate...not criminal...simply unhealthy...ive been there.. i remember that feeling as a teen....i assume their note to you has a lot less to do with you as it has it really has to do with them....perhaps another route is to have  compassion and move on....

That is very true. I really just can't understand why anyone would think it was a good idea to message a recovering anorexic, looking for tips and ideas on how to restrict. That is what boggles my mind. I know that it has nothing to do with me - person didn't even know me. I didn't take it personally. Just the idea of someone wanting, looking to follow an anorexic's patterns is upsetting though. I get frustrated by things like that because its such serious illness, and people just think "oh I'll do this for a month or two and everything will be peaches." No. It won't be peaches, and I bet by that time you might have even developed a fear of the little fuzzy fruit. I just wish it was taken more seriously and not looked at as some super diet.

Just remember that to be in the position they are in .. they TOO are suffering.... in desperate times 'misery loves company'.   You dont understand why someone would think it was a 'good' idea to message a recovering anorexic... but when you're ill and desperate.. 'good ideas' arn't really that frequent.

Cut her slack and tell her that you want her to get help.. but you are not strong enough to give it right now.

Well, ignorance is bliss..