Is he crazy about me or just plain Crazy?

My guy is pretty great.  We’ve been seeing each other for a month and a half.   So it’s still pretty early… but he’s doing some stuff that I am really not used to.

• Introduced me to his Mom, Dad and Brother.
• Sends me Txts randomly just to wish me a good night, or hope I am having a good day… with “Miss you”
• Feels bad that he can’t buy me dinner all the time (poor because he has to spend a lot of money on Physical therapy from a motorcycle accident.)
• Apologizes for “taking to long” to get to my house because he had to shave so he didn’t stop by seven-11 like he said he might.
• Apologizes for missing my call
• Always asks me how my day was
• Tries his best to hide his pain when my idea of a short walk to the store is more then his knee can take.
• Didn’t even get mad when I hit his car with mine (put a bit of a scratch on his car… it’s not bad… but STILL.)
• Didn’t even get mad when my puppy ate his 200 dollar shoes…. Well shoe.
  • Well he was mad… but not so much at me.  More frustrated at puppy, and him NOT putting them on the counter.
• Is happy about my hobbies working out well even though he really isn’t into gardening.
• Complements me, From, “you look nice” to “Yeow! Your sexy”
• Says and believes I can take care of myself
• Tells me he’s proud of me when I explain that I did something note worthy, even if he doesn’t really understand what it is that I did.
• Teases me about something silly so we end up having a play fight.
• Thanks me for hanging out with him, and tells me he had a good time with me.
• Is careful to tell me what he is up to but never intrudes on my me time.
  • Yup… I actually know exactly where he is going to be every day for the next 7 days.

So is it love or lunacy?

Oh sure, on the surface all of this looks really sweet… but it kind of makes me wonder.  What if some crazed behavior is lying beneath this gentle exterior? 

The term too good to be true comes to mind.  But at the same time, I wonder if I am just reacting out of fear.  I don't know... I would expect this out of a relationship between two teenie boppers... but he's 29... Im 30? 

Marry him, quick!!

Maybe I'm Jaded but this over exuberance doesn't reek of guilt/bad intentions/mental instability to anyone else?

lol I had the same dilemma!  When I met my guy I was freaked out because he was "so nice....??!??!"  It freaked me out because it seemed like it couldn't be true, or that he had ulterior motives...  but, he was still sooo nice...  I mean I told my mom after 2 months of dating him that I think we're going to get married....

Just try to dig deep without him knowing, find out everything you can, get a lot of info from his friends, see what people who know him say about him...  that's all I knew to do, so hope it helps you!  Just don't let him know you're doing all that or he might think you don't trust him. 

Long story short, I married the guy 7 months after meeting him!  Been married 5 months now!  :)

That's sweet... :)

Original Post by lilsmiter:

Maybe I'm Jaded but this over exuberance doesn't reek of guilt/bad intentions/mental instability to anyone else?

No, lilsmiter, this reeks of the 'honeymoon phase'.

It lasts differently in each couple, but for me only lasted about 7 months or so. After that, he stopped being as considerate and nice and over the top with everything because he settled into the relationship, and was much more comfortable with me.

Once men feel content, and safe in a relationship, they tend to stop TRYING so hard.

I'd enjoy it while it lasts, because in a few months to a year, it'll fade a bit (hopefully not totally though!)

He could just be a nice guy. As long as he isn't a doormat I don't see anything wrong with it... these are mostly things that my boyfriend of 8+months does for me, too. Not exactly, but you know - he's a nice guy! He loves me, and his words and actions show it. But I don't walk all over him and he is not a doormat with other people, either He has a backbone.

I do get where you're coming from. It's the first time I've been treated this well (dare I say, "normally" or as I should be treated?) in a relationship. After the first few weeks/couple months of wooing, I mean.

Relax and enjoy.

(on the other hand, if your radar is going off maybe there is something weird lurking under his surface - is that what your gut is telling you?)

HA lilsmiter, have you stolen my boyfriend?!?

seriously, my boyfriend has literally done ALL of those things (with slight differences, my dog didn't eat his shoe, he ripped the lining out of it, and i didn't hit his car with my car, i whacked it with my skis.)

anyway, at first some of the stuff kinda drove me nuts, like him apologizing for things that it never would occur to me to get upset about.

for example, we'd be on the phone chatting and he would say "ok, i'm gonna get going to go watch <insert tv show>" and i'd say "ok, night!" then he'd text me later and say "sorry for rushing off the phone with you!" and i'd be like "huh?? what are you apologizing for?"

basically, i finally just told him he needed to tone it down, and that i don't get mad over ridiculous things like that, and he has. i'm still not sure if he's the ONE for me, but i am well aware that he is an amazingly considerate and thoughtful boyfriend.

so i don't think your guy is crazy, i think he's just crazy about you!

Sounds like the real deal to me.  Introduced you to his family - he cares about you....which might develop into a permanent relationship.....

Well, He's a marine Corporal so... I don't think he's a doormat type. 

But he says he's someone completely different when he's in uniform, his lance Corporals have a very different opinion of him, then I do.

I agree with akgal. Introducing you to his family is a big step. Guys don't like to do it. So unless he had a look of pre agony when he introduced you to his parents, he must really like you!

I know that I thought my boyfriend was pretty clingy. He would always want to know what I was doing, how my day was, and told me what he did that day (still does). He told me that in both of the serious relationships he had been in, he had been cheated on (ouch!). So now I'm pretty sure I understand his behavior. I remember telling my friends early in the relationship, "Geez, this guy always wants to know about my day," and they'd be like, "Ugh, you're so luckyyy!"

Appreciate how your guy treats you, a lot of women want it. But don't be afraid to nicely ask him to tone it down if he gets too clingy!

Hey Lilsmiter;

This is how any half of a couple is suppose to act.  Unfortunately, it doesn't always happen that way.  He sounds like a very nice man and I'm very happy for you.  His military career may have something to do with his manners, but I would also give some credit to his mother.  I was always told to see how a boyfriend treats his mother, that's how he'll treat you after the "honeymoon" period.

I'm on my second marraige.  We've been married 6 years and at least twice yesterday my husband walked by and told me he loved me or thanks for the nice weekend.  I think his ex-wife may have "broke" him in for me. haha.

I hope he keeps it up.  good luck.

Lilsmiter......I agree with everyone else...you've found yourself a good one! My boyfriend is so much like this....oh and he is a marine too...like lonestar said it is a mix of the military and his momma ;-) My boyfriend is so incredibly sweet and just like you I was a little putt off at first...I wasn't used to being treated right. The marines teach men how to be real men and how to treat their women. Cherish what you have. :-)

I agree with so many of the above postings. My husband of 11 years sounds like this too! He still asks about my day, apologizes over stuff I don't understand, calls to see if he can pick stuff up, and yes, I hit his car (Z28) before we were married and he didn't say a thing! (he did notice though!). One thing I did do when we were dating was to talk to his friends... was this the "real" deal? What about ex-gf's? If you are comfortable with his family and friends then he is probably the "real deal", if other signs start to pop up, you may have a psycho. Good luck! 

Sounds just like my boyfriend- we have been dating for 5 years now and he still acts like this. It's nice! You have found your prince, too!

true love is lunacy, not that I would know, but you have to be a little crazy for the person that you truely love in my opinion.  My only question is do you feel the same affection that he feels for you?  If you think you do, then with only having read what you posted about him and your relationship, i'd say that you two where made for each other

Lol, when my husband and I were first dating, I went through the same thing. We've been together for 4 years now, married for two, and it's exactly the same as day one. Enjoy it, and if it lasts, hold on to him with all your might!

He's a keeper.

You have Q's about this guy.....why?

I'm confused! he sounds thoughtful, considerate and loving... I see no problems 

Stick with it-- if there is crazy, it'll come out right after the honeymoon phase. As long as he's letting you proceed from your end at your own pace, in your own manner, there's no problem with waiting to see. If he starts pressuring you to "keep up" with the way he's indicating he's feeling, then that's the first sign of trouble. I'm going to assume that you've done enough digging on Google to make certain he's not dangerous crazy?

Can we all stop a moment and imagine the (handful of) males who'll see this post and think, "So that's what he gets for being a nice guy-- called crazy!"

Well... I'm not too worried about the nice guys reading the post... the overwhelming consensus is that I am perhaps being a bit over cautious. 

I guess it's because about 2 years ago I got out of a abusive relationship that started really nice too... but in retrospect and with lots of careful evaluation there were signs that were present with the bad buy that just aren't their with my Marine.  It's kind of hard to describe... I think with the Bad guy there was a since of me owing him ("look how nice I am to you! you should be good to me!")... and with my Marine there is a since that he just feels it's the right thing to do. 

It is refreshing to know that I'm not the only girl who was Jaded enough to be a little timid around a really good thing.  This kind of treatment can be a little disarming.

As far as his Family his Mom seems real sweet and his Dad is just adorable.  We all went shooting and his Dad and I hit it right off.  I'd like to keep his Dad in my pocket and pull him out on bad days so he can give me thumbs up and say "Good Job!"  When I left I said, “Thanks for letting me shoot your gun!” he said, “Any time, I’ll be seeing a lot of you.”  Wink wink nudge nudge.

Thanks for the in put everyone, and special thanks for everyone who understands how I was feeling a little nervous.  It’s so nice to know I’m not the only one!